https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 17 Jul 2026 02:01:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doesdid-everyone-assume-you-want-a-second-kid#post-1036913 Thu, 22 Aug 2013 14:44:13 +0000 looch 1036913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bookish: you know, i was just thinking about it, I can get pretty gung ho on working and money stuff and a cousin actually told me that it is a bad idea to worry just about money and not have a second child.</p> <p>I should have asked him if it was financially responsible of him to have any children....although that would have gone over like a lead balloon and I would look like a biatch! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doesdid-everyone-assume-you-want-a-second-kid#post-1036905 Thu, 22 Aug 2013 14:42:32 +0000 Vegmama 1036905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We haven't had our baby yet, so no one has asked ... BUT, my mom went 13 years between my sister and I (not for a lack of trying), and I vividly remember people asking about additional kids alllll the time. When she finally got pregnant with my sister, people were doing the ol "It's about time!" thing. I am sure it hurt, especially since there were miscarriages and infertility between the two of us. </p> <p>People need to butt out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doesdid-everyone-assume-you-want-a-second-kid#post-1036568 Thu, 22 Aug 2013 13:18:34 +0000 Bookish 1036568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@heartonastring: @looch: yeah, my family thinks I'm joking/not serious. I need to get a thicker skin on the subject; it just grates on me that people think it's soooo horrible! And really, like @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: says, who says I have to have two!? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doesdid-everyone-assume-you-want-a-second-kid#post-1036409 Thu, 22 Aug 2013 12:38:00 +0000 looch 1036409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, people don't think we're serious about being one and done, but whatever. When they say how terrible it is that we will have an only child, I shrug my shoulders and smirk. I can't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doesdid-everyone-assume-you-want-a-second-kid#post-1035005 Wed, 21 Aug 2013 19:08:42 +0000 heartonastring 1035005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>People always seem to think I'm joking about being one and done. I'm not (for now at least...things could change). So, I just let them think I'm joking and I don't care what they say. It's not their decision, it's mine. Unless they're going to live my life they have no say...so yeah, I ignore them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doesdid-everyone-assume-you-want-a-second-kid#post-1034979 Wed, 21 Aug 2013 18:47:43 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1034979@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't even have one baby yet and people assume I want and will have two. I hear the same thing "you have to have two"...says who?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doesdid-everyone-assume-you-want-a-second-kid#post-1034931 Wed, 21 Aug 2013 18:28:37 +0000 Bookish 1034931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: yep, the "you have to make more beautiful babies" really cracks me up. Yes, my baby is the cutest one everrr. Doesn't mean I want another right now! The world couldn't handle two babies this cute! </p> <p>@Pepper: haha my DH is even more adamantly one and done than I am. He loves the heck out of his princess, but he looks at people like they're crazy when they ask about #2! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doesdid-everyone-assume-you-want-a-second-kid#post-1034917 Wed, 21 Aug 2013 18:21:44 +0000 Pepper 1034917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: Lol I love all of your replies, you always make me laugh!</p> <p>Everyone asks us if we want another/when we will have another. I eventually want another kid, so it doesn't bother me that much (though I do find it odd to ask when the baby is so new!) My husband, however, gets a terrified look on his face whenever anyone brings up #2! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doesdid-everyone-assume-you-want-a-second-kid#post-1034867 Wed, 21 Aug 2013 17:42:23 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1034867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am sooo torn. Being a mom is 10000000x harder than I ever could have imagined - and this coming from someone who was a nanny for a living for several years! Being a nanny was hard but I had no idea. no amount of years spent in childcare would have prepared me for this! It's a beautiful ride, but a challenging one.</p> <p>Because of that I really started to doubt whether I want another one. On one hand I cannot imagine me son being an only child, but on the other hand I think of how many more opportunities we would have financially with just one - we could afford to travel to visit DH's family each year and that would be amazing.</p> <p>I also know my hubby really wants a second. third, fourth and fifth... :-P I said our absolute max is 3. </p> <p>To answer the question - Yes, I get this question alot. Once J turned a year old people started to assume we would be having a second sometime soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doesdid-everyone-assume-you-want-a-second-kid#post-1034807 Wed, 21 Aug 2013 17:09:17 +0000 deerylou 1034807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We do want more children, eventually. However, people are always quick to assume that we're having moremoremore and soonsoonsoon. LO is only 4 weeks old; hold your horses, people!</p> <p>It does kind of throw me for a loop when people ask when I'm going to "get pregnant again, and make another beautiful baby". Of course, I *do* think DD is gorgeous, and I definitely enjoyed pregnancy, but DH and I really want to explore adoption. Not sure I really want to explain that to people every time they inquire. </p> <p>People are crazy.</p> <p>@Cherrybee: LOL forever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doesdid-everyone-assume-you-want-a-second-kid#post-1034802 Wed, 21 Aug 2013 17:05:29 +0000 Bookish 1034802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: LMAO! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doesdid-everyone-assume-you-want-a-second-kid#post-1034798 Wed, 21 Aug 2013 17:02:41 +0000 Cherrybee 1034798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>People are not really asking us. I thought perhaps it was too early but in truth I think they see the haunted look in my eyes - like a Vietnam veteran reliving their experiences over and over - and know better than to bring it up. I have returned to my home and everythings the same... but Im different. Ive seen and felt things I can't even describe..... You wanna know if Im having another??? Look into these hollowed out eyes! Sorry, I went off on one there!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doesdid-everyone-assume-you-want-a-second-kid#post-1034797 Wed, 21 Aug 2013 17:02:13 +0000 Bookish 1034797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Blue: lol! My mom had her twins after me, so by then she was done! </p> <p>@FutureMrsMcK: We got a ton when I was pregnant, too. I like the response you give; I think I'll have to start using that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doesdid-everyone-assume-you-want-a-second-kid#post-1034790 Wed, 21 Aug 2013 16:56:16 +0000 autumnlove 1034790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmmm, people asked me about my timeline for #3 when I was still pregnant with #2. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doesdid-everyone-assume-you-want-a-second-kid#post-1034785 Wed, 21 Aug 2013 16:54:25 +0000 lovehoneybee 1034785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Blue: Haha, my oldest brothers are twin boys, and my mom said after the two of them having two more single newborns (my older brother, then me) was a breeze. And the twins were HUGE trouble-makers, especially as toddlers, so that's saying a lot :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doesdid-everyone-assume-you-want-a-second-kid#post-1034782 Wed, 21 Aug 2013 16:51:39 +0000 Mrs. Blue 1034782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope! But after having twins, everyone assumes we do NOT want a third. They're all wrong. :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doesdid-everyone-assume-you-want-a-second-kid#post-1034774 Wed, 21 Aug 2013 16:41:58 +0000 lovehoneybee 1034774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh yeah, even when I was still pregnant with #1. We got called selfish a lot for even thinking about it. </p> <p>We're probably a coin flip about #2 right now, but when anyone asks (and we get asked a lot, especially now that he's a year old), we just smile politely and say that we're just enjoying E for now. I'm sure if we decide not to have another the comments will get worse the older he gets, but for now people (especially other mothers) accept that. I'm not sure what we'll say later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doesdid-everyone-assume-you-want-a-second-kid#post-1034768 Wed, 21 Aug 2013 16:36:12 +0000 Bookish 1034768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our wonderful, adorable LO is 8 weeks old, and DH and I are 99% sure we are one and done. That remaining 1% being if I got pregnant on accident. There are many reasons for this, most of which I don't feel like explaining to everyone I meet. However, it seems like everyone is already talking about us having a second, from my boss asking the baby "don't you want a brother or sister?" to my friend saying "well, you HAVE to have at least 2," to my doctor casually saying "well, your second baby will be easier." All of those are people who I have told we only want one kid! </p> <p>It's starting to get on my nerves, and I'm wondering if my experience is unique. I'm actually feeling more pressure to have a second baby than I ever did to have my first! Everyone seems to just assume I will change my mind, or acts like I'm a bad person for not wanting a second one. </p> <p>If you are one and done, or on the fence, did you experience a lot of negativity and pressure to have #2? Did you come up with a polite way of getting people to butt out? </p>