https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 19 May 2026 19:00:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1838923 Wed, 27 Aug 2014 13:00:51 +0000 jedeve 1838923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Update:</p> <p>I tried quitting but it didn't go well. The conversation was really awkward. I'm going to work ten hours from home. Not to toot my own horn, but they need me and so it makes sense for them. And without paying for childcare I will bring home about what I was before. But I'm nervous about working for people who know I wanted to quit. But maybe being at home will help the coworker situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1837897 Tue, 26 Aug 2014 21:45:13 +0000 birdofafeather 1837897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: good luck! I hope it all works out! Since you love your job, I would keep putting feelers out with contacts and allocate time to refreshing my resume, linkedin, etc. Hoping something that works better for your family comes along, both in childcare options and work opportunities! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1837662 Tue, 26 Aug 2014 18:55:31 +0000 dagret 1837662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: good luck! I hope it all works out for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1837240 Tue, 26 Aug 2014 13:40:03 +0000 jedeve 1837240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: we have an IRA but I didn't have insurance with them. </p> <p>@dagret: yeah I do. I'm going to email some of my contacts and let them know I am available! Maybe it will work out for the best.</p> <p>Also, ironically today, is equal pay day and work keeps tweeting about the motherhood penalty. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1837111 Tue, 26 Aug 2014 12:50:02 +0000 looch 1837111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: i hope that works out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1837098 Tue, 26 Aug 2014 12:46:31 +0000 dagret 1837098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: I'm sorry, that just bites a big one. You work for a think tank right? I bet if you put feelers out in your network that there are tons of nonprofits that could use help - research/writing/strategy - that you could hang out your own freelance shingle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1837015 Tue, 26 Aug 2014 12:16:08 +0000 Adira 1837015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: Out of curiosity, will there be anything else that you'll be missing out on if you end up staying home? Was any of your paycheck going into health/dental insurance or a 401k or other retirement account?</p> <p>I'm sorry that you're kind of being forced into a decision. I hope you're able to talk to your boss about it soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1836983 Tue, 26 Aug 2014 12:06:09 +0000 jedeve 1836983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: that's what I'm going to do, offer to work on discreet projects and do it on the weekend/evenings/days my MIL can come down.</p> <p>Tried to talk to my boss today but she didn't have any time. Buggers. It's kind of annoying because I have some help with the toddler this morning and could talk and he sleeps all afternoon, but she wants to talk in the morning tomorrow when they are all awake and crazy. And I had worked up the courage to have the conversation about it today!</p> <p>My mom keeps talking to me about how it's so much better, and now lo2 won't get as sick in daycare, and with his torticollis I can do the stretches because "you know they won't do them. They will just tell you they did." Umm...ok? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1835558 Mon, 25 Aug 2014 16:13:18 +0000 Ginabean3 1835558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: I just want to say I'm sorry, this is such a hard thing to go through! Best of luck to you and who knows....maybe this is a sign that something better is yet to come career-wise! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1835541 Mon, 25 Aug 2014 16:04:33 +0000 Bookish 1835541@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: Reading your original post, I would have said that 400$ is still quite a bit of money, and it obviously helps your career to keep working. However, with your update that it's only 200$ (which while not 'easy' to find in a budget, is usually doable), yeah, it seems to make sense. </p> <p>I'm sorry you were essentially forced to make that decision :sad: It's not a good feeling to be stuck doing something, even if it does give you tons of time with your kiddos. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1835516 Mon, 25 Aug 2014 15:53:19 +0000 oliviaoblivia 1835516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: ugh! I'm so sorry it didn't work out better for you. I'd still keep in touch with the folks at your office to keep networks fresh in case you find a way to go back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1835501 Mon, 25 Aug 2014 15:45:10 +0000 jedeve 1835501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just talked to my daycare. It is worse than I thought. They must've changed the ratio for the toddler rooms, so the price is still the infant price. Meaning I'd only make $200 a month. </p> <p>I'm pretty bummed. I thought this was a job I would stay at as a career, but between the new hire situations and me not earning enough, I think it's time to just call it quits. </p> <p>I'll stay connected with people and might look for something in a year or so, or wait until we are done having kids and then go back. </p> <p>I'm going to call my boss tomorrow. I feel pretty bad about it, because they were paying me out of the sick leave fund. But on the other hand, I've been way underpaid compared to my coworkers and I am going to offer to finish a project and I can train someone new. </p> <p>Super ironically, the issue I was working on involved affordable childcare. </p> <p>Blah. My mom keeps talking about how it will be better for the kids, which annoys me. And I am annoyed when people say staying at home is a privilege, when I can't afford to work. </p> <p>I know I've kinda limited my own options, since we want one of us at home at least part time and DH doesn't want a nanny. But I am still kinda bummed. It's not that I'm not looking forward to being with the kids, but I liked my career. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1834375 Mon, 25 Aug 2014 10:00:34 +0000 youboots 1834375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is there something you could do from home on the side to make up the difference? I would for sure talk to your boss about doing some kind of flex time work from home if possible. At the end of the month you are making $4.16 an hour if you work 96 hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1834346 Mon, 25 Aug 2014 09:51:05 +0000 looch 1834346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you decided? I feel like you've hit the nail on the head with it all coming down to either time or money...either you're home and you have less money, or you're working and you have less time.</p> <p>Is there any way you can change your status to a contractor? You would be out benefits, but it might allow you to increase your hourly rate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1826306 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 18:11:00 +0000 KayKay 1826306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That sounds like a really tough choice! For me, I think it would depend on how much you would miss that extra $400/month. If things are already tight, even a small amount of money less would really increase my stress levels (but I'm a money worrier by nature...). If you think you can pretty easily absorb the loss of that income through other cuts, then it's probably worth the shot to leave.</p> <p>I'm also pretty risk-averse, so no matter what, I would probably start looking for something else right away...either to replace that job or to help make the decision between working/SAH. It's always good to have options. And, as others mentioned, it's good to consider your longer-term goals and how quitting/SAH might impact future job prospects, not just current finances...especially if you would consider returning to the workforce eventually.</p> <p>It's really hard/frustrating to be the only one left when there is a lot of turnover at work, especially if you liked the ones who are gone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1826275 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 17:55:58 +0000 sslm 1826275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For $400 I would stay at home in a HB. How long have you been on mat leave? Do you like being at home so far? If you tried it and it wasn't for you, how difficult would it be to get back into the workforce? All questions I'd consider, but for me, I would quit. Being miserable in a job tends to work its way into your home life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1826201 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 17:20:32 +0000 gingerbebe 1826201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Would the loss of $400 really stress you out that much RE: the money aspect? It seems like for that little, you could probably find things to cut in your budget to make up the difference. $400 for 3/4 times seems insane, unless you get amazing benefits or something.</p> <p>Can you get into some kind of arrangement with your employer where you can work mostly from home at half-time? Perhaps you can also negotiate to keep your pay the same if you go off their health benefits or something (and jump onto your husband's, assuming you don't do this already).</p> <p>Personally I would just quit, tighten the budget, and look for another job. It doesn't sound like you're happy with the current work environment and it doesn't like the place is that stable anyway with all the turnover and budgetary issues. This could be a blessing in disguise. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1826196 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 17:18:15 +0000 Mama Bird 1826196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you feel that it's just about the $400, you would probably be miserable going back and it's really hard not to bring your frustration home when you feel that way. Are there other things to consider though, like having a foothold in the job market, or health insurance? </p> <p>Whatever decision you make, don't beat yourself up about it later. There are upsides to both, and you can always reconsider! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1826177 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 17:03:32 +0000 Mommy Finger 1826177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure what industry you are in but if you were to leave the market, would you want to get back in at some point? Would it be hard to jump back in after a period off? I just saying that it could just be $400 a month now but I would also take these items into consideration. But regardless, it does sound like you need a change. It's never fun to work with difficult people.</p> <p>However, you have to do what's best for you family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1826166 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 16:55:26 +0000 katsupgirl 1826166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd say stay home and see if you can find something else. From personal experience being someplace with frustrating coworkers is not cool. I inevitably brought those frustrations home and it wasn't fair to my kid and husband. I'm now doing something different and its made my home life way better. </p> <p>Re: what you said about going back to finish a project. I'd bank that money and see what it would be like to live without that income. You'd also have a bit of cushion for when you quit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1826165 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 16:54:36 +0000 Ms.Badger 1826165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you do any of this work from home? Maybe you could hire a cheap nanny/babysitter because you'd still be there but they'd be occupied and you wouldn't have to deal with people that frustrate you as much </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1826162 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 16:51:01 +0000 mrsjyw 1826162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would stay home in this particular situation and look for other part time work that may offer a better solution and fit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1826155 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 16:48:36 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 1826155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What about getting back into the job market later (say, in 5 years when they're both in school)? If your field is one where it doesn't matter to be gone for a few years, then I say go for it! If not...might be better to keep your foot in the door.</p> <p>Just my opinion! I'm doing 16h a week at my job now just to keep our health insurance and foot in the door basically. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1826154 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 16:47:23 +0000 hotchildinthecity 1826154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh so you're already part time? Because part time was exactly what i was going to suggest. For three days a week and $400, honestly, i'd stay. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1826144 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 16:41:14 +0000 PurplePumps 1826144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think if the job is part time, I would continue to work it, even just for $400. That way you get some 'adult' time and a break from mommy duty during the day, you keep your foot in the door of the career, and $400 is still $400, or $4800/year. That's not *huge*, but not insignificant either imo. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1826138 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 16:35:26 +0000 brownie 1826138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What about something part time? Is that an option? I love working non traditional hours. I get the spend the mornings with my little guy and afternoons/evenings with adults. </p> <p>Yes there may not be a huge net money advantage BUT it is so worth it for my sanity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-advice-appreciated#post-1826134 Wed, 20 Aug 2014 16:29:53 +0000 jedeve 1826134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My job used to be my dream job. It's challenging, uses my master's degree, is something I am passionate about, very flexible and is part time. Then my ED quit, and so did the rest of the staff. And while all those big things are the same, the new staff is very frustrating to work with. I've been pretty unhappy with my coworkers for the last several months. </p> <p>I went on mat leave two months ago when my second was born. Our plan was I would return to work and both LOs would go to daycare. </p> <p>But honestly, the math just doesn't add up. I would only be netting $400 a month after daycare expenses. DH doesn't feel comfortable with a nanny, and there aren't really any other quality daycare options. We did ask one person we knew to be a nanny, but she can only work 15 hours a week. So with reducing my hours, I would still net the same. </p> <p>I am worried if I stay home, money will be too tight, I will feel badly about myself, be depressed and lonely. But I wouldn't miss out on my boys. I didn't feel like that after my first was born, but now he is more fun, and I feel like I get so much less time with number two, that I do want to be around them more. </p> <p>I am worried if I keep working, money will be too tight, I will just end up frustrated with my job and make DH miserable by complaining about it all the time. And I'll miss out on time with my boys. </p> <p>But really it comes down to time with boys vs. $400. I pretty much have to stay home, right? I need to talk to my boss about it soon. I think I am just going to tell her the money doesn't justify me coming back, but I would be happy to come back for a few weeks to finish the project I was working on (which I am really sad to leave) and help hire someone new. Realistically, though, they are facing major budget shortfalls and can't afford to pay me any more money, and they probably shouldn't hire anyone new....</p> <p>What should I do??</p> <p>Eta: I currently work three full days a week. </p>