https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 14:19:26 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1983567 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 21:40:27 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 1983567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH complains about my family occasionally, and I'm usually okay with it. But when other people start...then I get defensive. An IL had some choice things to say about my sister, and I definitely didn't take that well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1983545 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 21:21:20 +0000 Eko 1983545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup! My parents are divorced and I grew up listening to them bicker about each other so I've grown to know how to defend my family. DH and I like each other's family so we don't say anything there. My older brother talks a lot of crap about my dad, it's a complicated relationship, and I try to shut him down when he is out of control about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1983530 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 21:08:38 +0000 Mrs.Pinecone316 1983530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel the same way. I think its because when they are your family you have that unconditional love for them where other people don't so them complaining or venting irks me more. That is rude that she was complaining about the gift though. My MIL sends stuff that makes no sense sometimes but my DH and I just try and laugh about it since it is still thoughtful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1983270 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 13:08:04 +0000 BSB 1983270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's tricky. If its well know gripe that my whole family gripes about, it's usually okay for DH to complain about it, too. If he uses it towards/against me and in a condesending way, yeah, that's that good. </p> <p>As for my MIL, I don't think she should be complain about my parents or family at all. She's said some offensive things (crossed a big line) during my wedding, and she lost that card. I would think she knows better nowadays. We are getting along right now and I hope it stays that way. I really hope she learned her lesson. </p> <p>I do complain about DH's family and it usually in front of him. Now, if his other family members are complaing about another family member, I'll listen but I usually don't say much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1983240 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 11:52:03 +0000 autumnlove 1983240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: like sleeping bags on top of beds?! :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1983212 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 10:42:09 +0000 Corduroy 1983212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: My SIL and I are pretty close. She doesn't go on long rants about my parents but I'm glad she does vent sometimes. Once she blurted out how offended she was that my parents sleep in sleeping bags when they comes to her house. She thought it was a statement about her housekeeping and it had probably been bugging her for years. I can't explain it but they do the same at my house. Usually it's something like that. I wouldn't enjoy a long rant. </p> <p>I probably need to do a better job about not complaining to DH about his family. My comments are 95% about them as house guests so I hope he takes it as my issues as a hostess and not issues I think they have. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1983197 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 10:17:48 +0000 Anagram 1983197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: your SIL is crazy. I can't imagine in a trillion years complaining to my SIL about her and DHs parents (my in laws). That's just asking for trouble.</p> <p>I don't have a lot of complaints about my in laws in general, but if I do, I know I have to approach verrrry carefully with DH because he does get defensive about the smallest things regarding them. I'm sliiiightly less defensive about my own mom. I mean, DH generally doesn't complain about her, so if he does, I figure it's mostly justified. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982983 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 22:42:41 +0000 mrsrain 1982983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely. I always feel like it's one thing when I (or my sisters) criticize my family. We are IN it. We grew up in it. That's our right. But anyone else? Nope, you don't have that right. DH has been critical a few times (with good reason, my family is crazy), but always very carefully so. Even so it makes me feel like my loyalty is split. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982938 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 21:26:05 +0000 mrs scrapbook 1982938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man. I can talk bad about my family, but if anyone else does (outside my family), I freak out!</p> <p>DH loves my family but sometimes when I get upset and complain he will agree with me and I get all upset that he's "bashing" my family. So he doesn't really do that anymore. Now he just listens quietly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982895 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 20:38:48 +0000 catomd00 1982895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah it's in the family of I can complain about them but you can't. Even though my DH is justified when e does it, I hate when he bitches about y family. I think it's really rude and disrespectful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982850 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 19:27:39 +0000 Pumpkin Pie 1982850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the only people who complained about my family is my DH and I don't mind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982827 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 18:53:36 +0000 loveisstrange 1982827@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. I can talk shit.... It's my family and, in the end, I love them. No one else is allowed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982799 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 18:22:35 +0000 babynumber1 1982799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get super angry when DH criticizes my family. My ILs are the freakin Waltons, so my family is very different for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982794 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 18:11:13 +0000 Raindrop 1982794@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha! I don't mind when DH complains about my family but sometimes he goes a bit overboard... rightfully so sometimes... I usually interrupt him if he goes on too long and say "I agree with you but can we stop for a moment... if I said some of the things you just said about my family about your family... how would you feel? I don't mind you complaining but I think you are going a bit far now" He usually pauses and thinks about it and agrees. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982793 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 18:10:49 +0000 Synchronicity 1982793@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't really been in this position, other than griping right along with my sisters about someone in our family, and that doesn't happen often. I think my family is awesome, so I can't imagine I'd take it all that well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982770 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 17:33:37 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1982770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, my husband is very judgmental about my immediate family to the point I don't share much with him anymore. He's polite and funny and engaging when they are around, but he holds them in contempt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982766 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 17:29:13 +0000 cait 1982766@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep! My family members can pick on each other but no one else better have anything negative to say! Silly, but I think totally normal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982750 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 17:10:09 +0000 mrs. tictactoe 1982750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I think that's totally normal. I can complain about them, but nobody else can :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982729 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 16:45:46 +0000 Kimberlybee 1982729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only complain about my inlaws to my gal pals. I just act like a shoulder to cry on when he complains about his side though. We never complain about the other person's families to each other, nothing good will come out of it. Honestly though, all the drama is on his side of the family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982711 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 16:28:54 +0000 Applesandbananas 1982711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. My mother has a pathetic excuse of a boyfriend who bashes my dad constantly. She doesn't get why I won't spend time with her boyfriend... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982706 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 16:26:41 +0000 IRunForFun 1982706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not really, but the only person who might complain is DH and he doesn't really. He actually defends them when I complain about them. I complain about his family too, though, and it really bothers him, even if I'm basically repeating something he said! So I've tried to stop because even if I think he agrees with me, it gets me into trouble. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982701 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 16:23:29 +0000 blackbird 1982701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>meh, not really. I don't have the monopoly on bitching about my family. In fact, it usually makes me feel better than someone else feels the same way I do :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982681 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 16:07:41 +0000 LBee 1982681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: Ha! My sister is the same way - she complains that whenever she tries to "vent" about Mom that I give her a death look. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982677 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 16:05:38 +0000 autumnlove 1982677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: haha, my brother could tell I was annoyed...Facetime gave away my B face and he texted sorry after we hung up! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982675 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 16:05:13 +0000 mrs. bird 1982675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it pisses me off. My brother's wife has tried to complain to me about my brother, I try to be patient, but it frustrates me. If he were awful, I wouldn't mind, but she blames him for her own choices.</p> <p>Edit to add: the only thing mr bird has ever complained about my family is that they're too perfect. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982674 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 16:04:40 +0000 Cherrybee 1982674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes!! I bitch about my mum all the time but when my DH moans about her I get all ragey! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982673 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 16:03:50 +0000 Anya 1982673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't been in this position, but sometimes it bothers my husband when I complain about my OWN family! (moreso than about his) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982672 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 16:03:33 +0000 LBee 1982672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes! I'm very defensive about my family. My husband can even be agreeing with something I'm saying and I'll suddenly get defensive. It's okay when I say it, it's not okay when other people do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982671 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 16:02:53 +0000 mediagirl 1982671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We try not to ever talk negatively about each other's family. It can go a step too far and cause tension...okay, fine. Arguments. Big ones. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-it-bother-you-when-other-people-complain-about-your-family#post-1982668 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 15:58:24 +0000 pui 1982668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's more how my DH complains... I totally agree with his assessment of some of my family, but his solution is we should just stop seeing them. :\ He doesn't seem to get that they're still my family even if they can be sucky people. </p>