https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 03 May 2026 01:14:53 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-780087 Tue, 14 May 2013 09:30:11 +0000 Alivoo01 780087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kjpugs: LOL!!! That'd be hilarious. Watch his reaction be like, oh, guess we're not going then or we'll find a place when we get there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779948 Tue, 14 May 2013 08:41:51 +0000 kjpugs 779948@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alivoo01: the funny part is his mom is just as lazy, kicked him out in HS, and he doesn't particularly care for her! He's just LAZZZZZZZZZYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! haha! This is totally motivating me to keep plans to myself and then if he asks, act shocked that he didn't handle it! It is *HIS* brother's wedding! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779946 Tue, 14 May 2013 08:41:17 +0000 blackbird 779946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some stuff....like i do handle her dr appts and make sure we have the baby stuff we need (like i buy more bibs if we need them, make sure we have formula, etc) but if we're going somewhere, he'll pack his diaper bag and get the milk together, dress her, and stuff like that without expecting me to do it. He's good about checking in with me if things need to be done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779945 Tue, 14 May 2013 08:41:11 +0000 prettylizy 779945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some things yes, some things no. If I didn't wash our bedsheets they would never EVER get washed. He's not big on laundry or sweeping the floors. When it comes to LO he is pretty hands on. I mostly lay out outfits for her because he's not the greatest at picking things like that out but he is a champ when it comes to stuff like getting her meals, packing the diaper bag etc. He even has his own diaper bag now and he loves to keep it stocked up so that he can just grab it and go when we're in a hurry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779926 Tue, 14 May 2013 08:38:18 +0000 Alivoo01 779926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kjpugs: Momma's boys I tell ya! Sad part is, if we DON'T do it ourselves, they're totally content with not having it done at all. Really????? haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779924 Tue, 14 May 2013 08:38:06 +0000 Weagle 779924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For stuff like paperwork and feeding, yes. I do all of that. But, he's pretty good about getting her in the mornings, remembering to change diapers, double checking the diaper bag. Probably because he knows I'm forgetful :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779895 Tue, 14 May 2013 08:32:38 +0000 oliviaoblivia 779895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah. If I didn't plan things they wouldn't happen. From LO and her stuff, to gifts for his family, vacations, travel, everything.<br /> I do all the research and then he says "ok" sometimes it doesn't bother me because it means I pretty much get to do what I want, but I would really like to have his input. And I HATE buying gifts for his mom. </p> <p>We went to his mom's for Mother's Day and he made absolutely no arrangements and then got frustrated that we were leaving later than he wanted because I was packing for LO and then had to nurse her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779891 Tue, 14 May 2013 08:31:12 +0000 mrsjyw 779891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>YEP-- 99% of things related to baby (and other things!! :P) he assumes I am taking care of! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779853 Tue, 14 May 2013 08:21:07 +0000 kjpugs 779853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alivoo01: It's even BEYOND that for me... for example, we have his brother's wedding this summer. He only found out the date to take off work (I ASSUME at least, I sometimes have to make him do that). No mention of how we'd afford tickets, no mention of where we'd stay, or our dogs, NOTHING. If I didn't handle it and didn't mention it (which he'd enjoy) he'd NEVER even think about it. He is just used to not having to do anything! If I do mention it ("Oh I booked the hotel for Steve's wedding." "How much?" "$150 plus tax" "(sucking in noise) That's steep." UMMMMMMMM I'M THE ONE WHO MANAGES FINANCES!?!?!) I need to play a big joke on him with it somehow. Just to open his eyes. His only focus is work and his garden. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779843 Tue, 14 May 2013 08:17:07 +0000 Alivoo01 779843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kjpugs: Amen sister!! I manage our finances which I don't mind because I like having oversight on it, but everything else is on me too! Like he'll help pick the location for vacation, but it's up to me to find and book flights, hotel, car, activities, etc. Really?! Likewise for everything else. I forsee this carrying over when LO arrives also. Hopefully, he'll be more involved with LO's stuff. Guess we'll see! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779802 Tue, 14 May 2013 07:58:40 +0000 mamimami 779802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For sure, but I enable that behavior. I also assume he'll take care of certain non-baby things like our taxes, paying credit card bills, etc. I think it pretty much evens out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779795 Tue, 14 May 2013 07:55:30 +0000 mediagirl 779795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally and I'm okay with it. I'm the one who makes the decisions about our lo so, I make sure stuff about her is taken care of. He may check with me to see if these things are done but it's on me. I make her bottles and lunches and snacks each day, I pack her daycare bag, I pack the diaper bag when we go out (unless he has her, when he asks me what should go in it). I make her doctor's appointments. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779788 Tue, 14 May 2013 07:53:06 +0000 kjpugs 779788@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our LO isn't here yet, but I see this already. DH used to be really on top of stuff when he worked in sales but since he changed careers and is a chef, he doesn't have the time to manage stuff. I took over our finances (and we're WAY better off for it). I've noticed lately that all travel plans, gifts for family, hotel reservations, DOG BOARDING, everything is on me. I think I'm going to pretend I didn't take care of our dog boarding for our trip in July and just be like "what? I was supposed to handle it? I thought YOU were!?" and then maybe see if he realizes how (@#*$&amp;#*( lazy he is? I get that he doesn't have time to always do these things (he's either working or sleeping during the time of day that stuff usually happens!) but how about being aware or asking me if it's handled or how he can help. He just assumes I've got it. I'm interested to know how any of you break your hubbies of this... I'm honestly quite sick of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779700 Tue, 14 May 2013 06:54:15 +0000 hilsy85 779700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh yes. He has told me flat out that he assumes that I am doing everything (like giving him his vitamin drops, making sure we have enough diapers, scheduling appointments, doing his laundry, and keeping track of his schedule, just to name a few things!) unless I tell him otherwise. I SAH with LO though, so I guess it is my "job" most of the time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779699 Tue, 14 May 2013 06:51:37 +0000 Honeybee 779699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We switch off. DH takes care of things like bills and paperwork, and I take care of making appointments and ordering stuff/shopping. When it comes to getting ready, he's just as likely to pack the diaper bag and get the kids ready as I am. We're pretty equal about childcare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779692 Tue, 14 May 2013 06:46:25 +0000 MrsF 779692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If we're both home, DH sort of assumes I'll either do everything to get us ready and out the door or that I'll give him specific assignments. Last weekend we were going for a day trip and he was totally fine just assuming that everything was stocked in the diaper bag from the babysitter's the day before, even though some things were dirty, used up, etc. I repacked and when we were halfway there he asked me if I had brought any formula. Um....yes. </p> <p>That being said, if I am working a weekend or an overnight he takes care of LO and I haven't heard of any major catastrophes or forgetting the bottles or anything. They manage! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779691 Tue, 14 May 2013 06:45:32 +0000 T.H.O.U. 779691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes! It helps if I give him the choice of chores to do. </p> <p>For example, for some reason it is assumed that I will drop LO off at daycare even though we leave at the same time and its the same distance for both of us. He also likes to give me grief for never getting gas in my car. So last night, I told him he either needed to go get gas in my car, or take LO to daycare in the morning so I could get gas. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779670 Tue, 14 May 2013 06:21:05 +0000 heffalump 779670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. I've always taken care of the diaper bag, I'm last to eat because I have to get lo ready first, etc. I've mentioned this and he asked if it bothered me. It really doesn't.... If I'm starving or need to eat because I have a headache I tell him and he does it. At 21 months old our roles and routines are set.</p> <p>that being said, he's perfectly capable of doing these things. I get migraines so sometimes he's on his own with lo, and they manage. It took him some practice with the diaper bag.... I think once he just assumed there were always diapers in there. But now it's no problem for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779661 Tue, 14 May 2013 06:16:33 +0000 Smurfette 779661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes!! I feel like I do everything unless I ask him to check for diapers and wipes in the bag. Then he will do it but only if I ask so annoying. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779656 Tue, 14 May 2013 06:06:40 +0000 cheert16 779656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crumbs: this!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779651 Tue, 14 May 2013 06:00:37 +0000 SugarplumsMom 779651@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When we go out, I'll double-check her diaper bag, pack extra clothes, make sure she has snacks and food, I have to tell him to change her diaper and give him the clothes she's going to wear that day. He takes 5 seconds to get ready and reading "news" online while I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to remember everything while I'm getting ready myself. </p> <p>Next time we go somewhere, I'm just not going to do it. I'm gonna allow us to leave and see if he remembers what we need. But something tells me it's gonna backfire - it'll be the day she doesn't need any of it and he'll think I completely overpack. Sorry for the novel. End of rant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779642 Tue, 14 May 2013 05:22:10 +0000 Koolbreeze 779642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When DS1 was a baby, yes! I did pretty much all of it. I think part of it was being a nervous first time dad, what if he forgot something, did something wrong, etc.. Now he forgets a lot but he does try more without me having to ask/tell him to do something. And if I try to help he tells me to go away and leave him alone LOL </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-dh-assume-youll-handle-stuff#post-779634 Tue, 14 May 2013 04:38:35 +0000 lomom 779634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO has an appt this morning and we were supposed to fill out the paperwork before we get to the office. DH saw the packet of info and knew we were supposed to do it, but never touched it. Lol he just assumes I'll do it. </p> <p>Just like he assumes I'll pack the diaper bag, wake up with LO, etc. Sometimes we're both in the middle of something when LO cries and he always just assumes I'll take care of LO. </p> <p>I was kind of thinking to myself, as I packed the diaper bag, how he'd manage if he had to take care of those sorts of tasks. I occasionally travel for work and he says he could manage while I'm gone...</p> <p>Does your DH assume you're handling LO-related stuff? </p>