https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 02 May 2026 16:33:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/elementary-school-how-to-shift-schedules-to-ease-stress#post-2848831 Wed, 03 Oct 2018 05:38:37 +0000 Pollywog 2848831@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We faced this. Our solution was to have different schedules on different days. What are your husband's rules about start and end times? Can he spread out hours over 5 days without having to do a 5th full day in the office? I can't start work until 630, so what I'd do is keep the morning the same and they days he's in the office the same. On the days he's home I'd have him do an 8 and get the kids at 330 . On his Friday I'd do 4 hours from home. I'd see if you could shift your schedule an hour earlier on days he's in the office to get the kids earlier and have him do drop off.</p> <p>I think it's crucial to get both kids earlier if possible. That's just too long of a day for most kids (and many adults). Having a nanny is one option, but it's way better to have a parent.</p> <p>Also, absolutely not to having your daughter home while he's trying to work. Three of my colleagues thought that was a good idea. Their kindergarteners were largely good, but they were constantly interrupting conference calls and needing attention. It stressed out the dads and my boss was pissed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/elementary-school-how-to-shift-schedules-to-ease-stress#post-2848809 Tue, 02 Oct 2018 21:58:19 +0000 Corduroy 2848809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: We’ve already dealt with a lot of in-service days and half days. Like K this week, M-Thurs this week are half days and Friday is a day off. I don’t see how a nanny could keep up with the randomness of that schedule (but I’ve never had a nanny so I don’t really know). I think I would need to keep DD in afterschool care for some part of the day to ensure she had coverage for all the atypical schedule days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/elementary-school-how-to-shift-schedules-to-ease-stress#post-2848755 Tue, 02 Oct 2018 17:58:33 +0000 PinkElephant 2848755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a SAHM whose husband has started trying to work one day a week at home to help out with my/our family's craziness and stress level, I'd advise against it. I find it really stressful to be sure I'm keeping kids quiet (i.e. not playing loudly! not eating lunch and chatting loudly! not coming in or out of the house rowdily!) at key moments in his workday such as conference calls that aren't necessarily predetermined when the day starts. I feel like I get NOTHING done but child management during those times, and as much as I love seeing him in the morning, at lunch time, and for a family dinner on those days....sometime it feels like it really derails the kids and my schedule, though I'd never say it to him.</p> <p>If the numbers work out, I think it'd be better to have a babysitter managing that situation as opposed to you, and you can keep your job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/elementary-school-how-to-shift-schedules-to-ease-stress#post-2848741 Tue, 02 Oct 2018 17:26:59 +0000 Mama Bird 2848741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I think a nanny and a good lock on your husband's office door are the best answer. He does have an office with a door, I hope?</p> <p>Never mind that if you don't have a nanny, there has to be some way to deal with school holidays, early dismissal days and snow days. Not sure how much of this you've dealt with so far, but it's pretty bad in our school system. I never realized how easy we had it with day care. Last year it's been one half-baked pathetic care arrangement after another, and we're planning to either do something with my work hours or find a nanny down the road. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/elementary-school-how-to-shift-schedules-to-ease-stress#post-2848724 Tue, 02 Oct 2018 15:20:01 +0000 Corduroy 2848724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gestalt: I don’t think DH would consider dropping the 4/10s - at least not until I price out a nanny. </p> <p>A nanny/sitter seems to be the solution to look into. I could see that taking a lot of pressure off. Financially I could see it making a lot of sense in two years when DS is in school too. The way preschool pricing is set up we wouldn’t be able to save much on DS. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/elementary-school-how-to-shift-schedules-to-ease-stress#post-2848712 Tue, 02 Oct 2018 15:05:53 +0000 QBbride 2848712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would get an after school sitter. Seems like a no brainer to me! Someone that can let your daughter chill for a bit, help her with reading/homework and get started on a simple dinner so the kids can eat earlier. Also it won’t disturb DH as much having someone to look after DD. </p> <p>My son just started K and it’s been a real transition. He used to go to bed at 8 (or even 8:30 in the summer) but now he has to go to bed at 7 or he’s a total disaster. </p> <p>I work shift work so my schedule is all over the place, but I find our evenings are a lot smoother if I’m home to make dinner earlier. The kids aren’t as hungry/tired and everything works out better. I try to start at 5pm if I can!! Good luck. This transition has been tough and I was used to my son going to daycare for the past 4 years! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/elementary-school-how-to-shift-schedules-to-ease-stress#post-2848709 Tue, 02 Oct 2018 14:57:48 +0000 gestalt 2848709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is there any way he can move to a 5 day work schedule so the days aren't so crazy?</p> <p>I work from home 4 days a week, and tried starting my day at 7am, helping my husband between 7:30 and 8, then doing pick up at 3:30, hoping she would be able to be independent for 1 hour without interrupting me while i do work. Sometimes this doesn't happen if we have a crappy sleep night and i won't really start my day until 8. I collaborate a lot with my colleagues in different parts of the country. If someone needs my attention in the afternoon i have to worry about my kid interrupting a call or meeting. I think it's unfair for me to not schedule any meetings after 3pm just because my kid is home. The numerous breaks in the day were starting to take its toll on me so we made the decision to use the after school care program.</p> <p>Quitting your job is quite extreme of a solution although i can empathize with how you and your husband are feeling right now. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/elementary-school-how-to-shift-schedules-to-ease-stress#post-2848695 Tue, 02 Oct 2018 13:52:03 +0000 Anagram 2848695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: I would get a before school or after school sitter. I know it seems impossible to find, but you may be surprised at the amount of people who need extra cash but can't work full time (a student in a local community college, for example).</p> <p>We have a sitter that works 7:30-8:45 am, and again 2:30-4:30 pm (and until 5 pm on Mondays because I work a bit later). I leave for work at 6:45 am and the kids are usually just waking up/brushing teeth at that point. So my husband is responsible for brushing their teeth and feeding them breakfast before 7:30. At 7:30, the sitter comes and she dresses the girls and does their hair and gets their backpacks together (I pack all lunches and snacks the night before). At 8,, they leave for the very short walk to DD1s school for drop off, then she hangs out outside with DD2 until she can drop her at 8:30 am. THen our sitter has college classes 9-12 am 3 days a week. So she does that, then comes back to our house by 2pm or so to drop her stuff and get snacks for the kids, then she's back out for after school pickup for DD2 at 2:30 and DD1 at 3:00. Then they usually play at the park or have play dates with neighborhood friends. They only come back home if it's super bad weather. My husband occasionally works from home, and our sitter makes every attempt to keep them out for a while after school, so the girls don't bother him. She also takes them to dance 1x a week--but could that be an option for you too? Having a sitter and signing them up for some classes or having them do free stuff like the public library, parks, etc?</p> <p>For us, paying for a sitter for 18 hours a week is almost the exact same price as paying for before-and-after care for 2 kids in our school district. But it's so much more convenient. It really outsources a good amount of "mental load", because our sitter will text me reminders that she hears from the teacher like, "Don't forget it's picture day tomorrow." or "the book fair money is due tomorrow". Even little stuff like "You are almost out of toilet paper". Because seriously, my husband never notices that stuff.</p> <p> It's really helpful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/elementary-school-how-to-shift-schedules-to-ease-stress#post-2848692 Tue, 02 Oct 2018 13:45:33 +0000 Corduroy 2848692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: Oh, DH said if I were to quit my job and SAH we would move to a bigger house where he could have a more separate office. Ha ha ha - with what money? I gave him a giant side eye and said we could replace the doors if we really needed to do something. In my book he could just drive to the office if it’s that big of deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/elementary-school-how-to-shift-schedules-to-ease-stress#post-2848691 Tue, 02 Oct 2018 13:43:15 +0000 Corduroy 2848691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: If he picked her up early I would expect her to be fairly independent. We would probably set up a certain amount of reading time, screen time and outside play time. I wouldn’t expect her to be 100% independent but probably have 1-2 interruptions in the two hours she would be with him 2x a week. She can watch tv independently for 8 hours (what a talent!) and she regularly plays with the neighborhood kids independently. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/elementary-school-how-to-shift-schedules-to-ease-stress#post-2848688 Tue, 02 Oct 2018 13:37:59 +0000 Corduroy 2848688@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: It seems like him working earlier should solve things but when I play it out in my mind it seems like I’m trading a stressful evening for a stressful morning. Here’s how I see it. DH starts work at 6:00. I get both kids up and out the door by 7:30am (I’m assuming it would take me longer than it would take 2 of us and I have to leave the house by 7:30 or we’re trapped by school traffic).. Two days a week I would have to do so fairly quietly while he’s working. I would drive DD to school - walk her and DS across campus to before school care - walk back to the car and strap DS back in and drive to his school. I would start work at 8:15 which means leaving at 5:15 and getting home around 5:45. DH gets both kids 5:00-6:00 and I’ll be more relaxed because I didn’t do pickup. Am I missing benefits here? (I hope that doesn’t sound sarcastic- I’m genuinely trying to figure this out). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/elementary-school-how-to-shift-schedules-to-ease-stress#post-2848686 Tue, 02 Oct 2018 13:32:25 +0000 Foodnerd81 2848686@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: so if he took a break and picked up your daughter, she’d be home alone with him working for a few hours anyway? I can’t imagine he would be able to get the same amount of work done that way. It seems like the perfect solution would be a local babysitter of some sort that would take your daughter back to their house, so she gets chill out time but is away from your DH working. </p> <p>Are there things he can do at home to make the evenings easier- like put dinner in the oven so it’s ready as soon as you get home? You could prep the night before but it would save time, yet not take up too much of his work time to preheat the oven and stick it in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/elementary-school-how-to-shift-schedules-to-ease-stress#post-2848685 Tue, 02 Oct 2018 13:32:11 +0000 ChitownRo 2848685@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’d advocate for nanny or au pair instead of daycareand before/after school care. They can do drop off and pick up ( still have the kids do K and a few hours of preschool), do light chores and help with dinner prep. I have similar age kids and they need to be in bed by 7 or they are disasters (wake up at 615). We just had an au pair join us and it’s great so far!! Also I work from home one day per week but just close the office door. It’s fine. I do try to bring snacks up though. Out of sight, out of mind (for the kids attention) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/elementary-school-how-to-shift-schedules-to-ease-stress#post-2848683 Tue, 02 Oct 2018 13:26:31 +0000 Madison43 2848683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That is a long day. Question - why would a babysitter/nanny at home with the kids disrupt your husband anymore than you and the kids would if you quit your job? If anything, I would think that you being at home would be more disruptive bc a babysitter would naturally keep her distance whereas one spouse would have not problem bothering the other spouse. I wfh 2 days a week and we have a nanny and no one bothers me (not never, but not a lot). By contrast, when my husband is home, he is constantly in my office asking about random nonsense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/elementary-school-how-to-shift-schedules-to-ease-stress#post-2848682 Tue, 02 Oct 2018 13:23:02 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2848682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: If I'munderstanding this right everything could be solved by him working earlier or taking a break. In our household that would be a no brainer. I don't think you should quit work. I stayed at home to solve all these problems (dh has a totally inconsistent schedule, for example last week he started at four different times and one of them was 1am so I feel for you with everything not lining up conveniently!) and it just makes new problems! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/elementary-school-how-to-shift-schedules-to-ease-stress#post-2848678 Tue, 02 Oct 2018 13:17:30 +0000 Corduroy 2848678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My family’s schedule is not working for us right now. DD started K this fall and although we kept the same hours as daycare and preschool it just seems to be too long of a day for her and too much for me. </p> <p>DH works 4/10s and does the majority of his weekday parenting on his day off. He has DD that day 12:30-6:00. He also walks DD to school at 6:50 every morning to start work as close to 7am as possible. He works from home two of his 4 days. </p> <p>K is 8-1:30 and she goes to before/after care 7:00-5:30. DS goes to preschool 7:15-5:30.</p> <p>I WOH. I leave home at 7am with DS. I work 7:30-4:30 and pick up the kids 5:00-5:45. Both of their care providers could go as late as 6:00pm. DH works until 6:15 on days he is home and gets home 6:30-6:45 on the two days he commutes. Kids are in bed by 8.</p> <p>The kids are exhausted at the end of the day. Usually one of them is screaming when we get home. Pick up until dinner time is nuts. Driving in traffic, making dinner, reading practice (homework is done Friday), and needy 3 year old all at once. </p> <p>I could change to doing both morning drop offs so DH could get out of work earlier but he’d have to start work so early to make an appreciable difference at the end of the day. I’m worried I’d just be screwing up our morning for nothing. </p> <p>DH thinks me quitting my job is the best way to solve the issue. We could swing it for a while financially but I don’t really want to. Plus, I see that as the ultimate deflection of mental labor by making the whole stress of the family my issue to solve. </p> <p>I’m considering pitching to DH that he take a 20 min break from work in the afternoon around 3 to pick DD up and walk her home. That way she gets a few hours to decompress and rest and ease into any remaining homework. </p> <p>I thought about a nanny/babysitter but they would disturb DH working at home. </p> <p>Am I missing a way to adjust the schedule? </p>