https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 17:47:08 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-responsibilities-long#post-25010 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 23:28:33 +0000 Mrs. D 25010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with everyone!<br /> East Coast Canadians are great at building a community, and they will keep your parents as occupied as they always have. </p> <p>Tell your sister what my mom said to me when we told her we'd be moving to Manitoba from Nova Scotia, and again when we told her we'd probabaly be moving west again, this time to Alberta.<br /> You have to do what's best for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-responsibilities-long#post-24748 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 19:36:19 +0000 redboots 24748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-responsibilities-long#post-24668 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 17:47:52 +0000 ecogirl 24668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really believe that your Grandpa and Mom would never want her to turn down a great opportunity just to be geographically close to them. I think she should spread her wings :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-responsibilities-long#post-24581 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 16:20:06 +0000 Rubies 24581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that as adults everyone needs to do what is best for them. But as children to your parents, there is guilt. If it were me, I would advise your sister to do what she wants in her heart. I think that your parents will be okay. Sad, of course. But fine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-responsibilities-long#post-24565 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 16:09:32 +0000 redboots 24565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you everyone for your advice. We are such a close family and it is true that my relationship with my parents are much stronger now than if I had lived close to them. This is a huge opportunity for her. My parents are only a few years away from retirement, so we will be encouraging them to come out for longer visits regardless if she moves out here or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-responsibilities-long#post-24534 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 15:40:01 +0000 Rescuemom10 24534@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with what everyone has said. The last thing she will want is to regret it later in life not taking this oppertunity. She needs to worry and take care of herself first before she can worry or take care of others. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-responsibilities-long#post-24516 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 15:23:29 +0000 mrbee 24516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe your parents can come out west for one month out of the year... spend a week with each kid? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-responsibilities-long#post-24513 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 15:22:01 +0000 tequiero21 24513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>unfortunately, that's part of growing up. i think your sister should pursue the west coast job if that's what she really wants. she has to start thinking about herself and her future family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-responsibilities-long#post-24512 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 15:21:49 +0000 junebugmama 24512@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Even though it may be sad, she needs to live for herself. Turning down an opportunity may end up being her biggest regret in the future. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-responsibilities-long#post-24511 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 15:20:42 +0000 eupenmalmody 24511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Your sister needs to do what is best for her. I too live apart from my parents and have for nearly 12 years now (for college, job - and am now married with a LO on the way). I am an only child as well, so it isn't like my parents have other siblings to rely on. I am also super close to my parents. At the end of the day, we make it work. I go out of my way to speak to my mom every day, and every opportunity I can, I visit and they visit me. It takes a bit more effort than if I lived in the same town as them, but I feel that our relationship is stronger because we are forced to make extra effort. You shouldn't feel guilty about living far away, nor should your sister. Your parents should be proud that they raised great children who are maturing and making their own path in life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-responsibilities-long#post-24509 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 15:19:59 +0000 Adira 24509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@redboots: I think your last sentence really nailed it for me.</p> <p>"There is no chance my parents would move here as my older sister has kids and they have a large community of friends that they have had for over 30 years since immigrating to Canada."</p> <p>Enough said! Your parents will be FINE! They have a good support system and are close to one of your sisters and, presumably, to the grandfather as well. The four of them (grandfather, parents, and sister) all have each other, as well as friends! While it's sad that three of the siblings will be moving away, I think your family will be understanding and they don't <i>need</i> you there to take care of them. I think they'd be happier knowing that you each made the best decisions for yourselves and are making good lives for yourselves. I think your parents would probably be upset if your sister passed up a great opportunity because of them. That would make THEM feel guilty, I suspect!</p> <p>Encourage your sister to take this opportunity now! If things don't work out, she can ALWAYS move back home later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/family-responsibilities-long#post-24499 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 15:13:13 +0000 redboots 24499@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi Everyone,</p> <p>This is not pregnancy or baby related but I really want to hear others experience when it comes to family responsibilities.</p> <p>I come from a family of four kids. I moved away for school to the other end of the country almost 12 years ago. Culturally, this is not common. I ended up staying here and my parents made peace with it. Of course, they miss me and now that I have a LO they miss us even more. I go out to visit twice a year, more now that I am on mat leave but its a 5 hour plane ride. </p> <p>My brother moved here for school as well almost 4 years ago and I dont know if he will be moving back. That leaves my older and younger sister. </p> <p>Here's the current situation...my younger sister got an offer for a full time permanent position (some moving expenses paid) out here...and she got offered a casual position 2 hours away from my parents home. She loves being near my parents and grandfather. However, she is super excited about this opportunity and moving to the west coast. She is quite attached to my parents and grandfather and niece and nephews out there. She also feels a sense of responsibility to my parents and grandfather, especially since they are older now. My mom does not speak much english, but she manages just fine. My grandfather is in his late 80s and he misses all of us so much. She (and I) hate the thought of him feeling alone and we all feel as if we abandoned our family now. </p> <p>I am feeling so guilty for not having been there for my parents and grandfather, although i try hard to help them out with things from here. I also feel guilty for opening up that option to have my siblings move out here. </p> <p>She is torn and has to let everyone know by next week. She feels like is such a good opportunity and she really likes it out west and she feels like she needs a change.</p> <p>any advice to give her...anyone else feel this knot of guilt for abandoning their parents...</p> <p>There is no chance my parents would move here as my older sister has kids and they have a large community of friends that they have had for over 30 years since immigrating to Canada. </p>