https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 26 May 2026 18:55:35 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-messing-up-naps#post-2088881 Fri, 27 Feb 2015 16:14:45 +0000 kiddosc 2088881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unfortunately, since your DH won't talk to them, you just need to put on your momma pants and put your foot down. "We really love to visit with you, but you either need to come over before 12:00 or after 3:00" You shouldn't have to explain, but if you do, tell them you're the one that deals with the aftermath so this is the new rule. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-messing-up-naps#post-2088875 Fri, 27 Feb 2015 16:10:42 +0000 enjollah 2088875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sometimes inlaws/family just don't see or understand the importance of routines for little ones.... Nor do they know/realize all your efforts of implementing a routine! I'm sure a bunch of us can agree that inlaws/families can be tough to deal with.. Hopefully you and DH make up soon, get on the same page and he can talk to his parents soon. Depending on your family dynamics, sometimes it's better for his parents to hear your family's preferences from him. That's how it is in ours... Cuz MIL can be cray cray at times </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-messing-up-naps#post-2088828 Fri, 27 Feb 2015 15:42:23 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2088828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.Pinecone316: or adding to that, how about adding that 12-1 is pre-nap routine and you are finding they really need that structure right now? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-messing-up-naps#post-2088827 Fri, 27 Feb 2015 15:41:57 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2088827@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Frustrating!!</p> <p>I agree with saying "they've been sleeping bad with company over. They will be up at 3 so feel free to come then" </p> <p>Or say you need to nap when they do so you can't host until naps are over. Sorry you're dealing with this. Sounds so annoying. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-messing-up-naps#post-2088815 Fri, 27 Feb 2015 15:35:27 +0000 Mrs.Pinecone316 2088815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How frustrating! Can you start rewording it? instead of saying "nap time is at 1" how about saying, " Ok he will be up from his nap around 3 so can you come after then? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-messing-up-naps#post-2088790 Fri, 27 Feb 2015 15:19:47 +0000 jedeve 2088790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The thing is I do tell them, "okay, nap time is 1." And they go "okay, we will be there at 12:30!"</p> <p>No one really ever tells them no. </p> <p>Argh. I'm just overtired and still grumpy from my fight with DH last night. Maybe if they both do sleep I can leave the house for a bit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-messing-up-naps#post-2088785 Fri, 27 Feb 2015 15:16:54 +0000 looch 2088785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd talk to them directly, tell them the times that work and make sure they understand.</p> <p>I don't understand the reason why your husband needs to talk to his parents, heck, I have a language barrier with my inlaws, but when something needs to be said, I do it. My husband is very non-confrontational and if it's not important to him, he'll just skip the convo. At least when I say what needs to be said, I am confident that the message was delivered. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-messing-up-naps#post-2088777 Fri, 27 Feb 2015 15:12:33 +0000 SweetiePie 2088777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsF: this exactly. I know my IL's think we are insane. But I've hada taste of skipped naps. Just, no. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-messing-up-naps#post-2088730 Fri, 27 Feb 2015 14:50:19 +0000 MrsF 2088730@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm very clear with my family about when the kids are napping and when they can come. It's a little harder with DH's side of the family but I still ask him to be pretty specific about our schedule. They probably think we're crazy, but we're the ones who have to live with exhausted kids when they leave. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-messing-up-naps#post-2088726 Fri, 27 Feb 2015 14:47:55 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2088726@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: this weekend is the perfect time for your husband to talk with them if they're staying over. Hopefully something as simple as "the little ones have really become cranky these days if they miss their naps! Oldest has to be asleep by X time or it all goes to crap. We love your visits, but until they get through this stage please come before X time."<br /> If my husband couldn't do that, then I would when they text ("can't wait to see you! Make sure to get here before X time so you can say hi before nap.") or when they say they'll be late ("bummer you're running late. Maybe we should just reschedule or maybe you can do something in town until LO wakes up from nap") </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-messing-up-naps#post-2088720 Fri, 27 Feb 2015 14:41:36 +0000 twodoghouse 2088720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>THIS IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE. I could have written this post word for word except instead of once a week they really want to come 3x or more. Luckily my husband has gotten the point across on that one. We finally just had to be clear that they were welcome to come but the kids need to nap. So now we ask them to come at 3. My kids are usually up by 2:30 so that gives us time to get up, change diapers, nurse and go downstairs. It limits the time they spend with our kids (they're in bed by 7 at the latest), but we had to get really firm. Unfortunately they didn't seem to get all our gentle hints that visitors disrupt the schedule (which mean my night is awful and the babies don't get the sleep they need!) so we had to be more explicit. I've found that the more direct I am with my in laws, the happier we all are. That was REALLY hard to do at first when my LOs arrived (and they wanted to come at 7 am and stay all day every day) but putting these boundaries in place has been so good for or relationship in so many ways! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-messing-up-naps#post-2088702 Fri, 27 Feb 2015 14:25:53 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2088702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You've got to get your husband to step up on this. My husband has gotten much better over the years, but we've had a lot of discussion on why some boundaries are important. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-messing-up-naps#post-2088684 Fri, 27 Feb 2015 14:15:57 +0000 Dandelion 2088684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If your dh can't say something, can you? Next time they're sayibg they're coming say that lo really needs to have his nap from 1:00 on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-messing-up-naps#post-2088650 Fri, 27 Feb 2015 13:52:53 +0000 littleredhairedgrl 2088650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ugh that would drive me nuts them stopping by so often like that! i'm trying to work with dh on having him tell his mother that she needs to ASK if it's alright if she come by and be understanding if he or i say no. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-messing-up-naps#post-2088645 Fri, 27 Feb 2015 13:50:34 +0000 FaithFertility 2088645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a 10 week old and my mom lately had asked me to help her pick up my sister from dance and such at 7:30 I was honest with her and said that is DD bed routine time so only on days DH is home, I think being completely honest and up front, like naps are from 1-3 so feel free to drop by anytime before/after...<br /> I'm still learning on being honest and saying no too....lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-messing-up-naps#post-2088643 Fri, 27 Feb 2015 13:50:03 +0000 jedeve 2088643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I try to tell them but our house is small and it's easy to tell if someone else is around!</p> <p>@NorthStar: I don't mind them stopping by. I just get annoyed cause they say they will be here in the morning and lately, never are. I don't need help with the kids when they are asleep, haha. But they are staying with us this weekend so I can't pretend we are gone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-messing-up-naps#post-2088640 Fri, 27 Feb 2015 13:47:43 +0000 NorthStar 2088640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be so annoyed with them stopping by so often! wow - yeah, definitely need to talk to them about it. Or make up something and say that you aren't home! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-messing-up-naps#post-2088633 Fri, 27 Feb 2015 13:43:42 +0000 Anagram 2088633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: When they text saying they are coming over, can you just say, "Okay, I'm putting LOs down for a nap now, so they will be sleeping and we'll have to be quiet?". </p> <p>Maybe doing that a few times would help them get the picture? When our parents come, they come and stay for a couple of weeks, and I do everything (naps and bedtime) the same as usual and just tell them in advance what the schedule of each day is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-messing-up-naps#post-2088623 Fri, 27 Feb 2015 13:39:11 +0000 jedeve 2088623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH's family lives an hour and a half away, and comes to visit fairly regularly. Sometimes once a week, sometimes less. </p> <p>Lately, when they have showed up, it's been right before Lo1's nap (1:00). Sometimes I'm okay pushing his nap til 2:00, but he usually takes a three hour nap and he will be grumpy if he wakes up after five. (Of course, he won't be grumpy with DH or the grandparents, just me. And he usually acts out more with me when they are around, so it's much worse). </p> <p>Wednesday, FIL stopped by at 1:30, literally seconds after I put him down for his nap. LO heard him and didn't go to sleep. Then they played loudly and woke lo2 up. We had company coming over for dinner that night after FIL left and the boys were just a wreck. I had called DH to ask when he was coming and he had told me four o'clock. I had said, "okay, because when they stop by between 12-2 it throws off naps." FIL had texted DH and told him he was going to get there at 1:30 but DH didnt see it. </p> <p>Today, MiL is coming down. She said she was just going to leave in the morning. Then she texted to say she would be here by noon. Then she texted again to say she made a stop and it will be 12:30. I'm pissed because the kids are sick and need their naps. Mil is slightly better than FIL because she will help put him down for a nap, but she spends an hour (!) doing it. So it will be 2:30 or so before he gets a nap today, if at all.</p> <p>Ugh, I am annoyed. I've just rolled with it because I don't mind if our schedule gets thrown off by an hour or so. But now that it means no nap and they are sick, and it's happening more and more, it's just not okay. </p> <p>I told DH earlier this week he needed to talk to them about it. He obviously didn't. I don't want to bring it up now because we had a fight last night. </p>