https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 03 Apr 2026 20:22:31 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-207741 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 01:23:23 +0000 brownie 207741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BeachMama: and fOr his 1st birthday cake we made wacky cake and coconut milk whipped frosting. So there are ways to do everything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-207740 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 01:22:23 +0000 brownie 207740@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BeachMama: we eat unprocessed foods. Lots of meat, veggies and fruits. There is a lot of convenient stuff I can eat but I've been finding more that I can. I love the intollerant offspring site. Quinoa cilantro avocado salad is delicious. I also frequent paleo recipe sites. </p> <p>For convenience foods, we go to whole foods and buy daiya cheese, coconut and rice yogurt, chicken nuggets and pizza stuff. I also eat a lot of my sons snacks. Brand that at pretty good with dairy free stuff (found at whole foods and/or target): revolution foods, happy baby, plum tots, Ella's kitchen. Restaurants that have been fantastic: chilis, Panera, Cpk, bjs brewhouse, yard house, cracker barrel, chipotle.</p> <p>My son also absolutely loves hummus. So we put hummus on albertsons brand bagels (only ones we've found without dairy and soy), made hummus quesadillas and am going to use it for pinwheels.</p> <p>We have to be careful but when I remember what he was like I don't even want dairy. I have gotten the go ahead to eat some and find I like my new substitutes better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-207729 Sat, 30 Jun 2012 23:52:24 +0000 BeachMama 207729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@brownie @ prettylizy - this may be a dumb question but what CAN you eat? What are typical things you eat for meals. I feel line everything is going to have some dairy. Are there any websites or resources you'd recommend? </p> <p>@meredithnyc - yes your experience sounds just how I feel. I sometimes wonder if I made a mistake. I mean, not everyone is meant to be a mother right? But during the precious few moments when she's not screaming and we are actually interacting I know I do love her. Then 5 min later I'm yelling obscenities at her again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-207345 Sat, 30 Jun 2012 11:32:22 +0000 prettylizy 207345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@brownie: I did the same thing and the difference in her personality is like night and day!!! I've also been to see a naturopath and she got us both on probiotics and asked me to cut out gluten as well (one of LO's symptoms was/is congestion and the MSPI didn't fully erradicate that). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-207342 Sat, 30 Jun 2012 11:21:02 +0000 brownie 207342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BeachMama: Cut out ALL dairy (casien and whey) and ALL soy. Give it 2 weeks. If it is better, you found one of the issues. If it isn't, you get the milk and soy. </p> <p>It made a world of difference to my little boy. I hated him until we fixed him and now he is fantastic. I wish I could post a video. I have one of him before we did that and it is heart wrenching. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-207319 Sat, 30 Jun 2012 10:24:26 +0000 meredithNYC 207319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh my God, are you me?! This is exactly how I felt for the first three and a half weeks. Crying all day long, telling my husband and mom I wished I had never decided to have a baby, mourning my old life and feeling a total disconnect from my daughter. I would look at her like, well, there's a baby- with no feeling about her being MY baby. It was awful. And when she cried, I just felt scared/overwhelmed. My instinct was not to comfort her, but to leave her crying and run away. Seriously, it was so bad.</p> <p>Things that helped:<br /> Calling up friends with kids (most of whom are in my hometown as my New York friends don't have kids yet) and asking them to talk me down from the ledge. They were all SO great about. Same with family members.</p> <p>Having friends come over and sit with me to preserve sanity. I warned them there would be a lot of boob flashing due to the demands of breastfeeding, but promised to order in dinner for them :)</p> <p>Talking to my OBGYN. They prescribed me an anti-depressant and I had it filled, but I have not taken any yet because miraculously, around 3.5 weeks the fog kind of lifted. Yes, bebe is still demanding and often times challenging, but I know what to expect more and she and I are getting used to each other finally.</p> <p>And about breastfeeding... I am with you in that I don't love it. My original goal was 6 months, but 5 weeks in I'm thinking more like 3 months? I have had to supplement from the beginning due to low supply and it's just been really tough. I would just say, recognize the fine line between giving up too early and making yourself stick with it just for the sake of doing it. Because I think it can be hard to distinguish sometimes and I see a lot of women (myself included) beat themselves up over either not succeeding 100% at it or going the formula route. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-207306 Sat, 30 Jun 2012 10:03:07 +0000 regberadaisy 207306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BeachMama: my LO screams SO loud I totally thought all my neighbors would call child services on us! Talked to a neighbor the other day and she commented on how good LO is that she doesn't cry that much. I said really? She cries a lot but she never hears her.<br /> Anything that's remotely gassy I cut. Caffeine, corn (I love corn and it's the season too:( ), onions, cabbage, soy/tofu, broccoli, cauliflower, citrus etc etc<br /> I've been doing pretty good with cutting the obvious dairy such milk, cheese,, etc. And also obvious soy items. We had pizza the other night and I picked off all the cheese :( Just wasn't the same! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-207227 Sat, 30 Jun 2012 07:43:31 +0000 brownie 207227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, my son screamed (he didn't cry) for over 12 hour every day. Holding or not holding. So, all I could do is hold him and cry with him. It was terrible. I hated it and also contemplated going to work early. But I hated work more. </p> <p>Even now, I look forward to when he goes to daycare. I love him and he loves me. He doesn't scream much anymore. Breastfeeding is a ton easier.</p> <p>His problem was a dairy and soy intollerance. We found happiest baby on the block to be a god send and the only way to calm him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-207206 Sat, 30 Jun 2012 02:23:56 +0000 BeachMama 207206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone for all the kind words. LO is typically pretty fussy but today has been particularly bad. Not sure if she's going through a growth spurt or what, but she was inconsolable all day. Doesn't help that we are also moving this weekend. </p> <p>I've been using the Boba wrap and Ergo carrier, since it usually is one sure-fire way to calm her and get her to sleep. But sometimes I need to do things without her attached to me so that can get frustrating. My mom helps when she can, but she's not in very good shape so it's hard for her to rock and bounce her. And I usually just feel bad making someone else take care of a screaming baby.</p> <p>@woodentulip - you're right, I should just let her cry while I shower. I just feel so bad and she cries so hard I feel like she's gonna hurt herself. Plus I'm self conscious of all my neighbors hearing her. I just need to get over it though.</p> <p>@Prettylizy - thanks for the tip about putting breastmilk on the paci - I never thought of that. Sometimes she'll take it but other times she looks at me like I'm crazy.</p> <p>@regberadaisy - what kinds of gassy foods did you cut? and did you cut out ALL dairy? I've been trying to stay away from dairy but I'm not super strict about it. I'm wondering if part of the reason today was so bad is the pizza I ate last night.</p> <p>@Mrs. Jacks - I'm definitely looking into some baby classes or support groups in my area. </p> <p>Thanks again everyone. Your suggestions and support really help! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-207107 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 20:22:14 +0000 skibobrown 207107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like you would really benefit from some respite care. Can you get a postpartum doula, part-time nanny / babysitter, or a baby nurse? Your baby sounds like a tough cookie, so it's totally ok to ask for some help. I know lots of us feel like we're only good moms if we take care of our babies all day long without help. But really you'll be a better mom and a happier person if you can schedule some time for yourself away from your challenging baby each day. </p> <p>Also, if you think you possibly have postpartum depression, then please talk with your doctor sooner rather than later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-207039 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 19:25:27 +0000 plaidpants 207039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt exactly like you. I remember calling my husband when my LO was around 4 weeks and I told him I was going back to work at 6 weeks, not 8 or 12. She cried all the time. People with older kids kept telling me to "treasure" those first few months and I was like, "Are you insane?" I would remind myself that you don't see any college kids being carried to class by their moms, while screaming, so I knew she had to grow out of it sometime in the next 18 years...</p> <p>But it really does get better. I definitely think baby wearing was the only thing that got me through our first couple months. I have an Ergo and I would strap her on me and we would just walk and walk and walk. </p> <p>You are a good mom and you will get through this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-206988 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 18:57:31 +0000 mrs. wagon 206988@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know exactly how you feel. One morning it was so bad, I made Wagon Sr. take a CAB home from work. It cost $75. The worst part is that by the time he got home, Wagon Jr. was peacefully sleeping and I had calmed down. </p> <p>Be sure to ask for help if it's available, and lean on us, and know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!! What you're feeling is totally normal and common and it is really too much for anyone to bear .You are doing the best you can and you're a great momma for it!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-206896 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 17:04:27 +0000 Crisark 206896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh Honey! You are not alone! I felt like that with my first one too. My now ex was in Iraq when she was born so it was on me. My gma stayed with me for a while but she wasn't going to do it all. I would get SO frustrated because she was also very high needs. I'd sit and cry while she cried or while she refused to do anything but have me hold her even when it was in the middle of the night and all I wanted to do was sleep. I cried A LOT.<br /> I'm positive I had post postpartum but didn't get checked.<br /> My second one though I did get confirmed with PPD.<br /> Please talk to someone. Get out how you feel. There isn't anything wrong with it. And put her down long enough to step away. Even for a 10min shower. She'll fuss but it will be ok. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-206821 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 15:39:54 +0000 woodentulip 206821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadiasy yes! with my first daughter i was so worried about crying--now with number 2...well, sometimes she just has to cry. and i am ok with that, because sometimes i just need to do something else...and i am not going to feel guilty about it! it is what we all just need to do :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-206819 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 15:38:12 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 206819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Woodentulip said it so well. We had a high needs baby and babywearing saved our lives! I also found a "baby class" at a local baby store where I could get together once a week with other first time moms. I'm still very good friends with one of them! It was like I lived for those Wednesday mornings with the other moms to keep me going and the information we shared and exchanged was so valuable!</p> <p>If you are feeling really overwhelmed, put her in the crib and walk away for a little while. Babies can't harm themselves from crying and it might give you a needed 5-10 minute break.</p> <p>Also, schedule some respite for yourself. Your baby breastfeeds, so you can't leave for too long... but you can have someone come watch her while you go get a pedicure. She might even drink a bottle of pumped milk for someone else :)</p> <p>I feel for you and I bet almost every mama here can relate! Hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-206807 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 15:33:24 +0000 regberadaisy 206807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@woodentulip: totally agree on your last sentence.</p> <p>Although I felt so so guilty about it I also realized the best thing for her AND me in those moments of utter frustration is to put her down somewhere safe. And just walk away for a breather even if she is crying. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-206802 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 15:30:41 +0000 prettylizy 206802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh mama, don't despair. It's really really hard and there isn't enough info in the world to prepare you for the first month. I remeber those days, frumpy leaky mess sounds exactly how i felt! A few things that worked for our LO was a really good swaddle, she didn't take the paci at first unless I put a little breastmilk on it or dipped it in gripe water. once she started sucking bc it tasted good she would calm down. That should give you a bit of a break. You are not alone, and you came to the right place to vent. And I think talking to your doc about ppd. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-206801 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 15:29:06 +0000 woodentulip 206801@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh my my...I remember feeling like this. The first thing that I will say is that it DOES get better. She will learn to be put down, she will learn to sit up, she will learn! And until then, I have always felt like it is just a matter of getting through it. I do not believe that you need to love every moment of motherhood. There are some parts that do just really suck, but those parts are short-lived and do pass!<br /> Have you tried baby wearing? A stretchy wrap just about saved me with my first daughter. It gave me both arms back, and even though it meant that she was always attached to me, I felt like I had a little control back in my day. If you think that you can handle it, I whole heartedly suggest it!<br /> I would also say that you are so smart for bringing this up with your doctor. They will be able to help you out, and hopefully you will feel better soon. Just remember that you are not alone, that all of us mamas have had those dark days, and that it will get better! I promise!<br /> And if you need to, put your baby down. You need to have a chance to breathe. And that is ok--have a shower--she will still be there waiting for you when you get out :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-206799 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 15:24:44 +0000 regberadaisy 206799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>oh sweetie, you are NOT a horrible person!</p> <p>You have a fussy baby! Your LO sounds like mine and it is super overwhelming. There were days and nights I would just cry because nothing I do will get her to stop crying. Breastfeeding was the only thing that stopped it and I knew I should not use it because at some point I would go back to work. And I didn't want to leave my mom with no way of consoling her.</p> <p>I noticed a shift in her at around 6 weeks (growth spurt!) and she was the worst at 3 weeks as well (growth spurt!). And at that time I also started cutting dairy along with gassy foods from my diet. When I started cutting gassy foods around 3-4 weeks I saw an improvement. She was not fussy ALL The time. When I cut milk/dairy about 2 weeks ago she has vastly improved. She has brief fussy periods -like 15-20 minutes max sometimes. And every now and then we still get a fussy evening. But vastly improved.</p> <p>I firmly believe it was the gassiness and her possible allergy to milk protein that was making her so fussy and what I thought was colicky.</p> <p>Anyway my point is maybe there is a reason to her fussiness. Find it and everyone will be much happier. Or she can just very well be a very fussy baby, in that case, I'm sorry! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-overwhelmed-long-vent#post-206789 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 15:18:51 +0000 BeachMama 206789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've only been home alone with LO for only 3 hours this morning and she's cried non-stop and I already feel like I'm at my wit's end. Nothing I do, other than breastfeeding (which I have come to really dislike), will comfort her. Most days I feel like I'm just not cut out for motherhood. When she's like this, I feel like I don't even like her. I can't believe I'm posting this, but I figure what better place than an online forum where nobody really "knows" me. And hopefully I'm not the only one that feels like this.</p> <p>I've been lucky in that DH has very flexible and understanding bosses, so he's been able to take a lot of time off to help. But after next week he's going to have to start full time again and I'm so scared. I can't even handle being with her for 3 hours today.</p> <p>There are so many things that frustrate me. She's constantly crying. Shes a horrible sleeper and hardly takes naps during the day. She refuses to close her eyes and when I finally get her to sleep, she wakes up the second I put her down. She never lets me put her down, so I can't do anything. I can't shower. I can hardly brush my teeth or put on clean clothes. I can't clean the house, or take care of my dying cat. I feel like a dirty, frumpy, leaky mess.</p> <p>And I've really come to dislike breastfeeding. I hate that it's the only thing that quiets her, and most of the time she's not even feeding but just sucking on me. And I hate the way it feels. I can't leave the house for more than 2 hours because she won't take a bottle.</p> <p>She cries so much and often just seems like she's so unhappy. Sometimes I wonder why I cant have a happy, easy going baby. At this point I cant imagine going through this again to have another child. </p> <p>I know I probably need to talk to someone and plan on bringing it up to my doctor at my 6 wk visit next week. I've even thought about going back to work a month early. </p> <p>Sorry for the long vent but I needed to get this off my chest. I hope you don't think I'm a terrible person. </p>