https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 01 May 2026 23:54:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-613410 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 08:38:17 +0000 tequiero21 613410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For the most parts, but mil definitely does things I expressly say not to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-613281 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 04:56:14 +0000 ladyfingers 613281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't expect her to. MIL has been visiting for 2 days and we have already had numerous conversations about why it's fine for baby to sleep on their stomach/drink water as a supplement to breastmilk in the first few months/eat solids at one month/take aspirin/have bumpers in their crib. That combined with my dad's philosophy that at 4 weeks he can just cry it out because that's what they did with me, means I will never ever not ever have family watch DS. They're just too out of touch/stubborn. Not to sound offensive but you can't teach an old dog new tricks and I really believe if you're used to parenting a certain way you will just do what you want regardless of what we tell you. It's not worth the aggravation in my book. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-613180 Mon, 04 Mar 2013 23:49:15 +0000 Freckles 613180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sunny: LOL, i was looking at this thread and thought, "huh? when did i post this??" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-613176 Mon, 04 Mar 2013 23:45:09 +0000 sunny 613176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: I feel the same way! My MIL did not follow our instructions while she was here visiting and watching LO and I am very angry at her and do not want her visiting again. </p> <p>The worst part is she never considers that she *could* be wrong.</p> <p>ETA: Oops sorry for responding to a 6 month old thread!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-613171 Mon, 04 Mar 2013 23:40:20 +0000 jetsettermomma 613171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rubies: we're trying to teach SO's parents a lesson too! They always put their own desires first over DS's needs (they want to play, play, play).. for instance, when we're feeding DS and trying to put him down for a nap, FIL walks by and says BOO! So we're not having them watch him for now until they realize that they need to adjust their attitude towards him (he's not just a toy!). I honestly don't think they'll get it though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-255873 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 23:48:03 +0000 EloiseKE 255873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sometimes she gives in to the "gimmes" when shopping, and sometimes she lets her use playground equipment I don't usually let her go on, but nothing major. Ultimately my mom raised 3 kids so I try to just voice my preferences and let go. Or i can always pay for alternate child care! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-255849 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 21:52:19 +0000 Freckles 255849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: I would be more livid if MIL didnt follow our instructions. Luckily she is outnumbered by my husband and FIL, so she knows she has no choice. Hope she realizes there are consequences! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-255848 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 21:49:59 +0000 Freckles 255848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: that is a great idea. We did that this evening actually, and she asked a lot of questions. I know my mom means well, but sometimes her forgetfulness drives me batty! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-255847 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 21:48:09 +0000 Freckles 255847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaBehr: my mil has said that to the husband before! Haha...we were trying to undo some bad sleep habits so we asked her to put LO in the crib as opposed to holding her. She was offended but my husband is really firm with her and luckily my FIL is good about following instructions! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-255845 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 21:45:39 +0000 Freckles 255845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Stroller: you're right, i realized after talking to my mom today that it is just an old school instinct. I was more upset because i was thinking of what could have happened had she gone in. After talking it through i felt better about the situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-255807 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 19:19:22 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 255807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You do not have a stick up your butt; that would drive me flippin insane. I am already having some anxiety because my mom is the type to do her own thing with my child (which I should trust because she's my mom BUT STILL). My MIL will listen to me, she is a very "by the rules" type of lady and she's very open minded to many parenting techniques. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-255744 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 14:39:30 +0000 MamaBehr 255744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mother follows all our directions, but my MIL is a different story. I totally get why you would be upset. It isn't that she caused any damage to the baby or even disrupted the sleep training, but it is the fact she didn't respect you enough to listen to your directions about YOUR baby. That's what bothers me about my MIL. She doesn't create bad habits or "ruin" anything that I have established, it is that she doesn't respect me or my DH's decisions as parents. She even said once "well fine, don't listen to me. It's not like I haven't raised two children before," about one of our parenting decisions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-255634 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 11:15:06 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 255634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not really. I only leave the vaguest instructions now because I know it's just hit or miss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-255607 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 10:54:04 +0000 Mrs. Stroller 255607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents and ILs always follow my directions. But going upstairs and waiting by the door seems quite harmless. Was she just waiting to hear if the baby cried? I know my parents much prefer to listen to the baby from outside his room than to listen on the monitor. Maybe it's the non-tech generation ;)</p> <p>Generally my parents take the cues from me. However, they've spent a lot time with me and LO so I think they're pretty confident in knowing what I'd do in any given situation. I'm a total sleep tyrant, but I also try to be hands-off when it comes to grandparents and daddy since they get to spend so little time with him in the grand scheme of things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-255604 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 10:49:52 +0000 autumnlove 255604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom might not agree with some of our instructions but she still follows them. My MIL does not follow any instructions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-255550 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 08:39:11 +0000 chopsuey 255550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've never left my lo with my mil, but I'm sure both mom and mil would follow instructions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-255548 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 08:38:46 +0000 oliviaoblivia 255548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO isn't here yet and I apologize for the dog story...But if how my MIL treats the dog is how she'll treat the baby, we're in big trouble. She had to dog sit for an afternoon and fed the dog a pot roast and an entire 9" pumpkin pie. After explicit direction to not feed her people food. I actually worry quite often about how she'll be when the baby gets here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-255508 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 06:45:14 +0000 Rubies 255508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL *NEVER* listens to my instructions and at one point we actually banned her from our home. She learned her lesson for a short while but she's back to ignoring the way I do things. It's caused a slight rift and I really do see it getting worse. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-255507 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 06:27:53 +0000 heffalump 255507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do leave instructions. For the most part they listen, but sometimes they also just do what they want. I always just tell myself that as long as lo isn't hurt than I'm not going to worry about it and I let it go. I figure one messed up nap or one ice cream cone too many isn't going too kill anybody. Now if she feeds my baby nuts or shell fish..... then we have a problem. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-255486 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 03:27:39 +0000 jackieomy 255486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think, in my experience, explaining the reasoning behind your methods may also be helpful. For instance, "I know it's hard to not react to every noise -- I ran to her when hearing her fuss a little at first -- but we are trying to let her soothe herself, and that is why we wait until she cries, to give her a chance to do so."</p> <p>Sometimes, being explicit about your reasoning makes it more concrete and easier for them to understand and go along with your wishes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-255481 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 03:10:51 +0000 looch 255481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, they do. We left our son with my parents after we put him down to go out to dinner...he woke up crying like we knew he would and my mom followed the instructions not to talk to him when she went it to lay him down again. I was so happy!</p> <p>My MIL does as well, I found it's a lot easier for them if you tell them what you expect ahead of time and if you go through the routine as a dress rehearsal. This way, they can ask questions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-mothermil-follow-your-instructions#post-255429 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 23:51:31 +0000 Freckles 255429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really hope i don't sound like a tool here.</p> <p>We are staying with my folks, and the husband and i asked my parents if they could watch LO after we put her to bed. She is normally good once she falls asleep, and we were only going to be out for 2 hours tops. Before i left, i gave the video monitor to my mom and told her to wait if she makes a noise, and it is only necessary to go to her if she is crying. If she is crying, please do not go upstairs.</p> <p>When we got back, my mom told me that LO made a noise so she ran upstairs right away, and then waited by the door. Luckily, she stopped making sounds. But WHY did she ignore my instructions? What if LO continued to fuss (not cry) as part of her self-soothing routine and my mom went in...which would then wake her up, and then she would start screaming when someone other than me is putting her to sleep.</p> <p>I am very anal when it comes to LO's sleep because we have come such a long way. I am more annoyed by the fact that she ignored my instructions, and feel like she will do what she feels is best. </p> <p>Do i just need to get this stick out of my butt, and if so, how do i learn to chill? Do you leave instructions for your parents or inlaws, and do they listen to you? </p>