Hellobee Boards Topic: Does your second child get the shaft?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Does your second child get the shaft? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Apr 2026 12:08:20 +0000 78h2o on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2068723 Fri, 13 Feb 2015 13:36:59 +0000 78h2o 2068723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I know it's easier said than done, but try to let go of the guilt!!! Different kids have different needs, and all will have times when they need more or less than their sibling(s). You only have so many hands and so much time and energy. Luckily you DO have enough love for both of them and I'm sure they know it!!!! Mrs. High Heels on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2068703 Fri, 13 Feb 2015 13:24:01 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 2068703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Andrea: Ditto! He was an easy baby, but now as a toddler I need to tend to him a lot more, while #1 is the one who gets "shafted" bc she usually has to wait for me or play independently now while I tend to the toddler. I guess they take turns getting shafted! Radish on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2068682 Fri, 13 Feb 2015 13:14:15 +0000 Radish 2068682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ LO2 sleeps a lot still and naps in her crib for the most part - i sometimes feel like I'm being neglectful since i always had LO1 in my arms all day since she never wanted me to put her down. lemondrop on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2068605 Fri, 13 Feb 2015 12:33:08 +0000 lemondrop 2068605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think my #2 is getting a pretty sweet deal- he's much more aware and into things way before my first ever was. He's farther ahead on milestones and has an awesome hero worship for his big brother. Part of me feels like we held our first back by not making all of these things available to him as early as we have for our second. sorrycharlie on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2068529 Fri, 13 Feb 2015 12:04:28 +0000 sorrycharlie 2068529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ mine are the opposite :( I feel so guilty that I can't do as much with O anymore. She doesn't seem to totally care, she's very independent. But I feel bad! Mamasig on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2068521 Fri, 13 Feb 2015 12:01:19 +0000 Mamasig 2068521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Well, my second can't get the same attention since we do have his brother to also take care of. But he gets a better mom who has more experience. I don't worry nearly as much and enjoy every little bit of him. He's probably more spoiled. :silly: And it can all change in an instant. From about 1-6 months, DS2 was so easy. Now he is demanding! Must be held all the time and wants mama ALL the time. Dandelion on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2068090 Fri, 13 Feb 2015 08:32:40 +0000 Dandelion 2068090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Other way around. D is easy peasy while M is a stinker. M ends up with a lot more attention. winniebee on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2068063 Fri, 13 Feb 2015 08:19:57 +0000 winniebee 2068063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ When you have another child there just simply enough arms and hours in the day to pay the second baby the same attention as the first! Fortunately my second is a lot more content to just hang in the swing or bouncy seat than my first ever was. Mrs. Tricycle on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2068061 Fri, 13 Feb 2015 08:18:56 +0000 Mrs. Tricycle 2068061@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @MrsF: ahh Thanks!! I needed that! :) all those things are so true. Mrs. Tricycle on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2068056 Fri, 13 Feb 2015 08:14:40 +0000 Mrs. Tricycle 2068056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @jedeve: ouch! :) I definitely love him - his disposition makes him even more loveable! He just may not always get the physical manifestation of that love. MrsF on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2067633 Thu, 12 Feb 2015 21:56:12 +0000 MrsF 2067633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I've been feeling this way too. LO1 was so colicky and LO2 is fairly chill. His big sister still demands a lot of attention and he spends a lot of time hanging out so I feel guilty. This post made me feel a little better: <a href="https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/5-reasons-why-second-babies-are-the-lucky-ones-108174038092.html" rel="nofollow">https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/5-reasons-why-second-babies-are-the-lucky-ones-108174038092.html</a> keepcalmcarrie on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2067598 Thu, 12 Feb 2015 21:40:10 +0000 keepcalmcarrie 2067598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ LO2 is just 5 weeks and is a much easier newborn than LO1, who was colicky - but he is tougher with sleep and will only nap in my arms right now, so that's tough. LO1 was much harder to soothe, but LO2 does not just chill in the swing/bouncer for long. Maybe I just have high maintenance babies :silly: Mrs. Bee on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2067527 Thu, 12 Feb 2015 21:16:57 +0000 Mrs. Bee 2067527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ sounds like charlie and olive! but the second child benefits so much from having an older sibling, i don't consider it them getting the shaft! i think olive is a lot more flexible since she's been going on charlie's playdates since she was born. Bao on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2067498 Thu, 12 Feb 2015 21:07:02 +0000 Bao 2067498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yeah I think so. I'm just so busy with my demanding toddler and LO2 is usually pretty content that I just roll with it. skipra on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2067494 Thu, 12 Feb 2015 21:02:21 +0000 skipra 2067494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't think so. LO1 was always pretty independent, liked to play on his mat or with his toys from pretty early on. He loved his jumper until he was able to crawl and then he was just off exploring everything. LO2 is much clingier. He crawls to me and into my lap or pulls up on my leg rather than off to check things out. He has some toys that he is happy playing independently with but it is usually short lived. When he was a newborn he did sleep in the swing a lot more but otherwise I would say no. oliviaoblivia on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2067394 Thu, 12 Feb 2015 20:06:28 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2067394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I hope not! DD2 is chill, but gets a lot of love from me and DD1 is obsessed with cuddling with her so maybe she has it better than #1..? yin on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2067388 Thu, 12 Feb 2015 20:03:50 +0000 yin 2067388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ This was the case for me too except that LO1 had dropped his naps by then. The only alone time I had with LO2 was after LO1 went down for the night. Even now that LO2 is 15 months old, I still feel like he gets shafted. :bummed: Andrea on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2067292 Thu, 12 Feb 2015 18:58:28 +0000 Andrea 2067292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Maybe just in the beginning since she was chill, but then she got all high maintenance on me. She definitely doesn't get the shaft anymore! jedeve on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2067290 Thu, 12 Feb 2015 18:57:12 +0000 jedeve 2067290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Sometimes! But I hate the jokes about "oh second children get no love." Maybe because I'm the second child and my mom is usually the one to make the jokes... lemong on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2067277 Thu, 12 Feb 2015 18:47:27 +0000 lemong 2067277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I feel this way too! LO2 is low-key and pretty mellow. He'd just fall asleep sitting in the bouncer and there is *no* way LO1 would have done that. The two share a room and last night LO1 woke up crying at 2 AM. I checked the video monitor and LO2 opened his eyes, looked around, and then went back to sleep even as his sister continued to cry for 30 more seconds. Thank goodness it's this way because there is no way LO1 would have tolerated a wake-up like that. autumnlove on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2067082 Thu, 12 Feb 2015 16:50:38 +0000 autumnlove 2067082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My LO 2 was so chill her first year...I guess she got the shaft? :P Mrs. Lion on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2067075 Thu, 12 Feb 2015 16:48:10 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2067075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My first child sounds like your second! He is perfectly happy and just has a pretty easy going temprement. He doesn't love to snuggle but he does love his momma <3 I think it's just a personality thing. Mrs. Tricycle on "Does your second child get the shaft?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-second-child-get-the-shaft#post-2067068 Thu, 12 Feb 2015 16:44:54 +0000 Mrs. Tricycle 2067068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My first baby was sooo demanding -- he refused to sleep anywhere other than my arms for the first three months and cried constantly. He got my full attention 99% of the time, and was being held or carried almost 24/7. Number two is the total opposite - he's so low-key and undemanding - he's happy to sit in the bouncer or the swing and only fusses when he's hungry, about to fall asleep or wearing pants (yeah, kid doesn't like pants). Number one is still a handful - a crazy tornado of energy that needs constant supervision to advert disaster. As a result, the baby spends a lot of time in the bouncer -- and I'm feeling major guilt about it!! During the toddler's nap time, we do nothing but cuddle, and he gets a lot of lap time when he's nursing, but otherwise, he just doesn't spend as much time physically close to me as his brother did. He'll spend a little time in the Ergo, but he's only cool with it for 15 minutes at a time. Any other mom's feeling guilt because your toddler gets way more attention than your newborn?