https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 23:10:17 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384697 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 17:30:23 +0000 Alivoo01 384697@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Pageants give off a bad precedence that it is based solely on beauty/looks. I competed in pageants when I had braces and I cringed at the thought because no one else had them. It was to my understanding that beauty does not include braces!! Well I competed anyway, and on my score sheet, the judges would tell me I had a beautiful smile and to keep on showing off my smile. I've even won some photogenic trophies with my braces! Crazy talk huh?</p> <p>Not sure how the scoring is tabulated now days, but from my experience, your beauty score isn't solely based on beauty. It was tied in with your modeling skill and interview score. Your interview score was based on personality, how you presented yourself, and how you responded to their questions. So while you can be drop dead gorgeous, but you "flunk" your interview portion, you wouldn't win the beauty title. I've heard numerous complaints from parents where they didn't understand how their child lost when they were by far the most made up/beautiful of their age group. The directors would show them on the score sheet that their interview score or their modeling score wasn't as strong as their competitors which cost them the title. Even if you're really young in age, you still participate in interviews. They just ask simpler questions like what's your favorite color, what do you want to be when you grow up, who's your best friend, etc.</p> <p>As for practice, dedication, etc., if y'all watch Toddlers and Tiaras, you'll notice there are different categories of competition. In each category, a different type of modeling routine is needed. That takes some major concentration and memorization skills to keep the routines separate and to remember all your steps! It's like making sure you don't mix up your jazz and tap dance routines! They share similar dance steps, but the routines are completely different based on music and choreography. </p> <p>I agree with @Crumbs: comment in that "<i>...I think it's not the actual pagents that do the damage -- it's the parents that allow it to be. "</i> Parenting has a lot to do with how you handle how your child reacts to being in the pageant through crowning regardless if they win or they don't. If they see that pageants are not a good form of extra curricular activity for their child, then they shouldn't continue. Unfortunately, a lot of mom's continue pushing their child to compete in pageants because they are living vicariously through their child. That's where things start turning sour and hello celebrity on Toddlers and Tiaras. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384646 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 17:06:22 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 384646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think age 8-16 is far different from toddler pagents. I feel that the use of makeup and glam dresses unnecessarily sexualize toddlers and young school age children in a way that is not healthy for their perceptions of themselves or others' perceptions of them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384634 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 17:01:48 +0000 SugarplumsMom 384634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alivoo01: I totally agree with you about dance competitions! My cousin is and was really into those and I've seen it for myself.</p> <p>@Arden: My aunt is uber conservative and would have never thought she'd have her little girl in make up and little dresses, but it seems to evolve that way. If your kid loves to dance and is good at it, they join a studio. Studios like to compete and then it's about matching everyone else's outfit. At the competition level, it's intense. My cousin's in HS now and she still LOVES to dance and does so competitively. She's an honor student and has to keep up her grades in order to do so. Last year, I think her grades were slipping so her parents made her stop competing and once her grades were up, she FBed about how happy she is to be able to compete again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384618 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 16:57:17 +0000 Arden 384618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the natural pageants are a lot better for children than the glitz ones, but I still think being judged on things like "facial beauty" is harmful because it makes children think their worth is in their looks.<br /> When/if they lose their looks, or if they don't do well in the pageant, they feel worthless. That's heartbreaking. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384607 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 16:54:06 +0000 dagret 384607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't want to say "never" but I highly doubt I would.<br /> I don't know anything about that world, and if i had a child who liked to perform I would encourage them to do dance or plays or something else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384591 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 16:49:43 +0000 SugarplumsMom 384591@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'll discourage my DD from wanting to be in one by offering other activities. Because she's mixed, people seem to comment about her being a model when she gets older and I secretly cringe a little -- it's not because I hate models, I think it's great, it's more about my own personality. I don't like too much attention and wouldn't feel comfy being in the limelight all the time. But I get that she might be different, and I'd be fine with that too.</p> <p>As for pagents sexualizing young girls: it does reinforce traditional gender roles, yes, and I'm sure it does happen, but I think it's not the actual pagents that do the damage -- it's the parents that <b>allow</b> it to be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384577 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 16:45:56 +0000 Foodnerd81 384577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: I agree that dance is different-- plus, it's good exercise, which is really important. I don't really like the idea of pageants, but I can see how going on stage, etc, would build confidence with public speaking, etc. Honestly I would rather my kids gained that confidence on the debate team, or something, but I am interested in hearing more from someone who actually did it. @Alivoo01: 's "insider knowledge" is really interesting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384564 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 16:38:04 +0000 Arden 384564@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alivoo01: @Foodnerd81: I think dance is different to some extent, because you are being judged on your skill rather than your appearance. It takes practice, discipline, and dedication - all good habits to have. </p> <p>I would let my daughters participate in dance, but I would not allow sexual routines or skimpy costumes, too much makeup, etc.</p> <p>Also, if I ever heard a teacher or judge comment to my child on their weight or appearance, I would pull them out immediately. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384553 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 16:32:26 +0000 Foodnerd81 384553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alivoo01: Dance Moms, might be what you are thinking of. Another one that takes the most extreme examples and acts like everyone in 'dance' is like that, like T&amp;T acts like all pageant families are like that. </p> <p>Pageants aren't a thing where I live so my daughters certainly wouldn't be in them, but I agree with you that I've seen dance recital numbers that just as bad as some of the T&amp;T dances, though, usually not from actual toddlers. I would still be fine with my daughters doing dance though (unlikely that they will be any good, though, since they get half my genes!). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384539 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 16:26:54 +0000 lawbee11 384539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alivoo01: I think there are girls that benefit from doing pageants and there are girls that don't. Some girls can probably shake it off if they lose, build confidence, and know that they gave it their best. Others probably take a blow to their self-confidence, start to believe that they're ugly, or develop an eating disorder. As a child I most certainly would have been in the latter category--I cared a lot about what others thought of me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384473 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 16:12:10 +0000 Alivoo01 384473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Lots going on so I won't tag reply individually, but what about the Miss America pageant where they do give away scholarships and they have to present a platform they are passionate about in advocating for? I'm not talking about the Miss USA/Miss Universe pageant that Trump foundation funds. That's a different pageant system.</p> <p>Like @anonysquire said, new fancy dresses of exorbitant amounts is personal choice. If you actually attend a pageant, numerous other pageant moms sale their daughters dresses or you can trade. There's also various pageant systems where some are complete glitz where you are more dressed (fake tanning, nails, hair pieces, etc.), some are all natural, and some are combination. However, I think the girls in Toddlers and Tiaras are a bit extreme. Sure, there are girls that are like that, but they definitely don't represent the majority.</p> <p>As I said previously, I used to be in pageants, but I don't wear any makeup now besides a BB Cream and dress pretty low key. I think a lot of it has to deal with how parents tell/teach their children what pageants are about and permit such wild behavior. I know some parents who's child has never been in pageants, but put them in dance. Girls in dance know how to put on makeup and put on costumes as well and some take that knowledge of applying makeup to every day life! I believe there's a show out there about this also. I haven't seen it yet though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384454 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 16:05:23 +0000 anonysquire 384454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh and is anyone familiar with honey boo boo? In pageants and doesn't look like she feels pressure to stay thin. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384436 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 16:01:41 +0000 anonysquire 384436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: you know this post is about pageants. I appreciate your opinion and how my opinion boggles your mind or whatever. I have issues and I can assure you I was never in a pageant. So it looks like either way people can be screwed up. I still will let my daughters be in pageants :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384432 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 16:00:41 +0000 lawbee11 384432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I have a daughter, she will not be in pageants. I think girls have enough pressure on them to be thin/beautiful without doing pageants. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384426 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 15:58:14 +0000 Arden 384426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: I'm shocked that you could think that's ok for a girl's self worth to be based on her appearence.</p> <p> An excerpt from an article on how sexualization is affecting young girls. </p> <p>"The constant monitoring of appearance leads to feelings of shame. Feelings of shame arise from a perception that one has failed to meet cultural standards of conduct. Few girls meet the dominant cultural standard for a slender, sexy appearance, so it is not surprising that feelings of inadequacy and shame are widespread. Studies have also demonstrated that exposure to idealized models of sexual attractiveness in media such as fashion magazines leads to body dissatisfaction among girls. In extreme cases, body image dissatisfaction leads teenage girls to undergo plastic surgery procedures such as breast implants and liposuction for reduction of fat in the hips, belly, and thighs. It also contributes to the success of the cosmetics and beauty products industry. In the US, girls between the ages of 12 and 19 spent of $8 billion on these products and services.<br /> Three of the most common mental health problems of girls and women, eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression, have been linked to sexualization. The incidence of anorexia nervosa in girls 10 to 19 over the last 50 years has tracked changes in fashion, with the ideal of a thin body type preceding the highest incidences of anorexia nervosa. A number of studies have demonstrated the links between media exposure to idealized women and depression and reduced self-esteem.<br /> Dr. Gail McVey, scientist and psychologist at The Hospital for Sick Children, has observed through her research that girls as young as 10 are resorting to extreme weight-loss techniques in attempts to mimic the bodies of runway models. In addition to the media, girls face additional pressures such as appearance-based teasing, peer pressure to conform to the thin ideal of beauty, and sexual harassment. Girls learn through the process of socialization to base their self-worth on their appearance." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384406 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 15:54:23 +0000 anonysquire 384406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lantern: nope, I've only watched one in real life. I've seen every episode of toddlers and tiaras and i know that doesn't make me an expert. I still am a fan though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384400 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 15:53:05 +0000 anonysquire 384400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: yes I think it's ok. I feel beautiful when I wear makeup and dress up, that doesn't mean I feel ugly when I wear no make up and am in sweats. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384398 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 15:52:56 +0000 Mrs. Lantern 384398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: have you been in a pageant before or helped a friend out in their LO's pageant? just curious! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384395 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 15:52:34 +0000 Mrsbells 384395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rahlyrah: I think in the long run some of them do win enough money and even scholarships. Pageants are not for me though and the show toddlers and tiaras really makes me feel uneasy watching the kids get manicures and wearing adult make up </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384385 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 15:51:13 +0000 Arden 384385@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: You think it's ok for a girl's confidence and worth to be wrapped up in her looks? To let her feel like she needs layers of artificiality to be beautiful? </p> <p>I don't care about the money involved - if a parents wants to burn money on their child's hobby, that's their decision. I don't judge that at all. </p> <p>I'm concerned about the psychological impact on these girls, not the financial one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384362 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 15:46:51 +0000 anonysquire 384362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: tell that to a drag queen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384359 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 15:46:10 +0000 yoursilverlining 384359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: I watch a lot of T&amp;T and have never seen any of the parents advocate for college or talk about putting the money into a college fund. I have seen parents who home school (using the term “school” loosely) so that they can spend more time practicing for pageants though, haha.</p> <p>I’m sure there are plenty of parents who sock that prize money away, but even if they do; it doesn’t seem like the winnings are more than the cost of dress/makeup/hair/travel/flipper/nails/tanning/etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384356 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 15:45:45 +0000 anonysquire 384356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rahlyrah: I've only seen the shows and I have a friend who puts her daughter in like 3 pageants a month. Utah isn't big on pageants so not even sure if they have them around here. But even at the small pageants on the tv show the grand supreme title wins $1000-5000. And there are other titles with less money. But if you were smart you could buy a used dress, learn how to do the tan/makeup/hair yourself or trade with other moms the day of the show and for sure it would be worth it.mbut I still feel like its worth it for more then the money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384344 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 15:43:35 +0000 Arden 384344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I cannot understand how tanning, make up, false teeth, wigs, and expensive clothes could possibly instill confidence in girls. If anything, it makes them feel like they need all of that fake glitz to be beautiful.<br /> I also think it sexualizes girls in many cases (I've seen some of the dance routines, etc), and I cannot just ignore that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384341 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 15:42:44 +0000 Ra 384341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alivoo01: Interesting! Thank you! I love hearing these different perspectives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384333 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 15:41:45 +0000 Ra 384333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: Do you know much about them? Other than crowns, do they actually win college money? Do you think the investment into costumes/hair/makeup would hinder your ability to save for college?</p> <p>I'm sorry I am asking so many questions! I am genuinely interested. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384328 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 15:40:39 +0000 anonysquire 384328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: that's not fair. On that show many of the parents put the winnings into savings for college... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384325 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 15:40:12 +0000 Alivoo01 384325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did pageants when I was younger (age 8 till like 16?). It actually helped bring me out of my shell a little bit in regards to public speaking and confidence to present myself on stage. While I still get nervous, I no longer feel intimidated by it. Also, we never spent anywhere that much money on my pageant outfits!!! Are there people that do - clearly, but it definitely isn't necessary. The amount of money you do win at a pageant doesn't even cover your entrance fee sometimes! It's all for fun to spend that amount of $$$. Guess it's "equivalent" to say the money you invest in cheerleading (cheer uniforms, shoes, lessons, camps, etc.), violin lessons (violin purchase, new strings, lessons, etc.). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384323 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 15:39:50 +0000 anonysquire 384323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughters will for sure be in pageants if they want to! I think they are great. Think of how much hard work and confidence goes into those. Not just anyone can get on a stage and prance around. I absolutely love them! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-lo-participate-in-pageants#post-384309 Wed, 07 Nov 2012 15:37:07 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 384309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I have a daughter she won't be in any pageants. I could never feel comfortable with spray tanning, waxing, and putting a full face of make up on my child. </p>