https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 08:56:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-proscons#post-2663836 Sat, 10 Dec 2016 18:30:51 +0000 Bernieboo 2663836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had a doula and I recently told DH that I want her for every child we have. She's the second person I'll tell whenever we decide to get pregnant again lol! She was amazing!!! I really had my heart set on a natural birth, but then I had to be induced at 37 wks bc of my BP and everything got crazy. I had had near constant, unproductive contractions for 18ish hours when she got there. She was really helpful for me in making a decision about how to move forward. Also, I was worried about DH not eating and resting and I was able to really pass that off to her to keep track of. She even helped coordinate when it was good for my dad and best friend to rotate in and give my mom and DH a break. She also knew how to switch my position up to help the baby descend and was great at coaching me to labor down and push. When we have more kids, I expect my parents and/or my best friend will be taking care of them so we'll have even more need for our doula. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-proscons#post-2663818 Sat, 10 Dec 2016 15:50:30 +0000 Portboston 2663818@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a doula and she was worth every penny. I was in back labor for the majority of my long labor (36 hours) and there was no way my husband could sustain pain management massage for that long. So him and my doula traded off. She supported all of my decisions including eventually getting pitocin and an epidural. She was amazing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-proscons#post-2663784 Sat, 10 Dec 2016 11:54:42 +0000 MrsA 2663784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our doula is a family friend so it was a given that she'd be there. Honestly, if it were just me and DH I think I would have had a much different birth experience. Our doula really helped with pain management techniques which was so needed for my unexpected back labor. DH wouldn't have had a clue what to do. She's on call for when DS comes and I'm so glad to have her. Our room was just me, DH, and the doula for the most part. Good team. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-proscons#post-2663775 Sat, 10 Dec 2016 11:28:43 +0000 Cole 2663775@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We thought about it and had even started to book one but at our birth class I freaked out when I saw a video of a woman in labor with like eight people in the room. I knew at that moment I wanted only my husband. That being said- I gave birth at a birth center and I knew I didn't need an advocate (unless I were to have needed a c section which thankfully wasn't the case) since the things that were important to me were standard there. </p> <p>My labor was quite short so I was mostly glad we skipped it but the woman we had planned to use is also a homebirth midwife and frankly probably more competent than the midwife who ended up on duty and she probably would have been able to tell me to get to the hospital sooner which would have been better than pushing in the car then waiting for an hour at the hospital while complete for someone to show up to deliver me. In fairness-this was impossible to predict and it's unlikely this would be the case in your situation but apparently I am still annoyed with that midwife. </p> <p>I am definitely planning on a post partum doula this time around though. That sounds heavenly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-proscons#post-2663703 Fri, 09 Dec 2016 21:41:07 +0000 Iced Tea 2663703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think if it's a choice between no doula and a practically free doula, I'd take the doula! Her whole purpose is to do whatever you makes you comfortable. So if you decide in the moment that you aren't comfortable with her being present, then you can send her on an errand (go pick up some food for your husband, maybe?), give her a chore to do, whatever. </p> <p>You could have her just step in to relieve your husband periodically so he can use the restroom, eat a snack, or take a nap if labor is lengthy. </p> <p>Another option is to ask her to be your "sibling doula", to provide loving support for your child. Then your mother can be a support person for you if you would prefer that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-proscons#post-2663702 Fri, 09 Dec 2016 21:35:25 +0000 peaches1038 2663702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't use one because it was really important to my husband that he be the one to support me. I tried to explain to him multiple times that she would be there to support him as well, but he was adamant. He did an awesome job but I think having a doula would be really nice! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-proscons#post-2663690 Fri, 09 Dec 2016 20:35:41 +0000 Alba4 2663690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We used one for DS1. She was worth every penny! I decided to not hire one for DS2, only because I had placenta previa and I was expecting to need a c-section. My condition was resolved by @ 34 weeks, and by then I just didn't hire one due to it being late in the game. My husband did a great job as my birth partner for #2. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-proscons#post-2662705 Thu, 08 Dec 2016 09:31:42 +0000 mrsrain 2662705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I loved our doulas (had one for each birth). BUT I'm not sure I'd be comfortable using an acquaintance! Using somebody whose whole relationship with you is based on your pregnancy and birth makes it feel less weird to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-proscons#post-2662704 Thu, 08 Dec 2016 09:31:03 +0000 snowjewelz 2662704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Never really considered it since it's not really in budget to spend on something that's not really necessary to me. I felt very comfortable with all the nurses/doctors at the hospital, and my family was also there for support. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doula-proscons#post-2662703 Thu, 08 Dec 2016 09:27:27 +0000 nana87 2662703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Did you use a doula, or think about it and decide not to? </p> <p>For lo1, we didn't use a doula--dh and my mom were my "support" people and it worked well. I'm a little shy (particularly about my body or showing vulnerability) and bad at asking people for help. Also, I really trust my doctor's practice, and the midwife who was on call for most of my labor and birth was amazing at supporting my wishes. This time around, my mom will be watching lo1, so we were planning on it just being dh in the delivery room...Except yesterday, one of our favorite former daycare teachers told me that she's training to be a doula and offered to be ours for free* :shocked: We already know and trust her--she's amazing with lo1 and has a lovely, calm demeanor--but there's a difference between trusting her with our child and like, her seeing me in pain and all sweaty and naked, lol. She mentioned both labor and postpartum--I think postpartum might def be a go since she'd be so helpful with helping us balance lo1's and lo2's needs while I recover--but I'm not sure about labor!</p> <p>*we would probably insist on paying her something anyway </p>