https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 23 May 2026 13:09:55 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-286203 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 11:35:01 +0000 googly-eyes 286203@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm 22 and due in a week! Only my parents and one friend asked if it was planned, but everyone is happy and excited for her to make her entrance! If people do talk, I'm sure it's not the most important thing they talk about in their day, and I don't hear about it so it doesn't affect me. (I honestly don't think there are that many comments, because when I got married young, it was obvious that people were talking. They aren't that great at hiding it!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-286168 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 11:19:39 +0000 polkadots 286168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I got pregnant while I was engaged at the age of 20, so we pushed up our wedding and I had LO when I was 21. I know people talk and it bothers me, but I have to tell myself that it doesn't make me any less of a mother. Yes, we are young (I am 22, DH is 25) but we love and provide for her and that's what matters. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-286162 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 11:15:31 +0000 sorrycharlie 286162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we are 24 and expecting our first any day. we were married last july at 23. we got a lot of judgment when we announced which was SO annoying.</p> <p>we don't own a home, but that doesn't impact what type of parents we will be. if anything, we're saving money over people in our area who rushed out and bought because it was "the right way to do things". they're now struggling with all the extra costs of home ownership. where we are, we can afford for me to stay home.</p> <p>I was also annoyed by the judging because I have my bachelors and master's degree, and DH works full time as an electrician. he'll be licensed in the next month or two, as soon as he gets his test date.</p> <p>judging of any parent based off sillyness annoys me - age, breast v bottle, cloth v disposable, cio v not, natural birth v not, etc. i will admit I judge but I keep it to myself. I wish more people would do the same! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-286161 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 11:14:11 +0000 Honeybee 286161@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had my first at 25, but since I look pretty young, I did get some comments/questions by random strangers. DH and I are definitely younger than our other parent friends (who are mostly in their 30's), so sometimes we feel like the odd ducks out. Most of the time, it's not an issue, though. We're pretty comfortable with our choices. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-286157 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 11:11:41 +0000 sunny 286157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Fwiw, I got asked by my PCP if my baby was planned and I was 30. Although it may have been because I had no idea when my last period was. :-P</p> <p>But yes she was planned. I just didn't know I was supposed to keep track of the LMP! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-286156 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 11:09:58 +0000 Running Elley 286156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally missed the people asking if baby was planned question. How rude! I’ve wondered before about it regarding some of my friends but I would NEVER ask!</p> <p>Our LO was definitely planned. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-286147 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 11:06:47 +0000 Mrs. Pen 286147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I got pregnant at 21, and had my baby at 22. I'll be 23 in a couple weeks :)</p> <p>yeah I did get asked if he was planned (anyone else think this question is really rude?!), and he was!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-286133 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 10:59:01 +0000 stargal 286133@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>im 25 and im 24 and we just had our lo 2 months ago. he was completly planned. no one has questioned us BUT i did get/do get tons of looks when im out bc i look bvery very young (like teen mom young) so i def see the judgement in peoples faces. o well, little do they know </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-286116 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 10:52:17 +0000 Running Elley 286116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: Same story with us.</p> <p>I’m 23 and due next month. DH is 27 though. No one ever questions our age because we are settled in every other way. We both have good jobs (though I’ll be staying home after baby), we’re married and we own our home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-286106 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 10:49:19 +0000 wheres_c 286106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: Ugh! I'm 29 and in a 3-year relationship. Not married or engaged because SO has been saving for a ring.<br /> I have been asked the "Was it planned?" question over and over. HOW RUDE!<br /> Yes we planned to have children. Due to me not ovulating or having a period within the past year we thought it would take a lot longer than it did!<br /> &lt;/rant&gt; </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-285846 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 09:23:23 +0000 DillonLion 285846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm 25, so I guess I'm at the tail end of being a young mom in this circumstance, but no one has given us any grief about it. We just got settled very quickly (graduated college, bought a house, got married, got pregnant all in a 3 year span)</p> <p>No one has said anything about us being too young since we have all of our other "ducks in a row" so to speak. I have been asked a couple of times if it was planned but it doesn't offend me since we got pregnant just a few months after we got married. I think it just comes with the territory there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-285842 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 09:22:43 +0000 jedeve 285842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've crossed the great divide so I'm no longer early 20s, but 26. But I still feel really young! My husband and I just finished law/grad school this spring and had started TTC a few months before. In retrospect, I wish I had a little more time before the baby comes to get a job. I haven't been able to find work from a combination of poor economy/being pregnant, and at this point probably won't get something before the baby comes. It makes me feel pretty ridiculous that I'm 26 and have never had a career track position, although I've worked plenty!</p> <p>I do worry that people would judge that we don't have enough money for a baby. We were struggling this summer since I wasn't working anymore because I graduated and my job ended and my husband didn't start his job until August. No one has made any comments to us, but it's weird because John's aunts and uncles who are 42/44 and 31/47 had their first kids just recently. </p> <p>I'm a little sad to miss out on a fabulous time in my 20s - going on childless vacations, going to bars, travelling, seeing the world, establishing a career, etc. But we'll be able to afford the travelling stuff much more when we retire and have kids out of the house younger. Plus health was a big concern for us. I think our bodies are designed to have kids a little younger than what society deems appropriate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-285818 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 09:13:12 +0000 looch 285818@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Minnie_Girl: yes, you wrote it so perfectly. It also doesn't end once the baby is born, people feel the need to comment on the size of the family. You wouldn't believe what some people think about the fact that we plan to only have one child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-285762 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 08:50:58 +0000 Minnie_Girl 285762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm having my first baby at 24 and the pregnancy wasn't planned, so score one for the cliche. It happens. ;) Ironically, not a single person has asked or suggested that baby was unplanned. </p> <p>First you're too young, then you're too old, and there's never a hot second where everyone thinks you're doing the right thing. People need to focus on making their best life, and forget the well-meaning but ill-fitted advice of the Joneses. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-285757 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 08:49:37 +0000 Mrs.B 285757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had DS when I was 19 unplanned from a bad relationship. Met DH soon after having DS now I am happily married and pregnant with LO#2 at the age of 23. Everyone knows LO was planned. DH is alot older then me so his clock was ticking ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-285744 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 08:44:20 +0000 LuLu Mom 285744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At 27 I am older than most, but we got the "was it planned" question too due to the fact we got pregnant less than a year after getting married. Yes she was planned, DH is 33 so we didn't want to wait a long amount of time! Such a rude thing to ask I think! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-285647 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 08:03:50 +0000 sunshineandsushi 285647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At 25, I guess I'm not considered "early 20's" anymore. DH is 27 and we've been married for almost 3 years, so I have no concerns about whether people think our twins were planned. I guess if we were older, we'd be getting questions on whether we had fertility treatments to conceive them! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-285616 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 07:46:27 +0000 lomom 285616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rawrasaur: Congratulations! :)<br /> We celebrate our one year wedding anniversary this month, but we also celebrate four years of being together this month. Plenty of time, IMO. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-285605 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 07:34:26 +0000 Andrea 285605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: they are my parents so they can ask me anything but I was a bit annoyed that this was their first question! yes, more people need to learn how to use a filter! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-285596 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 07:25:05 +0000 rawrasaur 285596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am 24 and my husband is 25. I think age and how long we have been married (1 yr in Oct) are the things I'm most insecure about. I know it is right for us and we have all our ducks in a row, it is just the thing people seem to have such an opinion on - and yes I have been asked if it was planned.</p> <p>ETA - We are due in December. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-285587 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 07:03:25 +0000 lomom 285587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'll admit that I do wonder, in my mind only, whether some babies were planned or not. But I have a filter! I dont understand why these filters are so scarce these days... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-285580 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 06:59:54 +0000 Andrea 285580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in my 30s, already have a 2 year old, and am pregnant again. My parents' first question to me being pregnant again "Was it planned?". I know it's not the same but you get inappropriate questions at any age! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-285578 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 06:58:31 +0000 lomom 285578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My family understands that I've always been a few years ahead of my peers (graduated with my Bachelors at 19 and got engaged a month later to a man 11 years older than me) so I'm not worried about them being anything but thrilled. Like Beyond2 said, you really can't judge a book by its cover, but I feel like strangers will definitely judge! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-285575 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 06:52:28 +0000 JoJoGirl 285575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>FWIW, i have a good friend who got pregnant at 38 with her then-boyfriend. People asked HER if it was unplanned just because they weren't married yet!! They got engaged and married before she had the baby and I found out after the fact she had IVF!! Talk about planned. So don't worry so much about it being age-ism, people are just rude sometimes when things stray from their view of "traditional". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-285568 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 06:29:39 +0000 meredithNYC 285568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes! I would hope nobody would ask whether the baby was planned. That's just so rude no matter the circumstances.</p> <p>For what it's worth, I'm not a young mom (was 30 when LO was born), but I totally understand the desire to have children young. I was not ready in my 20s, but I don't judge those who were! It's also very much a regional thing, I have noticed. The friends I grew up with in Indiana tend to have a couple of children already, whereas my friends in New York either don't have kids or don't start until they're in their 30s. In my mom group in Brooklyn, I am one of the youngest.</p> <p>There's really no right or wrong way to do it and both ways have their benefits. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-285563 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 06:15:23 +0000 Beyond2 285563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I are 24 and about to have our little one any day now. I do get some odd glances at my pregnant belly and questions about planning. Our child was very much planned so that irritates me. I spent my whole life thinking I'd married at 18 and have my first kid at 21 so it doesn't seem to young to me(I really bought into the high school sweetheart idea lol). Instead I graduated with honors, went to college, got a business degree and completed my master's degree, got married, paid off all debt for my husband and I and then got pregnant. Every time someone questions I want to tell them all of that. You really can't judge a book by it's cover! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-285556 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 06:07:17 +0000 creativemomma15 285556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am 23 and have a 6 month old son. My husband is 25 but we both look pretty young. We sometimes got looks when I was pregnant and still probably do, but I try not to worry about it. I kind of worried about it when I was pregnant and people probably thought I was some teenager who got herself pregnant, but you learn to let it go. You and your SO know that your little one was planned and is loved, that's what matters! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-285553 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 05:59:05 +0000 Rosie Girl 285553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had DS 2 months before my 21st birthday! I think it is almost harder now, at 25 though, having him so young. He just started preschool this week, and I am probably THE youngest mother there! I think I get more looks now then I did at 21 with a baby! People will always talk and question, but you learn to brush it off :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-20s-mommies#post-285551 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 05:52:35 +0000 lomom 285551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was reading a post on weddingbee about under-25 brides and when they planned to start their families. I'm feeling like the odd gal out at 21 &amp; pregnant lol. Im also really starting to worry about being asked if LO was planned (yes, very much so).</p> <p>Anyone else in their early 20s and expecting or ttc or already a mommy? </p>