https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 02 May 2026 18:49:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843681 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 11:41:19 +0000 hellobeeboston 2843681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: OMG I was exactly the same. I was SO sad for my first... I cried a lot....fast forward 2.5 years and my second child is probably my favorite, hahaha... kidding, sort of.<br /> :happy: :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843666 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 11:02:08 +0000 Sams Mom 2843666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: Best of luck today, praying for a speedy uncomplicated delivery. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843663 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 11:00:20 +0000 Mrsbells 2843663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: its natural to feel some sort of anxiety about making room in your heart for another child. From experience once the 2nd baby comes both kids will somehow each take up your whole heart<br /> The hospital stay was the hardest for me espcially whwn the older one came to visit and it was time for her to leave but it all worked out and she enjoyed time wth grandma </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843639 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 10:01:49 +0000 SupernovaJ 2843639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: That made my eyes water. Literally how I felt when I was pregnant with baby #2. </p> <p>The night I went into labor with baby #2, DD was sleeping upstairs in her crib. Once my contractions started to get really painful and I knew we needed to leave for the hospital soon, I walked up the stairs and into my DD's bedroom for one last embrace with her as my only baby. She was sleeping in my arms but I will never forget that moment--ever! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843636 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 09:57:49 +0000 SupernovaJ 2843636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lioneyes: Aww mama. Appreciate your honesty. Pregnancy is so dang hard and of course the child that's living and breathing in front of you is your main priority and the center of your universe. Nothing wrong with that. I agree, husbands don't know the toll a pregnancy can take. You're right though, once that baby is here there will be no regrets. Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843631 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 09:50:09 +0000 SupernovaJ 2843631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>SO normal!! I was extremely emotional when baby #2 was about to arrive. Actually, I was semi-sad and dreading it about half the pregnancy even though I was still excited at the core. </p> <p>There's a video my husband took of us when they brought DD to meet DS for the first time at the hospital. I was holding DD over the bassinet and couldn't stop crying--I was very emotional (though SO happy about our new baby boy!). I think the pregnancy hormones didn't help. I recall feeling a ton of guilt for bringing another baby into the world when DD had been the center of our universe.</p> <p>But let me tell you, those feelings dissipate so quickly! We're so crazy about our second LO we're even trying for our third now. :shocked: </p> <p>When our first came along, I recall mourning the end of that chapter with just my husband, too. Change is hard in general and even more so when you get adjusted to life as first time parents, and then preparing for it all over again. It might take a few weeks or even months to get adjusted at first but then you won't be able to imagine life any other way--so cliche but so true. You'll be fine! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843613 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 09:08:37 +0000 Adira 2843613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: This is sooooo normal!!! I remember being very pregnant with number 2 and crying at night because I felt like I was ruining my older one's life - he had gotten one-on-one attention for all his life and we were totally going to throw a wrench in that! I wanted two and I knew it would all work out, but I still felt kind of awful about it!</p> <p>Now my kids are 3 and 5 and I'm have zero regrets! &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843549 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 06:23:27 +0000 SweetiePie 2843549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt that way leading up to it and the guilt after he was born - oh my. I felt like I had ruined DS1s life. Even though he was totally fine! I think a lot of it is hormones and it’s a big scary adjustment. And yeah, it might be hard for your first child for a little while.<br /> But it doesn’t last! You’ll get into a groove and you’ll see that the older one is totally fine and it will pass :-) I’m 6.5 months in and I want to say that the guilt only lasted for a couple of weeks.<br /> (But admittedly my older one transitioned extremely well, we didn’t have any negative reactions to the baby ever). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843516 Tue, 04 Sep 2018 20:52:35 +0000 Mrs. Goose 2843516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I cried a few times in my second pregnancy and after about making my first have to grow up too fast. I have written her a letter telling her how special and loved she was and is. My kids are 22 months apart. Probably around 6 months into life with two I stopped feeling guilty sometimes for making her an older sister so soon. She never cared at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843511 Tue, 04 Sep 2018 20:37:40 +0000 Becky 2843511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So normal. I think it really depends on the kid too. Like if we were to have a third I wouldn’t be worried about DD2 at all, but would be concerned how it would impact DD1 because she’s so sensitive. I will always remember how little DD1s hand looked when I put her to bed the night before DD2 was born. I still get choked up thinking about it! I was pretty upset my entire second pregnancy because I agonized over how another baby would affect our family dynamic (and it was planned!). I can’t say I don’t still wonder (like, maybe if we had spaced them further it would have been easier), but that has everything to do with DD1s particular personality. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843444 Tue, 04 Sep 2018 13:47:43 +0000 psw27 2843444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally normal. I definitely put my son to bed the night I had my 2nd and cried. But I have no regrets. My oldest loves his little brother so much and my little guy has been the best little addition of joy to our lives. </p> <p>@lioneyes: Ugh. Those shots - I've been there. They are not fun. They helped keep DS2 cooking but dang they hurt and itched! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843420 Tue, 04 Sep 2018 13:13:17 +0000 crazydoglady 2843420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lioneyes: I'm sorry. ❤ Sometimes I think our SOs don't REALLY get how much it sucks to be pregnant (especially when you are extra health considerations.) I understand the feeling because my newly 3 year old son is very speech delayed as well and is now in the district to start recieving services. I have spent so much time devoted to his therapy that it seems weird to have a split focus. I can only imagine that having a sibling will be a huge blessing in the end. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843387 Tue, 04 Sep 2018 12:01:27 +0000 lioneyes 2843387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dealing with this so hardcore right now. DS is turning 4 soon and is very speech delayed and has a ton of school/therapy etc lined up for the Fall. And I feel like I need to focus on that and getting him acclimated to a new classroom and teacher at school, and don't have time to plan for baby #2's arrival in 2 months. DH is really angry at me because I was upset this weekend and said that being pregnant this time sometimes feels like a mistake (it's been 90+ degrees, my hip hurts so much, I have acid reflux from everything including water, and I have to get weekly progesterone shots that leave giant knots. SO I'm really not loving being pregnant on top of everything else.) I was ambivalent about having a second, and he really wants one and I know when she gets here it will be great, but it's hard because I feel like DS needs to be my priority now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843295 Mon, 03 Sep 2018 21:03:02 +0000 MACSUNSHINE 2843295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady completely normal although it does not make it any easier! My second is almost three months and I still have moments but it definitely has gotten easier. </p> <p>I cried a lot the first few weeks about missing my first born. We moved in December and have not gotten to know our neighbors that well yet, I was out walking with the baby probably 3 days after she was born and burst into tears when the woman asked about my son! She was very gracious and has two kids so she completely got it. It is very common, hugs! Just know it may continue after the baby is born. </p> <p>I had the feeling of not being able to meet both kids needs fully when I am the primary caregiver when I am home normally. I do work outside of the home. I am just the one that does dinner, bath and bed time normally. I felt like I was not holding the baby enough but also missed my son terribly. It has gotten much easier and better.</p> <p>I am trying to take him out for special adventures just he and I. I also am looking forward to drives home from daycare just the two of us.</p> <p>@qbbride I did the same! I was in labor and still did bed time etc for the same reason. I did not even mention to my husband that I was in labor since I knew if I admitted it then the dynamic of our normal routine would change and I did not that want that. Momma love it strong! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843276 Mon, 03 Sep 2018 19:01:45 +0000 crazydoglady 2843276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you, all. It helps to know that this is totally normal fear but, largely, unfounded.<br /> @CatchAFallingStar: I wrote you back. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843225 Mon, 03 Sep 2018 11:21:11 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2843225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: I posted on your wall :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843221 Mon, 03 Sep 2018 10:02:32 +0000 littleblessings 2843221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt the same way with #2. I laid in bed with my oldest and cried until my ride to the hospital came and got me. I felt crazy. I was so ready to meet my little boy but wasn't ready for my little girl to become a big sister. Biggest help with the hospital stay and all was random photos and videos from those caring for my child or children. I have 3 now. I'm 33 weeks pregnant with my 4th and having the same feelings regarding my current youngest and this pregnancy ending. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843207 Mon, 03 Sep 2018 08:53:15 +0000 QBbride 2843207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: I felt the exact same way when I had DD. In fact, I insisted on putting DS to bed (while I was in labour 🤣) because I knew it would be the last time he would ever be an only child 😭 I still get teary thinking about that night. It was an adjustment of course, but it’s been so amazing having 2 kids! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843197 Mon, 03 Sep 2018 07:52:00 +0000 FaithFertility 2843197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: I balled like a baby in the hospital waiting for them to check me in lol I was just a burst of emotions! DD was 22 months when DS was born </p> <p>I laughed and cried alot that night, but I promise it is worth it all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843188 Mon, 03 Sep 2018 06:10:48 +0000 Kaohinani 2843188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: I felt this way when I was pregnant with DS (now 3) and DD (now 10) had to stay at home while my mother watched her. I had to have a csection, and due to complications, was in the hospital for a week. Hubby was active duty ARMY at the time so he was splitting his time between 1/2 days with his co and then at home with her and the hospital with me. I was so overjoyed with the birth of my son; however, I felt like (somehow) by having him, I was taking away from the life she had known and found comfort in. The "mom-guilt" was strong. Now, we've been trying for #3 (34 cycles now with unexplained 2ndary infertility) and I KNOW I will feel the same if I become pregnant again as my DD will be pushed further into becoming a "big girl" (* those teen years are SO close!) and my DS won't be "the baby" any more. New familial identities with the shift JUST because mom has an insatiable need to have another baby. 😉 Long story, short - I feel you, it is normal, it is hard ... You are not off your rocker. 🧡 Best of luck with the new bundle! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843181 Mon, 03 Sep 2018 05:18:41 +0000 erinbaderin 2843181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I basically didn’t enjoy my second pregnancy at all because I just thought about how B was going to be so confused and upset and we were taking something away from him, on and on. I cried all the way to the hospital about how much I was going to miss B. But their relationship now is better than I ever could have hoped for. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843179 Mon, 03 Sep 2018 04:42:38 +0000 Silva 2843179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m having my third this fall, so obviously I’m team more babies. I love it.<br /> But I will say this- loving more than one child is really hard sometimes! It took me awhile to say that to myself but it’s been really helpful. It’s kind of like the bittersweet pain of loving a child that is growing up so quickly before your eyes. Loving two children has meant that I can’t give either of them my all. I am okay with this (team more babies), but it doesn’t necessarily make it less painful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843174 Sun, 02 Sep 2018 23:15:39 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2843174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's totally overwhelming sometimes but totally normal. </p> <p>It is going to be wonderful! Sometimes there are growing pains for the older one, but it is really all worth it. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843173 Sun, 02 Sep 2018 23:11:19 +0000 crazydoglady 2843173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: @MamaBear87: @bhbee: Thanks, ladies. I got emotional just reading your responses...these hormones are legit! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843170 Sun, 02 Sep 2018 22:24:59 +0000 MamaBear87 2843170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms.Mermaid: thank you!! It's been a whirlwind ☺ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843168 Sun, 02 Sep 2018 22:18:19 +0000 Ms.Mermaid 2843168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaBear87: Ahhh ahhhh ahhhh congratulations!!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843165 Sun, 02 Sep 2018 22:08:24 +0000 MamaBear87 2843165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt like this on day 2 of knowing I was pregnant with number 2. And you know we tried awhile so I felt ridiculous but I think it's normal to be anxious about such a big change. I'm sure once baby is here you won't be able to imagine life before </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843163 Sun, 02 Sep 2018 22:05:33 +0000 Sams Mom 2843163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: I super stalk some too 😂 no judgement! I'm hoping I get mine within 3 cycles because that's all I can get out of my doctor after 6 clomid cycles. And I'm honestly kind of scared of doing anything more than oral meds. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843162 Sun, 02 Sep 2018 22:05:31 +0000 bhbee 2843162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep normal! And late pregnancy hormones don’t help for sure. But like people said above I promise it will be fine. Seeing your kids together is amazing and siblings are a huge gift to each other ... whatever you “take away” in attention they get back and more in a lifetime friend. Hugs! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-conflicted-about-baby-2#post-2843153 Sun, 02 Sep 2018 21:46:21 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2843153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: I felt exactly the same way 6 months ago when our second daughter was born. I was so sad to leave my “baby” (3YO) to go have a new baby. It was so very emotional.<br /> I cried and cried. But you know what? It was all for nothing. The second I finally held my new baby girl, I knew everything was going to be OK. Plus, DD1 had an amazing weekend with her grandma! She loved coming to visit us in the hospital. It was all such a neat and memorable experience for her. In fact, she asks me all the time when we can go back to the hospital and have another baby! 🤣 All this to say...go ahead and feel these feelings. But know that they will pass and turn into joy beyond joy. Trust me. :heart: </p>