https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 17:28:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-rant#post-69227 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 18:17:24 +0000 Rescuemom10 69227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This does stink. I agree with you. I dont see why you should cancel it over ONE person not wanting to go, or at least talk it over with you and your DH before making new plans. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-rant#post-69062 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 14:37:44 +0000 Adira 69062@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: Agreed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-rant#post-69050 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 14:29:40 +0000 mrbee 69050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Coordinating family vacations is way too stressful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-rant#post-69033 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 14:03:32 +0000 Adira 69033@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: We probably could go skiing, but I don't think we would be able to go skiing in Maine. My husband's grandfather owns the condo and I'm assuming that my FIL is the one that currently has the key, since we were going to stay there. If we wanted to ski at the same mountain, we'd have to get a hotel or something, and I'm not sure either one of us really wants to drive five hours and back just to go skiing by ourselves. We're willing to do it to ski with his dad and step-mom, but probably not alone.</p> <p>We could go skiing somewhere else I suppose, but what would I say? "Oh, you guys aren't going skiing, okay we don't want to see you then." I mean, they know we're available that weekend since we were planning to go to Maine, so I'm just not sure how to spin it without looking even more selfish than my SIL. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-rant#post-69032 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 14:03:18 +0000 Andrea 69032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: it seems like we have the same situation then. i feel like it is more of my DH's position to speak up, too, and he never does. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-rant#post-69030 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 14:01:10 +0000 Adira 69030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: Hubs and I are pretty laid back so we usually just go with the flow, and when his MIL canceled on us, I didn't fight it because I honestly didn't care if we saw her or not. Now I regret it though because she keeps trying to make US feel guilty for not seeing her for so long even though SHE was the one that blew us off.</p> <p>I plan to talk to Hubs tonight about it. I'm hoping that he feels the same way as me and will suggest that we just go skiing without SIL instead of changing plans to accommodate us. But my husband is even more easy-going than I am, so I'm worried he'll just be all "Okay, whatever, I don't care what we do" and not fight it. And I feel like I can't really try to fight it since it's his family and not mine. Ugh! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-rant#post-69029 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 14:00:54 +0000 mrbee 69029@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you guys possibly go skiing on your own that weekend? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-rant#post-69022 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 13:57:48 +0000 Andrea 69022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: do you and DH speak up about this? I feel like this kind of stuff happens with my SIL in too but she is the one with the big mouth so she gets her way. vs. DH and I just don't want to make a big deal about things so we don't get our way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-rant#post-69015 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 13:53:54 +0000 Adira 69015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: I think the reason I'm so upset by this is because it's not the first time this has happened to us! My hubs and I are almost always an afterthought to his family. They'll make plans with his sister and after plans are finalized, THEN they'll extend an invitation to us. And sometimes they don't even do that. And if WE can't go, they never change days or plans to accommodate us. It just always revolves around his sister and when she's free and what she wants to do.</p> <p>Granted, my hubs sister is the more social one out of the two, so she's probably instigating plans and stuff, so that doesn't really bother me. But what does bother me is when plans are finalized (with her AND us) and then she goes ahead and changes them. The last time it happened, the family get-together was just canceled all-together, which meant we ended up not seeing my MIL for an entire year (okay by me, but my MIL still complains that we went a year without seeing her even though SHE was the one that canceled on US when SIL couldn't attend). So I'm just peeved that it's happening again - plans are finalized, we're looking forward to them, and then SIL changes the plans and we don't get a say! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-rant#post-69010 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 13:48:05 +0000 Andrea 69010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: yeah it sounds like the rest of the family shouldn't change plans based on SIL's whims unless SIL is integral to the trip. i would be irritated, too, for sure! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-rant#post-69003 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 13:44:54 +0000 Adira 69003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: Well that's how I feel. I feel like if she wasn't up for the trip, she should've just said "I'm sorry everyone, but I don't feel up for it. Please have fun without me!" But she's not that kind of person, and although I don't really know the details, it's more likely that she said "I don't feel up for it, let's do this instead!" and kind of forced my FIL and SMIL to agree to it.</p> <p>I'm more mad at my FIL and SMIL for just catering to my SIL and not even taking my hubs or I into account before making a decision. It feels like our opinions just aren't as important as hers, and that they would rather spend time with SIL than us, since because she can't go, now none of us are going. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-rant#post-68964 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 13:26:54 +0000 Andrea 68964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That seems disappointing but it's really not the SIL's fault right? If she doesn't go, why can't everyone else still go if it is not her condo? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-rant#post-68963 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 13:26:53 +0000 heffalump 68963@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sucky! I'd be upset too, hopefully you can get the whole family together for some skiing soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-rant#post-68922 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 13:10:35 +0000 tequiero21 68922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>awww why don't u just go with the hubs anyway? i personally could see how i'd be too tired to do a 5-hour trip twice in a month - but i have a good excuse - i'm pregnant in my 3rd trimester and walking up a small hill got me all tired. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-rant#post-68882 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 12:51:33 +0000 Adira 68882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, I'm so peeved with my in-laws right now that I just have to get it all out there!</p> <p>For some background: my husband's grandfather owns a condo close to a ski-resort in Maine. The whole family on that side got together in January to finally do Christmas and while there, they all went skiing. All except my husband and I. It's a five-hour drive up there for us so we drove up on Saturday, the day everyone went skiing. We thought we were going to get to go on Sunday, but then people decided not to go, so we ended up not being able to go skiing with the family.</p> <p>So after that, my husband's immediate family (dad, step-mom, sister, her boyfriend, her son, and us) decided to get together again up there so that we all (including my husband and I this time) could go skiing together. We made plans for next weekend (February 17th - 19th). We were going to drive up Friday night and get there around midnight in order to be there to go skiing on Saturday with the family.</p> <p>Well today I get an e-mail from my hub's step-mother saying that there is a change in plans. My sister in law is claiming that it's "too difficult" for her to drive the five-hours up to Maine again "so soon" and so instead they're just going to my father-in-law's house for the weekend and maybe we'll go cross-country skiing (if there's snow).</p> <p>Well, I'm sooooo upset! My hubs and I were really looking forward to this weekend in Maine and going downhill skiing with his family! I don't understand why because SHE (sister-in-law) doesn't want to go, that means we don't get to go either!!! WTF! Am I being totally unreasonable for being upset by this??? </p>