https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 21:40:06 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-so-help-with-night-parenting#post-149130 Sat, 05 May 2012 11:07:09 +0000 His Barista 149130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry! When dh was in paternity leave for 6 weeks he was a great help. Now he works grave yards and sleeps during the day. So I know how you feel. He tries to help on his nights off but usually she is in bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-so-help-with-night-parenting#post-149111 Sat, 05 May 2012 10:03:42 +0000 heffalump 149111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coco Bee: I can't nap during the day. When LO was a newborn she would sleep in my arms, a now that she's older I still don't like to because I'm such a heavy sleeper, I'm scared I won't wake up when she cries. And then I just sit there worrying so I can't sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-so-help-with-night-parenting#post-149108 Sat, 05 May 2012 09:59:29 +0000 autumnlove 149108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, he took care of night parenting unless he was working really early at 6am. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-so-help-with-night-parenting#post-149091 Sat, 05 May 2012 09:41:40 +0000 Mrs. Pen 149091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: yeah, but it would be a lot easier for me to nap with LO during the day if I was THAT tired. Since LO sleeps with us, he actually sleeps really well most nights and I usually never need help because he is half-asleep through feedings and nods right back off to sleep after nursing. So it's been a good system. But a 1-2x a week, he'll wake up between 6am-7am for feeding, and be soaking wet or spitting up so much he wakes himself up fully. And he normally sleeps until 8:30-9am, so I know he's still tired. those mornings I can handle, unless he woke up 4+ times to nurse that night, which has been happening a lot recently - I think he might be going through a growth spurt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-so-help-with-night-parenting#post-149071 Sat, 05 May 2012 09:27:53 +0000 heffalump 149071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be upset too! First of all, you're an awesome wife for doing all the work during the week. Just because you don't have a paying job to go to doesn't mean you don't also need sleep. You're spending the day taking care of a newborn, you need to be alert! </p> <p>I have a kind of different situation because I get migraines, so I do NEED my sleep. If I don't get sleep, I have a migraine and that's not good for anybody because then DH would have to stay home from work. So he's very good about middle of the night and early morning wake ups. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-so-help-with-night-parenting#post-149063 Sat, 05 May 2012 09:12:02 +0000 Mrs. Pen 149063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: we are both night owls unfortunately. But we never have any night issues. LO goes to bed at 8pm, wakes up twice during the night to nurse and goes right back to sleep.</p> <p>@Rubies: @MsMamaBear: To be fair, he works 12 HR days. So he works 10am-10pm and he's a professor so he spends a lot of time talking so I know he's tired and appreciates sleep. But he's kind of a sleep whore lol not even kidding. He complains when he doesn't get 8-9 hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-so-help-with-night-parenting#post-149020 Sat, 05 May 2012 08:05:13 +0000 mrbee 149020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I learned that for me, early in the morning wasn't always the optimal time for these conversations. I often reacted similarly to your SO, just because I wasn't thinking clearly so early in the morning. Is it possible for you guys to coordinate who has early mornings ahead of time, during the day?</p> <p>Also, is it possible that your SO is a night owl? If so, he may be better suited to night wakeups than to an early morning wakeup... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-so-help-with-night-parenting#post-149015 Sat, 05 May 2012 08:01:08 +0000 looch 149015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, and that's why we also go to bed super early. I can't remember the last time I stayed up super late just because. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-so-help-with-night-parenting#post-149013 Sat, 05 May 2012 07:58:54 +0000 Rubies 149013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coco Bee: Work at 10am?? Yikes. Hubs gets a little sympathy because he wakes up at 6:30am for work. :( I also agree with @enjollah: you need to have a talk with him so resentment doesn't build. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-so-help-with-night-parenting#post-149009 Sat, 05 May 2012 07:48:26 +0000 MsMamaBear 149009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He needs to get it together. Work at 10am?? I let my SO sleep sometimes but he gets up at 4am. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-so-help-with-night-parenting#post-149006 Sat, 05 May 2012 07:42:33 +0000 Mrs. Pen 149006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: yeah i've always been pretty clear about what I need. Today, I asked him to change and rock LO. So it' not like he doesn't know what I want.<br /> @Rubies: I honestly don't have that much sympathy because during the week DH doesn't start work til 10am. So most days he sleeps til 9am. That is way sleeping in for almost anyone. So I don't feel sorry for him getting up at 6:30 once a week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-so-help-with-night-parenting#post-149003 Sat, 05 May 2012 07:38:29 +0000 looch 149003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He helps a lot, even though he is employed outside of the home and I am at home. We kind of trade off, I don't know how to explain it more than that. This morning for example, I slept in and he was up with LO at 6 am. Now, they're both taking a nap.</p> <p>I had to tell him what I needed, I stopped trying to get him to mind read! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-so-help-with-night-parenting#post-149001 Sat, 05 May 2012 07:33:33 +0000 enjollah 149001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aw coco bee! I totally know how you feel... I do almost all the night parenting responsibilities because DH works. He was totally helpful the first 5 weeks when he took leave to help out but after he went back to work, i just let him sleep. I sometimes get frustrated too but make sure at some time you communicate with DH your frustrations and feelings. The last thing you would want is to have bottled up feelings or resentment. *hug* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-so-help-with-night-parenting#post-148997 Sat, 05 May 2012 07:28:35 +0000 Rubies 148997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I went through this with hubs as well and I think the bottom line is that my husband (and maybe yours, too) just doesn't know how tiring it is and for him to get up at 6:30 on a Saturday morning seems awful but to us, it's a normal occurrence. Finally, my husband got the clue when I just told him, "Listen, I know you're tired but I've been tired since LO was born. I just need some help on the days you're here with us."</p> <p>*hugs* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-so-help-with-night-parenting#post-148996 Sat, 05 May 2012 07:27:15 +0000 MamaMoose 148996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hubs will help me at night if he values his life! I agree that the way your husband acted is not ok. You had a baby TOGETHER so the responsibility of caring for that baby should be taken on TOGETHER. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-so-help-with-night-parenting#post-148995 Sat, 05 May 2012 07:23:27 +0000 Mrs. Pen 148995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel a fight coming on, and right now I'm so emotional about it.<br /> The first month, the MR was great about helping at night. When I got up to feed LO he would get me water or a snack and often took LO nights he didn't sleep so I could get a few hours sleep. I felt so blessed and a lucky new mama to have such a supportive husband.</p> <p>LO is 10 weeks now and tonight did not go well. </p> <p>During the week I never wake DH up to help me since he works and i'm home with LO. But on weekends I ask him to help in hopes of me catching up on some zzz's.</p> <p>Last night he had made a joke about sleeping while he could cause he knew he'd be up at 7 with the baby. But LO normally sleeps til 9am now so I said he probably wouldn't.</p> <p>Well at 6am LO woke for a feeding, after I fed him he spit up continuously all over. I asked DH to change him an put him back to sleep. He griped and complained and acted so hostile to me. I told him he could have just said no, and he started complaining how 6:30am is sooo early. So I got upset and said I would put him back to sleep myself. I started rocking LO and DH followed me downstairs, told him to go back to bed and he said, "well now I'm awake."</p> <p>Ugh i'm just so mad. I told him that during the week I'm the 24/7 parent, I get up multiple times a night. I feed LO, sometimes change him and put him back to bed. I haven't slept more than 4 consecutive hours since I was pregnant. All I ask is an hour break on the weekends and he can't give up his precious sleep. DH is usually so giving I never thought i'd feel alone as a parent. I'm just so frustrated with him.</p> <p>And maybe I'm over reacting but it just really upset me.I am not talking to him right now but later this morning I'm sure he'll be knowing what I feel. </p>