https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 25 Jun 2026 01:05:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-21971 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 20:03:50 +0000 MsMamaBear 21971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Baby Bear does this, she'll be 3 months next week! even my SO has to give her to me when she gets in a crying fit. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-18729 Sun, 20 Nov 2011 05:48:25 +0000 Andrea 18729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Ek: I mentioned this to a teacher at day care the other day and she said it is normal but maybe because her kids (twins) are still like this and they are 3. So I thought oh boy, maybe this isn't a phase or will be a super long phase! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-18610 Sat, 19 Nov 2011 21:44:38 +0000 Mama Ek 18610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 15 month old son is a lot like this. It is impossible for me to get anything done. I just tell myself it is okay because it is a phase but don't want to be an enabler also.</p> <p>He goes to daycare too and has been since 6 months old so he is fine with drop offs. </p> <p>Even when we are out I am the only one that can carry him if I am in the room. He is fine when I'm not there. Out of sight out of mind I guess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-14449 Sat, 12 Nov 2011 06:07:34 +0000 Andrea 14449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mr. Bee - she is 18 months so can't be contained in a swing! I am only wanting to leave the room for a minute to say, get a glass of water....</p> <p>Since she can walk, she just follows me no matter what I do. Hmmmm....perhaps I should have done this earlier before she could walk! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-14407 Sat, 12 Nov 2011 00:29:10 +0000 Red 14407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: Don't be silly, nothing to say sorry about. I wasn't referring to anyone's post specifically. I was just commenting about sneaking out in general. </p> <p>BTW, exposure therapy seems like a nice gentle way to ease separation anxiety. Unfortunately for my LO, I'm a "rip the band-aid off quickly" kinda gal. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-14399 Sat, 12 Nov 2011 00:21:13 +0000 mrbee 14399@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Red: Ah sorry if I gave the impression that I advocated sneaking out of the room! The thought to the exposure therapy was to start off by talking to the baby the whole time... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-14389 Sat, 12 Nov 2011 00:13:49 +0000 Red 14389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not so keen on sneaking out of the room 'cause I think it teaches them that they need to constantly watch you to make sure you're around. Whenever I leave her in our gated living room, I always say the same phrase ("I'll be right back") and I say it with a smile so she knows it's not a bad thing. She's usually fine with it but 30% of the time, she'll cry/whine/shake the gate after I've left but only for about 1 minute tops. </p> <p>She'll also sometimes go through clingy phases when she's extra needy but I think through repetition, she knows that it's not worth her time to cry or whine too much. I'm a mean mommy, lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-14346 Fri, 11 Nov 2011 21:45:48 +0000 mrbee 14346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea - Is your interim goal to be able to grab a shower for a few minutes, while she's safely in her swing?</p> <p>If so, maybe you could put her in her swing and then try going around the corner for a few seconds (while you talk to her). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-14344 Fri, 11 Nov 2011 21:37:38 +0000 Andrea 14344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mr Bee - So I was home with the LO today since day care was closed. She doesn't care if she can't see me when we are in the same room because she knows I am there. So I skipped to the step where you go around the corner. She followed me around the corner every single time. Um, now what? LOL. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-13529 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 18:15:21 +0000 yin 13529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Currently my LO won't allow me to be out of his sight when we leave the house. Usually I will sit in the back with him when we go out as a family. When I run errands with him, he hates being back there by himself. He will cry bloody murder, and I often find myself driving back home. Yesterday we walked to the park, and I had to walk right next to the stroller or else he would start crying. :( It is getting more difficult. Sounds like mommyitis to me. We might need to try exposure therapy if I want to ever leave the house with him and not have a sobbing child to tend to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-13360 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 13:15:12 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 13360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mavrick has moments. Sometimes he doesn't mind me being away (but thats because we have an open house concept) but when he does cry, he goes gets his binky and grabs anything remotely soft (blanket, pants etc) and carries it. Cries until he can reach me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-13359 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 13:10:50 +0000 heffalump 13359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My baby is only 3 months and already screams sometimes when I leave the room :( Not all the time thank goodness.</p> <p>I didn't believe my hubby the first time he told me that she followed me with her eyes when I left the room and started screaming. I thought she was way too young for that. But sure enough right when I came back she was fine. She's very attached to her mommy and daddy, especially mommy. And she's so young, I'm not looking forward to what happens as she gets older!</p> <p>Glad I can come here to get some good advice! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-13232 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 09:48:34 +0000 mrbee 13232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha Charlie is like that if we go to the bathroom without him! He's definitely gotten better over time though... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-13231 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 09:45:51 +0000 Andrea 13231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter has some fierce radar I guess. She can seem completely absorbed, has her back turned to me, but as soon as I make a move to inch out of the room she is all over me. I mean all I want to do is go get a glass of water or something! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-13224 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 09:39:17 +0000 mrbee 13224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ah ok. Our main focus has been preventing sobbing sessions when we separate from him!</p> <p>At home, we mostly let him follow us around. If I have to take a shower and Mrs. Bee is busy, I will bring him in the shower with me (which he loves!).</p> <p>He does have a few toys or books that absorb him for a long time. So he'll get wrapped up in that, and won't notice or care if we leave the room. In a way, he's started to wean himself off of his parents himself, which has been nice! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-13214 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 09:29:39 +0000 Andrea 13214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mr. Bee - I see, she doesn't have an issue with interchange as long as it's a familiar face. It's just that who ever is watching her can't leave the room at all. So I guess we need to try the exposure therapy.</p> <p>She doesn't usually cry when being dropped off at day care so maybe we have trained her in that scenario but haven't really trained her at home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-13201 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 09:20:59 +0000 mrbee 13201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea - Charlie's separation anxiety was probably worst when I was not spending much time with him. Once I started spending a lot of time with him, then he got a lot more comfortable with having an interchangeable caregiver.</p> <p>His separation anxiety came back when we started dropping him off at daycare. We stayed with him for 5-10 minutes each day, until he started to get distracted by toys and by his other friends. Then we would say goodbye and slip out.</p> <p>Sometimes he would really cry and sob though. That only lasted a week or so though, and then became intermittent. So I guess for daycare, we used flooding therapy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-13178 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 08:10:03 +0000 looch 13178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't use a lovey either, I tried but he's not into it.</p> <p>I guess I have to start like with the sleep training too! More fun times ahead! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-13177 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 08:09:12 +0000 Andrea 13177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No lovey, I don't want her to carry one around. I always think those things end up looking so raggedy.</p> <p>This exposure therapy sounds good...like sleep training! Oh boy, is this what I am going to be doing with my weekends?</p> <p>Thank you sooooo much Mr. Bee! Does Charlie not have separation anxiety anymore? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-13175 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 08:02:24 +0000 mrbee 13175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like pretty classic separation anxiety, aka mommyitis. :-(</p> <p>My first thought: do your kids have a lovey? I've heard that if a toddler has a lovey, that can help with separation anxiety. I don't have experience with that one though...</p> <p>I've wrestled a lot with anxiety myself, and Charlie has struggled with this at times. I did a bunch of research and a lot of the stuff I've seen recommends various forms of exposure therapy:<br /> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exposure_therapy" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exposure_therapy</a></p> <p>That's where you create a list of things that might create separation anxiety in your child. Then you slowly start to expose your child to the most innocuous things on your list (this list is called a ladder). So like, for example here's a sample list</p> <p>1. Be in the same room as the baby, but she can't see you for 5 seconds<br /> 2. Be in the same room as the baby, but she can't see you for 10 seconds<br /> 3. Be in the same room as the baby, but she can't see you for 20 seconds<br /> 4. Be right around the corner from the baby, but she can't see you for 10 seconds (you can talk to her though).<br /> ...<br /> 7. Be in the next room from the baby, but you don't talk to her for 5 seconds.</p> <p>The idea behind exposure therapy is to try each step on the "ladder" until it no longer generates fear/anxiety. So you might start by being in the same room as the baby, but then you tell your baby you are going to be gone for just a bit, hide for 5 seconds and then soothe the baby to let them know that everything is ok. Then you keep doing that until she's completely ok with it. Then you move onto the next rung of the ladder (maybe that's 10 seconds of hiding).</p> <p>Another approach is to go straight to completely leaving the room or house. This is called flooding, and a lot of parents use it:<br /> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flooding_(psychology)" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flooding_(psychology)</a></p> <p>Flooding is actually pretty similar to "crying it out", in some ways. However, I wouldn't recommend starting with flooding because it feels like there are so many other options to get started with separation anxiety treatment.</p> <p>GOOD LUCK!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-13171 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 07:31:48 +0000 Andrea 13171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Looch - Hopefully someone will have some good advice for us! </p> <p>I've tried to explain to her that mommy will be back in a minute, but my daughter says "no" and comes with me. Lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-13167 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 06:58:13 +0000 looch 13167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd love to know how to handle this as well! He's fine playing by himself if I am there, but the moment I walk out (even if his back is turned), he is a man on the move to find me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-allow-you-to-leave-the-room#post-13162 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 06:40:35 +0000 Andrea 13162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter always cries as soon as she sees me turning to leave the room. She's been like this since birth so I've always been jealous of moms who said they could grab a quick shower while leaving their babies in a safe place like their swing. My daughter is 18 months now and I can kind of get away with leaving the room for a minute but only if the TV is on and she is distracted. Otherwise, she will always cry. Should I be trying harder to teach my LO that it's OK to be left alone for a minute or should I just wait for her to outgrow this? </p> <p>Also, for more background, she goes to day care so she knows that when parents leave they do come back! However, she doesn't seem to get this when we are at home. </p>