https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 01:26:37 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-from-a-distance#post-2338140 Thu, 29 Oct 2015 08:22:09 +0000 ms.line 2338140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Theoneinamillbaby: Tessa, I am so glad @ms maths linked to your blog. I can only imagine the overwhelming pain of losing Eva, but even just reading about her life was profoundly awakening and moving to me. Thank you for sharing your stories so openly - sending much love and peace to your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-from-a-distance#post-2338097 Thu, 29 Oct 2015 07:59:09 +0000 Ms maths 2338097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Tessa, thanks for the kind comment. And don't feel responsible for my sadness! I chose to read your blog and am glad I did, both for the joyous parts and the painful parts. I just need to figure out how to deal with my response better.</p> <p>And thanks again to everyone else. Reading your thoughts has been really helpful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-from-a-distance#post-2337538 Wed, 28 Oct 2015 18:24:06 +0000 Theoneinamillbaby 2337538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi Ms Maths, This is Tessa from The One in a Million Baby. I'm so sorry my blog has caused you so much anguish. I think being a parent and mother means we feel more connected to other people's tragedy. I know I had to stop watching the news when all the Syrian refugees were on because of all the footage of little children.<br /> I understand that tension between not wanting to take on board everyone's anguish, but also not cutting yourself off from the fact that people are experiencing it every day. It's a tough balancing act.<br /> For myself, just know that while I am still grieving, Eva's presence in my life has made me a better person. I will always wish she hadn't died, but I am happy I got to be her mother at all.<br /> Thank you for reading my blog and for your kind comments.<br /> Tessa </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-from-a-distance#post-2337320 Wed, 28 Oct 2015 15:10:41 +0000 lamariniere 2337320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think volunteering is a great way to help ease your soul. It can ease the burden of feeling so helpless when faced with tragedies and loss. For me personally, I have been very touched by the refugee crisis, especially since I live in Vienna. The problem is visible and tangible, and I can help, even if it's just in a small way. I have gone to volunteer several times and it does make my heart heavy to see these people struggling when my life is so peaceful and easy in comparison. But it also lifts my spirits to know that I have helped someone or seen refugee children laughing and playing instead of looking at grim pictures in the news. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-from-a-distance#post-2337309 Wed, 28 Oct 2015 15:03:11 +0000 catomd00 2337309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm right there with you. I work for a health system and although my office luckily isn't in the hospital itself, I spend quite a bit of time there, lately a lot of time in the children's center. Even though I'm in meeting with admin, just walking the halls and seeing sick babies brings me to tears. The amazing thing is though, so many of them are still so bright and cheery! I lost a friend to cancer in 6th grade, so these things weigh heavily on me. It sadly makes me appreciate DD so much more. I do have to sometimes avoid reading stories because it causes me a lot of anxiety. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-from-a-distance#post-2337219 Wed, 28 Oct 2015 13:59:47 +0000 Ms maths 2337219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for replying, everyone. My husband has tried to be thoughtful and supportive the last few days, but I think he's a bit confused at how upset I've been. It's helpful to hear from other people who get so overwhelmed in the same way.</p> <p>PurplePeony, I think part of what's caught me off-guard is how much issues with kids affect me now. My "rational" self believes adult lives are just as valuable as children's lives; but since having kids, I really struggle with thinking about children suffering.</p> <p>TeaWithPaloma, I think the point you make about distinguishing between seeking out tragedy and being a support is a good guide for me.</p> <p>Ms. Badger, thanks for chiming in. I've been thinking of Lucas' story, too, and I am so glad to know that he always had someone who loves him with him, and I can imagine it would be so comforting for you and your family to have that. When thinking about what I should do with myself, I've been working through the idea that I am probably not going to make a difference on the "big things," but I can still work on trying to help with another person's heavy burden on the small things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-from-a-distance#post-2337188 Wed, 28 Oct 2015 13:39:36 +0000 PurplePeony 2337188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like a sh*tty person for this, but I actively avoid stories about sick, dying, and/or abused kids because I just can't handle them. It's not that I don't care, but there's just so much bad news in the world and I feel like I'm always just about at capacity for dealing with it all, and when kids are involved it just puts me over the edge. I'm still brooding about Aylan Kurdi, the Syrian toddler who drowned, because my family was vacationing only a couple miles from there a few weeks before it happened. It still makes me want to throw up when I think how my own baby was "swimming" in the same sea for the first time and having a great time, while that poor little boy (and so many others) was in such a horrible situation. I don't know how to get over the guilt and outrage and heartache. Like you, I'm just stuck. So you're definitely not alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-from-a-distance#post-2337096 Wed, 28 Oct 2015 12:53:05 +0000 Ms.Badger 2337096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hope this is helpful and doesn't makes your heart heavier but I think one of the most meaningful things someone can do to help is to volunteer to play with children in the hospital. My mom does this after our experience with Lucas. </p> <p>I know that I found a lot of comfort in knowing I gave Lucas everything I could and that he always had someone who loves him there with him, but not all families are as lucky as we were to be able to make that work. By volunteering in this way, you would be able to bring joy and happy memories to kids that already have too many sad and painful ones. Hospitals generally have a child's life department, and I assume that's who you would contact to volunteer in this way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-from-a-distance#post-2337086 Wed, 28 Oct 2015 12:46:10 +0000 Torchwood 2337086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel this way about all my fellow loss mamas. I get more upset on their behalf than I did my own (maybe because it's easier to process my losses that way?), and it really bothers me that there's nothing I can do. I want to make them cookies or something (I sell decorated cookies, so that's not totally random). I don't really have any answers either. If anyone has any ideas of something a stranger on the Internet can do for those going through miscarriages and losses, let me know! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-from-a-distance#post-2337062 Wed, 28 Oct 2015 12:27:57 +0000 Raindrop 2337062@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This happens to me a lot. I get sad (about bad things that happen to good / innocent people) or stressed out (that these bad things could happen to us) about the weirdest things. </p> <p>Usually I talk to DH and he pulls me through these moments. I tried talking to friends about it but they didn't care as much as me, so I'm glad DH is willing to listen and talk me through those times.</p> <p>You are not alone. I think your idea to volunteer is a good one. Also maybe talking about it with others? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-from-a-distance#post-2336962 Wed, 28 Oct 2015 11:29:04 +0000 Mrs Panda 2336962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly this is the main reason I am no longer religious. I just can't accept that these things "happen for a reason" or that there is an all loving and all powerful god that lets these kinds of things happen to innocent, good people. I don't mean to stir debate about religion, but it's my personal view, after having grown up very religious. It's almost easier for my to accept that it's random, no one is in control, and there's no such thing as fairness when it comes to these kinds of terrible tragedies. It's cynical, perhaps, and it doesn't make it better.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-from-a-distance#post-2336955 Wed, 28 Oct 2015 11:26:46 +0000 Tanjowen 2336955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just had this conversation with my younger brother, a very sensitive soul, the other day. He was/is having an extremely hard time with the school shootings that have taken place. I work in the court system and told him that one of the hardest processes in life is to learn that bad things exist and happen and to learn to not be upset or surprised by it. Repeated exposure aids in this, and the internet community and the news gives us repeated exposure. Once you aren't surprised, it gives you an opportunity to process the bad things and then act - and you taking steps to volunteer is a very important step towards that. Hang in there and lots of hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-from-a-distance#post-2336947 Wed, 28 Oct 2015 11:24:17 +0000 teawithpaloma 2336947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This strikes a chord with me. The woman who wrote the blog you are mentioning was part of a big podcast-based FB group called Longest Shortest Time mamas. Her story and the almost constant sharing of other tragic tales made me leave the group. It's not that I don't care or want to be a support but I worried about my own mental health. I still go down rabbit holes with blogs like the one above or another where the child was diagnosed and died of cancer in 2 weeks, etc. I don't put my head in the sand but I really try to be aware of when I am seeking out tragedy versus when I can be actual support to someone. </p> <p>The thing is that everyone deals with hardship (of different levels) whether it shared on a blog or not. Losing a child is the worst kind, of course. It helps me to do random acts of kindness for all the people in my life, even tourists on the subway who need help with directions. I practice kindness and sending out positive energy. </p> <p>I just allow myself to feel the feelings. I try not to spiral down. </p> <p>I hope this helps you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-from-a-distance#post-2336926 Wed, 28 Oct 2015 11:16:25 +0000 erinpye 2336926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I feel like this a lot, and it's so hard to stop thinking about. Try to focus on something in your day to day life that gives you happiness or peace, and have faith that after some time, your sad feelings will ease up. Hang in there, fellow sensitive soul. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-from-a-distance#post-2336884 Wed, 28 Oct 2015 10:52:16 +0000 Ms maths 2336884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I recently stumbled across the following blog</p> <p><a href="http://theoneinamillionbaby.com/" rel="nofollow">http://theoneinamillionbaby.com/</a></p> <p>It's written by a woman whose baby was born with Charge Syndrome and died earlier this year. The author is a wonderful writer, and she and her daughter are such beautiful people and the whole story so hard. </p> <p>The reason that I am posting is because I have been a mess since reading the blog (thinking about the author and her daughter, as well as other children I have only known through the internet or the radio). I've been breaking into tears for the last few days and have trouble concentrating at work. I'm just feeling completely overwhelmed by how unevenly hardship gets handed out in the universe. (I am taking steps to do more volunteering, something I have been thinking about but just let my life get in the way too easily.)</p> <p>Anyone else have experiences like this? How do you handle it? </p> <p>PS: I feel a little silly asking this, given that I am just observing from a distance. But I feel _really_ stuck. </p>