https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 08:06:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-conflict-make-your-relationship-stronger#post-627097 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 16:30:44 +0000 fatkid 627097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hotter the fire, stronger the steel.<br /> Applies to both relationships and engineered alloys. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-conflict-make-your-relationship-stronger#post-627069 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 16:02:03 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 627069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Think it depends! Hell and back as in he cheated or something.. I don't think that would make us stronger, it would probably end everything.</p> <p>Hell and back because of other things I think can make things stronger. My friend and her then boyfriend had been dating for 2 weeks when his dad died. They had to get serious really quick, and they've had a great relationship for almost 8 years now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-conflict-make-your-relationship-stronger#post-627058 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 15:44:36 +0000 Bookish 627058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, if you mean long the lines of 'been through a lot together,' then yes, I definitely think it can make a relationship stronger, if both people react in healthy ways. For example, within 6 months of dating DH, my parents announced their separation, we moved in together, I quit school for a semester, and DH had his truck totaled. I figured if we could make it through all of that, we could make it through anything! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-conflict-make-your-relationship-stronger#post-626954 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 14:11:19 +0000 Silva 626954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh- and I guess I'm thinking of conflict between two people. Tragedy or suffering in our lives (like other posters are talking about) seems like it can bring people together, if they support each other through it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-conflict-make-your-relationship-stronger#post-626952 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 14:10:16 +0000 Silva 626952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wonder if sometimes people romanticize relationships that have a lot of drama/conflict in them. I'm a therapist for young women and a LOT of them do that. They say things like "I know I deserve to be treated better, but I am addicted to him." My clients are not the most stable people, so obviously this is an exaggeration- but the kind of conflict where people treat each other poorly doesn't, in my mind, really belong in any kind of relationship- nor does it make it stronger.</p> <p>I agree with you- we determined early on how we would treat each other when we are upset, disappointed, angry, whatever- I wouldn't stay in a relationship if the conflict was disrespectful. Conflict in a relationship seems inevitable though- so I guess its how you handle it.</p> <p>Rambling- sorry! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-conflict-make-your-relationship-stronger#post-626915 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 13:40:09 +0000 ShootingStar 626915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think going through hell together can make your relationship stronger. But having someone put you through hell damages it. DH and I have faced losing a pregnancy and my losing a job together and I think we're better for it. </p> <p>But before DH I was in a relationship with someone else. I loved him desperately. We had all these issues because we're from different cultures and his mom threatened to disown him if he was with me. He did a lot of awful things during that time that I forgave him for because I loved him. But he eventually broke my heart so badly (cheating was involved) that what we had was irreparable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-conflict-make-your-relationship-stronger#post-626882 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 13:12:58 +0000 singingbee 626882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our hell and back is losing our daughter, our first child. We figured anything else after that is little stuff. We really don't fight that much, if ever, so there isn't much else to worry about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-conflict-make-your-relationship-stronger#post-626856 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 12:52:57 +0000 mlm2934 626856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My version of hell and back is some nasty nasty fights with DH that are because we both are stubborn hot heads and try to prove and get agreement on issues, which never seems to work. Years together and gaining some maturity have helped, and sometimes that felt like hell and back, and it definitely made us stronger. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-conflict-make-your-relationship-stronger#post-626847 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 12:47:15 +0000 Pirouette 626847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The question is stronger than what? Than it was before? I'd say if there is cheating, desertion, etc., it is highly likely there were having problems before that, so I guess it is possible for things to be better after working through the conflict...that said, a relationship that doesn't have problems to begin with doesn't need conflict to be strong... And I'd definitely say our relationship would be much worse off if we had that kind of conflict!</p> <p>As for dealing with hardship, deaths, etc., I think they require you to dig deep down and find the strength in your relationship, which may have always been there, but wasn't necessarily needed on a daily basis. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-conflict-make-your-relationship-stronger#post-626823 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 12:27:50 +0000 MrsH 626823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like pp I think it depends. We have had a lot of family issues, deaths, sickness, m/c, etc so I like to think if we can get through all that then we can get through anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-conflict-make-your-relationship-stronger#post-626775 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 11:35:47 +0000 .twist. 626775@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd agree it depends on what hell and back is. My husband and I have been to hell and back, but it was not an issue with us. He has two kids from a previous relationship and his ex has put us through a lot of shit (restraining orders, lying, manipulating their kids, etc). The conflict she's created for our family, for our relationship, for her children's growth, has put major strains on us at times but we've always come out stronger for it. :) </p> <p>I agree with @blackbird: that if it's fighting all the time or cheating and stuff, I probably wouldn't stick around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-conflict-make-your-relationship-stronger#post-626766 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 11:29:23 +0000 blackbird 626766@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Depends what Hell and back entails. We have had a lot of hardships-deployments, military issues, family deaths, etc, but not direct conflict with each other. I would have kicked him to the curb long before having two of his kids if that were the case, ha</p> <p>I do think difficult issues in general enhance communication and the like, but if it's crazy fighting and cheating and all that nastiness, I just don't get it because I wouldn't stay. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-conflict-make-your-relationship-stronger#post-626725 Sat, 09 Mar 2013 11:12:52 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 626725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A woman I know has two children with her now fiance. She was excited to show off her engagement ring and told me she didn't think marriage would ever happen for them. She said they have been together for 14 years and she has been through ALOT with him...hell and back, actually. I didn't ask exactly what, but imagined cheating, desertion, crazy fights, and periods of suffocating uncertainty since she sounded like he hurt in the past.</p> <p>Do you think "hell and back" would make you and your SO stronger?</p> <p>DH and I have not had to face hardships or lots of drama. We set our expectations for respect and fair fighting early on in our relationship. I don't know if we would come out stronger on the other end if we intentionally hurt each other. </p>