https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 15 Apr 2026 00:54:57 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-715290 Sun, 14 Apr 2013 21:46:57 +0000 Crisark 715290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-714520 Sun, 14 Apr 2013 16:10:35 +0000 LovelyPlum 714520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH was having a really rough night last night, so I showed him this thread. He was really amazed at how many people had reached out. Y'all made him smile, so thanks!</p> <p>@Running Elley: I'm sorry you had to do this twice...the thought of doing it again literally scares me to death. I got blood work done last week, and they are going to check P levels. Also, I did decide to go for a run today...short, but it's a first step! </p> <p>@Bao: @sorrycharlie: @coacheswife123: @yerpie110: @autumnlove: @BabyBoecksMom: @spaniellove: @MungBean: thank you ladies :) Really, truly, thank.s</p> <p>@FutureMrsMcK: I can't even imagine this after a year of trying. You are strong, lady! </p> <p>@wheres_c: Thank you for that! I think at this point, my biggest fear is that this will just keep happening. I know rationally in my head that this could just be a one time thing, that it's not necessarily indicative of a bigger problem. But I guess I shouldn't be shocked that that voice has been drowned out in the last few days. </p> <p>@Sugar.Biscuit: holy geez. You are one strong woman. I don't know if I could have done that. They baptized a baby in our church this morning, and while I wasn't angry, it was emotional. The worst was at the end, when they said a prayer over the new mother. I would be lying if I said that I didn't almost cry then.</p> <p>@yin: thanks lady. This community really is the best.</p> <p>@artbee: I like the rock idea! Well, we don't have a porch, but I really like the idea of getting something to remember the baby. DH liked it too, so we're now on the lookout. Thanks for the idea!</p> <p>@78h2o: that's a good idea! I actually had a friend who did the same, passed the baby, and their minister hooked them up with a local funeral home who helped women who had miscarried with a memorial service twice a year. They also helped by (burying? cremating? something, not sure what). I know it helped her. I didn't pass anything, but the idea of commemorating is a very good one.</p> <p>@erwoo: This was our first, too, and I'm not sure how I feel about trying again. Sometimes, I want to Right. Now. Others, I can't imagine doing this again. I think I just need some time to pass before I can think about it clearly. The good news is that I have a ton of work to keep me busy. The bad news is that I have zero desire to do it. But I'm trying, and that's what counts, right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713816 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 23:09:21 +0000 erwoo 713816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry to hear about your loss. The first time it took me a while b/c both my husband and I didn't know how to communicate with each other about how we felt about it all. I remember being so annoyed with my husband b/c he kept asking me every 5 minutes how I was feeling after I had to get a d&amp;c b/c it just wasn't coming out naturally with medicine. The whole process took about 2 weeks to resolve and then the period I had the next time was so heavy I had to go buy a new pair of pants during work. </p> <p>It took me a while to want to try again. I think b/c it was our first time miscarrying it was the hardest. We did successfully get pregnant about 7/8 months later and had a baby boy. Followed was another miscarriage and then I had another baby boy. So I had two miscarriages and two boys. I still can't believe I've been pregnant on and off for 6 years. The second miscarriage was easier since it was the same kind of miscarriage (nothing in the sac) I had the first time so I knew what it was. No d&amp;c that time. Also, I was so busy taking care of my oldest that I didn't have time to mourn. </p> <p>Hang in there and take it day by day. Try to find something to keep you busy. Start something new like a book or hobby or something to keep your mind busy. I think I just buried myself in work after my first... Big hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713807 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 22:56:04 +0000 78h2o 713807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: love that idea with the rock! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713803 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 22:45:05 +0000 78h2o 713803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: I'm so sorry. I had a loss at 7 weeks and it was very difficult. The things that helped me most were a) I went away with my husband for the weekend. We mostly just hung out at the hotel, lounged/read, and walked on the beach (it was Feb) b) we had a little memorial for the baby, just the two of us. In my case, (sorry, this is TMI) the embryo came out intact, so we buried it in a park and said a few prayers. I also found it helpful to talk to my sister and others who had had miscarriages. </p> <p>One good thing is that you are supposedly more fertile after a loss. I got pregnant with my LO the first month we tried again after our loss. She is the most wonderful baby and the light of my life!! If not for the loss I experienced, I would never have had her, so I feel like things worked out the way they were meant to!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713798 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 22:37:54 +0000 pinkcupcake 713798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm very sorry for your loss :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713794 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 22:35:59 +0000 LovelyPlum 713794@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone :) I'm finding that I've been all over the place the last few days. Some moments are very up, others are very down. Thanks for the giant virtual hug-I needed it tonight. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713628 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 20:34:04 +0000 spaniellove 713628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713583 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 19:54:46 +0000 heffalump 713583@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry for your loss. It took me a good two months until I was not crying randomly every day. And then there's always the due date, its always a hard day, even though it was 3 years ago for me. </p> <p>One thing that did help me was getting a rock. I felt like without a funeral there's no closure. Jews put rocks on gravestones instead of flowers, so I found a nice rock and wrote a message to my lo on the bottom of it. It sits in my front yard by my porch so I always see it walking in the house or when I'm playing with my lo out front.</p> <p>hope you find something to give you some closure! But I wouldn't try to rush the grieving process. That's a huge loss and you should take as long as you need! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713573 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 19:48:29 +0000 yin 713573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry for your loss. I went through a miscarriage back in June, and it was absolutely devastating. I knew of the possibility. I've heard of people going through it, but nothing could prepare me for the feelings and emotions I felt. I spent a day mourning and could barely even function. It was difficult, but the one thing that helped was this community. I was able to reach out to Hellobee, and it felt so good to have everyone's support through such a rough time. It may take days, weeks, and even months for things to be back to normal. Take your time to mourn. We're here to support you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713568 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 19:43:13 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 713568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have any advice but want to let you know that I'm so sorry for your hurt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713540 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 19:28:48 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 713540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry for your loss! We had an early MC in January &amp; it crushed us! I wrote a few posts about it. I actually miscarried while I was at work. I couldn't take time off so I had to go about my day like nothing happened. My female coworkers thought I was just having a bad period. It took me a while before I could use the bathroom again &amp; not imagine the large clot that I found that day.</p> <p>I still get angry sometimes especially when we are at church &amp; see happy, healthy families. Its okay to be sad &amp; its okay to feel what you are feeling. For me it will never go away but it will &amp; has gotten easier. ((Hugs)) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713527 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 19:18:08 +0000 wheres_c 713527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry for your loss. I have no advice on handling an early mc..but when/if you are ready to TTC again, know it is possible to carry a pregnancy to term with PCOS. I don't think the worry will ever go away until you see a little baby in your armsbut it is possible. I took Metformin and Progesterone during the first tri and now have a healthy baby boy.</p> <p>I wish you the best of luck healing, and if you have any PCOS questions I will try to help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713486 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 18:41:23 +0000 autumnlove 713486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713483 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 18:39:43 +0000 yerpie110 713483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So so sorry :( sending lots of hugs to you and your DH during this tough time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713417 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 17:40:48 +0000 Running Elley 713417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, regarding your questions.. I think it took more than a month for the rawness to fade for me. In the meantime what helped me was focusing on what I could do to help the next time go better. I also focused a lot on other hobbies... Tried new recipes, went on longer runs, planned date nights- basically anything to keep my mind off of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713416 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 17:40:21 +0000 pl0508 713416@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so so sorry. You are in my thoughts </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713415 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 17:40:11 +0000 lovehoneybee 713415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so very sorry for your loss. </p> <p>It took me a long time to process our loss. We'd been trying for close to a year at that point, and I was devastated. It took two or three weeks before I stopped crying myself to sleep every night, and about a month before I felt like it would be okay. And then I got my first period and lost it again. And then when I found out that one of our neighbors was pregnant with #4 and due on my due date and I lost it again. </p> <p>I really don't feel like I got over it until I got pregnant again 3 cycles later.</p> <p>Every day that passed got a little bit easier, though. And it was much harder on me than DH...after so long he was just grateful to learn that we could get pregnant at all. </p> <p>Big hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713412 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 17:39:02 +0000 sorrycharlie 713412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. I don't have any advice but wanted to give you a hug! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713411 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 17:38:50 +0000 Bao 713411@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so so sorry :( hugs to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713409 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 17:38:30 +0000 Running Elley 713409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: I'm so so sorry that you're going through this :( There's nothing like it and its truly horrible. I also have PCOS and suffered 2 early losses while TTC for #1. My problem ended up being low progesterone which was caused by my PCOS. Once my doctor was able to get me on supplements strong enough to keep my P elevated I was able to carry a pregnancy to term. It's definitely worth getting checked out. Emotionally... I don't think there was really anything that helped me other than time. Even though it always will hurt to think about what could have been it does get less raw over time. Feel free to post to my wall if you need to talk. You'll be in my prayers! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/early-loss#post-713403 Sat, 13 Apr 2013 17:33:48 +0000 LovelyPlum 713403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, here we are. I'm sorry if this is long, or has TMI, but I'm hoping that maybe it will help me to process. Thanks in advance for reading.</p> <p>For as long as DH and I have been thinking about TTC, we've both known that nothing was a guarantee. I have PCOS, and I know how complicated that can make TTC. I know there's no way to predict these things, but somewhere deep down, I was just always afraid to assume it would be easy for us. </p> <p>More than not being able to conceive, I worried about miscarrying. Would it be painful? Would I be able to handle it emotionally? We recently started TTC, and these thoughts were always in the back of my mind. It was especially bad during the TWW. My body was changing, I was hopeful, I was so excited, but I was also telling myself not to get too attached, that even a BFP did not guarantee a baby in December. In short, I was a complete mess.</p> <p>Fast-forward to this week. After three straight days of BFNs and the subsequent doubt that maybe it was all in my head, I got my BFP. DH and I were in total shock. We had only just started TTC, and we couldn't believe it had happened so quickly. We decided to wait until I could take another test with FMU on Thursday before we told our families, but I couldn't help but be giddy all day.</p> <p>Wednesday passed with a whirl of excitement and emotions. I couldn't concentrate on anything and couldn't wait to get home to see DH. We were both still in shock, I think, when I started spotting very faintly before bed. I got nervous, but a quick search of HB showed that lots of people spot early. I took some Tylenol and decided that what my body really needed was rest.</p> <p>By Thursday morning, I knew that wasn't the case. My BBT plummeted, and I was crampy and passing lots of clots. Instantly, I just knew. An hour later, we were at the doctor's, and they confirmed our worst fear: I had miscarried our baby.</p> <p>The last few days since then have been a blur. Both DH and I have had our ups and our downs, but mostly, we just ache. Not sharp pain, but a dull, deep ache, that I don't know how to make go away. I feel like I'm walking around with a hole in my heart that no one can touch. We told our families, who have been great, but there is only so much they can do over the phone. I took Thursday and Friday off from school, but we've decided to try to do some normal things today, to get back in the routine. I know it takes time, but I had to do something to keep from going crazy</p> <p>How long did it take you to get back to a normal routine after a loss? What helped you to feel better? I know that things will get better, but in the meantime, how did you cope?</p> <p>Thanks again for listening. </p>