https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 10:18:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doulas-and-dads#post-1165885 Tue, 22 Oct 2013 11:12:39 +0000 math.nerd 1165885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: Thanks for the suggestion! I will definitely look into that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doulas-and-dads#post-1165869 Tue, 22 Oct 2013 11:07:54 +0000 Boheme 1165869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@math.nerd: I'd contact some local midwives or post on some related Facebook groups in your area if you'd be comfortable with a newer doula. They have to complete a certain amount of births to obtain their certification, so they do those births free or at an extremely reduced rate. We had a doula who was completing her DONA certification. She was ahhhh-mazing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doulas-and-dads#post-1165852 Tue, 22 Oct 2013 11:00:14 +0000 math.nerd 1165852@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all for the great feedback! I've set up a few meetings with potential doulas. I think that meeting face to face (all three of us) will really help us get a sense of what we'd be getting for our money.<br /> That's the other part that's so intimidating - the cost!!! I've gotten a few fees back from some people that I've contacted and now I'm worried that we'll both want a doula but won't be able to afford her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doulas-and-dads#post-1165223 Tue, 22 Oct 2013 08:01:36 +0000 maybebaby 1165223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband said he won't have another baby WITHOUT a doula. She was so great at being a support but making sure it didn't interfere with the special time for as a couple and then family of three. Often times she would be the physical support (offering massage/counter pressure on back/hips) while DH was face to face with me offering the emotional support. When J was born she took pictures of our brand new family that we wouldn't have had otherwise, the pictures that mean most to me in the world. When I had to stay longer in L&amp;D for stitches and recovery before being transferred, doula stayed with me while DH took J to get cleaned up. She helped use get settled in our PP room and was simply amazing. More than anything, she listened to our priorities in our birth plan and helped us have the birth was had hoped for.</p> <p>ETA: I second PP in having your DH help interview so he finds someone that he also clicks with! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doulas-and-dads#post-1165175 Tue, 22 Oct 2013 07:33:59 +0000 JoJoGirl 1165175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The doula is there to support both of you, not just YOU. So in the meetings you'd have before birth, you guys will all get on the same page about how their role will work together instead of as either/or. We specifically had this conversation with our doula because we didn't want DH to feel like a third wheel, and she did an amazing job - she showed him how to massage, apply pressure etc and asked him to do it.. then when DH was overwhelmed/needed a break/etc she stepped in. That's her job, not just to take over! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doulas-and-dads#post-1164791 Mon, 21 Oct 2013 21:18:55 +0000 luckypenny 1164791@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our doula was a god send! DH &amp; I also took Bradley and he was very "hands on" but with a 28 hour labor for start to finish he was glad he had someone to take turns with the back rubs. I also found myself angry with her more than him. She offered new positions for us to try and kept us both hydrated/fed. </p> <p>There was a point in my labor that got really scary and the nurses led DH &amp; I to believe that baby was in serious danger. It was very traumatizinf. After the doc came in and reassured us everything was ok, he left (I later learned to cry and throw up and then talk to his mom) and the doula was able to stay with me the whole time. He then returned after 45 minutes or so refreshed and ready to help me push :) she also greatly advocated for us with the doctors and nurses. My husband actually likes having her there more than me in the end lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doulas-and-dads#post-1164779 Mon, 21 Oct 2013 21:11:13 +0000 MrsScottish 1164779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are ttc and I have told my DH that I want to hire a doula. I had these concerns!! My husband is type 1 diabetic and stress makes his sugars go crazy!! I do not want to have to be worrying about him and I don't want my mil there hovering over him- it totally stresses him out! So I would really like one more person there that can keep an extra eye on my husband! I also want someone who has been there before and can walk us through it. My husband is a follower, and has said that he needs to be told to do things. His words not mine!! I have a friend with a8 month old who used a doula and I will for sure me phoning her to chat with her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doulas-and-dads#post-1164767 Mon, 21 Oct 2013 21:02:11 +0000 Boheme 1164767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had a Bradley birth with a doula, and let me tell you - my husband appreciated her as much or more than I did! She gave him breaks, gave him support, got us snacks and drinks, made sure we felt affirmed, you name it. Any time his confidence wavered, she was right there. Anything my husband forgot, she had a gentle reminder. LOVED her!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doulas-and-dads#post-1164676 Mon, 21 Oct 2013 20:22:05 +0000 bhbee 1164676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I say do it! Husband would absolutely agree.</p> <p>We were also Bradley folks and I understand the hesitation since it really focuses on partner as coach. but we LOVED having a doula (actually got her name from our Bradley teacher) and my husband always says it was worth every penny. it helped us both relax so much and they could tag team, which meant a lot in a long labor (I never had to be left alone, DH got a short nap at 4am, etc). there were also certain things I was happy for her to do, like come with me while I had contractions in the bathroom - even in labor I didn't want my husband seeing that! like others she also took some pictures right when LO was born. she helped calm me down after my water broke while laboring at home and things geared up really fast and DH had to go get the car in the rain. she held my hand and helped with contractions while he parked at the hospital. just all these little things have to be handled and it's hard for your husband to do everything at once the whole time. I still felt like he was 100% there for me and a great coach.</p> <p>maybe follow the suggestion to meet with some doulas? we clicked with ours pretty fast, but had a list of questions anyway and one was around discussing her role vs DH's role. she was totally on board that she was there to do what we ask for help with, and step back when we want to, and she did a great job of that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doulas-and-dads#post-1164527 Mon, 21 Oct 2013 19:20:48 +0000 mrbee 1164527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was able to take a nap during Bee's labor with our first, thanks to the doula... that sold me right there haha! (Bee was sleeping at the time after getting her epidural - I wanted to watch over her, but the doula was there so she could watch over her and wake us both when Bee woke up.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doulas-and-dads#post-1164523 Mon, 21 Oct 2013 19:18:00 +0000 Weagle 1164523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH was on board but still a little unsure about having a doula. Now he's a bigger fan than I am. Having her there took a lot of pressure off of him and he was able to focus on me more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doulas-and-dads#post-1164486 Mon, 21 Oct 2013 19:07:41 +0000 Mrs. Confetti 1164486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Pretty much ditto to Mrs. Jazz....my doula helped both of us. Helped to find the best way to put counter-pressure on my back and then helped show DH how to help. They each took a leg when I pushed. She took pictures once C was born, while me and DH bonded with him. All and all an amazing investment :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doulas-and-dads#post-1164476 Mon, 21 Oct 2013 19:01:41 +0000 mrsjazz 1164476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@math.nerd: It helped my husband for us to have a doula. She supported both of us. He was my primary coach and she helped him. They both took turns giving me back rubs and giving me water and reminding me to breathe. They gave each other breaks. My doula reassured him. She took care of me when he had to deal with hospital staff. They were a tag team, I think of them as my two head coaches. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doulas-and-dads#post-1164451 Mon, 21 Oct 2013 18:55:05 +0000 PurplePeony 1164451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We haven't had our baby yet either, but my DH is actually the one pushing me to hire a doula! He really wants someone there who is familiar with birth and who can give him the support he needs to be able to effectively support me. He compared it to the KitchenAid mixer he got me as a gift -- ostensibly for me, and I do love it, but he's the one who really gets to enjoy the benefits of it, haha. I think that, in spite of the prep we're doing, he worries how he'll react when we're actually in the moment and wants someone to be able to say "that's normal, it's ok" or "this might be a great time for some light touch massage" or whatever. We're doing Hypnobirthing, not Bradley, so I think the expectations of the hubby/partner are somewhat different but not totally different...but even before we decided which birth class to take, he was really into the idea of a doula. If you think of her as a support person for you both, not just for mom, maybe he'll be more on board with it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doulas-and-dads#post-1164373 Mon, 21 Oct 2013 18:21:56 +0000 indi 1164373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We haven't had our baby yet, but I had these same concerns. I really think the biggest thing is to have him involved in picking the person that will be assisting you. I found the 2 or 3 that I liked best, and have scheduled coffee/lunch dates with each of them with DH and I so he can get a feel for their personalities and their take on how they can assist the mom/couple and respect the dad's place. I know my husband was much more comfortable with the idea after I explained it to him that way. </p> <p>I hope you find some great options! I'm sure there are bees here with tons of great info and experience, I will be following this thread for sure! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/doulas-and-dads#post-1164365 Mon, 21 Oct 2013 18:18:30 +0000 math.nerd 1164365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hello all!</p> <p>My husband and I are currently taking Bradley Method classes and really liking them. I'm really interested in getting a doula - I want to walk into the hospital and delivery feeling confident and powerful and I think having an extra person there who knows the drill would be a great way to accomplish that goal.</p> <p>My main concern is about my husband. He's totally on board with Bradley and with doing anything in his power to help us have the birth experience we are looking for. But he's still apprehensive about a doula - and I totally understand his concerns. I really want for him to be my main coach and support during labor. I want him to feel confident and powerful throughout the process as well.</p> <p>My question is this: If you had a Doula, how do you feel it impacted your partner's experience? Did they feel less involved? More involved? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated! Thanks all! </p>