https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 08:42:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help/page/2#post-2644184 Fri, 28 Oct 2016 07:37:21 +0000 Banana330 2644184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: My daughter is 18 months. Around 15 months she dropped to one nap a day around 12:30 for 2ish hours. She goes to be around 6:30 sometimes she chats or babbles in her crib for 30-45min but we just leave her. She sleeps until 6:30.. </p> <p>It sounds like you really need to improve the sleep hygiene, naps in the crib, earlier bedtime, even wake her in the morning if needed to get her on a bit of a more predicable schedule. If you don't think you can do it alone, I know lots of people who have hired a sleep consultant to help figure out a plan and help execute it. </p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help/page/2#post-2644105 Thu, 27 Oct 2016 22:32:57 +0000 Bluebonnet 2644105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: 9:00-9:30 sounds like a really late bedtime for a toddler. I think bedtime is supposed to be roughly 11-12 hours before you want them to be awake. </p> <p>Keep trying an earlier bed time. If she's rubbing her eyes - you've already missed her sleep window and cortisol has kicked in. </p> <p>Definetly get some help from a sleep coach. As other posters have said the key to success is consistency. Figure out the plan and stick to it - no matter what. If you are inconsistent, you're just teaching LO that she is in charge and can dictate bed time/middle of the night playtime. </p> <p>I know sleep training is hard (especially when you are exhausted), but it's SO worth the investment of time and energy to get your sleep back. It's temporary pain for long term gain. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help/page/2#post-2644089 Thu, 27 Oct 2016 21:53:55 +0000 Mama Bird 2644089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@IRunForFun: @SCARLETBEGONIA: that's a good idea about going to a sleep specialist. A co-worker told me about something like that before DD was even born. His son had similar problems, so I guess I'd been warned that this could happen! </p> <p>@PEACHES1038: @MAMAOF2: she does nap in her car seat... not a good habit, but it started because she screamed bloody murder when we put her down for naps, and had to be rocked. Now she falls asleep very nicely, but it's the only time we get half a break so I don't want to mess up her naps too. She naps fine in a crib in day care though. I guess it's just a matter of habit...</p> <p>@SHOOTINGSTAR: @DAHLIA: @TURQUOISEMAMA: @BABYTSMOM: @MRS. CHAMPAGNE: yeah, I agree, she's probably ready for boot camp. Now if only I could get DH to agree to take DS to his brother's for a few days! I can deal with one non-sleeping baby, I can deal with two tired grumpy guys, but I 100% cannot deal with both at the same time! Realistically, I think we just have to hang in there till we move to a bigger place and can let her fuss without waking everyone.</p> <p>@MRSSRS: @2LITTLEPUMPKINS: @SWEETIEPIE: I tried early bedtime again yesterday. She was rubbing her eyes at dinner. I even convinced DH to let me grab her the instant dinner was over, and help with the usual bedtime routine. Only I looked like an idiot again - she nursed, climbed out of my lap, and went off to party for another hour. Maybe I'm misreading her signals and bedtime isn't the issue after all...</p> <p>@CHUCKLES: no worries, I'm very interested in solving this case too! She does nap once most of the time. It's usually 2-3 hours and she wakes up by 2-3 PM. Her bedtime is 9-9:30. We usually have the same routine - bath, nursing and bedtime story, and then if she doesn't fall asleep DH rocks her for a while.</p> <p>@KEMMA: yes, I wonder if something's wrong with her circadian rhythm! She isn't outside a lot lately. Her day care isn't great about getting the kids outside when it gets colder. I'm thinking I'll spend as much time outdoors with her as I can over the weekend. Maybe it will help her.</p> <p>@MODERN DAISY: 4 AM wakeups sound awful! I'm glad he grew out of that. DD did that too for a while... it's slightly better than parties in the middle of the night, but still brutal.</p> <p>Thank you all so much! I really appreciate all of your ideas. I can't really do much about DD being in our room at the moment, but will at least make sure to be more consistent. And yesterday night she was only up once, and DH got up and rocked her back to sleep - so much happiness! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help/page/2#post-2644020 Thu, 27 Oct 2016 20:13:04 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2644020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man. That's rough!</p> <p>My thoughts:</p> <p>Move out of your room so she has her own space. In a crib where she can't escape. Let her cry. Go in if needed but don't pick her up and definitely don't take her walking around. She's probably just so smart she knows you're going to come get her and go for a walk. </p> <p>Get ear plugs and white noise for you and your husband. Loud white noise for both kids. Stick to it. There is a regression around that age i believe. </p> <p>Good luck!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help/page/2#post-2643890 Thu, 27 Oct 2016 16:32:46 +0000 SweetiePie 2643890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm late to the party, but another vote for earlier bedtime. Ditto @looch: about missing the window since she's rubbing eyes at dinner. If your husband isn't on board, there is SO MUCH reading material on why and how it works. He can't really fight with science.<br /> Also want to echo the idea of @gingerbebe: about making wake ups BORING BORING BORING. By engaging her and going for walks you're giving incentive to wake up.<br /> You have to be consistent for these things to work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help/page/2#post-2643169 Thu, 27 Oct 2016 09:17:31 +0000 BabyTsMom 2643169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>if you plan to sleep train, i'd consider moving your mattress to the living room so you and your husband can get some distance and she can learn that it's not time to party. there are a lot of great tips here. i also second trying to make the bedroom as boring as possible- tape the windows with foil or trash bags. white noise as loud as possible. no toys in the crib.... and definitely stick to it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help/page/2#post-2643089 Thu, 27 Oct 2016 07:53:53 +0000 Mamaof2 2643089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: you mentioned she naps in her car seat - is that for every nap? If so maybe that's a problem at night since she is laying flat in a crib? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help/page/2#post-2643077 Thu, 27 Oct 2016 07:11:05 +0000 Modern Daisy 2643077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've wondered the same thing about medication, because my son was waking consistently at 4am for the day for months this past spring/summer WILD with sleep deprivation and refused his naps too. We tried everything consistently too - and nothing worked. We bought the "okay to wake" clock and that was working about 50% of the time for about a month then finally one day he sort of shifted his schedule on his own and now regularly sleeps a little later. But we have given him Benadryl in the past for car rides (per our doctors instructions) because he HATED the car for the first 2.5 years of his life and would make himself hoarse screaming and fight sleep. So I was going to bring that up with his doctor as a possible treatment for the early morning wake ups before he reset on his own. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2643042 Thu, 27 Oct 2016 04:09:13 +0000 turquoisemama 2643042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Okay so I didn't read all the comments but a few things I noticed are sticking out to me as probably a huge part of the problem - First, if you are going to sleep train, you absolutely have to commit and follow through. If she has a really persistent personality, it might take a little longer but you cannot cave or you'll be way behind square one. Second, taking her out and going for walks in the middle of the night is just allowing her to manipulate you into playing with her and spending time with her. She knows that if she makes a fuss, you'll come get her up and go out. I'd suggest you sleeping in the living room or wherever and letting her have her own quiet space to sleep. Some kids can room share but it sounds like she's just really distractable. If you leave her alone for a while and sleep train, you could probably start sleeping in there again and see how it goes if there's no option for her to have her own room. Third, my daughter was waking up 2-3 times at night until I night weaned around 17 months and that solved the problem in a night or two.</p> <p>It sounds like your just desperate and doing whatever you can to keep the peace, but I think you need to make a plan with your DH and COMMIT. Be strong!! This is so hard and being sleep deprived is the worst. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2643041 Thu, 27 Oct 2016 03:22:22 +0000 Kemma 2643041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: do you think it's possible that your wee one hasn't quite got her circadian rhythm right? I wonder how she would go if you religiously followed a strict schedule for 10-14 days so that her body has a chance to reset?</p> <p>In practical terms, if she wants to get up at night then I would make her stay in her crib so she learns that night time is for sleeping and not playing (that's what I do for my two - they can be awake but they're not getting out of bed!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2643020 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 23:08:48 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2643020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My almost 13 month old gets wild and silly if he gets overtired..so I'd go with trying the earlier beditme.</p> <p>Aside from that, we are in a 2 bedroom house with 2 kids as well, and honestly they room share and sleep better together than either of them would in our room. We have the crib and twin bed in somewhat of an L shape so their heads are not directly facing each other and I think it's taken the edge off of separation anxiety for lo2 and they're just used to bedtime together. Ds hasn't sttn the vast majority of their nights together but we just get him before dd is really up. Maybe if you can get that first part of the night started it would be worthwhile to switch. Or put the crib in the living room for a time? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2643015 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 22:38:55 +0000 Dahlia 2643015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, have you tried CIO lately? Maybe it'll work now? Baby/toddler sleep is such a moving target... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2643014 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 22:37:32 +0000 Dahlia 2643014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. Is she on one nap or two? My LO is about the same age, and around a month ago she started waking up in the night and staying awake for awhile whenever she had 2 naps, but 1 nap days she would sleep through (even if it was the same total nap time). </p> <p>Take care of yourself, too. Sleep deprivation is brutal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2642998 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 21:40:29 +0000 Chuckles 2642998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mama bird: Sorry to keep asking questions. It's always interesting to me to play "detective" about stuff like this. Is your LO on 1 nap? What time does she nap? What time does she wake up by from nap? Even if she doesn't need it before a nap, do you do a few things with the lights down to help her simmer down before bedtime (e.g. story, songs, etc)? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2642919 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 19:12:18 +0000 MrsSRS 2642919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Benadryl, melatonin, and magnesium are the drugs you're thinking of. I'm another vote for early bedtime thoigh. My 16mo goes down at 6:30 and if we put her to bed too late she's hyper and can't settle down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2642915 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 19:03:10 +0000 ShootingStar 2642915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think @gingerbebe: had the right idea. You basically need to do bedtime boot camp. I would absolutely get her out of you room and stop making wake ups interesting. </p> <p>I would go with the hotel idea, move her in to the separate bedroom, cut off her nap at 2 hours (I assume she's on one nap? If not she should be!) and get the correct dosing of melatonin from your doctor. Don't bother with Benadryl, it can make some kids more hyper. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2642910 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 18:49:31 +0000 peaches1038 2642910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is only 12 months but went through this during the 9 month sleep regression. Up for hours in the MOTN. It was brutal. Finally we had to commit to not picking him up from the crib. We basically did cio with checks every 5 minutes until he fell asleep. Like your lo, he would go to bed fine after the nighttime routine of dinner, bath, pjs, book and nursing to sleep and then would be up 2-5 times and sometimes for over 2-3 hours each. I didn't want to nightwean yet, so I decided after researching that I wouldn't nurse until at least 4 hours after he went to bed. DH would go in every time he cried, pat his back, sing a quick song and leave again, every 5 minutes until he went back to sleep. If he woke up after the four hours, I would nurse him and put him right back in the crib. Other than nursing, we never pick him up. Took a few nights but now he wakes up once to nurse and goes right back to sleep.<br /> Also-quick side note but your other post implies that she takes naps in her car seat? Is that when you're out or all the time? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2642909 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 18:45:50 +0000 ScarletBegonia 2642909@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure if these exist where you are, but in Australia there are state-run sleep schools/respite care facilities for parents that a GP or Paed can refer parents to, and I know A LOT of people who have been referred for A LOT less than what you are dealing with. </p> <p>As a PP has said, its good that you are keeping your sense of humour about this but to me this sounds like a borderline emergency situation. If you and your husband are trying to be functional members of society, you just can't be up all night! I would book an appointment ASAP with a paediatrician and not leave until you have a script or a referral. I really think this is the kind of sleep disruption that needs intervention. </p> <p>In the meantime if you can afford it I would book and Airbnb or cheap hotel room nearby that you and your husband can go to with your eldest for some solid sleep. </p> <p>I'm so, so sorry you're dealing with this :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2642892 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 18:11:36 +0000 IRunForFun 2642892@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: I don't have specific advice but my niece was referred to a pediatric sleep specialist by her pediatrician when my sister was at her wit's end with her awful sleep patterns. (I think this is more than a sleep consultant?) They would have done a sleep study overnight but the specialist decided it wasn't necessary for other reasons and gave suggestions. Don't let your pediatrician blow you off! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2642890 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 17:59:35 +0000 Mama Bird 2642890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: Her naps are two, sometimes three, hours and she falls asleep super easy - just lies down in her car seat, drinks a bottle, and that's that. None of that works for bedtime, she used to nurse to sleep but now nurses, climbs out of my lap and goes partying. She does fall asleep if DH rocks her.</p> <p>She used to start screaming as soon as she got into her crib. Now she'll play around for ten minutes before she asks to be picked up. I guess it's progress, at least she's not scared of it. And a few times she actually seemed to be trying to fall asleep there by herself. Didn't work, but at least she gave it a try.</p> <p>@junebugsmama: oh yes, we used to cosleep after her first or second wake up. It started when I went to work and she kept waking up more and more every night. She's a very bad neighbor now, though, and she asks to go into our bed but then starts rolling around wailing, kicking us, complaining about something... at this point it's not helping either one of us sleep! Maybe she's going through the same thing.</p> <p>@PinkElephant: thanks, I will ask! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2642866 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 17:04:29 +0000 PinkElephant 2642866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know a lot of people who used melatonin for toddlers to "reset" and recover from severe jet lag that was causing bedtime issues. Might be worth asking your child'S doctor! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2642855 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 16:42:24 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2642855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: darn I wrote a long post and deleted it! I just was gonna say we roomshared, bedshared, and nurse at night, and went through a weird time where he was into the middle of the night party. I would just lie down and pretend to be asleep, while nursing him on and off, and eventually actually fall asleep and so would he. I am firmly in the wait it out method as long as I find a way to survive and get the most sleep possible with the least work possible. I feel for you though with your sleep deprivation! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2642850 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 16:40:43 +0000 Chuckles 2642850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mama bird: at least you're keeping your sense of humor about it :happy: What times/length are her naps? I know she's at daycare during the day, so it's different than bedtime, but on the weekends, how do naps look? Is your routine for them different than for bedtime?<br /> Also, you said that she wakes up in a great mood. When you tried CIO, how long was she in a good mood waiting for you before she got mad? I know this isn't necessarily helpful since you have limited options at night, but I think @gingerbebe: is right that by walking around with her at night you are reinforcing that it's okay to be active and awake. I'm trying to think about whether it would help to keep the lights low and do a quick story, milk, song, etc. right near her crib and then try bedtime again, all while keeping your own voice super low and reinforcing that it's time to sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2642845 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 16:32:48 +0000 Mama Bird 2642845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: thanks so much, these are really good ideas! I think you're right about needing to take time off work and sleep train, and everything else too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2642842 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 16:30:28 +0000 Mama Bird 2642842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: omg. Yes. You've nailed it, that's exactly what it is. She's napping. But that's not normal, is it? Is she missing some cog in her brain that should tell her nighttime is different? Is she setting up to be a doctor or firefighter? What does it mean that she naps at night? :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2642838 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 16:25:19 +0000 gingerbebe 2642838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, its totally possible she has a medical situation that perhaps your doctor will recommend melatonin or something for. </p> <p>But at this age (13-15 months) there are a lot of sleep disruptions. My son who had been sleeptrained and slept 12 hours a night started waking up every 2-3 hours like clockwork for a few weeks at that age. He also had a similar regression at 9 months and 18 months and so did every other kid in our birth month club. So you're not a failure, a lot of this is just normal.</p> <p>That said, you may be getting a worse version of this because she may be a legit low sleep needs child and because your housing situation isn't ideal. </p> <p>If this was me and my husband, we would definitely wean and CIO. Logistically, this is how we would handle it:</p> <p>One or both of us would take several days off work. A week if possible. We'd book a cheap hotel room somewhere and take turns sleeping there at night with your older child. If there's an Embassy Suites near you, all the better to have a separate living room to put DS to sleep earlier, have access to an indoor pool, free happy hour, and free breakfast.</p> <p>I'd put the crib in your son's room and put your daughter there at bedtime. Blackout curtains, white noise, make it a total sensory deprivation space. Bedtime should be about 11-12 hours from when you want your kid to wake up for the day. 7pm is definitely reasonable and 630pm is totally fine if your kid is overtired. Set up a bedtime routine that you and DH can stick to - let's say bath, PJs, book and milk, teeth brushing, and a good night song - so that your daughter will learn to associate that routine with night time. Then say goodnight, say you will see her in the morning, big I love yous and kisses, and shut the door, resolved to come back 12 hours later unless your kid is hurting or has puked or something.</p> <p>Watch your kid on the video monitor with the sound off. If you can't stand the noise, get a humidifier in your room and turn it on really loud as a white noise machine to block some of it out. Repeat every night. Enter in the morning SUPER happy and excited to see her, cheering yay for sleeping in her room like a big girl.</p> <p>You may need to make some adjustments like having your son sleep in your room on an air mattress or something until you move and leave your daughter in her own space to sleep. I'd also tell daycare her nap should be capped at 2 hours and end no later than 230pm. </p> <p>Basically, it sounds like your kid is dealing with normal sleep regressions, but because you roomshare, nurse, AND get up with her in the MOTN to walk around, she thinks its normal to wake up at night and party with mom and dad. So, you just have to break her of that. Good luck and hope you get some sleep soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2642808 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 15:59:08 +0000 Chuckles 2642808@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you mentioned that her naps are fine. What times and how long are they? It almost sounds like "bedtime" is another nap for her, in terms of the length and being alert when she's up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2642756 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 14:30:11 +0000 Mama Bird 2642756@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Miss Flamingo: yes!!! I am, and I'm convinced that's part of the problem. Going to make a serious effort to wean now. Although, yesterday was the first night that we tried to put DD to bed without nursing with me in the house, and her revenge was swift and frightful. She went to bed for DH in fifteen minutes, and woke up half an hour later all bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Bedtime" ended with DH passed out right at the kitchen table, and me doing laps through our whole building with DD till 3:30 am. She was trying to chat with me and making kissy faces from the stroller the whole time. :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2642684 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 13:44:35 +0000 Miss Flamingo 2642684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter was a terrible terrible terrible sleeper too. I thought she had a sleeping disorder. But I weaned her at around that age and within 2 nights her sleep improved dramatically. I don't know if you are nursing but I thought I would throw it out there just in case. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/extreme-sleep-problems-help#post-2642666 Wed, 26 Oct 2016 13:25:55 +0000 Mama Bird 2642666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: that's a great idea, only since she doesn't have her own room, the best I can hope for is a night baby walker to do laps with her around the block.</p> <p>@Madison43: it's not DH's fault really! He does leave the room when I ask. The problem is, lately DD falls asleep better for him. And when I try to put her to bed early, instead of taking over trying to get her to sleep, he goes, "see, it's too early, she's not sleepy so let's try later!" </p>