https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 29 May 2026 20:55:34 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-go-to-the-gym-after-theyre-done-with-work#post-500000 Sat, 12 Jan 2013 08:32:01 +0000 BKCaribBaby 500000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He does this now, but we've already discussed that he'll need to make a switch. He works long hours, so going to the gym after work could mean not getting home until maybe after 9pm, depending on the day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-go-to-the-gym-after-theyre-done-with-work#post-499957 Sat, 12 Jan 2013 07:25:50 +0000 chrispygal 499957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I'm actually the parent that hits the gym - my SO has no interest. lol. I go before work and pre-baby went 4 or 5 mornings a week. Now we have it arranged where I go two mornings a week and a third morning I'm in Boston, so he's on his own 3 mornings a week. He also does pick up probably 3 nights a week as well so right now, he carries more of the weight than I do, however he took a new job closer to home for this very reason. I will tell you now, it would never fly if I tried to have him do the drop off and pick up every day. No way. And I wouldn't do that to him. We're a partnership. </p> <p>I thanked him once for doing so much to help with the baby because it allows me to continue with the gym and with my career and he said I didn't need to thank him - it was just as much his responsibility as mine. He's a great man. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-go-to-the-gym-after-theyre-done-with-work#post-499942 Sat, 12 Jan 2013 06:40:15 +0000 blackbird 499942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. We both believe in 50/50 parenting and that means sacrifices on both parts. I'm actually the one who will work out after work (not every day) and get home later (530 or 630) BUT I will handle all mornings and he will be home with her at 3pm. And we talked about how I will work out a lot to get my pre baby body back and then I will cut back. We have an elliptical at home and DH uses that mostly. I will not work and do 90% of the parenting chores; it's not right for our situation. It would breed resentment. Crossfit does the trick for getting in shape in a more minimal amount of time. I spend less time at the gym now but am more fit than ever. It's a great system for me </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-go-to-the-gym-after-theyre-done-with-work#post-499879 Sat, 12 Jan 2013 04:15:02 +0000 Sweet T 499879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, DH has required PT every morning. There's not really any reason for him to go to the gym after work. I would not be okay with things if I were in your friend's situation. It sounds like her husband doesn't spend much time with their LOs. I would be really resentful if I were in her shoes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-go-to-the-gym-after-theyre-done-with-work#post-499874 Sat, 12 Jan 2013 04:08:50 +0000 mrs. bird 499874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, 5-6 days a week for 3+hrs. Maybe once we have a LO it will change, but I don't have that expectation. DH has tried going to work before, but that means I'm up before 5 &amp; that makes for a very cranky mrs. Bird! Skipping a day would make him really moody unless it's for a very good reason. He has a very draining job &amp; it's his time to burn all that off &amp; then come home without work baggage. He is also completely jacked which takes more gym time than the average hour &amp; a half three days a week gym goer. I wish it was less, and if it meant LOs were not seeing him for days I'd probably push for a change at least a couple times a week, but having him home &amp; being in a nasty mood is worse </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-go-to-the-gym-after-theyre-done-with-work#post-499832 Sat, 12 Jan 2013 02:11:51 +0000 chopsuey 499832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He goes to the gym after dd goes down for the night </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-go-to-the-gym-after-theyre-done-with-work#post-499773 Sat, 12 Jan 2013 00:29:55 +0000 Andrea 499773@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He misses bedtime for work anyway. So if he wants to go to the gym, that would be fine, just not every day. I agree that I should have the right to "sign off". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-go-to-the-gym-after-theyre-done-with-work#post-499751 Fri, 11 Jan 2013 23:59:33 +0000 BoogieBea 499751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband goes to the gym several times a week after work. But we live in the west coast and both work east coast hours. so, my husband gets off relatively early and doesn't have to miss bedtime or other duties even if he goes to the gym. Still, he always asks first to make sure there's nothing else going on at the house. I used to go with him because there's child care at the gym. But my daughter hasn't been comfortable with it yet so I just workout on the weekends or at home for now. If he were to miss bedtime or a chunk of time with the kids, then it would not fly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-go-to-the-gym-after-theyre-done-with-work#post-499740 Fri, 11 Jan 2013 23:45:27 +0000 BeachMama 499740@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No I wouldn't be okay with it, because it would mean that I was handling feeding LO, bathing her, and putting her to bed along with making dinner for DH and I. Way too much to handle 100% of the time. Luckily DH works out before work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-go-to-the-gym-after-theyre-done-with-work#post-499734 Fri, 11 Jan 2013 23:38:55 +0000 autumnlove 499734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be ok with it right now because he does most mornings with her...I want DH to exercise! But ask me again when we have 2 kids! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-go-to-the-gym-after-theyre-done-with-work#post-499733 Fri, 11 Jan 2013 23:36:57 +0000 sera_87 499733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, and his gym is across the parking lot from his work so it makes more sense to just go after. But he's also very good with if I ask him to come home he will. It just makes the day so long - he's gone pretty much 12 hours and somedays its more than I can take. I try not to ask too often though because he's a bigger guy....sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-go-to-the-gym-after-theyre-done-with-work#post-499732 Fri, 11 Jan 2013 23:35:57 +0000 lawbee11 499732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way. I agree with you that it's a decision that both parties have to agree on, but it would make me really sad if DH missed bedtime every night or most nights (and our LO isn't even here yet!)...especially for a martial arts class!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-go-to-the-gym-after-theyre-done-with-work#post-499731 Fri, 11 Jan 2013 23:35:49 +0000 Beebug 499731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wouldn't fly in our house! </p> <p>DH can work out at/during work, so we're lucky that way! He misses bedtime 1-2x a week for hockey (he coaches) and he hates missing her in the night, but part of the job, so we deal! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/does-your-so-go-to-the-gym-after-theyre-done-with-work#post-499728 Fri, 11 Jan 2013 23:31:32 +0000 mrbee 499728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This came up in another thread, and it reminded me of a good friend of mine. She handles most daycare dropoffs in the morning, and also handles daycare pickups + bathtime + bedtime. When I asked her why her husband didn't help much, she said that he takes a martial art class after he finishes work. He usually gets home after bath time, in the middle of bed time (or later).</p> <p>I could totally understand if he had to work late every day But in this case, he could always just come home right away and then go out and work out after bedtime? Or alternatively, wake up early and work out first thing in the morning?</p> <p>I am of the mind that it's ok to ask your SO to take 100% of the mornings or 100% of the evenings (if they're ok with it)... but giving your SO 100% of both mornings and evenings is a decision that both parents have to sign off on! That said, I realize that this is a very personal decision and every family has to make their own call on what makes sense for them.</p> <p>Would you be ok with your SO going to the gym after they're done with work every day (and missing bedtime most nights)? </p>