https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 29 Apr 2026 15:29:06 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-ever-try-to-help-and-end-up-creating-more-work-for-you#post-167064 Thu, 24 May 2012 04:25:30 +0000 mediagirl 167064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Wagon it sounds like you had a really bad day! I hope today is better for you. </p> <p>My husband is pretty good about asking what I need if he thinks I need help. If it looks like it's under control, he'll leave me be. I'm usually the one he has to follow around after. I'm not the best housewife in the world. :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-ever-try-to-help-and-end-up-creating-more-work-for-you#post-166812 Wed, 23 May 2012 19:50:23 +0000 mrs. wagon 166812@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: hehe... thanks. Tomorrow's got to be better... I can't have 3 days in a row! </p> <p>@banana: dangit. the other side of the coin.... how easily I forget. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-ever-try-to-help-and-end-up-creating-more-work-for-you#post-166805 Wed, 23 May 2012 19:47:12 +0000 banana 166805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs.wagon: Aww. don't feel bad about posting! Sometimes we all need a release! I told my husband about this post and he started cracking up and said "Ummm....have you seen how many tools you've taken out of the tool box to hang up a picture frame?"</p> <p>Alriiiiiight....truce. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-ever-try-to-help-and-end-up-creating-more-work-for-you#post-166797 Wed, 23 May 2012 19:44:02 +0000 heffalump 166797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're the opposite. DH is more picky about how things get done, so I'm the one messing his things up.</p> <p>@mrs. wagon: Hope tomorrow is better for you! I feel like I said that yesterday too.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-ever-try-to-help-and-end-up-creating-more-work-for-you#post-166787 Wed, 23 May 2012 19:40:36 +0000 mrs. wagon 166787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel bad about posting this now. I'm just having a bad day! Bad couple of days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-ever-try-to-help-and-end-up-creating-more-work-for-you#post-166749 Wed, 23 May 2012 19:24:15 +0000 banana 166749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs.wagon: So funny cause my DH does the same with the pots/pans and utensils. Like really....you need 2 pans and 3 spoons to make scrambled eggs? I appreciate that he's trying to help but it makes clean up soooo tiring. He's really good at making cereal (haha) so he'll help with that. Anything requiring the stove is now hands off! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-ever-try-to-help-and-end-up-creating-more-work-for-you#post-166748 Wed, 23 May 2012 19:23:47 +0000 mrs. wagon 166748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: Usually it's fine, we are great at dividing and conquering (or, as I put it on days like this when I'm annoyed and unreasonable, me delegating tasks to him). It's just when he deviates from our regular system (out of his want to help me out) that I get annoyed and we end up with more work than is necessary!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-ever-try-to-help-and-end-up-creating-more-work-for-you#post-166747 Wed, 23 May 2012 19:22:28 +0000 Shimmer 166747@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: My DH has ADD and actually benefits from more direction/structure. If I tell him to do what he wants, I'd better mean it because I never know what the outcome will be! :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-ever-try-to-help-and-end-up-creating-more-work-for-you#post-166743 Wed, 23 May 2012 19:21:11 +0000 mrbee 166743@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: not sure the system is working tho?</p> <p>Sorry for brevity, am typing on phone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-ever-try-to-help-and-end-up-creating-more-work-for-you#post-166742 Wed, 23 May 2012 19:19:04 +0000 mrs. wagon 166742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: that's the thing.. Wagon Sr. actually does well with it, which makes me feel worse. :T </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-ever-try-to-help-and-end-up-creating-more-work-for-you#post-166740 Wed, 23 May 2012 19:18:23 +0000 mrs. wagon 166740@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: lol Wagon Sr. CONSTANTLY does this too!!! He'll work like crazy on a Thursday night on some random project, then at midnight we'll be going to bed and he'll be like OH NO, IT'S TRASH DAY! I always say "I don't feel bad for you because you should have remembered and done it earlier rather than this totally random project..."</p> <p>@banana: omg I cannot agree with you more. Even when Wagon Sr. offers to cook something up on his own I still say no because he will use EVERY SINGLE POT AND PAN in the kitchen (and burn them all, requiring overnight soaking and scouring) and SO MANY dishes and HUGE bowls (so hard to wash!!) that the cleanup (and the state of the kitchen!!) is just too much for me to think about. And of course he always says he'll do the cleaning up, but he waits until the very last minute before bed to start cleaning and we end up staying up super late cleaning everything up together. So I'd rather just do it myself...!!!</p> <p>I guess this is turning into a husband-bashing thread... :T Sorry!!! But it's great therapy!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-ever-try-to-help-and-end-up-creating-more-work-for-you#post-166738 Wed, 23 May 2012 19:15:59 +0000 mrbee 166738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not do well with being told what to do! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-ever-try-to-help-and-end-up-creating-more-work-for-you#post-166735 Wed, 23 May 2012 19:13:59 +0000 Shimmer 166735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: This totally!</p> <p>DH means well, I know that - but he needs so much direction sometimes that it's just easier if I do it instead. I'm getting better about not being so particular about things since it's physically getting harder for me to do things like hand wash the pots and pans - my belly gets in the way and I can't reach the faucet! I have to settle for "almost as good"... I'll get over it lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-ever-try-to-help-and-end-up-creating-more-work-for-you#post-166727 Wed, 23 May 2012 19:06:16 +0000 banana 166727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>HAHAHA! Yes! My husband means well but he creates more unnecessary work out of something sooooo easy to do. Sometimes I'd rather just do the chore myself than ask for his help. Like if I ask him to scramble up some eggs for my son, he'll ask me every step by step instruction (where's the pan, what kind of butter do I use, where is it, where's the spatula, when do I flip over it over). And then he'll pull every single thing out of our pantry looking for the olive oil (it was right in front of his face). It's tiring getting help sometimes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-ever-try-to-help-and-end-up-creating-more-work-for-you#post-166721 Wed, 23 May 2012 18:49:59 +0000 MamaMoose 166721@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hubs is pretty good Helping around the house. My biggest complaint is that sometimes I just do not get is logic in prioritizing projects. Once he gets a project in his head that's all he can focus on, even if it's not important. For example I have been begging him lately to start cleaning all his crap out of the room that will become the nursery. But of course a couple weeks ago on Sunday afternoon he decides he needs to completely clean out and organize everything stored under the vanity in our master bath. Whhhhhyyyy????? Please just clean your junk out of the nursery!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-ever-try-to-help-and-end-up-creating-more-work-for-you#post-166719 Wed, 23 May 2012 18:47:18 +0000 chopsuey 166719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh no!!!! :(<br /> Hope you can get some good rest tonight! Tomorrow's a brand new day &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-ever-try-to-help-and-end-up-creating-more-work-for-you#post-166709 Wed, 23 May 2012 18:34:19 +0000 mrs. wagon 166709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is such a common problem for us. Wagon Sr. always has good intentions but we have opposite working styles when it comes to doing things around the house. I like to delegate and take care of tasks separately with systems in place, and he'll leave things half-done all over the place to jump and help me with what I'm doing. Then I end up having to back and finish what he was in the process of doing.</p> <p>For instance, I have certain things I've delegated to him, and there are certain things I forbid him to touch, such as laundry and cooking. </p> <p>The other night I was cooking pasta and meatballs like I do every week. Since I have less than 30 mins to get dinner on the table and I've now done it so many times, I have it down to an exact science of when the water is boiling, when the sauce is simmering, etc. He knew I was tired and stressed so he came over and tried to help... usually I snap at him to just stay out of my way, but I always feel guilty since I know he's trying to help. He notices the water boiling cooking the pasta and says something like "wow, this is really boiling over" and I just kind of ignore him. A few minutes later the timer goes off and I go to strain the cooked pasta.... and realize he's turned the stove almost all the way off!!! The pasta has now no longer been boiling, but barely simmering for half the cooking time. It's hard and chewy and now I have to get it to boiling again and taste it every few minutes to see when it's done. I end up overcooking the pasta because I'm watching the sauce too (and in the meanwhile he's stirred the sauce saying something like "oh wow, this is gonna burn soon"). Dinner takes twice as long to prepare and I'm pissed that I've had to spend so much time in the kitchen making a meal I've made a million times.</p> <p>Then after we put Wagon Jr. to bed, I notice all the other things that he could have been doing instead of getting in my way in the kitchen, such as cleaning up the crazy mess of toys Wagon Jr. was busy making while we were busy in the kitchen. The thing he DID end up doing, which was finish packing Wagon Jr.'s lunch, was done BUT he had left the bag of goldfish open on the counter and all the dishes are left in the sink, precariously placed in towers and completely dried and crusted, so that as soon as I turn the water on, they all come crashing down.</p> <p>I know he means well, but I get so frustrated. I create systems for a reason... for things to run smoothly... I don't know how many more ways I can possibly say "just do what I tell you to do and stay out of my way when I'm doing my thing!"</p> <p>Just one of those days.... </p>