https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 19:34:55 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-live-close-to-their-in-laws#post-2466987 Thu, 18 Feb 2016 19:49:23 +0000 hocuspocus 2466987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We recently just moved closer to home. We're about an hr and a half from my family and dh's side. We used to live 12 hrs from everyone and it sucked! Now that we are closer MIL visits about every 2 wks. It's awesome. My mom hasn't been to our house since we've been back. we really only see her on holidays :( I hope she makes more of an effort to visit now that we're back. We've already gone to visit her 3 times in 3 mos. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-live-close-to-their-in-laws#post-2466983 Thu, 18 Feb 2016 19:47:17 +0000 FaithFertility 2466983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprild: Yep MIL lives 5 minutes away! We are not close, we by no means have a bad relationship she just isn't a very personable person! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-live-close-to-their-in-laws#post-2466972 Thu, 18 Feb 2016 19:32:15 +0000 MrsBeluga 2466972@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We live three blocks away from my parents, we have to go to their house if we want to see them, its impossible to get them to come to ours. Literally seasons go by and they fail to come visit. We are at their house a ton though (LO used to be watched regularly there), so its been really convenient, but annoying at the same time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-live-close-to-their-in-laws#post-2466947 Thu, 18 Feb 2016 19:13:44 +0000 teacherbee 2466947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <br /><p><i>This comment has been deleted by the original poster.</i></p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-live-close-to-their-in-laws#post-2466914 Thu, 18 Feb 2016 18:30:26 +0000 ms.line 2466914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL lives about 10 minutes away from us but we're totally estranged from her. It's awkward - I wish she would move. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-live-close-to-their-in-laws#post-2466581 Thu, 18 Feb 2016 15:04:45 +0000 cat620 2466581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: Sounds just like our situation. I often say to my husband that there's no point in us living so close to them, because we don't get anything out of it, but unfortunately, they live in a nice area of town, so we don't see the benefit of moving. </p> <p>@skipra: We had the same thing happen last year. They booked a week long vacation during my son's second birthday party. Even though it was on a Saturday, and they could have left on Sunday for their vacation, they wouldn't do it. </p> <p>@ValentineMommy: We pretty much only see them on holidays too. And even then, they like for us to host holidays or buy them dinners, so they don't have to treat us. They always approach things with a what can we get out of this attitude. </p> <p>@josina: Sorry to hear your FIL acts that way. Sounds rough. </p> <p>@deerylou: It's really hard when family don't want to be involved. I always thought if I gave them opportunities, they would take them, but that's not the case. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-live-close-to-their-in-laws#post-2466531 Thu, 18 Feb 2016 14:52:53 +0000 ValentineMommy 2466531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: Oh man, narcissism IS the worst. My parents are in the same town as IL's too! They've seen our second son a handful of times (all at our initiation)....and yet we see my mom almost daily (she watches the boys while I work) and my whole family weekly for dinner. My family takes no effort and has no crazy drama. With his family, it's 100% inevitable that there will be a crazy amount of bs. And for no reason! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-live-close-to-their-in-laws#post-2466438 Thu, 18 Feb 2016 14:23:32 +0000 deerylou 2466438@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ValentineMommy: The narcissism is the worst! My mom and sister live in the same town as they do, which is....interesting. We initially moved for a job opportunity, but have decided to stay put, regardless. My parents have always put in the effort to visit and help out (which we appreciate and reciprocate, of course), and things haven't changed much, since we relocated an hour away. You'd think we lived across the sea and joined a reclusive cult, if we're going off my in-laws involvement in our lives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-live-close-to-their-in-laws#post-2466428 Thu, 18 Feb 2016 14:20:19 +0000 josina 2466428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We live right next to my In-laws (in the country). We have a good relationship with my MIL, but FIL is a real butt head, to put it nicely. He's mostly nice to our faces, but then will talk trash about us behind our backs.<br /> In 8 years he has only been to our house twice. If my MIL tries to help us in anyway she usually gets bitched at for it, so we can very rarely rely on them to babysit, even if its just for a couple hours (while my parents who are an hour away will jump at the chance).<br /> We've just come to accept that this is the way its going to be as long as FIL is still around, unfortunately. He is a bi-polar alcoholic who is only nice when MIL leaves him and he's trying to suck up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-live-close-to-their-in-laws#post-2466426 Thu, 18 Feb 2016 14:19:34 +0000 WifeMama24 2466426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Fortunately my IL"s live about 5 minutes away from me and we are really close, my MIL is excited to baby sit and she is very good with kids so im happy about that but all of my family lives in California so that is kind of hard although its fun to go visit them kind of like a mini vacation, My mom passed away 7 years ago so no one in CA would be able to babysit anyway. hoping to give my inlaws grandkids soon </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-live-close-to-their-in-laws#post-2466414 Thu, 18 Feb 2016 14:14:36 +0000 ValentineMommy 2466414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup...this is my life.</p> <p>IL's live one town over and we pretty much only see them on holidays. They make no effort, and if they do, DH keeps it from me. It's been awkward and uncomfortable for years now, and despite many attempts to fix it, every time it ended badly.</p> <p>@deerylou: Narcissism....yup. We deal with that too, and it's the worst. If my parents didn't also live close, I'd definitely take after you guys and move away! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-live-close-to-their-in-laws#post-2466406 Thu, 18 Feb 2016 14:12:19 +0000 skipra 2466406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are not that close but used to be closer - about 40 minutes away. We always had to make the effort. They just can't be bothered so when we moved we made no effort to stay close/easy drive from them. MIL doesn't like to drive on the highway but we used to live on the same train line as them. We asked her to help us once and she agreed then just never showed and ignored DH when he asked what happened. They have recently told us they booked a vacation and will not be around for LO's birthday this year. I have really tried - like I woud text or call MIL and she would only respond to DH. If I sent her a picture she would forward to everyone and never even acknowledge I sent it to her. I don't even bother any more. Can't make someone care! I feel bad for the kids and DH but there is zero chance I will ever go out of my way for them after how they treat us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-live-close-to-their-in-laws#post-2466367 Thu, 18 Feb 2016 13:56:31 +0000 deerylou 2466367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Used to live within a few miles, same issue of disinterest, on top of narcissism. We eventually moved an hour away and now have very little contact with them. We've been through the ringer trying to make things work. I tend to be tight and affectionate with family, and never understood why nothing was ever reciprocated, or why we were always excluded. Ultimately, it's their loss. I'm truly sorry you're going through this; the disinterest in your children is the most painful, I think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-anyone-live-close-to-their-in-laws#post-2466356 Thu, 18 Feb 2016 13:51:48 +0000 cat620 2466356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>but you don't have much of a relationship with them? My in-laws live a few miles away, but I wouldn't say we are close. I feel like I've tried to reach out, but my efforts are one sided. They don't take much of an interest in their grandkids lives, they don't talk to me outside of when we visit them, and they don't offer to babysit or help out with the kids unless we ask. Even when I had mastitis and felt like death, my MIL, who only works part-time, never offered to come by or check on me. </p> <p>I've expressed my disappointment about our relationship to my DH who said I should stop trying, and I should accept that we are never going to be close. He said I should treat them like acquaintances and be civil, but nothing more. This is hard for me, because I feel like living so close to them should mean we have a good relationship, but I guess this is how they prefer things to be. Has anyone been in this situation? Any advice? </p>