https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 08 Apr 2026 19:21:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/experience-with-gestational-carrier#post-2893356 Fri, 02 Aug 2019 12:53:28 +0000 Mrs. Starfish 2893356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yellowbeach: Yes, definitely. We had to think through that too and we even made a separate batch of embryos that were tested for any transfers to a GC for that exact reason. I totally understand your line of thinking and that definitely seems like the right call to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/experience-with-gestational-carrier#post-2893354 Fri, 02 Aug 2019 12:46:52 +0000 yellowbeach 2893354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok, you ladies have helped me really try and think through some of this to see if I should seriously explore this or not, and the answer is definitely no. Here's the main reason why:</p> <p>This person is anti-abortion, and I am pro-choice. As many of you know, we had to TFMR for T21 last year, and if faced with the same situation again, would likely make the same choice. These are untested embryos. You see where I am going with this... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/experience-with-gestational-carrier#post-2893326 Fri, 02 Aug 2019 08:51:52 +0000 Mrs. Starfish 2893326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi there! Here is a post that I wrote that includes a basic outline of the things that are generally required to be a GC. <a href="https://www.hellobee.com/2016/11/21/requirements-to-become-a-surrogate/" rel="nofollow">https://www.hellobee.com/2016/11/21/requirements-to-become-a-surrogate/</a></p> <p>I don't want to scare you but reading @MamaBear87: comments, I also have a friend who had a pretty tough surrogate situation with someone who she knew personally before the experience. She started demanding just really strange stuff, like lobsters weekly! Anyway, hearing her story at the beginning of my journey really made me feel strongly that I preferred a NON-friend for that role.</p> <p>I'm happy to answer any questions you might have about the GC process. I'm really sorry that you're in this situation. For what it's worth, doctors advised me really quickly to have a surrogate so I'm wondering if you might not need one if your doc hasn't suggested it... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/experience-with-gestational-carrier#post-2893315 Fri, 02 Aug 2019 07:00:39 +0000 yellowbeach 2893315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaBear87: 😳 I know you need tight contracts for this sort of thing, but I hadn’t thought about some of the nuances. Definitely a good family law attorney is the only way you ever make this work. What a nightmare story for your cousin. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/experience-with-gestational-carrier#post-2893305 Thu, 01 Aug 2019 23:52:51 +0000 MamaBear87 2893305@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Completely anecdotal but my cousin was unable to get pregnant and they had a friend offer to carry for them. They were super excited as it meant they didn't have to wait as long to save up for a surrogate since they had already spent a fortune on ivf.<br /> It started out fine but quickly became a really terrible experience. Despite knowing this woman for years she was just horrible once she was carrying the babies. She went on anti anxiety and depression meds without consulting them, she would call at all hours demanding things. It was not good. Then she insisted on a vaginal delivery (with twins) and greatly endangered both herself and the babies. It completely ruined their friendship. My cousin wishes they had just paid to have a surro. </p> <p>If you seriously consider it I would make sure you have an ironclad contract as you would if it was someone doing it for money. And make sure you discuss everything you can possibly think of before you decide on anything </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/experience-with-gestational-carrier#post-2893304 Thu, 01 Aug 2019 23:08:38 +0000 yellowbeach 2893304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So out of no where yesterday a nurse I work with who knows our fertility struggles threw it out there fairly casually (but meant it seriously) that she would be happy to be a gestational carrier for us if we wanted. Somehow it’s not something I’ve ever thought about because our doctor hasn’t recommended it as I was able to get pregnant twice and don’t have any spontaneous miscarriage history. </p> <p>Does anyone have experience with exploring and/or utilizing a GC? I feel like I should at least run through some of this in my head since she was kind enough to make such a generous offer. </p>