https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 22 May 2026 09:24:06 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate/page/2#post-1319273 Sat, 04 Jan 2014 12:29:16 +0000 jetsa 1319273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@heartonastring: thank you I was hoping you'd add your thoughts. I bought one and only last week, i hope it will help me make this decision. My DH would prefer to be one and done and I never thought I'd agree but I'm now leaning that way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate/page/2#post-1318512 Fri, 03 Jan 2014 20:55:34 +0000 heartonastring 1318512@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry it's taken me awhile to get back to this.</p> <p>As I mentioned above, we both went from always wanting two to being pretty firmly (at least check DH said he was 99% sure and I said I was 95% sure) one and done. </p> <p>Basically, we found parenting to be much more overwhelming than we ever anticipated. We are intelligent people, we both have multiple degrees and good jobs. We are well-travelled and well-read. All that to say that we didn't go into this being super naive about what parenthood would demand of us, but we still couldn't fathom exactly how HARD it would be. I'm pretty sure I suffered from mild PPD up until the three or four month mark, and during that time I repeatedly said to myself, 'I can never do this again.' </p> <p>I know that the baby phase is short-lived, but I'm truly not sure I could do it again without having some sort of breakdown. And DD is an "easy" baby! We are not naive enough to believe that we would get another easy baby with #2, and we're pretty sure we couldn't handle a higher-needs baby. I have always required a lot of sleep and the sleep deprivation was seriously like torture to me....and DD is a good sleeper, as far as babies go!</p> <p>The other part of it is that we're a little selfish in terms of our goals for our own life. And I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. I don't want to have another child because I feel guilty about not providing a sibling...I don't think fear is a good reason to make such a huge decision. We want to travel. We want to retire at a reasonable age. We want to give DD every possible opportunity and not have to compromise on that. </p> <p>As for the only child stigma, I was an only child for all intents and purposes (I have a half-brother at my dad's house, but he's seven years younger than me and I lived the majority of the time at my mum's house) and I loved it. I never longed for a sibling. I loved my childhood. Being a family of three made for a wonderful closeness and really tight bonds with my parents. I am happy for DH, DD and me to form a similar little clan of three.</p> <p>That's just my experience and yours might be different. But it's okay to be scared and to spend time exploring those feelings. I read the book One and Only in the summer and I really recommend it - it does a good job of dispelling most of the common myths surrounding only children. Reading it might help your clarify whether or not you want more children. I think it's also important to remember that you don't need to decide anything right this second :)</p> <p>Sorry for the novel...it's something I've thought about a LOT over these past eight months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate/page/2#post-1312981 Thu, 02 Jan 2014 10:04:38 +0000 looch 1312981@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're one and done, for a lot of reasons, but namely it is my nerves that can not handle a second child. My son is very high needs and maybe it's the result of him being an only child, but he was in time out over 7 times on Tuesday and 5 times on Wednesday AND he doesn't consistently sleep through the night, so, there you have it.</p> <p>I am also turning 39 this year, so I think that has a lot to do with it. I do not have the patience that I had when I was in my 20s. Plus, I want to retire sooner than later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate/page/2#post-1312969 Thu, 02 Jan 2014 10:01:06 +0000 lizzywiz 1312969@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skibobrown: Thanks for posting this :heart: Now I wish someone would post: PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO FEARS ABOUT HAVING ANOTHER BABY...WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING AND CAN I HAVE WHAT YOU'RE HAVING? lol :grin:<br /> @sarac: @yoursilverlining: @Weagle: @DillonLion: Thank you for sharing positive thoughts on small families. I have two siblings and grew up with 60+ first cousins who mostly lived within a hour and 1/2. But I now live 3 states away from my nearest sibling and cousin and see no future where I will get to visit more than once a year. I never wanted a large family but I am surprised and nervous to be having an 'only'.<br /> @sweet_p: @BananaPancakes: @grizz: Thanks for saying what I didn't in my first reply. My husband and I are more like battle buddies in the trenches than lovers. Everything is ok but we can't do two more years of this, right now. I can't help but wonder how different my perception would be if LO had been a sleeper. The no sleep is slowly deflating my life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate/page/2#post-1311146 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 22:19:32 +0000 heartonastring 1311146@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As someone who's gone from always wanting two to being one and done (DD is eight months old), I really want to comment on this thread. Alas, it's only 10:15 on NYE and I'm already in bed and really not feeling well, so I don't have the energy to write a coherent post on this topic at the moment. But I'll be back tomorrow with all my thoughts :)</p> <p>You are not alone in these feelings! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate/page/2#post-1311082 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 21:25:47 +0000 Mrs. Taco 1311082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just wanted to say how much I appreciate everyones' thoughts and feelings towards having #2...I read through the whole thread and it gave me a lot to think about. In theory, I know I want more than 1 child but like many others, it scares the bejesus out of me. It feels good to know I'm not alone :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate/page/2#post-1311068 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 21:13:26 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 1311068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: :heart: right back atcha </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate/page/2#post-1310845 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 18:03:05 +0000 lemondrop 1310845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like you need more time. There is no magic window that will make siblings closer or not closer to each other, so don't feel rushed on a decision like this. </p> <p>I'm absolutely worried that we are messing up a good thing that we have going with the 3 of us. Money is never in excess, and will adding another kid stress us further? But I do feel like we have a missing piece and am getting excited to meet this little guy! </p> <p>@Lozza: that is just so awesome to hear, definitely one of my biggest fears for #2, I want to enjoy him but dread the early stuff! I didn't fall for C until around 7 weeks when he smiled, and felt like a zombie for much of the first year. I REALLY started enjoying him when he was close to turning one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate/page/2#post-1310828 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 17:45:02 +0000 sarac 1310828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Grizz, wow, thank you for sharing that. </p> <p>I totally feel those of you who said they'd take an oops baby! I wish we'd managed it while I was still weighing more and in worse shape - it's *so* hard now to want to lose all the progress I've made. </p> <p>I was an only child until I got step siblings in middle school. One of whom I'm very close to, one not really. Those relationships matter to me, and I wish that I'd had a biological sibling, but I don't mourn for the lack. By any means. Being an only means so, so much in terms of attention and resources from parents. I think that is very valuable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1310805 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 17:19:14 +0000 sweet_p 1310805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can totally relate to so much of what's been posted in this thread. DD is almost 2 and things are finally starting to get a little easier, so the thought of adding a newborn into the family is terrifying, especially knowing what it's like since I've experienced it before.</p> <p>I'm a SAHM and Hubby has a long commute to work, so he's out of the house for over 12 hours a day. Although she is getting better, DD is pretty dependent/clingy with me and refuses to play on her own. I have no idea what I would do to keep her occupied while I was feeding, changing, putting the newborn to sleep. She's also not a great sleeper and didn't sleep through the night until past 1 year (and still wakes up often in the middle of the night!) so I'm afraid a crying newborn would wake her up. </p> <p>People always seem so shocked and almost appalled when I tell them I'm considering not having any more children. I would absolutely love a sibling for DD because I think she would be a great older sister, but it's not enough reason for me to get pregnant again when I'm not 100% sure it's the best for our family. Not only that, but I feel like our marriage isn't strong enough at the moment to handle the challenges a newborn brings. </p> <p>I'm also really conflicted...sorry for rambling :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1310768 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 16:59:00 +0000 Boheme 1310768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@redsmarties: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1310636 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 15:51:38 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 1310636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have huge anxiety about having a second LO, but its for a bit of a different reason. I have PTSD surrounding LO#1's birth, and a history of anxiety and depression that were made much worse as a result. Though I'm fine now (medicated ;) ), I still worry a crazy amount about adding to our family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1310630 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 15:50:12 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 1310630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: @lovehoneybee: @MsLipGloss: speaking as someone who was very ambivalent about No. 2 and now has an "oops baby" -- I can say that I'm glad now that baby is here, but the pregnancy was very rough, full of mixed feelings and some low points I wouldn't wish on anyone. Perhaps if you went on secretly wanting an "oops" it would be different ... But then that mostly removes the "oops" from the equation ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1310604 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 15:43:25 +0000 lovehoneybee 1310604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: @MsLipGloss: There's not a small part of me that wishes for an Oopsie-Baby to take the decision out of our hands. But with an IUD that probably won't happen :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1310595 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 15:40:07 +0000 lovehoneybee 1310595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: I want to second the notion that your kids might not grow up close. I have 6 siblings (3 bio, 3 step that I grew up with) and I talk to 1 of them on a semi-regular basis. I haven't seen one of them in a decade, and won't speak to him. Another I have to see occasionally (his soon to be ex-wife is my BFF), but I can't stand him. I make niceties through clenched teeth. Having siblings does not equal having a lifelong BFF, or even friend, and to be honest, I'm a million times closer to D's brothers and their wives than I am any of my siblings. </p> <p>Rant over...I just get very frustrated when people tell me I have to give E a sibling because I will otherwise be depriving him of a life-long friend. </p> <p>As to the OP, I definitely empathize. We're currently in a stale-mate over whether or not to have a second. I want one, D doesn't. I'm still young enough that the conversation has been shelved for the time being. I can't tell him that I'm not positive that I actually want another child, though, because he'd shut the door and lock it and I'm not sure I want that either. </p> <p>All things considered E has been an easy baby, but he's very demanding. My patience is sorely tested with just him. I'm a SAHM now but I need to go back to work...I WANT to work, for my own sanity, because while I'm glad I've been able to stay home with him for the first year and a half or so, I'm really not cut out to be a SAHM. But the thought of two kids in daycare? Sheesh. </p> <p>Going further, I know we can give E a good life. He will get most of our attention, and financially we will be able to give him a lot. We will be able to buy him nice things he wants, go on vacations, help pay for college...none of which is strictly necessary, but things I didn't get growing up that I want to give him. Adding another child into the mix would lessen what we could give each of them, and do for our family as a whole. </p> <p>And I'm tired. So tired. I can count on one hand the number of times I've slept all the way through the night in the past 20 months. E is FINALLY starting to STTN on a fairly regular basis, and the thought of doing it all over again just sounds exhausting. </p> <p>But then when I try to think about what life would be like with just him it feels incomplete, and a little bit lonely. E has 4 cousins on D's side that he sees a few times a year. He's 5 years younger than the youngest, which won't matter when they're adults but is a big gap as children. </p> <p>The thought of not having another baby bump, of not having a new squishy newborn again, of not having the image I have in my head of two sets of little feet running down the stairs on Christmas morning makes me sad. </p> <p>So I'm no help, because I'm really conflicted, but just wanted to add my conflicted-ness, lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1310514 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 15:06:13 +0000 cascademom 1310514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is me. We've hit a nice stride with LO at 16 months old. I have moments where I'm so ready for another, then others not. I've always envisioned two kids. The reality seems scarier to me. We've put off our timeline by a few more months than originally thought to do some things for our family like sell our condo and move. At this point, I'm almost okay with waiting until he's 2 years old to start trying for #2. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1310430 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 14:40:54 +0000 Corduroy 1310430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have big fears! I was not a fan of the infant period. At 4 months I was (scared but) thrilled to go back to work. At 6 months I was able to breathe a big sigh of relief and now at 10 I'm falling deep head over heels in love more and more every day. </p> <p>We want another but I don't know when I'll feel like I can do it again. I'm pretty sure I was a #2 surprise for my mom since my brother and I are very close in age. She's always said she was already pregnant with me before she knew what she was getting into with my brother. My MIL adopted her second when she was 6 months so neither of them has been helpful in weighing in on family planning. </p> <p>@Lozza: Hooray - sounds like there's hope! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1310400 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 14:31:58 +0000 BananaPancakes 1310400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lozza: The fact that your 2nd was totally different than your first is so reassuring. I was a lunatic for the first 6-8 months of my son's life, and it's one of my main worries about trying for #2. I can only hope if we decide to have another, it'll be so much less terrifying than the first. </p> <p>@grizz: Also one of my huge fears in adding another. It took us a full year to feel like a normal, happy couple again. And we were rock solid before having a child. The adjustment kicked us in the ass way harder than we thought it would. I think we have gone through it once and can get through it again, but man, it was rough.</p> <p>@skibobrown: I could have written a very similar post. I don't even have a starting point as to how things could work logistically with another. I don't think not having a sibling is short-changing my son, but I know my husband does. I just haven't come to the conclusion on whether or not adding another child will actually add positively to our life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1310275 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 13:59:28 +0000 Lozza 1310275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, I wanted to add that I think it can make a big difference how old your older child is when you have the second. If we'd had #2 when #1 was turning 2, I think it would have been really hard. In contrast, by the time we had #2, LO#1 was two and a half years old, and was already really verbal and fairly independent. My older son is old enough that he doesn't require constant supervision (like, I can feed the baby in one room while the toddler is playing by himself in another room, or I can send the toddler upstairs for something while I stay downstairs with the baby). He's old enough to be helpful, and to understand concepts like "wait for a minute while I finish this and then we'll do that fun thing together." He sleeps through the night from 8 PM to 6:30 PM with no problem. He's very physically independent but now (as of probably the last 4-5 months) also has the intellectual maturity to not require as much handholding or hovering- for example, I can let him run around in the front yard while I get the baby into the car, without worrying about him running into the street. So if you're overwhelmed by the idea of managing 2 when managing 1 is already challenging, maybe wait 6 months and reconsider when your daughter is older and more independent? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1310242 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 13:48:14 +0000 Lozza 1310242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We definitely knew we wanted 2 kids, so our discussions were more along the lines of "when" than "if," but I will say that I really did not at all like the infancy period with my first kid, and I am LOVING it with my second. I hated both pregnancies (though the second was generally less disruptive than the first- I had pretty bad prenatal depression with the first), so that was sucky, but I generally tell people I didn't like my older son till he was 6 months old. He wasn't even a difficult baby at all- it was more that I was just tired and overwhelmed all the time, and had a hard time dealing with the loss of autonomy that comes with having a kid. I was actually relieved when I went back to work when my oldest was 9 weeks old because I felt like I had more control over my life that way. </p> <p>In contrast, with my second kid, I've been the opposite- I am now totally "that mom" who thinks her new baby is the best thing in the world and I could sit around all day looking at him and telling him how cute he is. I'm sure some of it is him being easy, but I think a lot of it is just me feeling a lot more capable and relaxed about things. It really has been almost the opposite of my experience with my older son- I was expecting to have to just suffer through infancy till we got to the point where LO #2 was old enough to be more fun and interactive (which I define as around 6 months or so), but LO#2 is currently 3 months old, and while I can't say that I love every single minute with him.... I'd say that I sincerely enjoy 90% of the time with him. I'm reveling in the infancy period in a way that I never at all expected (I'm also a person who generally dislikes children and has historically had zero interest in babies, so this whole experience was unexpected on a variety of fronts). So I just wanted to share that it is possible that you'd feel differently about the infancy period with a second kid. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1310129 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 12:56:18 +0000 yoursilverlining 1310129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We’re pretty committed to being one and done, but I wanted to chime in because I come from a very small family too. If my brother doesn’t have kids with his last name; that’s the end of our (my) last name. My parents only had one sibling each, so I only have one aunt and one uncle and have only 3 first cousins. My aunt had children as a teen whereas my parents waited until their mid-30’s, so 2 of my first cousins are 20+ years older than me, and had started families of their own by the time I was born - - so, we’ve never been close and certainly didn’t grow up together. My last first cousin is nearer to my age, but we grew up in opposite countries (and then opposite coasts), and we’ve only gotten together less than 10 times in our lives. I didn’t suffer any trauma or loneliness from not having family around (by the time I was born, I only had 1 living grandparent who lived out of state until I was in my 20’s), and had a terrifically happy childhood. </p> <p>The grass is always greener - - I don’t think anyone should feel pressure to have a child to “give” a LO a sibling. I hear that all the time, and just don’t get it. </p> <p>Another part of the reason we’re content to stop at 1 is I really do not want to be pregnant again. I wasn’t a good pregnant lady, I had bad PPD and, like you, I really don’t like the infant stage. The thought of doing that all over again while working full time and raising a toddler is overwhelming and makes me sad. That's not enough touching the financial stuff, which is pretty overwhelming on its own.</p> <p>If you want to go for #2, that’s great, but if you find that you really want #2 because of familial concerns - - well, I don’t think you should feel that pressure. You can’t guarantee family will always be around, or that your children will grow up to be close. Sometimes, especially when we come from tiny families – we’ve got to make our own family from friends and loved ones!<br /> :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1310124 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 12:54:05 +0000 Boheme 1310124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am terrified of having another. I had a horrific L&amp;D, PPD to rival what I went through in L&amp;D, and DS is a terrible sleeper. I will be totally honest even though this isn't a Gold thread, but if we had a second and the experience was like baby #1, I don't think my marriage would make it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1310099 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 12:44:48 +0000 mediagirl 1310099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skibobrown: hey, welcome to the club. :) We have been one and done since we talked about having our daughter. Then, we caught the baby fever. Our daughter is amazing and we would love to give her a sibling. We're both scared to death of doing it, though. Some background:</p> <p>My brother lives across the country and is probably only having one.<br /> I'm 36, husband is 40.<br /> His sisters have kids but live far away and all of their kids are at least 11 years old (so no one close to our daughter's age).<br /> My parents are the only relatives who live close by. Close by = 2.5 hours away.</p> <p>Now, let's talk about actually having that second child: I live in the states and work for a small company. If I want to take maternity leave, I have to use up all of my PTO for the year and can take unpaid time after that. We have big goals in life and every once in a while like to spoil ourselves by doing things like buying that expensive container of raspberries and going out to eat. (yes, these little things are how we spoil ourselves. We are not lavish people, we have paid off cars, live in a not-so-desirable town and don't go on vacations every year). </p> <p>I'm afraid of how our lives would change to pay for 2 in daycare, 1 in daycare, 1 in private school. 2 in private school (forever). How we would still save for retirement, how we would save for a second child's college education, etc. I'm scared! He's scared! I feel you. Big time. But, my clock is ticking, so is his and in the next 2 years, we need to make a very big decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1310061 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 12:31:33 +0000 BKCaribBaby 1310061@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, yes, yes! We have almost exact same circumstances with relatively demanding jobs and no family help. LO is 9 months, and I often am in awe of women with LOs the same age who are already contemplating an addition to their families. I sometimes wonder how I can even handle an additional LO with a DH who has a demanding job and me with a job that's not super easy either. </p> <p>While I don't feel like I "need to give LO a sibling" I am not sure that I don't want an additional child either. I just know that I'm just starting to feel like life is settling a little, and I just want to enjoy it. I'm also not young, but I am not going to let that rush me into something that our family isn't ready for yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1310012 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 12:13:36 +0000 Mrs. Twine 1310012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To start with, please chalk "owing" your daughter a sibling off of your list. Siblings can be great, but so can being an only child. I have known many only children who adored their up-bringing and wouldn't have changed a thing. If you truly want a second child, that's another thing altogether, but if you are only doing it for your daugher/out of obligation, I think you might end up regretting it if you have a hard time.</p> <p>Some things about having two are great. For example, I am typing at this moment because Ellie *asked* to play with Lorelei by herself and they are having a great time and doing a good job. This is awesome. Learning about taking turns and sharing and being kind to others and that you can't be #1 all the time (and having the benefit of having mom and dad's laser focus aimed elsewhere at least some of the time) happen in-house. </p> <p>But there's more juggling involved, for sure. </p> <p>All that said, just because you are nervous doesn't make it the wrong choice for your family, you know? I was really scared, too, and I think that my girls (and us) are better off for us being a family of four. Having some anxiety over a growing family seems to come with the territory for lots of us. Whatever you choose, things will work out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1309976 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 11:54:57 +0000 Greentea 1309976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: @rachiecakes: @sarac: I can so relate to all of these things! I work for myself and don't make much but my work is very important to me and so is living in the city and so is my physical and mental well-being... so much to consider! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1309933 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 11:34:42 +0000 lizzywiz 1309933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: This. My LO is 19 months and my health is still shot. For the first time in my life maintaining my weight is easy and it is all based on being too busy, no sleep and eating crap in 30 second snatches. I am wasted. And my personality has changed- much more grumpy! (my poor husband).<br /> I can't imagine going through this again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1309921 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 11:30:15 +0000 rachiecakes 1309921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skibobrown: yes! but one difference - I only thought I'd ever want one and now I desperately want a bigger family, but am terrified.<br /> We live in the city, and love it. But having two kids where we live just wouldn't be possible. We could never afford to purchase a home here, especially something bigger than a 2 bedroom. We could never afford childcare for two where we are either. We think about moving out of the area, a little further away, but would we be happy? Would I continue to work? Would I be happy not working? </p> <p>So many things to think about. I'm just going to enjoy DS for now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1309920 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 11:30:03 +0000 jetsa 1309920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: I would love an oops baby as well! lol. I also want them close together to be done with the baby years.</p> <p>J is 3 months and I just don't know that I can handle another, DH only wants one so I need to be resolute if I want two and I just don't know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fears-about-having-another-chid-can-anyone-relate#post-1309915 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 11:28:28 +0000 travellingbee 1309915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. I was just thinking about this last night in bed. I'm terrified. And as others have said, I'm 36 and don't feel like I have a lot of time to think about it. DH would be happy with just the one but I really think I want two. I just don't know how to deal with the first few years. Our LO is a terrible sleeper and I can't deal with several more years of no sleep. :( </p>