https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 04 May 2026 15:50:56 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/explaining-death-to-a-25-year-old#post-2822155 Sat, 12 May 2018 22:44:54 +0000 kitty 2822155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I was 7ish and my grandmother died my parents explained that she wasn't comfortable at the end of her life and now she wouldn't be in pain anymore. That has really stuck with me, and although it's not relevant in every situation it helps me remember death is not the worst. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/explaining-death-to-a-25-year-old#post-2822119 Sat, 12 May 2018 16:00:06 +0000 Hypatia 2822119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We just had this talk with my four year old. We were careful not to associate it with old news or sickness for the same reason. She suggested it was like going to sleep, and we tried hard to explain that the two were not related because we've read kiss can develop fear of sleep because of that. </p> <p>We said that death is when your body stops working, and that it's like when one of her toys runs out of batteries or you blow out a candle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/explaining-death-to-a-25-year-old#post-2822118 Sat, 12 May 2018 15:55:40 +0000 gingerbebe 2822118@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We ARE religious so I don’t personally have any help here, but someone I know used the concept of “all done” and “bye bye” to their child in the context of death because their child understood that idea from like eating or finishing a project and knew how to say goodbye. They just kept repeating “Grandpa is all done. He went bye bye.” And they might show pictures of him and say “bye bye” and kiss the photo on the phone or something, but didn’t use sickness, an afterlife, or even real sorrow to describe it because they didn’t feel a 2 year old understood deep grief personally. They did say MOMMY is sad, can Mommy have a hug? Or something like that because the 2 year old understood comforting and empathy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/explaining-death-to-a-25-year-old#post-2822117 Sat, 12 May 2018 15:27:01 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2822117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lilyofthewest: Thank you. I'll look for this episode tonight. </p> <p>@catgirl: Thank you. And I'm so sorry to hear about your great aunt. Turns out this is much harder when there's a little kid involved asking questions. </p> <p>@mrswin: This makes sense. She's already very concerned with people being sick (she still brings up my bout with the flu in February at least a couple of times per week) so one of my bug concerns was a fear that every time anyone got sick they would die. She's very familiar with doctors and hospitals from her own experience, so she does understand that he is in the hospital and the doctors are trying to make him better, which is still true at this point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/explaining-death-to-a-25-year-old#post-2822110 Sat, 12 May 2018 12:13:40 +0000 mrswin 2822110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: I’m sorry you are in this position. We have dealt with a couple of deaths and everything I read says to focus on a simple and clear explaination. In our case we have tried not to tie death to being old or sick because for kids it is very hard to understand the nuance. Everyone is “old” when you are 3 and they don’t understand the difference between sick with a cold and critical illness.</p> <p>In our case we explained to DD that so and so died because their body stopped working and that people were sad because we will miss them and can’t see them anymore. Be prepared for her to ask where he is a lot, even weeks later, the finality seems to be very hard for them to grasp. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/explaining-death-to-a-25-year-old#post-2822109 Sat, 12 May 2018 11:08:12 +0000 catgirl 2822109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DD is a bit older, she's 3.5, but we faced this last week when my great aunt died. She was more like my grandmother and DD knew her well. </p> <p>We made sure to keep language very simple and clear. We are not religious so no talk about God, heaven, or a "better place." We said she died, she was very old, she is not on earth anymore, and when you die you cannot come back. </p> <p>We used the Daniel tiger episode about blue fish and the Sesame Street episode about Mr. Hooper. </p> <p>I also found this link helpful</p> <p><a href="https://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-talk-to-your-preschooler-about-death_65688.bc?page=2" rel="nofollow">https://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-talk-to-your-preschooler-about-death_65688.bc?page=2</a></p> <p>So sorry about your grandfather. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/explaining-death-to-a-25-year-old#post-2822107 Sat, 12 May 2018 10:28:01 +0000 lilyofthewest 2822107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There's a Daniel Tiger episode (and book) "Remembering Blue Fish" that my kid enjoyed when he was a few months shy of 3. </p> <p>I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. It is extra hard when your own grief is complicated by how to explain it to a LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/explaining-death-to-a-25-year-old#post-2822106 Sat, 12 May 2018 10:08:05 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2822106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, my 93 year old grandpa had spinal surgery a couple of weeks ago and he has developed pneumonia and congestive heart failure post op. He's back in the hospital now and treatments aren't working. Everyone is talking about hospice. </p> <p>My 2.5 year old knows him well, as my parents are my primary childcare a few days per week and they live with him. She knows he's been not feeling well and has been concerned. Assuming he either stays in the hospital or comes home on hospice care, I need to figure out what to say to O. Her language is very good, but of course she has no concept of death. We are not religious. Ideas?? I have no idea what's age appropriate. </p>