https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 21 May 2026 19:08:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-556890 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 14:00:18 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 556890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@katiew92081: yes!!! This is what it is. These characters on TV who are super naggy and treat their husbands like dumbasses. I think she is doing this. Not a good look for her!<br /> @HLK208: I have asked, I say "if it's so bad why are you staying?" And she says he's great, she loves him, blabla... She doesn't mean what she says I don't think. I am assuming she is just seeking or needing something in life that she isn't getting. Instead of being happy with what she has, she is harping on what she doesn't have! And she sees my husband and the way he is and she thinks to herself 'too good to be true'...even though her husband is a great guy. I think she just doesn't see it because she only wants more more more!<br /> And it's hard to be real with her about my marriage because every time I vent to her, instead of comforting me, she turns it into a bash fest of my husband. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554307 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 15:27:46 +0000 Dandelion 554307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That would bother me, too. I don't like to see women making their husbands look like losers. I hate tv shows that portray it, too, like Everybody Loves Raymond and King of Queens. There's not much partnership in those kind of relationships and it's like poison.</p> <p>I would totally be sticking up for my husband. He works HARD so that we have a nice home and our children have everything they need. He does SO much while I stay home, and I wouldn't ever say he didn't do enough.</p> <p>Sounds like this girl is just unhappy, for some reason. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554306 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 15:27:42 +0000 MrsH 554306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That makes me sad :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554271 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 15:10:27 +0000 tororojo 554271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yah, that's super inappropriate and I think it's weird when people act like they know your spouse better than you do-- "just wait/that's how it starts..." That's how all the guys I used to work with talk about their wives and I think it's weird that they have a club devoted to bitching and generalizing about women. I think that's why DH doesn't fit in with the guys at work...(because I'm too amazing? haha) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554255 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 15:00:33 +0000 Maysprout 554255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've noticed some women try to bond by gossiping/complaining or ganging up on someone else. I don't really get it, the only thing I do is change the subject. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554162 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 14:26:57 +0000 rachiecakes 554162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: same! I had a friend who I later found was in therapy and ultimately got divorced. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554149 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 14:20:52 +0000 MsLipGloss 554149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@TurtleDoves: As they say, misery loves company . . . I think she just is looking for a *wing man* so to speak. Sad. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554142 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 14:17:41 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 554142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am torn. On one hand, I have definitely been in the situation where a couple made things totally awkward by not getting along. But then I found out that couple was actually going through therapy. Maybe it is a "cry for help?" I know when Scrib was born it was a rough transition for me and my DH (as it is for everyone!) and I've sent frustrated texts to friends about stuff it felt like he just didn't understand (because I was at home and he was not-- certain routines or behaviors on LOs part were totally foreign to him, and babies change so often that he would be at work for a week and everything would be different by the weekend!). Maybe she thinks y'all are closer than you actually are, or just really needs someone to talk to? I would say that inferring stuff about your relationship is definitely crossing a line. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554141 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 14:17:13 +0000 LittleGBee 554141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sad face. </p> <p>I'm all for having a good friend who can share in BOTH the joys and trials of a marriage relationship, but if the Husband-Man and I have a problem with each other, we agreed to talk about it together first, and then ask each other permission to share with a select close friend. We don't bad-mouth each other to our friends, but we do attempt to be real about our struggles. </p> <p>It sucks that she feels the need to dominate these conversations with negative thoughts about her husband, and it's hard to say without knowing her in other aspects, but is she similarly negative about her children, friends, etc, or just her spouse? If I were close enough to her I would probably mention how unhappy she sounds, but only if she were a close friend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554139 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 14:16:28 +0000 HLK208 554139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's really odd that it's ALL negative :( and even weirder that she believes all men are terrible!</p> <p>Usually if I'm talking with a close friend I'll tell them mostly good but maybe one or two problems we have (not big or personal problems) but I'll be real. Are you close enough to ask her if she wants out of her marriage if she's that unhappy? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554129 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 14:13:24 +0000 lemondrop 554129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I can relate- one couple we tend to avoid hanging out with because the wife is very much how you described. I used to work with the husband and are good friends, but she it's constantly bashing her husband and expects me to play along. She always gets mad when I don't participate and change the subject. I'm fine with venting, but everything that comes out of her mouth is negative. </p> <p>My husband and I were taking about it the other night, it feels like we are witnessing the beginning of a divorce. I feel bad avoiding her, and want to be a supportive friend, but I have limited free time, and hate spending it with someone who absolutely drains me.</p> <p>@SweetMamaM: Haha, I love the teacher eyes. That look used to terrify me, now I love using it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554116 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 14:06:22 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 554116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: WOW. Wow. wow...we're all adults here? Who asks if they are allowed to have a cookie? Hahaha...bizarre!<br /> @SweetMamaM: I do say things...just very vaguely because I don't even like giving her the satisfaction. I'll be like, "nah..he's OK; if i'm not complaining about my husband, then you sure shouldn't be" or something like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554114 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 14:05:07 +0000 heartonastring 554114@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like she's very unhappy :(</p> <p>In general, I have a big problem with women who demonize all men/making sweeping, demoralizing comments about men. It's not fair and it's inaccurate. </p> <p>I have a friend who is the worst nag I've ever seen to her husband who is generally a kind, easy-going guy. She's brought up her nagging with me before and asked how I avoid nagging my DH. I've told her that I chose to marry DH because I love him, respect him and see him as my equal, not as a lesser person who needs to be kept in check. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554104 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 13:56:31 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 554104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's very sad. Unfortunately, I can relate because DH and I have a friend who's girlfriend is the same way. She controls everything he does and won't let him go out with his friends anymore. She tells me I'm too "loose" with my husband and I need to keep him on a leash. Well, she used to... I finally had to say something to her because I couldn't stand the way she was treating my friend (her boyfriend) and I was tired of her trying to tell me how to treat my husband. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554097 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 13:53:38 +0000 eeh 554097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How sad. We used to be friends with a couple that would constantly fight in front of us, in public. It was so awkward. The wife was so demeaning and rude and never had a nice thing to say about her husband. We stopped socializing with them because we feel like it is important that we don't let that type of attitude creep into our marriage. We noticed we argued more when we were around them. </p> <p>My advice is to limit your time with her. I'm not saying you need to turn your back on her when she's depressed and needs a friend but if she starts belittling your husband I think you should abruptly tell her you aren't comfortable with it and leave or end the conversation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554089 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 13:49:13 +0000 mrs. wagon 554089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a friend who constantly yells at her husband in front of me. Even if he reaches for a second cookie she yells his name and yanks his hand away. (He is not overweight at all. She just likes to yell at people.) I feel so bad for him and so embarrassed for them both. But that's just her personality. And I know she's happy in her relationship. I think some people are just like that.</p> <p>I was kind of similar (really overbearing, criticizing Wagon Sr. front of others) until WS brought it up a few years into our marriage. At first I got really upset (he knew that about me when he married me, he should accept that's the way I am! I'm not going to change my personality NOW!) but I quickly realized that what he was asking was not unreasonable, and a change like that would make me a better wife and overall a better person. Ever since then our relationship has been totally different. For a stubborn person like me, it was tough to change at first, but it's easy now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554080 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 13:45:59 +0000 SweetMamaM 554080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It makes me sad to hear about the way she talks about her husband. For the most part, we only try to build each other up to other people; they don't need to know our faults.<br /> If it were me, next time she told me I should keep my husband in check, I'd give her a cold look and say "I'm sorry? I don't feel the need to. He does his best" and then I'd smile and change the subject. I am a teacher though, so I have highly effective "teacher eyes" that tend to work on adults too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554059 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 13:37:52 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 554059@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The badgering in front of me would make me uncomfortable. In fact my husband and I playfully chide each other when we have an audience. Now I realize my mom makes some not so accurate conclusions about him/us, so chiding will cease.</p> <p>If you want her stop or at least be aware.of her tone just bring it up the moment she starts in on him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554035 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 13:23:07 +0000 mediagirl 554035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, that would make me uncomfortable and would probably make me shy away from this friend more often than not. I (being someone who always stands up for my husband when people say things that may be construed as knocking them) would probably tell her to back off when she says these things. It's not nice, at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554027 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 13:19:50 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 554027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: I can't say that the relationship is bad...it's more just her? Low self-esteem maybe? She has always been competitive. I think she sees that I am happy and with a baby now...and SAHM. And she isn't, by choice. Mind you she has said so many times, "I'd rather wait and have a career than just have kids and stay home" so many times. But, I feel she's envious. I don't know what to think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554022 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 13:17:36 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 554022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sad for her! Either because she doesn't realize she is doing a disservice to the person that she loves or because she's in such an unhappy relationship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554019 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 13:16:26 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 554019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlek: I know, right :( I like to see the positive, and emphasis the days he *does* make it to bath time. She reverses it and only sees the bad.</p> <p> @Modern Daisy: Me too, I like to vent like any other person. But not every.single.conversation. And to try to turn someone against their husband? So inappropriate.</p> <p>@rachiecakes: DH says the same. He said I should recommend counseling because she seems depressed. I just don't know if I feel comfortable with that. But she does seem like she's just not happy (with herself). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554015 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 13:14:10 +0000 rachiecakes 554015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That would rub me the wrong way, too.<br /> She seems unhappy in her relationship and that's just sad. I feel like when people say things like that it's so they don't feel so alone in their situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-554005 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 13:11:08 +0000 Modern Daisy 554005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm fine with the venting of frustrations when it's an occasional thing to blow off steam, but if all I heard out of a friend's mouth were negative things about her DH, I would feel uncomfortable around her. Especially if she started to project her own situation into mine, insinuating that my marriage wasn't as good as I claimed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-553991 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 13:08:11 +0000 littlek 553991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Her response is really biased. "Keep your husband in check." That's ridiculous, DH often ends up missing LOs bath time because his crazy work schedule not because he wants to. I think that is an insensitive response because she doesn't fully know why your husband is coming home late. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-this-make-your-extremely-uncomfortable#post-553982 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 13:04:54 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 553982@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Kind of sick of this situation:<br /> My friend (she's close but not best friend) always badgers her husband in front of me and behind his back.<br /> And now she gets to the point that she doesn't "believe" me when I say nice things about my own husband.<br /> I'll say, "DH rushes home from work to do bath time because it breaks his heart to come home to LO already asleep."<br /> and she'll say, "Oh well, maybe if they'd (men in general) come home from work at a decent hour, they could actually see their kids for more than a few minutes!"<br /> And she'll always say things like, "Yep, that's how it starts..." and "Better keep him in check.." Um, keep my husband in check?<br /> She only refers to her husband as, "That man!" (with the eye roll). </p> <p>And it's like, ok lady, just because you seem to hate your husband doesn't mean you need to turn me against mine.<br /> When I do have issue with DH, I tell DH, not the whole world. And I would never try to put negative thoughts into another woman's head about *her* husband.</p> <p>*Mind you: her husband seems like a great guy and her complaints are that of any other wife's on earth, however it is just the disrespectful and inconsiderate way she says it so freely and frequently that rubs me the wrong way. </p>