https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 00:34:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts/page/2#post-1577057 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 09:29:09 +0000 yoursilverlining 1577057@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LittleFox: Agree with you; and I think you brought up a really, really important point. </p> <p>Unlike doctors, nurses and many other medical professionals and para-professionals; there are no across-the-board licensing and oversight boards, professional liability insurance requirement similar to malpractice, legal ramifications for giving unauthorized medical advice and no educational or training requirement of any sort – medical or otherwise for doulas or midwives in many states. </p> <p>It's kind of easy to say that women should be educated about their choices (and well, they *should* be) but I don't think it would be a bad thing to have licensing and training/education requirements across the board for those who are putting themselves out there as support professionals. </p> <p>@Mae: @Silva: Agree with both you ladies as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts/page/2#post-1577029 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 09:15:51 +0000 blackbird 1577029@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't even know that this story is wholly about the mother's wants, but more so about how all the "risks" were chalked up to minimum/no big deal. Like "oh they're just implementing fear mongering". And I will say, i feel like I see that a lot, even here. If a dr recommends an induction at 40 weeks, there's a lot of huff puff over why 41 weeks is better. Obviously this mother DID want a natural birth, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts/page/2#post-1577028 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 09:15:31 +0000 hummusgirl 1577028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: +1. The polio comparison is dead-on (literally). We are so, so lucky to live in this time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts/page/2#post-1577018 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 09:06:11 +0000 LittleFox 1577018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swedishfish: I agree that she shouldn't be practicing anymore, but doulas can't lose their license in most places-- they don't need to be licensed to practice so there is no license to lose. This one let her certification with DONA lapse in 2006 according to the comments, so I'm not even sure reporting there would help (certification is completely voluntary in many places, too, since it's an unlicensed profession). I think she should share the doula's name with the story, though, so other moms can try to avoid her.</p> <p>This is so scary! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts/page/2#post-1577006 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 09:02:15 +0000 Applesandbananas 1577006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is just horrifying. </p> <p>I will never understand putting your wants before the health and safety of your baby. I had c-section due to complications we were aware of prior to birth. I didn't fight my doctor on it, we had a meaningful discussion of the risks with all of the possible scenarios (c-section, vaginal birth, induction, etc.) and decided based on what was best for LO! </p> <p>I think wanting a natural birth is admirable but at the end of the day, healthy baby and healthy mom are what's best. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts/page/2#post-1576959 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 08:47:11 +0000 Boheme 1576959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: Yes, yes, yes! I wanted an intervention free birth, but it wasn't in the cards for me. My baby likely would have died without intervention (asynclitic presentation, posterior, stuck under my pubic bone, shoulder dystocia, etc) and I am forever grateful for the advances in medicine that allowed them to be possible. My doula was a godsend because she was able to transition from the intervention free mindset, to just staying with me, holding my hand, and explaining in depth what the doctor was recommending. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts/page/2#post-1576935 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 08:38:39 +0000 Adira 1576935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: Yes! I agree!!! I LOVED having a midwife at my birth, but felt soooooo comfortable and safe being in the hospital and knowing that if anything went wrong, doctors were RIGHT THERE! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts/page/2#post-1576926 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 08:31:33 +0000 lawbee11 1576926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: @Mae: Totally agree with both of you. I understand wanting an un-medicated birth (though I was personally all about the drugs!), but I don't understand putting your desires for an un-medicated birth above the health and safety of your unborn child. In the end I could not have cared less about how my baby got here as long as she was healthy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts/page/2#post-1576915 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 08:26:20 +0000 Silva 1576915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: well said </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts/page/2#post-1576894 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 08:16:03 +0000 Mae 1576894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: Agree. This is something that annoys me about the whole natural birth train of thought. The unending chorus of "we were BUILT to do this, we've been doing it for millions of years! we don't need help!" is sort of a simplification when you consider that maternal and infant death rates used to be much much much higher. Yes, I agree that we were built for this and that many women can give birth with no interventions and no problems. And I also agree that birth got way too medicalized in the 20th century and the gradual swing back towards more natural births is good (even in terms of say-- just an epidural vs. ether like they used to do with our grandmas). But doctors/hospitals save lives. It's one thing to have a plan/goal-- quite another to lose sight of the end game (healthy mom/baby) in pursuit of that goal. </p> <p>This is why I love the recent trend (in the US) of midwives delivering in hospitals. Best of both worlds IMO. All the support available for attempting a birth with no interventions, and all the interventions available if they are truly necessary! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts/page/2#post-1576893 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 08:15:52 +0000 junebugmama 1576893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a doula, I can't imagine ever recommending half of these things. It's so scary that someone wouldn't put the health of mama and baby, before everything else. I would also NEVER condone lying to your doctor. If you want to refuse something, just do that, but holy cow, be honest. This is terrifying </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts/page/2#post-1576881 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 08:09:34 +0000 Silva 1576881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Okay, my mind is still blown about blatantly lying to your doctor.</p> <p>Also, when did women stop being afraid of dying during childbirth, or having their children die? I know it doesn't happen frequently (because of DOCTORS), but it seems like people have forgotten that there is a real possibility there.<br /> Not to totally derail this, but its kind of like how people aren't scared of polio anymore.<br /> Logic fail, all around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts/page/2#post-1576875 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 08:06:36 +0000 Adira 1576875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is so scary. I'm so glad that her daughter is alive and well, but I just can't imagine ever making my own preferences for my birth to override the safety and health of my child. I'm glad this mother realizes the mistakes she's made and posted this story, but she definitely should have reported this doula! This is horrifying and she's lucky her child is alive! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts/page/2#post-1576859 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 08:00:54 +0000 Bluebonnet 1576859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A friend had a traumatic birth experience. It's a long story, but some of the same themes are present as this blog post. Her doula was anti doctors, hospitals, and western medicine. The doula encouraged my friend to lie to her doctors and nurses to avoid intervention. My friend and her baby are okay, but my friend had a very traumatic birth experience, that could have been avoided if she was honest with her doctor and the hospital staff and heard the facts about what was going on and why intervention was necessary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts/page/2#post-1576802 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 07:34:29 +0000 MamaMoose 1576802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: I know this wasn't the main point of your post but honestly I think it's crossing a line for a doula to have an opinion/preference of any sort on how Group B strep should be treated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts/page/2#post-1576762 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 07:01:15 +0000 Mae 1576762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: I'm guessing this is why doulas are banned at a lot of hospitals now. There really needs to be more oversight (and also responsible people reporting bad behavior!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts/page/2#post-1576749 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 06:28:20 +0000 loveisstrange 1576749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow. Just wow.</p> <p>I have to say, there was a point in my pregnancy where I was so adamant that I was having a natural birth that I started to sway anti-doctor. Thankfully, I realized I was being a dumbass before it was too late.</p> <p>I would have reported that doula in 2 seconds flat. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts/page/2#post-1576737 Fri, 18 Apr 2014 05:54:23 +0000 blackbird 1576737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My OB friend is talking about how lately she's been running into the "confrontational" ones who "pack up and leave" when it gets tough. Doula training can be minimal so I wonder if it's too easy to snag in the ones who like to work outside their job description? It's not like they really have a boss to say "hey, you're doing this wrong". </p> <p>Kind of like how I've had chiropractors try to tell how to treat my child's reflux. Not a ped-stfu </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts/page/2#post-1576636 Thu, 17 Apr 2014 23:11:27 +0000 Arden 1576636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This woman HAD to be fringe, I've never met a single doula who believes this about Group B Strep. Some of them prefer a different treatment (something that can be done pre-birth to avoid being on an IV during labor), but just not doing anything at all? WTH?</p> <p>And then with the water breaking... sigh. I understand not wanting to go the hospital and be put on the 24 hour clock, but days? That's completely insane. It boggles my mind that a woman trained in labor and birth could make such dangerous suggestions. </p> <p>She shouldn't be working anymore, for sure - simply because doulas ARE NOT MEDICAL SUPPORT and she was functioning outside of her role as a doula, VERY outside. A doula is supposed to be there for emotional, informational, and physical support. NOT making medical decisions for you. Grrr.</p> <p>Please know though guys, this is NOT the norm. At all. I've never met a doula like this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts#post-1576606 Thu, 17 Apr 2014 22:14:59 +0000 Dandelion 1576606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My midwife with S was a lot like this doula. I can see how this woman blindly trusted her. They use a lot of anti-doctor propaganda and pretty much "sell" you their ideas and then take gambles on their clients. I lost my baby because of it and I know of at least one other family that also lost theirs. </p> <p>I would've definitely reported this doula. DH and I have been taking action in our own story. This should not happen to anyone else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts#post-1576589 Thu, 17 Apr 2014 21:51:21 +0000 Grace 1576589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: That's true. I guess I just find it hard to condem someone when I couldn't even imagine being in their shoes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts#post-1576541 Thu, 17 Apr 2014 21:24:36 +0000 reverie 1576541@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well that was hard to read. I really hate the us vs. them mantra. Obviously, in the US there are a lot of unnecessary c-sections which is a shame b/c it leads to this fear mongering. I'm so glad for dr. google allowing me to educate myself and have informed opinions. Birth is a scary experience! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts#post-1576366 Thu, 17 Apr 2014 20:19:30 +0000 californiadreams 1576366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swedishfish: that was my reaction. </p> <p>It was a horrifying and traumatic birth story and I am glad her baby is ok. But before i got to that part i was like "why the heck is she listening to a doula when she has GD and Group B Strep?" that is beyond "naive" and i only blame her in that situation because she equally had a doctor and a doula telling her what she to when her water broke and she chose to listen to the doula???? i am having trouble wrapping my head around that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts#post-1576363 Thu, 17 Apr 2014 20:18:59 +0000 Mae 1576363@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, this is SO super scary! Both that the doula would do that, and that the parents were so "naive" as to just take her word for everything when she is not a medical professional! Unfortunately the super anti-medical-establishment thing is limited to doulas either. My cousin had a home birth midwife who did something very similar. Now, I understand that she IS a medical professional-- but she instructed my cousin to labor at home for more than 48 hrs after her water broke, constantly discouraged her from going to the hospital when she wanted to, and then when she finally DID go to the hospital 2.5 days after her water broke the midwife told her to lie about when her water broke. Luckily mom and baby were fine (after an emergency c-section) but people really need to be their own advocates in choosing who to help them and who to trust with their birth. </p> <p>(Not that I'm anti-midwife bc I'm not-- I'm actually going to a midwife practice. But there is a difference between trying to minimize unnecessary interventions and abandoning modern medicine that can help save your kid's life) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts#post-1576332 Thu, 17 Apr 2014 20:11:09 +0000 MamaMoose 1576332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Grace: I don't know, while I think she does put a lot of blame of herself I think she certainly recognizes the doula's guilt. And she made a conscious choice not to report because she was concerned about backlash. That's inexcusable in my mind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts#post-1576281 Thu, 17 Apr 2014 19:52:13 +0000 Grace 1576281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: I do agree that she should report the doula, but I don't know. She has to be pretty traumatized by the whole thing. She seems to be placing all the blame on herself and none on her doula. Perhaps she's still not in a place emotionally to deal with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts#post-1576263 Thu, 17 Apr 2014 19:43:06 +0000 swedishfish 1576263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: I think questioning is great but flat out going against medical advice is scary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts#post-1576256 Thu, 17 Apr 2014 19:40:31 +0000 Kemma 1576256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swedishfish: I think I read in the comments that the Doula had failed to renew her certification after 2006.</p> <p>The woman placed her trust in her Doula and her Doula grossly betrayed that trust. Having said that, I'm a member of several "crunchy" FB groups and it scares me how anti-OB and anti-pedi some of the members are. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts#post-1576247 Thu, 17 Apr 2014 19:36:31 +0000 MamaMoose 1576247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swedishfish: absolutely! It's terrifying to me that she's out there continuing to advise pregnant mamas! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-dos-and-donts#post-1576234 Thu, 17 Apr 2014 19:31:03 +0000 swedishfish 1576234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: true...she needs to lose her license though. </p>