https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 23 May 2026 08:00:05 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850309 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 07:23:20 +0000 Pollywog 2850309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, one other tip. Some people love to shop and find that perfect item. I put those people on the quest for things I can't easily Amazon. Things like soft jeans. Other people love to get a good deal. My mom is currently tasked with waiting until Walmart basics go on clearance and then grabbing specific styles. She gets a thrill out of getting all of J's summer clothes at $3 a piece. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850287 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 05:40:38 +0000 lamariniere 2850287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pollywog: this is a great idea!</p> <p>Worst case, if you are still getting clothes either donate them or keep them as backups. We have a similar situation. We live in a climate where it’s 90 degrees every single day and my MIL will gift long sleeved items or clothes made with heavier fabrics, or items that are more formal. Even though (thankfully!) her tastes have evolved and are more in line with my LOs, we literally can’t use the clothes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850279 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 05:00:02 +0000 Becky 2850279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not having matching clothes and cute outfits for my girls because of the fact that we rarely buy them clothes and it’s mostly gifted used to really bug me. But now that they’re 2.5 and almost 5 it turns out they won’t let me dress them anyway. We had like 10 sundresses handed down from DD1 (actually wore them) that DD2 absolutely refused to wear. Boden, Hanna Anderson—I’m glad I wasn’t the one who bought them. Not having to buy lots of clothes has been a huge financial help. I know the grandma’s won’t be so excited about it when the girls are teenagers so I’m taking it now. I did tell their daycare and school teachers that they dress themselves though because the outfits they pick are pretty wild sometimes (patterns on patterns on patterns!).</p> <p>I did tell my mom specifically what they needed this season. That way I don’t have way too many pants and not enough shirts. I try to guide her towards certain styles but it doesn’t usually work, and the kids love what she buys anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850274 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 00:33:49 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2850274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Even carters makes more plain things (solids, stripes, etc.) so I would just choose something like that (and if it's still not great then just use as PJs or extra clothes or something like that.) or I would just say he needs plain socks. Or underwear. BUT depending on your lo just be prepared that your lo may start liking things you don't and unless that's a battle you want to have with your child, you might have to just get used to certain things anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850273 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 00:20:03 +0000 Calibee 2850273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Or! Could you respond something like, Carters clothes don't really fit LO’s body type very well. These brands works well for us. </p> <p>This is totally legit. Some brands just don’t fit my kids right. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850272 Wed, 10 Oct 2018 00:18:03 +0000 Calibee 2850272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m picky about what my kids wear too. If they receive something I am not a big fan of, I thank the gifter and then either 1) make it a preschool outfit; 2) make it a backup outfit that preschool keeps in case an outfit change is needed; or 3) sell it on my local b/s/t page. (Assuming you can’t/don’t want to just straight up return it.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850258 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 21:55:28 +0000 Mrsbells 2850258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@annem1990: I think its really nice to have people willing to buy things for your little ones. I know my kiddos like knowing that some of their clothes are gifts from people they love. I feel like you can never have too many clothes for kids. I just add things to the rotation and if it isnt in my style then they just wear it at home where no one even sees it. In this case her offer is for PJs so its definitely only going to be worn at home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850250 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 21:03:59 +0000 wrkbrk 2850250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@annem1990: Same as PP. My mother asks me what we need and follows specific instructions. MIL does not. So I shrug, let him wear the stuff around her once or twice and donate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850247 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 20:47:52 +0000 Foodnerd81 2850247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m really not that picky about clothes, but my 5 year old is. I have starting giving people direction- she wears size small/ 6, prefers comfy casual dresses and leggings, refuses to wear pants with a fly. Honestly my MIL still sends her constricting clothes that i know she won’t wear- a denim vest that was cute but not comfy, jeans. When i can I exchangebfor somethig I know she will wear but sometimes it doesn’t get worn. I also would direct them towards things like PJs- I don’t care if they aren’t my style. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850244 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 20:37:11 +0000 periwinklebee 2850244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I told my mom that we had gotten more cute hand-me-downs than we know what to do with, and that there is no more space anywhere in my house (all true). Thankfully she took the hint and has not bought clothes... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850240 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 20:17:09 +0000 Pollywog 2850240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Here's what I'd do. I'd reply with something like "Thanks! J is 4t and is really into trucks. R is 12 months. Their school has a no words/character policy, so it's always challenging to find cute clothes that work!". </p> <p>A little redirection helps a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850234 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 19:47:46 +0000 buttermilk 2850234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL does this. Well she doesn’t ask first, just shows up with stuff. It’s never my style but some of it is okay. I exchange most of it and keep a couple things. I agree with @bhbee: it brings her a lot of pleasure so I don’t let it bother me. </p> <p>Meanwhile my mom is the exact opposite and will only buy things I pick out myself. We have a running Pinterest board with gift ideas (or clothes ideas when she asks for it). I add a bunch of stuff I like and that the kids need and she picks what she likes from there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850231 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 19:33:34 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2850231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@annem1990: I was pretty emphatic that I wasn’t putting LO in clothes I didn’t like. Quickly those that bought clothes and didn’t see him in them stopped buying for him. LO was not a doll so I didn’t put an outfit on him just to take a picture. Some clothes were used as basically last resort it’s laundry day and some have still never been worn. I think in the case of your aunt using the sale as a reason to go shopping you can just let her know he doesn’t need anything. “Thanks for thinking of LO, but he’s all set with clothes.” </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850227 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 19:19:08 +0000 ElbieKay 2850227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom does this, and I dislike it too. We have very different taste, and she doesn’t take hints. Like I have told her three times recently how/why I dislike velour, and she just uses that as an opportunity to explain to me how much she likes it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850222 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 18:43:39 +0000 Alba4 2850222@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL is pretty good about asking what we need and regularly offers to use her Gap points to buy the boys stuff. I usually send her links to what we need. She does buy the boys annoying character shirts, but I just pack hem as back up shirts for daycare.</p> <p>My mom is addicted to TJ Max and just buys and returns as a part time job. She once in awhile gives the boys clothing, but she prefers toys and books since the boys aren’t super excited about clothing. I will ask her to splurge at Xmas time for nicer brands like Boden, so that is nice.</p> <p>Other than that, I’m on my own buying the boys clothing. I’m so psyched that I have two boys and all the clothing is reused!</p> <p>I say accept her gifts and just use the stuff as play clothes/paint clothes/back up daycare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850216 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 18:10:33 +0000 snarkybiochemist 2850216@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom and MIL do not generally ask what we need, things just show up either in person or mailed. If I hate it I generally return it for something else even though I find that to be a giant pain and we have carters near my work and daycare so its not even like I have to go out of my way. If I absolutely know that an outfit needs to be worn I try and snap a picture of her in it with the tags still on then I return the outfit anyway and it gets blamed on a blowout or being in the wash when asked why they haven't seen her in it recently. I typically go next size up or really practical basics when I do this, every now and then I replace the cute not to my taste outfit with something I do find cute. My husband doesn't love that I do this but generally my mom and MIL can be a bit clueless and I would rather have clothes E can wear. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850211 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 17:43:09 +0000 Grace 2850211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How old is LO? I ask because now DD is 5 and is growing like a weed. I can’t keep her in clothes. I’d love your problem. Do you like clothes from Carters? If so, what about looking on line and saying that you’ve been meaning to buy X? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850208 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 17:06:02 +0000 bhbee 2850208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@annem1990: yeah the asking would totally annoy me too, but in my situation I don’t know if there would be a way to stop it. You have my sympathy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850206 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 16:59:36 +0000 annem1990 2850206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: That’s a good perspective.<br /> This aunt is very wealthy so I know buying a little outfit from Carters is nothing. My MIL is in really bad financial shape and has a spending problem. So it’s ever harder to say yes to her knowing how bad her finances are. </p> <p>My issue is that they ask. It just feels awkward to me. Like, if you want to buy him something then that’s your decision and of course we’ll happily accept a gift! I know they mean well, but it’s just annoying. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850205 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 16:55:02 +0000 bhbee 2850205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL is an overbuyer and I get annoyed by it too - we have different taste, she often gets the wrong size but also takes the tags off many times. I exchange when I can, usually I try to keep a couple things so she can see them (she buys enough not to notice what’s missing). If I can’t exchange, I let them wear it once and take a picture, or I save it to wear during visits. Or sometimes I just end up eventually donating because if it doesn’t fit what can you do?<br /> What I’ve discovered in my situation is the buying brings her the most pleasure - she cares less how much or if they wear it. So I let her do whatever she likes and don’t rock the boat. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850203 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 16:51:54 +0000 Sams Mom 2850203@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@annem1990: ahhhhh... Yea I only do laundry once a week, so I'm all about having some extras. Maybe redirect them to a book subscription or experience if they're deadset on spending money? Or just be really firm with the no, thank you? One really uncomfortable moment to prevent repeated nos </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850202 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 16:51:36 +0000 Portboston 2850202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband is similar to you. I don't care as much but I decline since I know they'll never be worn. Usually I just say "we're actually all set for pjs/winter clothes/etc, but thank you for the offer!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850199 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 16:46:59 +0000 annem1990 2850199@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sams Mom: My MIL would. She likes to buy matching outfits for LO and my nephew. His aunt wouldn’t know. I just don’t want to set a precedence for buying clothes constantly. I don’t want a ton of clothes. I do laundry everyday. I don’t need 10 sets of PJs in every size. It’s just a waste to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850198 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 16:41:04 +0000 Sams Mom 2850198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Would they notice if you exchanged them, like ask why isn't he wearing that Dr. Seuss shirt I bought him? Or do they not come around enough. If they push the issue, maybe send them links of things you like? </p> <p>My mom always texts me about her carters/osh kosh points coming up on expiration, but the difference here is I send her a shopping cart and she pays for it. I don't NEED her to buy clothes for him, but I know she wants to, so I let her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-member-buying-clothes#post-2850196 Tue, 09 Oct 2018 16:37:03 +0000 annem1990 2850196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know what the comments will say...”Just politely decline”. I know that’s there right thing to do. But for some reason this happens all the time and it makes me so annoyed. Please talk me down and tell me I’m being overly sensitive...</p> <p>DH’s aunt emails me: Carters is having a sale. Does your LO need PJs? Or anything else?</p> <p>Idk why this drives me crazy. I don’t want it to, but it does.<br /> 1) I’m super picky about boy clothes. No characters, words, crazy patterns etc. So if someone buys him clothes it’s almost never worn because what most people find cute, I find annoying and stereotypical. </p> <p>2) This is not my family member. So I’m in the awkward position of declining. She’s super close to DH so idk why she only emails me about this. </p> <p>3) If I decline, it makes me look like I’m unappreciative. She’s willing to buy anything...but I just dont want anything. She has lots of money and lots of her own grandkids to buy for. </p> <p>My MIL does the same thing to me constantly. I always politely say no thanks, but she usually buys it anyways. So I get frustrated because I’m always declining these “nice offers.” I can buy clothes for my kid. I don’t get why they don’t take the hint... </p>