https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 27 May 2026 22:20:29 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately/page/2#post-1212056 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 19:11:09 +0000 cmomma17 1212056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: I Can see where you are coming from, but I'm the one who introduced the term fail here and I stand by that choice. It's how I feel! I think it's great that you are so accepting of yourself and so confident in your abilities. I obviously have some issues with perfection, like a lot of women do. I'm sorry if my thread made you sad. I was venting here because I knew other women would be able to relate to my feelings. I also did feel very encouraged and supported by @littlek (and others).</p> <p>ETA I tried to word the above very carefully. For the record it is not intended to come across as snarky at all, to anyone. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately/page/2#post-1211959 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 17:52:20 +0000 littlek 1211959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: I'm not quite sure why you are attacking me. You can just respond to the OP instead of trying to make an example out of my comment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately/page/2#post-1211944 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 17:42:20 +0000 sarac 1211944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlek: What I wish is that we could remove the idea of 'failure' from the conversation, and especially remove the idea that 'every mom is failing at something'. I'm not failing at anything - and it isn't because I'm some genius super mom. I just don't view it in those terms - I parent as best I can, I work my ass off to keep a nice house and keep us all busy and happy. And what doesn't get done is ok. It's really all just fine. My family sees that the hard work I put into our lives, and if something isn't perfectly done, no one views it as a failure. </p> <p>It makes me so sad when I hear women say that they feel like they're failing at motherhood, or that they feel like they're getting it all wrong. What kind of impossible standards are we holding ourselves up to if we feel that way? I try my hardest to opt out of 'perfection', to opt out of 'having it all' and of meeting someone else's standards. I wish that we could all just trust that we're amazing parents. </p> <p>What really bugs me is that we have to perpetuate this passing/failing dichotomy. No one has to be failing - we can all just be getting by as best we can. OP, it sounds like you're doing an awesome job, and more importantly, it sounds like you're doing your absolute best. And how could you do any more than that? You couldn't. I wish we could all just give it our all, and know that it's enough. I wish that encouraging and reassuring other women didn't need to include this idea that 'every mother is failing at something'. None of us are failing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately/page/2#post-1211773 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 16:29:29 +0000 cmomma17 1211773@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Twine: well I found out via this thread that I am a rockstar, magical unicorn when it comes to bed making! lol so at least there is that! ;)<br /> The only other thing I can think of is I have a super cute baby and he's a happy, healthy boy. If that's all I have, that's still pretty good, right? :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately/page/2#post-1211423 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 14:28:41 +0000 Mrs. Twine 1211423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The secret is just that you aren't around long enough to see the entirety of those other moms' days. I think that we parents have an air-brushed standard (so to speak) of what passes for good parenthood. And it just isn't so! You are in very good company. I know I feel like a failure lots of the time. Is there anything you know you are doing really well that you can focus on and give yourself a pat on the back for? I bet there are lots of things. Sometimes I find that helps me if I'm in a funk. "Gee, I know I feel hopeless at x, y, and z right now, but I am really doing well at a." And then if I can allow myself to feel even just a little bit good about how I'm doing, my positive attitude can tune me in to seeing more of what I'm doing right. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately/page/2#post-1211346 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 14:10:32 +0000 Smurfette 1211346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cmomma17: Heck yeah, pumping counts as double gold stars! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately/page/2#post-1211344 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 14:09:51 +0000 cmomma17 1211344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: true. although I try to make that DH's job ;) hehe I should get a gold star for making the milk right?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately/page/2#post-1211336 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 14:08:47 +0000 Smurfette 1211336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cmomma17: You still have to make bottles! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211331 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 14:07:31 +0000 autumnlove 1211331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Lots of hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211314 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 14:03:01 +0000 mrskc 1211314@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cmomma17: hugs mama! You are NOT a failure! I agree with @MsLipGloss: @littlek: Sometimes moms look perfect, but no one is perfect! We all have our own struggles. Maybe that mom with the cute outfit all put together has a messy house and eats out for dinner every night. She's just made the choice that for her looking nice is a higher priority than a clean house. Nothing wrong with that! And that mom that does all those crafty things has a mountain of laundry to do b/c crafting is what she prioritizes. Maybe just figure out what your priorities are and let others things go and be ok with that. Things will get easier. My son just turned one and I'm finally feeling like I've got things *somewhat* figured out and I'm feeling much more like myself. You'll get there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211311 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 14:02:52 +0000 JoJoGirl 1211311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cmomma17: See? All about priorities! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211304 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 14:00:54 +0000 cmomma17 1211304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: lol, from now on everytime I feel down, I'm going to go look at my made bed and feel like such a rock star. I also vacuumed this past weekend! woot woot!</p> <p>ETA: just because I make my bed doesn't mean my sheets are clean! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211295 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 13:58:58 +0000 cmomma17 1211295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: see, I'm so lame. I only have to get LO out the door 2-3 days a week! Today, my mom watches him at my house, I didn't even have to dress him! So really, what am I complaining about? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211289 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 13:58:32 +0000 JoJoGirl 1211289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cmomma17: LOLOLOL. yes, you are the bed-making unicorn! </p> <p>@MsLipGloss: That's actually the truth on this end too.. so our bed gets made once/month. :) Same frequency with which our floors get mopped, and carpets get vacuumed. Yes, please judge me. We're gross! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211281 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 13:55:53 +0000 cmomma17 1211281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@merriment: we live in a pretty small apartment too. If I had a house ... oh man, I can't even imagine! Your sweet potato smears made me giggle a little ;)</p> <p>@jojogirl: @mrslipgloss: DH and I (it's about 50/50) make our bed EVERY day!!! Yay, I win at something! I am the bed making unicorn!!! :) </p> <p>Don't even get me started on what a mess I am at work ... I am only discussing my homelife fails today ;) hehe </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211278 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 13:55:09 +0000 Smurfette 1211278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Girl, you are not a failure! It is SO hard working and being a Mommy! You just need to take it day by day. If you get LO to day care dressed, with bottles, and plenty of diapers, that is a win in my book! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211269 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 13:52:10 +0000 MsLipGloss 1211269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: A week because that's the last time our cleaners made it for me! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211268 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 13:51:42 +0000 JoJoGirl 1211268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: A week? I don't think my bed has ever been made. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211262 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 13:51:11 +0000 MsLipGloss 1211262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cmomma17: No, what you see are *glimpses* of what you only think are unicorns! Today, I look like one of those unicorns . . . until you look more closely and notice the baby snot on my shoulders. And sure, my kitchen is clean, but I am going to feed LO organic chicken fingers for dinner. Organic, sure, but a chicken finger is a chicken finger. And I am about 4 loads of laundry in the red, and running behind on 4 work projects . . . my bed hasn't been made in over a week. But man, I sure do *look* put together! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211259 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 13:50:45 +0000 JoJoGirl 1211259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cmomma17: You are so not a momfail. Being a working mom is a LOT of work!!! I just live and die by prioritizing. It's more important to me to cook (ie, crockpot...) than clean. Laundry must get done but putting away can wait. I have to get myself to work clothed but all else goes out the window. It's okay to be in survival mode :) &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211252 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 13:47:55 +0000 MsLipGloss 1211252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@merriment: Hah - me too. Along with my statement necklace and otherwise very put-together outfit, I am sporting shoulders smeared with baby snot today . . . which make a whole other kind of statement! :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211249 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 13:47:28 +0000 cmomma17 1211249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: that's part of my frustration today! I felt like I had a good rhythm going for a bit and then I got a cold and everything fell apart. :( I have been eating peanut butter sandwiches and rice and beans (rice that DH made and beans from a can) for weeks now, getting out the crockpot would be advanced! ;)</p> <p>@mslipgloss: but I SEE some of those unicorns prancing around! I swear! Cute outfits, nice makeup, cooking dinner, making crafts! I know I need to stop comparing. But even if I'm NOT comparing myself to others, I still have certain standards for myself that I'm not meeting. Like not living in filth ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211245 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 13:45:37 +0000 merriment 1211245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also agree with @littlek!<br /> It's hard! Some weeks I feel totally on top of dinners, but the laundry is exploding out of my closet. Some weeks the laundry is done, but we're eating the same thing every night for dinner.<br /> I never thought I would be so happy to have a small apartment as it is so much less to clean than a giant house! Sometimes we may look like we're "all together" when we're out and about, but that doesn't mean the laundry isn't exploding and we aren't having pasta for dinner for the 30th night in a row.<br /> Also...I only wear pony tails and when I arrived at work this morning, I noticed some giant smears of what may be sweet potato on the arm of my sweater. So there's that... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211221 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 13:37:13 +0000 MsLipGloss 1211221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rahlyrah: :heart: </p> <p>@cmomma17: I agree with @littlek: . . . there is no such unicorn! These days, I am all about minimalism, well, at least as it applies to housework and cooking and such! Readjusting the demands I place on myself has been tremendously helpful . . . even readjusting the expectations I have for my work performance. You can't be 100% in all areas all the time. Something has to give! I just don't want it to be my sanity, so I choose to let it be my laundry and my cooking. I wish I would have done that sooner! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211218 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 13:36:47 +0000 cmomma17 1211218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lisa1783: you made me LOL. :)</p> <p>@mrsscallop: thanks :)</p> <p>@scg00387: thanks :) </p> <p>@rahlyrah: you're sweet :heart: :heart: you're most definitely not a failure either! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211216 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 13:36:21 +0000 looch 1211216@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get it, I certainly do. Balancing everything is very difficult, and something has to give, because there are simply not enough hours in the day to get everything done to perfection.</p> <p>I have made the active choice to outsource where I can (housekeepers) and if I can't prep a meal in the crockpot, it doesn't get done. Eventually, it gets easier, then you get your rhythm down and things change, lol! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211207 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 13:30:08 +0000 Ra 1211207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can I just chime in to say how much I admire you working moms? I feel like a failure because I was unable to balance both. I was THIS close to a nervous breakdown when I was working.</p> <p>I don't see you as a failure at all. I see you as a strong, devoted mother. :heart: </p> <p>In the grand scheme of things, what's a little laundry or a few dust bunnies? You ladies are amazing. Don't allow yourselves to think any differently! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211186 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 13:22:29 +0000 cmomma17 1211186@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: aww man, I'm always so sad about Mondays! I get the "sunday blues" every week! I'd be okay if I had three day weekends each week!</p> <p>@babyboecksmom: it's not the moms on pinterest, it's the moms on hellobee! :) and a few in real life .... I'm like you, I get overwhelmed very easily. And I get flustered with LO around, so I definitely can't multitask. I wish he took longer naps! I think I need to get up earlier in the day for more "me" time. But we're already up everyday around 5 am (since the time change) so maybe that's not possible :( </p> <p>@bookish: my 6 month old would love playing with your giant dust bunnies ;) hehe</p> <p>@littlek: 70 hours?? Oh my :( Yeah, you're off the hook for any cleaning then for sure! By 18, LO better by cleaning everything himself! How long until they do chores?? lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211070 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 12:49:34 +0000 immabeetoo 1211070@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bookish: hmm there is a dust bunny under the couch I just saw... and I'm on my computer while LO naps :wink: </p> <p>@cmomma17: 6 months was just when I started to feel like me, with a baby instead of just surviving. I hope you feel more grounded in the very near future! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-like-a-momfail-lately#post-1211062 Tue, 12 Nov 2013 12:46:21 +0000 MrsScallop 1211062@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Big hugs lady! I know how you feel too. I had a full force meltdown just a couple weeks ago over this exact thing, and my LO is 11 months now. But, just this week, I feel like I am getting the hang of it. I still have lots to work on, but I don't feel like I am just failing at everything any more. So it does get better! I will never be a Pinterest mom, and that's ok. I know you are a great mom and that's all that matters! </p>