https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 17:40:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2174470 Mon, 11 May 2015 13:26:04 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2174470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Happy belated Mother's Day to you! I think that you have a right to feel the way that you do. It sounds as if you have a lot going on right now, and there's a lack in appreciation for all you do for others. I think doing something for yourself is a great idea, even if it's treating yourself to a pedicure this week! </p> <p>I've had a few losses, with my very first pregnancy announced on Mother's day 5 years ago. We lost that pregnancy a few weeks later, and I'm still sensitive about Mother's Day. No one but DH knows that, and I know that I can't expect them to. My BIL always makes a joke about us announcing on Mother's day, and it bothers me to this day....5 years and 6 pregnancies later. But I can't necessarily expect him to know that it bothers me unless I say something. If you feel like you would feel better by just mentioning it, then it wouldn't hurt. Otherwise, I think just treating yourself to something nice is great :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2174423 Mon, 11 May 2015 13:08:31 +0000 ShootingStar 2174423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think @Mae: hit the nail on the head. When you're pregnant the first time you're super aware of it. You feel different, your body is working so hard, you're making food choices based on being pregnant, etc. Essentially, you feel like a mom already. But guys don't really feel like dads until the baby's on the outside. So for most it doesn't occur to them that they should celebrate you on mother's day when you're pregnant. To them you're not really "parenting" yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2174418 Mon, 11 May 2015 13:04:48 +0000 Keybee 2174418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Happy Mother's Day! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2174403 Mon, 11 May 2015 12:53:08 +0000 tofuwad 2174403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Happy belated Mother's Day! I don't know about the other stuff, but I will say that when I was around my first/early second trimester, I felt really sad/weird that my husband wasn't more excited about our pregnancy. And now that I'm in my third, he's a lot more expressive of his excitement than he was. I think it's harder for men to really "get it" because while we're feeling all these changes going on inside of us, they can only know what we explicitly tell them.</p> <p>I used to get a little hormonal and upset when he wouldn't say goodbye to the baby, but now he's constantly greeting us together (but it didn't start to happen until I was really big, so late 2nd into my 3rd tri). Upset maybe isn't the right word because I wasn't really upset, I just wished he felt as involved as I did at that point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2173846 Mon, 11 May 2015 07:48:33 +0000 catomd00 2173846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Happy belated Mother's Day!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2173735 Sun, 10 May 2015 22:39:11 +0000 Mama Bird 2173735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Happy Mother's Day to you! And good luck with the house situation, that's pretty stressful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2173721 Sun, 10 May 2015 22:12:27 +0000 irene 2173721@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First of all, Happy mother's day to you.</p> <p>I think it is probably hormonal, as it is indeed.... a tad bit irrational to me if you were down because your husband didn't do anything special on Mother's day when you are 11 weeks pregnant.... Sorry.... but that's just the way I see it. </p> <p>For me, after being a mother for 3 years for a 3+ year toddler son, I still don't expect much from anyone on mother's day. I don't think I would care much if my husband would actually be traveling for work on mother's day. Yes it would be nice if someone did something, but it is not a must. I wouldn't over think over it. We should remind ourselves that we are indeed very very lucky that we are even fortunate enough to be a mother while many women don't even have the opportunity at all even though they really wanted to. </p> <p>I do understand, however, that you are feeling crappy with everything that happens around it though. With the hormones at first trimester I understand why you are feeling that way. I wish you well, and have a real Mother's day celebration the same time next year! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2173688 Sun, 10 May 2015 21:20:31 +0000 Mae 2173688@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I remember being frustrated in the first trimester because I felt so crappy, and so few people knew so I spent a lot of time with my "happy face" on, and DH was just going about his life as though we weren't going to have a baby in 7 months. It was hard because the baby was on my mind 24/7 but it was not on his 24/7. He knew we were having a baby but it wasn't as real for him as it was for me, feeling it constantly. And ya know, hormones.</p> <p>I think if mothers day had occurred during that time for me I would have known, rationally, that he didn't *have* to acknowledge it or do anything for it, but it would have been soooooooooo sweet if he had. Like 1000 awesome husband points for a $4 card and a snickers, ya know? And sometimes that makes it frustrating because if it would be so easy and make you so happy, why would he not do it? </p> <p>&lt;because he's a guy&gt;</p> <p>They just don't think that way a lot of the time. I do get it, because I like romantic gestures. But I'm learning to look more at the every day. And to be a bit blunt when I want my husband to do something that I know would probably not occur to him. Yes it would be BEST if he did it all on his own without a hint/instruction. But asking for what you need emotionally is better than waiting for inevitable failure and then being 1) pissed off he didn't do the thing 2) pissed off that you can't even REALLY be pissed off because he didn't really HAVE to do the thing and you maybe possibly shouldn't be as upset as you are but you can't help that you are, in fact, upset. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2173683 Sun, 10 May 2015 21:13:05 +0000 cat620 2173683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mamimami: I agree with you about having expectations lowered. I think I always expect too much, because I hear about other husbands doing breakfast in bed or writing a heartfelt card. My husband isn't super romantic, but I know he cares. I can't expect him to be something he isn't.</p> <p>@HourThyme: I do agree with you though that I would expect at least people to acknowledge me on mother's day as a pregnant lady. I would probably feel bummed too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2173656 Sun, 10 May 2015 20:24:14 +0000 wrkbrk 2173656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HourThyme: not irrational. Sometimes people don't think the way we do - even (especially?) our spouses. DW actually asked me a few weeks ago if she should get me a card (I'm 12.5 weeks). I said YES! Lol. So, not a surprise but that's ok. They don't think like we do!!! Happy Mother's Day :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2173606 Sun, 10 May 2015 19:11:37 +0000 mamimami 2173606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Happy Mother's Day to you! And congratulations. I am glad you celebrated yourself.</p> <p>Having said that, I don't want to be a Debbie Downer but even though I had a lovely day today, I have had to waaaay dial down my expectations for Mother's Day ever since I was pregnant and even after my kids were born. So I guess my advice is to lower your expectations and/or be very clear with your husband. (My husband honestly thought it was OK for him not to do anything for me the first Mother's Day AFTER my first child was born. "You're not my mother," he said.) After that he straightened up but really, it's just a day, a nice day to go out to eat or something, but kids take years to figure out what it's about, you have to share the day with every other mom out there, etc. I dunno -- I have been happier since getting all that straight in my head. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2173419 Sun, 10 May 2015 13:00:43 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2173419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>On Mother's Day when I was halfway through my first pregnancy I had the point of view that it would be nice if dh recognized it in some way, but I wasn't a mom the way people with "outside babies" are moms, so I wasn't *expecting* anything. Dh worked 16 hours then surprised me with flowers when he came home.<br /> My first Mother's Day with an outside baby I was still dealing with guilt from having postpartum depression and so I said I didn't want anything. I was pretty bummed when he didn't even say happy Mother's Day though. Went to work, went about the day like any other day. When I mentioned it I found out he apparently ordered flowers since he had to work but they never arrived, and for some reason he just never brought it up. To be honest I can't remember why.<br /> The following year I spent Mother's Day in the ER, and this year I've come to believe I have some kind of Mother's Day bad luck, lol, and I'm just insisting we ignore it!</p> <p>So no, not silly, but I would lower expectations a little, I think it'll help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2173417 Sun, 10 May 2015 12:58:28 +0000 BSB 2173417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think your feelings are valid. I think we all have certain expectations. </p> <p>Hugs to you and Happy Mother's Day!</p> <p>I am curious to know how many of us got acknowlegded on Mother's Day while we are pregnant. I just created a thread on it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2173414 Sun, 10 May 2015 12:52:19 +0000 Foodnerd81 2173414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HourThyme: you are a mother and you are doing serious work growing your baby right now! Happy Mother's Day! I think buying the card for the baby book is a wonderful idea. </p> <p>My DH was at a bachelor party in New Orleans when I was pregnant for Mother's Day. :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2173405 Sun, 10 May 2015 12:15:41 +0000 Astro Bee 2173405@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry you are having a rough day! First off, your feelings are totally valid, no matter whether they are hormonally induced or not. What people (and especially men) don't seem to realize is that from the moment we first get that BFP, many women do already feel like moms. I know I did, and I was constantly reframing everything I did with a thought to how I would do or celebrate x, y, or z with baby next year. </p> <p>My LO is 5 weeks old today, so this is all fresh in my mind. I wished a friend, who is 6 mos pregnant with her first, a happy Mother's Day today, and I want to wish you one, too! As PP have said, treat yourself today (you are already a momma), give your family a pass (they don't quite realize how you feel), and think of next year's Mother's Day (when you will have your LO in your arms and EVERYONE is calling to wish you a happy first (but really second!) Mother's Day! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2173393 Sun, 10 May 2015 11:49:29 +0000 simplyfelicity 2173393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HourThyme: First trimester is ROUGH with the lethargy, hormones and morning sickness. I had a legit meltdown because I broke the latch on the gate. Pretty sure I scared my husband.<br /> Thank you for your kind words. :heart: I am now 33 weeks pregnant and super excited. :happy:<br /> Just a thought: maybe write your little one a letter on the train? I think that would be very sweet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2173391 Sun, 10 May 2015 11:44:45 +0000 HourThyme 2173391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@simplyfelicity: Thank you! that's good advice. I have a train ride to take in a bit and think I will use that time to relax and reframe so that I can give others a "pass." I will be sure to do something kind for myself tonight. Also, I really actually do appreciate your saying that I might be taking things a bit personally right now, because it's probably kind of true! :) </p> <p>My condolences to you on the loss of your pregnancy last year, I cannot even imagine. Blessings to you on this day! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2173390 Sun, 10 May 2015 11:43:20 +0000 AngelicOne 2173390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Happy Mother's Day! I say you're not being silly. I was pregnant with out first baby this time last year (about as far along as you are now) and my hubby at least got me a card for Mother's Day &amp; signed it from our baby (actually used the fruit/veggie for the week since we didn't know it was a boy yet). </p> <p>Hopefully hubby changes his attitude soon :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2173388 Sun, 10 May 2015 11:42:35 +0000 kick641 2173388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think you are being too irrational. You can't really help how you feel, and you're not letting it negatively effect your behavior so don't beat yourself up. Maybe your mom will say something once you're at her house, and your husband might get around to saying something later. I'm actually due today and my husband didn't plan on doing anything for me unless the baby was already here. I think some people just don't think of pregnant women as moms, and it isn't really meant to offend. </p> <p>If your day ends up really disappointing, you should treat yourself to something to make up for it. I'm buying a new (too expensive) lipstick today from Sephora that I'll wear for new baby pictures when she comes.</p> <p>Edit: just saw your update about the card and I totally might steal it. So cute! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2173387 Sun, 10 May 2015 11:42:29 +0000 HourThyme 2173387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MOMTOLITTLEB: thank you for your kindness, I actually bought myself a "for the mommy to be" card. I know that's super silly but I am going to write myself a little note to me and baby and put it in his/her baby book. I am so excited about becoming a mom and so in love with my little nugget. </p> <p>Best of luck you you with the house!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2173386 Sun, 10 May 2015 11:38:21 +0000 simplyfelicity 2173386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First of all, let me wish you a very happy and blessed mother's day. Sounds like you have a perfect storm going on right now. Even if no one else acknowledges this day for you, treat yourself to a mother's day. Get yourself a coffee, take a bubble bath, read that book you've been dying to read, take a walk.<br /> Last year was rough for me because I had just lost a pregnancy and wished the day away. So I understand.<br /> As for your husband, he just has to get on board. You asked your parents for a favor and they said "no." That's that. You can't force someone to loan you money.<br /> I will be honest and say you are probably taking things a bit personally but you are pregnant and these hormones are nuts.<br /> Be kind to yourself and give everyone else a pass today. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2173385 Sun, 10 May 2015 11:36:55 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2173385@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you are a mom. I was celebrated when I was pregnant but didn't really have any expectations because it's not exactly the same as having had a child already. It would have been nice for your husband to say happy mothers day or even that he looks forward to celebrating next year. But I don't think men are always thoughtful in that way. I think pregnant mothers day is a bit of a gray area but why don't you buy yourself a cute maternity top to celebrate- you'll be needing it before you know it!! Good luck with the house situation, we've been in negotiations for a house for 3 weeks and I'm so tired of it. I wish it wasn't such a complicated thing to do!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-a-little-irrationally-upset-about-not-being-wished-a-happy-mothers-day-and-other-crap#post-2173384 Sun, 10 May 2015 11:22:55 +0000 HourThyme 2173384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hello Bees, </p> <p>I am posting a little hesitatingly because I know I'm being kinda silly and maybe even a tad selfish but.... I am 11 weeks pregnant and while walking around Target this morning saw a really cute mother's day card for the "mother to be" and I got a little sad and umm hormonal possible mid-aisle because my husband didn't think to get me a card or say something. Usually on Valentine's day and my birthday he surprises me with pastries and coffee for breakfast but today was just business as usual for him. Actually worse than business than usual because he's been upset since Thursday when we withdrew an offer on a house he really wanted us to buy. He's barely said two words to me since then. </p> <p>Clearly there are other issues tied in here but the bottom line is we couldn't afford it, we're not in a place to get a loan right now unfortunately, he wanted me to ask my parents for help, I did, they said no because the house is in bad need of repair and they didn't think it was a good investment. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but since we would have needed quite the loan from my parents I respect their decision to say no since it would have been their money. Of course, hubby thinks I didnt try hard enough and is really upset and disappointed that we won;t have a new house for baby. We do have a lot of money in savings and are really not in bad shape but due to other crazy factors just can't get a loan right now. (just putting that out there before ppl think we're irresponsible ;)</p> <p>Still, putting that aside, this is our first pregnancy and I am so excited and really wish he would show more enthusiasm. I know he's worried about finances and where to live etc but I feel he has just disengaged. Whether that is to protect his ego I don;t really care right now. Also, neither of my parents mentioned anything this morning when I spoke to them. All my mom was focused on was what I should bring her from target and when I would get to the house because she needs a lot of help with cleaning and some daily living things. She just broke her leg which is awful but come on! Am I nuts? Is maybe your pregnant daughter not the first person to ask for help on Mothers Day? I was planning on going over there anyway and wanted to prepare brunch but now am dreading a day of cleaning for her. </p> <p>I know I'm being somewhat selfish and would like to say it's just hormones but there's probably a little bit of "cray" in there too. I feel like I try really hard to do things that are special for others (believe it or not despite my crabbiness about going over and cleaning) and wish that others would do more of the same for me. </p> <p>Be gentle bees! Anyone get where I am coming from? Anyone experience similar disappointment? I get it that I'm not really a mom yet but is it nuts to want a little acknowledgement? </p>