https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 14 Apr 2026 07:27:09 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405897 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 12:57:53 +0000 yoursilverlining 2405897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: WOW to your SIL - that's some balls to assume that someone else (not even her own mom!) wants to watch her kids *for free*. That's some crazy entitlement right there, good luck to your brother dealing with that type!!</p> <p>Both my MIL and my parents live about half an hour away and will babysit anytime we want. They are eager to spend time with LO (she is the only grandchild on both sides, so that helps). </p> <p>My FIL and SMIL live close about half the year and they never offer to babysit and are very odd about spending any time with LO. For instance, they've declined to come to LO's birthday parties because 1) they were packing (2nd birthday) and 2. because the cable man might come (3rd birthday). That kind of indifference blows my mind and bugs me, but the day-to-day indifference doesn't bother me because LO has other grandparents who step up.</p> <p>ETA: Neither of our moms are interested in grandma care, and neither are we. They are available for babysitting, not every day type care. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405879 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 12:44:17 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2405879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sort of. We've relied on my mother in law for stretches and she has been very helpful. But then she'll go months barely seeing us at all and then just show up one day. It's sporadic! :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405876 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 12:41:08 +0000 Charm54 2405876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes we are very fortunate ! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405875 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 12:40:13 +0000 sandy 2405875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my parents live super close and are now both retired. When LO was a baby they would visit several times a week and would stay through a nap so I could get out and run errands. They also have stayed with her when we have gone on solo trips without her - the big one was leaving her to go to New York and Europe. They stay at our place and basically keep her routine of going to school and visiting lots of play areas. When I was in the hospital and recovering at home they also took over care for LO 3-4 times a week for about 2 months. My inlaws really stepped up during those 2 months (also both retired) and alternated care for LO with my parents. Bc of that time they became super close to LO and have a great relationship with her now. I'm so thankful for that. It is one of the many gifts we say that Ava gave to our family. Both sets of grandparents don't do regular childcare but they are always willing to watch LO if needed. We also have a sitter we call for date night bc we know we can't always ask our parents to babysit </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405848 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 12:21:51 +0000 LuLu Mom 2405848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, both sets are close and babysit for us when we ask (not daily care, but for nights/ect.) Actually my girls have been at my in laws all week because daycare is closed and I didn't want to use vacation. My MIL is a lot more willing to babysit, my mom I think gets burned out by my older sister. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405843 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 12:19:07 +0000 LindsayLou 2405843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's pretty presumptuous to just assume that your parents would provide allcare! All of our parents are still working, so even if they lived right down the street, they would not be providing care. My mil and her husband are about 45 minutes away, and they babysit once a month. They would like to do more, but I have my limits (whole other story). My parents are going to start coming down, from 2 hours away, to babysit and visit, probably once every 2 or 3 months. They already visit, just haven't babysat yet.</p> <p>For what it's worth, my mom says that if she eventually does have grand kids near her, she will open a preschool out of her house and watch her own grand kids however much is needed. She was a preschool teacher for years, and still works in the early education field, so it makes sense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405829 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 12:10:05 +0000 Lilbear 2405829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not for us. My FIL lived 10 minutes away until very recently and he would NEVER want to watch our DD. He's just super uncomfortable around little kids. He wouldn't even hold her when she was a baby. </p> <p>My MIL is 20 minutes away, but she won't drive at night, so we never call her to help with date nights. (Since she would have to spend the night at our place - NYC apartment with no extra space).</p> <p>My parents live almost 2 hours away, so they aren't close enough to hep out. Thank goodness for care.com!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405825 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 12:07:00 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2405825@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes we have four super involved grandparents and two aunts who help out too. As an aunt, I try to see my two nephews as much as possible and help with them. I realize we're very lucky but it seems so natural to us it's hard to imagine it any other way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405802 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 11:51:16 +0000 renee0106 2405802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents live in town but both still work full-time. They've been watching LO regularly when our daycare was closed because they've been on vacation. They want to get as much time as possible with him, which is really nice. My dad is so good with LO and LO just lights up when he sees him!</p> <p>My MIL wants to see him all the time and hold him but she is not very good with him. He screams pretty much every time she holds him and I just end up taking him back. She makes snotty comments about how she never gets to hold him. I think she's just not very good with babies. My FIL has never held him once and doesn't show any interest in holding him either. It makes it very difficult to even want to go over to their house anymore. Hopefully it will get better as LO gets older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405773 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 11:33:06 +0000 Finfan 2405773@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, DD1 is regularly at her grandparents (my ILs) without us so we can work on our house or take care of errands. DD2 is 8 weeks and I am still on maternity leave so she usually comes with us. </p> <p>DH is a SAHD so he spends a lot of time over there just to hang out with them and our kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405765 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 11:27:42 +0000 HLK208 2405765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, both my parents still work and my mom takes care of my elderly grandpa on her days off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405755 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 11:23:09 +0000 DesertDreams88 2405755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>MIL will be our full time caregiver starting in July, and but she and FIL have explicitly said they don't want to babysit for us at any other time, haha. They draw the line at 40 hours a week, which I understand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405684 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 10:42:16 +0000 fancyfunction 2405684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, our parents have been our only sitters so far though we are looking to have some non-family back-ups. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405681 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 10:41:47 +0000 catlady 2405681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dad lives 25 min away but still works full time. He takes LO for a few hours maybe 1-2 per month, but we still hire a babysitter for date nights usually since I feel bad making him stay here late and then have to drive home.</p> <p>MIL lives 45 min away and comes over to babysit maybe once every couple months. She is retiring soon though and has offered to help out a bit more at that point, which will be nice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405676 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 10:38:06 +0000 autumnlove 2405676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T-Mom: that is great to hear!!! He is really intimidated by them right now. :-p </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405675 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 10:37:52 +0000 cat620 2405675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My in-laws live 2 miles from us, and my MIL babysits frequently. She will babysit during date nights, which we will do maybe 2-3 times a month, and she will take my oldest son who is 2.5 one morning a week, so I can have some free time to get stuff done. I'm a SAHM, but having a toddler around 24/7 can make it hard to accomplish things I need to do around the house. I keep my baby with me, since he's only 4 months old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405669 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 10:34:40 +0000 T-Mom 2405669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents live about 5 min away. They are very guarded with their time, despite being retired. But they can definitely be depended on if we need backup care or an occasional date night. </p> <p>@autumnlove: My dad got way more interested in my kids as they have gotten older.. it's less about taking care of them now and more about doing fun things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405664 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 10:32:30 +0000 lawbee11 2405664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents are local but both still work full-time. My mom babysits for us around once a month or two. I also use a teacher from LO's daycare because I don't like asking my mom every time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405646 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 10:24:15 +0000 autumnlove 2405646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: my MIL never offers so I just ask every few months. Sometimes she says yes and sometimes no..nbd. I would never resent her for not offering. </p> <p>She has been awesome in emergency situations....ER visits, etc! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405638 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 10:21:17 +0000 Caly 2405638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup...my parents live close and regularly babysit. DH's parents have passed but he does have two sisters that are also avail to watch the kiddos. My dad is the most involved since he's nearly retired watching the girls at least once a week to give DH a break and is avail should we have something going on. My mom works so she likes to come by on the weekends to spend time with them. Between my parents/family, there is always someone avail. My mom pretty much has said that if we need someone for the girls, between her and my dad, they'll make it work. It isn't something we expect or take advantage of, however. Also, they genuinely want to spend time with the girls, whether it's watching them or hanging out with them while me and DH are also home. My dad said a while back that one of his regrets is that our family didn't grow up closer to our grandparents (we were states away and only saq them a couple times a year) so he wants to spend as much time with his grandkids as he's able and be in their lives on a regular basis. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405635 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 10:20:47 +0000 SweetCaroline 2405635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It does not mean that for us. DH's mom cares for our niece and nephew very regularly and is exhausted whenever we need an occasional babysitter. We pay for full time daycare. Any dates we go on are usually when my parents are visiting from out of town. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405632 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 10:19:24 +0000 dc yoga bee 2405632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes! My parents are local, and we pay my mom to "nanny." She spends Monday night at our house, goes home Tuesday night, and then spends wed-thurs or just wed depending on whether I work Friday. So, we haven't really used her for "babysitting" yet, as LO is only 7 months, however she does always offer to keep her for the weekend or a few hours if we want a date night. We plan to start having date nights/day once a month in the new year! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405625 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 10:16:05 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2405625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: Wow! That would be super frustrating. </p> <p>My ILs live 30 minutes away and offer to babysit as needed. Sometimes they prefer to have the kids out at their house which I'm not as comfortable with. </p> <p>Even when we get together with my parents for a visit, they try to send DH and I out for a drink! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405618 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 10:13:05 +0000 MrsSCB 2405618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's a bit rude of your SIL to assume that! It kind of bugs me when people just automatically expect their parents to want to basically provide FT childcare. I know people who have gotten mad when they didn't, which is crazy to me. If we lived near our parents, I would never assume that -- they raised their children ;-) Of course it's a different story if grandparent really wants to take care of them regularly. That would be nice but I wouldn't expect it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405608 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 10:08:54 +0000 autumnlove 2405608@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: ha, yeah my mom told me that she can help out but she does not want to be a FT babysitter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405590 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 10:02:37 +0000 kiddosc 2405590@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents live very close but both still work full-time, so we don't do grand parent care. They love having E over for to babysit though and he even has a room set-up in their house. If they don't see him in 2 weeks I start getting calls and texts about trying to plan a visit. </p> <p>We lived close to my MIL when E was a baby and she offered to watch him for us, but we declined. We suspected there would be issues with her following our wishes and wanted to avoid those arguments. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405588 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 10:01:19 +0000 snowjewelz 2405588@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Grandparent care - Yes. My mom took care of DD from 3-10 months, and still does since DD only goes to part-time daycare. </p> <p>But b/c of this, we try not to ask her for any extra on the weekends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405586 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 10:00:57 +0000 regberadaisy 2405586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ha! Nope. My inlaws live 10 minutes away and have flat out said no thanks to watching the 3 year for one day a week. We don't care about the $ portion. It's about her spending more time with her grandparents. Minus my FIL doing daycare pickup for us 2x a week, they only see the girls when we invite everyone over for dinner. Which happens about 2x a month.</p> <p>They are both retired and minus MIL's routine appointments, literally have no other pressing engagements. It baffles our mind.</p> <p>They never offer to babysit. But the one plus is in a emergency situation my FIL will always come through. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405585 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 10:00:30 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2405585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: Haha, has your mom ever indicated she wants to be a nanny? My mom has made it very clear even if we move closer to them, she doesn't want to be a child care provider. She still wants to just be grandma. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-having-local-grandparents-mean-grandparent-carefrequent-babysitters-for-you#post-2405580 Thu, 31 Dec 2015 09:59:01 +0000 looch 2405580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep, my parents are in town, they are before/aftercare for my son. In fact, my son's with them today, while my husband and I are both at work.</p> <p>We've always paid for care, though. When I went back to work, my son began daycare, but he went very part time. He's now in preschool about 4 hours a day.</p> <p>They're retired. </p>