https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 27 May 2026 16:51:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dreading-conversation-with-mom-help#post-466033 Thu, 27 Dec 2012 05:40:51 +0000 T.H.O.U. 466033@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only thing I would say is that I loved having my mom there right away for all those newborn / first time mom questions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dreading-conversation-with-mom-help#post-465931 Wed, 26 Dec 2012 23:41:38 +0000 BlueWolverine 465931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Talked with Mom this evening, and it went really well. She responded well to the "I'm going to need you more at about three weeks." She even mentioned on her own that DH, BG and I will have some good bonding time in the week that DH is off. She was very flexible about the time she was taking off of work, so it worked out well. </p> <p>Thanks, everyone, for the advice! Those who wanted their moms around early made me feel better if we couldn't change the date, but it was also great to hear from those who wanted mom to wait and had to have the conversation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dreading-conversation-with-mom-help#post-465921 Wed, 26 Dec 2012 23:23:48 +0000 yoursilverlining 465921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you definitely should talk to her, and be honest and say what you said here about wanting time to bond as a family first. My MIL (who I love and adore and is amazing) came the day after LO was born and I really, really wish she had not. It was so stressful to have someone/anyone else in our house with us when we were trying to figure LO out and figure parenting out and trying to bond. I feel like her visit caused so much tension so early on that could have been easily avoided if she had just waited even 1 week to come. Even though MIL was easy-going and didn't ask anything of us and cooked and ran errands for us; it was stressful as hell to have someone right there that soon after birth. If this is something you are already concerned about; I think you should definitely talk to her and be firm. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dreading-conversation-with-mom-help#post-465909 Wed, 26 Dec 2012 23:14:51 +0000 keiki_mama 465909@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is something I wished I'd put more thought into. Looking back, I should have asked my mom to come after we had time to settle in as a family. I'd so be direct but emphasize how wonderful it will be to have her around after you've settled in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dreading-conversation-with-mom-help#post-465827 Wed, 26 Dec 2012 22:22:38 +0000 immabeetoo 465827@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd be direct - and for me week four was exactly when my mom came and when I needed her. Adrenaline was gone and I was in need of support! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dreading-conversation-with-mom-help#post-465812 Wed, 26 Dec 2012 22:10:55 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 465812@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok this probably won't help much, but I felt the exact same way. When my mom talked about coming I asked that she please wait a few days because DH will be home and we want to get settled in. It wasn't as big a deal as I had made it out to be in my head.</p> <p>But then, when the time actually came, she booked a flight and arrived the day we came home from the hospital! SO not the plan. And it was exactly what you said- I didn't really need the help yet, ended up sequestered trying to BF upstairs. Then two weeks later when I actually needed the help I was on my own. </p> <p>All that to say, maybe since they are driving just tell them to hold off somehow? Or don't call in early labor? Or let them know that the doc adjusted your due date for a few days later? I don't know. For us we couldn't do anything about it because we were presented with "I bought a plane ticket", so then we just had to deal with it. Wish you lots of good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dreading-conversation-with-mom-help#post-465787 Wed, 26 Dec 2012 21:45:58 +0000 erwoo 465787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was the opposite. I wanted my parents around. Maybe bc they live so far ( half way around the world). It was nice not to have to worry about meals so my husband and I can focus on taking care of the baby. I figured we would have our time alone after they left -1.5 months later. And when we had our second I was even more glad they were here to help take care of our oldest while we were at the hospital for 5 days. There are definitely pros and cons to having family right after having a baby. Sometimes it did get stressful but I just dealt with it since its not every day I get to see my parents for an extended period. Hope you and your mom can work something out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dreading-conversation-with-mom-help#post-465497 Wed, 26 Dec 2012 16:28:50 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 465497@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't mince words. I just stated when we would be available. People complied. No need to worry about others at that point. It's the one time in life when you get to think about baby and no one else! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dreading-conversation-with-mom-help#post-465496 Wed, 26 Dec 2012 16:25:04 +0000 MamaMoose 465496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't dictate a time. I would just say you want a little time to settle in before you have company. Tell her you understand that she can't take time off at the end of Jan but you hope she'll come when her schedule allows.</p> <p>However I will say that for me the first week was FAR and away the hardest. I really appreciated having my mom here. She cooked and cleaned so my husband and I could focus 100% on baby. And my hormones were crazy and I had a ton of anxiety so it was great that when I was having a rough time my mom could take the baby while my husband helped me calm down. And lastly it was just nice to have a mom around to ask questions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dreading-conversation-with-mom-help#post-465482 Wed, 26 Dec 2012 16:14:20 +0000 BlueWolverine 465482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom lives about 1200 miles away and I'm really looking forward to her coming to visit for about a week after Baby Girl (BG) is born. I also feel very strongly that I want at least a week at home alone with just me, BG and DH. DH just started a new job, so he's probably only going to get a week or so off, and I really want that to be time just for us.</p> <p>Aside from all that, I hope to be breastfeeding and I don't want to worry about whipping it out in front of my mom or my stepdad (whom I love and is coming as well) or sequestering myself in a room every time I want to feed BG in the beginning when we're just starting fo figure it all out.</p> <p>Finally, I've heard from a ton of people that I'm really going to need help around week three or four, after the adrenaline has worn off and the sleep deprivation is really getting to me. I think I'm going to take this tactic with her. As of right now, I'm due Jan 12 and she plans on arriving (they're driving) on Jan 18. Too soon. I also feel I'll go later than the 12th - my due date is based off my LMP but I know I ovulated late in my cycle. I tried telling her this already, but she says her boss won't let her have the time off at the end of the month. So, my perfect solution is that she comes in the beginning of February.</p> <p>How do I approach her? I want her here, but not immediately. I'm thinking about going with the "I'll really need you in the beginning of February..." </p>