https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 16:11:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/explaining-discipline-differences-to-a-3-year-old#post-2572072 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 11:34:14 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2572072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: @MrsSRS: I like the approach you two take when it comes to this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/explaining-discipline-differences-to-a-3-year-old#post-2572067 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 11:30:57 +0000 Silva 2572067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've kind of run into this at the grocery store! My daughter asks a lot of questions about why parents are yelling at their kids. It's super uncomfortable for me. I usually try to hustle to the next aisle, and then I say something like "it seems like she is feeling angry or frustrated with her son, in our family we try not to talk to each other in that way, but every family is different." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/explaining-discipline-differences-to-a-3-year-old#post-2571903 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 08:39:24 +0000 Alivoo01 2571903@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: YES!!! We're in the thick throws of the Trying Three's and omg! My mom just laughs at everything and brushes it off and makes US look like the bad guys. Says stuff like, isn't mommy mean??? WTH!? Not cool so yea... I too angry, red faced yelled at my mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/explaining-discipline-differences-to-a-3-year-old#post-2571848 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 07:56:28 +0000 MrsSRS 2571848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We use analogy too, with a solid transition at the end if we want to try to avoid questions at the moment: at Aunt Joanie's house you are allowed to jump on the sofa, but at Grandma's you aren't. Different houses have different rules. When you aren't making good choices, Mommy and Daddy do X to help you learn. Other families do Y or Z instead of X. Now, would you like to color or do blocks? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/explaining-discipline-differences-to-a-3-year-old#post-2571821 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 07:29:34 +0000 looch 2571821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I usually begin with a totally different topic that my son understands, which is that some people play with toys in a different way and that also applies to other aspects of life.</p> <p>For some reason, he gets that analogy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/explaining-discipline-differences-to-a-3-year-old#post-2571806 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 07:19:28 +0000 regberadaisy 2571806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alivoo01: it's the whole Chinese grandparent thing, I swear! DH has gotten SO mad he has to go outside to regroup. I legit yelled at my mom the last time because DD1 was being SO defiant. Time out isn't everyone's cup of tea for discipline but it works very well for DD1. She needs the time to calm down and regroup. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/explaining-discipline-differences-to-a-3-year-old#post-2571802 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 07:16:28 +0000 Alivoo01 2571802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: OMG! My parents and DH's parents/aunts are notorious for "rescuing" our kids from time out. Makes me so mad! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/explaining-discipline-differences-to-a-3-year-old#post-2571799 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 07:10:37 +0000 regberadaisy 2571799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tell her "that is how their parents do it but not how we do it. Every family is different."<br /> Sometimes it ensues tantrums and sometimes it doesn't. To be honest, at that age it is less about "understand" than to be defiant and try to get out of whatever you deem reasonable for "bad" behavior.</p> <p>My family comes visit often and we visit them for extended periods of time. My nephew (same age as Dd1) is parented very differently. He basically gets away with everything. They never do time outs and we do. My mom can NOT stand to hear a child cry. I have flipped out on more than one occasion when she has let my child out of time out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/explaining-discipline-differences-to-a-3-year-old#post-2571793 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 07:06:20 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2571793@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So recently I am discovering that pretty much everyone we spend a lot of time with is pro-spanking and pro-time out. We don't use either of these strategies, and my 3 year old is starting to notice and ask questions when he sees things that other parents are doing. Usually I just give him a short answer about what they are doing (time not, we have not been around any spanking) and move on and it is no big deal. </p> <p>In October we are going on a week long vacation with one of these families, and I am sure with the change of environment all of the kids (4 of them 3 and under) will have some challenging behaviors. Since we will be there longer with them and my son will be several months older by then, I am sure there will be more questioning...</p> <p>How do I explain these things to a 3 year old in a way that isn't judgmental or disrespectful to our friends? We love them and they are wonderful parents. I don't want them to get the impression that I feel like they are doing something wrong, even if it isn't for us. I am just not sure "Different families have different rules" is going to be an explanation that ends the conversation when he asks.... </p>