https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 01 Jul 2026 14:14:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feel-like-i-am-failing#post-13314 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 12:19:15 +0000 Rosie Girl 13314@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you guys for your support. It really means a lot to me, and its nice to know that others go through it too! its nice to hear other ideas on timeouts too.</p> <p>@Mr Bee: You will have to report back how timeouts are working for you! And what you find most effective. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feel-like-i-am-failing#post-13275 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 11:06:24 +0000 HLK208 13275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Okay, I typed too slow and repeated Mr.Bee :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feel-like-i-am-failing#post-13274 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 11:03:41 +0000 HLK208 13274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Don't ever think you're failing when you're trying and concerned. I started watching Super Nanny the other day and it really helped me to be more firm and understand how to punish toddlers...I've read quite a few parenting books but seeing it in action makes more sense.</p> <p>Also, I know this is annoying because I'm referring to television shows but Michelle Duggar was talking about how she disciplines on 19 kids and counting (that lady has got to have a lot of paitence!) she said the main thing is to remain calm and never use anger because it will just be thrown right back to you. I realized that is so true, DH was upset with our son last night and used his stern angry voice but my son only looked frightened and then yelled. So I used a quiet and calm voice to explain what he did was wrong and lead him to time out where he actually stayed there without crying. </p> <p>Sometimes it's just about changing a certain aspect of how you discipline that makes a world's difference. Try to catch an old episode of super nanny if you can though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feel-like-i-am-failing#post-13270 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 10:58:48 +0000 mrbee 13270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are about to start using timeouts, so I've been reading up on the various timeout systems.</p> <p>The Supernanny is always saying to get down to your LO's eye level, look them in the eye, and explain to them that they did something unacceptable... and that if they do it again, they'll go into time out. Then if they do it again, she says to put them in timeout and explain to them why.</p> <p>She also says that the length of a timeout should be 1 minute times their age. So a four year old would get a 4 minute timeout. </p> <p>Maybe a combination of that stuff would help your LO understand why they're in timeout, and help them survive the timeout?</p> <p>I have no idea if this stuff works, beyond having watched the Supernanny show (which is always showing amazing results). We're about to put it into practice though, so will share how it goes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feel-like-i-am-failing#post-13264 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 10:51:07 +0000 Andrea 13264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That sounds rough but this makes me think about what my mom always told me. "I am your mother and not your friend." Sounds harsh but I guess that was her way of telling me that she was the bad cop. I think there will be countless times as a parent that you will feel like your child hates you when you're only trying to teach them to right way. Hang in there! You're doing the right thing with the time outs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feel-like-i-am-failing#post-13254 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 10:44:07 +0000 Wondermommy 13254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO just turned 3 in Sept, and we have failure moments every single day. It's just a difficult age, and we all live through it, lol. I thought my (now) 11 y/o was the WORST toddler, until our youngest came along. He definitely has his older bro beat, by a long shot.<br /> This too shall pass.<br /> And then they become teenagers. Yay.<br /> Hang in there, and like Mrs. Bee said, just that you're worried about it, means you're NOT a failure. Keep your head up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feel-like-i-am-failing#post-13202 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 09:21:40 +0000 Mrsbells 13202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You just have to be consistent with him until he understands that certain things will not go unpunished and that screaming is also not acceptable. Children have great memory and it will eventually stick in his mind that bad behavior leads to time outs and skipped treats and good behaviour leads to positive reinforcement. In the end its going to pay off, and its better than just letting him do what he feels like whenever he wants </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feel-like-i-am-failing#post-13140 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 01:40:52 +0000 Red 13140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Being a new SAHM can be pretty overwhelming, not to mention isolating if you don't have support. Maybe look into joining a local mommy group? You'll quickly see that everyone has their own set of challenges and that you're perfectly normal in feeling the way you do. People don't call them the terrible 3's for nothing. Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feel-like-i-am-failing#post-13112 Wed, 09 Nov 2011 23:54:53 +0000 cyndistar3 13112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Awww you are not failing. They do these things. My daughter is almost 3 and she does these things quite often lately. I know how you feel, I also often feel like I am failing because she just doesn't want to listen anymore. I am trying to figure out what I can do better and I am hoping she is just going through a phase. Good luck, and don't feel too bad, no one is perfect :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feel-like-i-am-failing#post-13111 Wed, 09 Nov 2011 23:54:34 +0000 Mrs. Bee 13111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>just the fact that you're posting this and thinking about it shows that you're a good mom! </p> <p>i'm sorry it was such a sucky day. i hope he's an angel tomorrow to make it up to you. :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feel-like-i-am-failing#post-13110 Wed, 09 Nov 2011 23:48:36 +0000 Rosie Girl 13110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son will be 4 in February. I just recently started staying home with him full-time. He has been really pushing his limits and trying to get away with stuff. And he hasn't been listening. I get so upset and sometimes feel like I lose it. Today, I told him to pick his blankets up from the floor so I could vacuum, and he said "nope". I kept asking him, and he kept saying "nope". So I told him that he could either sit in time out and then pick up his blankets, or pick them up right now. And he said "nope". So I put him in time out. He kept getting up and laughing and making it a game, so he got sent to his room. He had to stay in there for like 30 min. I went in and tried to talk to him about what he did wrong and he just screamed at me and wouldn't even look at me.</p> <p>I feel like I am failing as his mom. I feel so horrible punishing him, even though I know it needs to be done. I feel like he thinks I don't like or love him, even though I tell him all the time. I am just getting so frustrated with him not listening and doing things I tell him not to. </p> <p>I felt so horrible after today, I sat on the couch and cried. When DH got home, he tried to talk to DS, and he wouldn't even look at him! What am I doing wrong? Am I completely failing as a mother? Sorry this is so long, I am still upset about it all. </p>