https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 09 May 2026 23:31:33 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1459144 Fri, 28 Feb 2014 18:11:38 +0000 Arden 1459144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anandam: It's kind of impossible to "not let the baby wean". When he's done, he just won't nurse! :) I agree though that baby's best interest should be of utmost importance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1459120 Fri, 28 Feb 2014 17:57:14 +0000 Glitter 1459120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He has a say but I'm pretty sure I have more sway! I keep telling him to enjoy the boobies now because soon they won't be his any longer!</p> <p>Seriously though, our aim is to breastfeed for at least 6 mnths but if that's not working out, he will be aware and he won't allow me to be miserable over it. And if it does work out further great, happy baby, happy parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1458869 Fri, 28 Feb 2014 16:24:45 +0000 anandam 1458869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Great thread. We're not at this stage yet (#1 is still in utero) but my instinct is that it's a joint decision, with opinions heavily weighted by motive. Like, if either person's opinion is motivated primarily by self-interest (Dad's jealous of the time/breast-sharing or Mom's over the hassle of pumping at work; or on the other end, either parent is addicted to the feeling of baby being young and dependent and doesn't want to let them to wean) the baby's best interest should be discerned and considered very carefully before making any big decision. In the case of a disagreement, baby should win. I think that's what we signed up for when we conceived! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1458784 Fri, 28 Feb 2014 16:01:09 +0000 MoonMoon 1458784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I honestly don't know how I would react if he was not supportive of my choices in this area. I didn't think I'd be as devoted to BF as I am, but I am and I don't want to stop any earlier than LO weans himself. Likewise, if I wasn't into it, no one could talk me into doing it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1458736 Fri, 28 Feb 2014 15:51:34 +0000 heartonastring 1458736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He supports whatever I choose. When I struggled with BFing at the beginning he made it very clear that he would be 100% okay with switching to formula, but he in no way pushed FF over BF, or vice versa. He says it's my body, my choice and that he will support whatever I choose unconditionally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1458714 Fri, 28 Feb 2014 15:45:54 +0000 purrpletulips 1458714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes he had a say but drove me nuts both times because he'd flip flop on his opinion. One week he'd want me to quit and use formula and the next he'd be supportive of me BF forever. In the end it was usually tied to my emotional state and how stressed BF was making me at the time. However, he was fine with the timeframe we ended up with both times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1457306 Fri, 28 Feb 2014 09:26:44 +0000 LovelyPlum 1457306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cyan: I think this will be my DH as well!</p> <p>@birdofafeather: that's great :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1457183 Fri, 28 Feb 2014 08:52:39 +0000 regberadaisy 1457183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@birdofafeather: ha! I love your husband's response because it's real and truthful and he actually <i>thought</i> about it! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1457168 Fri, 28 Feb 2014 08:50:01 +0000 Dandelion 1457168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're on the same page with it, mostly because formula is expensive and I SAH. But DH does have a say in all parenting desicions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1457041 Fri, 28 Feb 2014 07:35:43 +0000 bushelandapeck 1457041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were both on board with me BF and it was extremely important to me to go at least until age 1. There were a few heated discussions during the middle of the night when DH thought we should FF because he heard it would extend LOs sleep...Although I did understand he was trying to look out for all of our well-being, I was unwilling to consider FF at that point. I felt like I should be able to keep trying if i wanted to, because ultimately the responsibility fell on me and LO was growing and eating just fine. We have since worked this out and I hope it goes smoother next time around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1456954 Fri, 28 Feb 2014 04:12:40 +0000 sarac 1456954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. I'd hear his opinion, but that's about it. I know so many women who quit nursing earlier than they wanted just because their husband wanted them to. I would never! Thankfully we're on the same page about it, so it isn't even an issue.</p> <p>If it was a matter of my wanting to quit early, I'd give his opinion more weight, just because of there cost involved with formula. But even then he'd just want me to be happy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1456887 Fri, 28 Feb 2014 00:55:58 +0000 shopaholic 1456887@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjyw: Same!</p> <p>It's actually way easier for him since I EBF. No bottle washing, no worrying about feedings at all, no MOTN wake-ups. lol. IDK what he's going to do when we wean and he has to be the one to do bedtime in the beginning! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1456885 Fri, 28 Feb 2014 00:54:22 +0000 sunny 1456885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He was definitely on board with BF up to a year. Past a year, he's been telling me to quit, because he thinks she isn't getting enough. But we give her hemp milk during the day (along with tons of solids) so I think she's fine. He wants me to be done with pumping though. He is so over washing the pump parts!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1456870 Fri, 28 Feb 2014 00:21:48 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 1456870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. My body. </p> <p>My friend's husband was extremely adamant that she wean by six months. When baby wasn't ready to wean then, he said nine months. So, mom was forced to wean at nine months because it was such a big deal to her husband. That is absolutely bizarre and totally not right, in my opinion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1456793 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 23:07:48 +0000 birdofafeather 1456793@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i asked DH what he thought after reading through this thread and he said, whatever i wanted. i asked if that meant going to 5 years old and he said yes... and then took it back and said not that long because he wanted me boobs to himself at some point! ha. </p> <p>it was a given that i would at least try to BF and i had a goal of 1 year and i was open to longer. DH must have been on the same page as he never expressed concern and doesn't bat an eye that i'm still BFing at 13.5 months. at this point, i am thinking of weaning somewhere around 18 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1456679 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 22:12:20 +0000 cyan 1456679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think my husband is as passionate (stubborn?) about breastfeeding as I am. He would have given LO formula during our early struggles if I had let him. He is definitely supportive, but he supports breastfeeding because it is the choice that I made, not necessarily because he feels like it is a *must*.</p> <p>My goal has always been a year (maybe a bit more if LO is not quite ready to completely wean), and I think my husband would be confused (but supportive, I hope) if we went much longer than that.</p> <p>ETA: After re-reading, I wanted to clarify. He sees the benefits of BF, but his main concern is, by his own admission, my well-being. So if BF didn't work out or was excessively stressful for me, he would have been just fine with FF. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1456675 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 22:11:05 +0000 Ginabean3 1456675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope! I told him my goal was a year and he was like, "cool!" And then I made it a year of combo feeding and we were both pretty darn proud of me! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1456657 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 22:05:42 +0000 yin 1456657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't actually asked him for his opinion. With our first I didn't get a chance to breastfeed (just EP), and he was so supportive of me through that difficult year. He is my biggest cheerleader now with DS2. I have voiced my goals, and he hasn't opposed it. I should probably ask... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1456560 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 21:43:43 +0000 Boogs 1456560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He was happy that LO was getting breast fed, other than that he was happy with whatever made me happy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1456038 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 18:43:33 +0000 LovelyPlum 1456038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: I can only imagine! I'm at increased risk for PPD, and I know that DH will be extra.vigilant to help me manage my triggers. If BF goes well, then great, we will do it. It is important to me that I try, and he supports it. But if it becomes something that leads me to a bad place, I know I can count on him to tell me that it is OK to stop, and to pick up the extra slack in feeding LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1454964 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 14:13:26 +0000 MrsStar 1454964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dh was super supportive about how I chose to feed lo, he knew I wanted to try breastfeeding but we didn't know how it would go. I had some issues when lo was cluster-feeding (didn't understand what cluster-feeding was and freaked that I had no supply) and I cried to dh that I couldn't do it anymore, he calmed me down and suggested I try for another day and see how it goes. He never suggested weaning at any point and we made it to 13 months. So it was all my decision but he was supportive of whatever I decided. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1454744 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 13:45:41 +0000 Mrs. M 1454744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He has been super supportive and supports my decisions about breastfeeding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1454694 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 13:40:41 +0000 illumina 1454694@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't really talk about it because we both assumed that I would BF...then when I decided I wanted to wean after 4mths he was really supportive. I don't think he'd have had any issues if I wanted to BF for longer than 6mths/1yr though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1454647 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 13:33:53 +0000 Maysprout 1454647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I respect his opinions and we discuss parenting a lot, including breastfeeding.<br /> But I get the main say in breastfeeding since it's my body. He knows I have the best interest of our LOs so he's supportive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1454585 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 13:26:48 +0000 googly-eyes 1454585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: ditto to all of that. I did have severe ppd with our first and so far only child and it played a huge role, in addition to physical problems, in stopping bf. </p> <p>Of course dh has a say! That doesn't mean he has the only say, and it certainly doesn't make me feel controlled. I suppose in the end dh has more of a say I he wanted me to stop than start, because starting/bf'ing requires my presence all the time whereas stopping is something he could assist with by soothing or bottle feeding depending on the age of a future bf child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1454429 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 13:02:31 +0000 MusicaV 1454429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't remember ever talking about it. DH has been supportive of BFing. LO is still nursing at 17 months. I can't imagine DH telling me I should stop nursing. He knows it's very important to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/3#post-1454391 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 12:51:19 +0000 LovelyPlum 1454391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We talked about it, and we both agreed that my goal is to try. He wants what's best for our baby, but he's also a huge advocate for my mental health. If and when we get to a point where BF (or my lack of being able to do it "well," whatever that means) negatively affects how I view myself as a mother and as a person, I am 100% sure that he will step in and advocate for us to reconsider how we can make the situation better for all of us. </p> <p>Neither of us were BF exclusively, so he is not tied to that. He knows that it is important for me to try, but he (and I) also know that I am often *way* too hard on myself. Breastfeeding is supposed to nurture a family, not harm it. If my efforts to do it affect my mental health and start harming me, and therefore us, I'm glad to know that I can count on him to help me make the best decision we can as a family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/2#post-1454244 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 12:28:06 +0000 chopsuey 1454244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We talked about it before our kids were born and agreed that I would nurse until 2 years. DD went for 28 months, and DS self weaned at 10.5 months! I pumped for 1.5 months and stopped on his 1st birthday. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/2#post-1454231 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 12:24:36 +0000 Arden 1454231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We discussed it before she was born and agreed that I'd offer it to her until age 2, but after that never refuse if she asks. We both believe in self weaning. </p> <p>If I chose to wean her at two though, he'd probably try to talk me out of it but in the end he'd be okay with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-dad-have-a-say-in-breastfeeding-timeline/page/2#post-1454216 Thu, 27 Feb 2014 12:20:44 +0000 mjane 1454216@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: "It's one thing if the child is harmed by her decision, but obviously formula is not harmful at all!" Indeed. :) </p>