https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 24 Jun 2026 20:15:12 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1519762 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 11:24:52 +0000 alohaorchid 1519762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My best friend knows, but no one else does. I'm not ready to tell people yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1457888 Fri, 28 Feb 2014 12:00:09 +0000 Sprite 1457888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Family has no idea we've even been trying. I plan to keep it that way because it would just be added pressure that I absolutely don't need. I'm not sure if I'll ever tell my family we had troubles, even if/when we do get pregnant. But I'm not super close to my parents. </p> <p>But I'm pretty open with online and IRL friends who are also TTC/have kids about our struggles. I've found it really helps to talk about things, rather than keep them bottled up. Plus, extra people thinking good thoughts and sending me good vibes can't hurt! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1456017 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 18:31:27 +0000 BSB 1456017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmmm, I can't believe I missed this thread.</p> <p>I posted an IF status on IF Awareness week last year, but I only posted it to my female friends. Got a ton of suppport. I was super nervous posting it. </p> <p>Because of how well it was received, I took the plunge and posted another IF post that was created in response to the "10 things about pregnancy' FB post that was going around. I posted it (to everyone, men included) on FB. Once again, it was well received.</p> <p>I'm now out of the IF box. My family knows, my close friends, some of my coworkers know. </p> <p>I got an IF tattoo on my wrist which reminds me of our current struggle so I'm not afraid to hide it. Well, I do keep certain things private and some days I don't feel like talking about it but generally, I'm open about it. </p> <p>It feels great and I was overwhelmed how many of my FB friends have messaged or commented on my statuses. </p> <p>I was super cautious about telling my mom since she has these weird (kinda crazy) rituals. But, she was great. She didn't put me down or anything.</p> <p>Now, that I'm out, there have been comments about "God and his plan." I ignore them and generally don't take offense. </p> <p>My MIL has been supportive but she recently posted on a FB photo about us moving into a house and that a baby is next?!? I was a bit annoyed because if I was normal and fertile that it would apply to me but I'm immune to all that talk. I think people just don't know that their comments are insensitive and I don't want to cause drama by pointing it out. Well, especially since MIL and I have had enough drama in the past. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1455994 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 18:21:10 +0000 LindsayInNY 1455994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crystal: We're absolutely in similar situations. I'm more comfortable telling friends and coworkers than family. I'm nervous to ever have to tell my family. I don't know why. I feel like I would be a bit relieved but I don't know... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1383113 Wed, 29 Jan 2014 01:54:20 +0000 Mrs.Pinecone316 1383113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: My family and closest friends know. But only my family knows we are starting IVF. It is a constant battle going back and forth if I want to keep it private or if I want to be open about it. There are pro's and cons to both. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1358451 Sat, 18 Jan 2014 15:34:44 +0000 bhbee 1358451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No one knew until we had our success with LO. We told parents after we saw the heartbeat and I told my mom all the back story. I'm still not sure what DH told his parents, whether about the if/drugs or the chemicals or just the result. I told my brother and one good friend while it was going on, but just email conversations since they both live far away. </p> <p>Since then I've been fairly open with friends about the trouble we had for #1. I'm definitely not ashamed, but I don't like people asking while it is happening. So for #2 we have kept it to ourselves completely. My mom was here when I found out about my last chemical and I didn't say a word. I am close to her but I find it stressful enough to be waiting for results myself - I absolutely do not want anyone else asking me in real life. On here of course everything is different! :happy: so hopefully, we will again just be more open once things have worked ... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1358384 Sat, 18 Jan 2014 14:45:31 +0000 Mrs. Pinata 1358384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've always been really open about our struggles except at work. So church, friends, family, etc. have always known. (And now that we have DS who we adopted, obviously even people at work know.) But, we figure you never know who might struggle with it and we just want people to be able to share with us. And I'm glad we've been able to be there for others going through similar struggles. </p> <p>But, I just never wanted to share at work because I'm a teacher and it's all ladies (with kids) and I just didn't think they would respond as sensitively and I also didn't want regular questions about whether or not our treatments were working, or hearing others' stories about how it worked when they stopped trying (eye roll), etc. But they were all VERY Excited for us when we brought DS home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1358037 Sat, 18 Jan 2014 09:18:44 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 1358037@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Everyone knows now. We are an open book about it. My DH was born with a genetic condition and it is nothing to be ashamed of. It is nice to have so many people supporting us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1358006 Sat, 18 Jan 2014 08:43:10 +0000 Happygal 1358006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just a few friends, but I don't know if we've used the word infertility. My parents also know and my mom has cried along with me--it took her three years to get pregnant with her first, and I think my stories have made her relive that rough time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357984 Sat, 18 Jan 2014 06:49:44 +0000 tequiero21 1357984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FaithFertility: haha, me too! None of my business!</p> <p>@meganmp: wow. Ruined?! thats extreme. I'm sorry, but if she couldn't handle, she had no business doing it in the first place. I do realize desperation makes u put in more than one, but obviously two was a major possibility. I also mourn for the boys. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357876 Sat, 18 Jan 2014 00:00:01 +0000 owlteach 1357876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meganmp: That was so brave for you to post that :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357873 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 23:56:21 +0000 meganmp 1357873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@beachbee: I got to the point of saying, "Nope! IVF twins." It's what they want to know, and there is NO REASON to be embarrassed, so I just tell. That's just my own crusade, though, so it's not for everyone. Or most people, for that matter:) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357872 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 23:54:48 +0000 meganmp 1357872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: <a href="http://www.komonews.com/news/health/Parents-say-they-regret-In-vitro-twins-stir-up-controversy--222991161.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.komonews.com/news/health/Parents-say-they-regret-In-vitro-twins-stir-up-controversy--222991161.html</a> </p> <p>It was hard to post to my Facebook, but one of my goals in life is to make infertility less of a taboo subject, and I can't do that while hiding it. So, out it went. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357866 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 23:46:53 +0000 owlteach 1357866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I told one best friend when we started trying. I told another after 4 or 5 months. At 8 months, it is hard because I want to be more open with a few people. I think if we aren't pregnant after a year, and begin additional testing for infertility, that is when we would tell our families and a few more friends. </p> <p>I feel like my job does impact how I feel about this though. I do have a unique teaching position program in a small community. My position is like a blend between a teacher and a coach, I travel regularly with students and am facebook friends with some of their parents. I'm just not sure I am comfortable with my students knowing that much about my life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357861 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 23:39:17 +0000 FaithFertility 1357861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: I am guilty of those questions too, but now I won't even ask a girl when she is getting married or engaged....none of my dang business </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357856 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 23:37:13 +0000 FaithFertility 1357856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: when wee made to appointment to see our RE we told our parents and my best friend knows, as we started TTC around the same time, as I started IUI and such I have a few co workers that know because of the time off and such, but now.......</p> <p>If anyone asks about when we are having kids I tell them........mostly for my selfishness...I'd rather just tell them the truth instead of saying in time...blah blah and hearing all of their expert advice like ohhh relax and it will happen.......</p> <p>I am an open person so it does not really bother me </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357816 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 22:47:09 +0000 tequiero21 1357816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@beachbee: I know, honestly never knew what an annoying question it was until I needed if treatments. I am guilty of asking the wrong questions before I went thru all this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357810 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 22:39:08 +0000 beachbee 1357810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: I don't know why people insist on asking that question!?! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357804 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 22:35:28 +0000 tequiero21 1357804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@beachbee: yeah, I get a lot of do twins run in your family? I'm just like, not that I know of, and don't really expand lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357778 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 22:18:12 +0000 beachbee 1357778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't tell anyone while we were TTC. It felt like everyone around me was getting pregnant and I wanted to share in their joy without them "feeling bad" for me. After almost 2 years of TTC, I broke down to my mom at my cousin's wedding after she made a comment about us never giving her grandchildren. Of course she felt awful after I told her what was going on!</p> <p>We told DH's parents a few months later after we started the IVF process since I required surgery before proceeding. I've always been nervous about anesthesia so I just felt better about them knowing in case anything happened.</p> <p>Once I got pregnant with triplets it pretty much threw up a big red flag that screamed INFERTILITY. It also led to lots of awkward "did you have help?", "could you not get pregnant?", etc questions. We were very open with our friends who were genuinely wondering how we were doing, bu there were a few random people at work who I told triplets run in our family :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357751 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 21:58:42 +0000 KT326 1357751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm an open book about it. But I'm also in a different situation than most in that I've pretty much always known I would have trouble getting pregnant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357747 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 21:57:33 +0000 Crystal 1357747@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: some of my coworkers and friends know more than my family too! Sometimes I also get the urge to tell family, but I wonder if it would hurt more than help, so we keep it secret. </p> <p>It sounds like our situations/circumstances are really similar. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357710 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 21:23:11 +0000 MrsTal 1357710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Basically everyone. I decided around November of last year I wasn't going to stay stay silent anymore. Our parents and a few friends knew before that. Then I decided to come out on Facebook and now I am pretty open with everyone that I talk to, when it comes up. I want everyone to be aware and I want people to be more open about infertility and that can start with me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357664 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 20:55:59 +0000 tequiero21 1357664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meganmp: I'm curious to know what that was about! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357643 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 20:38:57 +0000 meganmp 1357643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Everyone knew, eventually. Hell, my Facebook ended up finding out after I was interviewed by a local paper to respond to the woman who said she ruined her family by conceiving twins via IVF. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357640 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 20:37:19 +0000 tequiero21 1357640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our families know. And they know we had twins via ivf. I actually only told our brothers, parents and one cousin, but I know that cousin probably told her sister and maybe her mom. I did tell a couple of friends who knew we were trying for a long time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357636 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 20:31:42 +0000 TheReelDeal 1357636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom and sister know but DH's family has no idea. At Christmas my MIL made an off-handed, but I'm sure loving comment, about how we need to hurry and have a baby before she gets too old to help take care of the baby. She's only in her mid fifties...sssooooo </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357483 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 18:22:20 +0000 Shutterbug 1357483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My BFF knows because I told her when we started TTC. Her DH knows too because we talk about it in front of the DHs. My mom didn't know until last month (21 cycles in) because I was afraid I'd die during the egg retrieval (irrational!!) and I didn't want her to find out that way. She surprised me by being shocked - she didn't even think we were trying. No one else knows, not even my dad, and I kinda like it that way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357474 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 18:19:59 +0000 Mrs.Someone 1357474@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: We told both sets of parents after the 2nd m/c, and they told our siblings. I was really struggling, and we were about to go visit my ILs along with our niece and nephew, and I was worried about how I would react to being around the kids so much, and getting the questions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-know-about-your-if-struggles#post-1357462 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 18:13:12 +0000 LindsayInNY 1357462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crystal: You basically repeated my situation. I think DH's family knows not to ask at this point. We only see them 1-2 times a year though so that makes it easier. My family thinks we're "too busy" for kids right now. Sometimes I want to tell them but I don't know. Ironically, some co-workers and friends know more about the situation - how long we've been trying, the chemical pregnancy, etc.</p> <p>@Mrs.Someone: At what point did you guys tell family? </p>