https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 18 May 2026 22:29:55 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2251483 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 17:28:54 +0000 Torchwood 2251483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all for the responses! I took a bit to reply, but I did read every one, and it really helped. We're still not doing much on the nursing front, but progress is being made. She actually managed to latch and get the SNS in her mouth right so that she drained it today. That was a first. It was only less than an ounce (after a week with it I wasn't bothering to put much in because it's easier with only a little, and she wasn't getting any from it anyway), but now I feel like at least we know she can. She's getting her ties clipped on the 5th. I'm really nervous, because I do not want to see her hurting, but I'm really hopeful too that it will help. I plan to meet with the LC again after to get more help. Thank you for the replies encouraging me to not give up! I'll be rereading them on the bad days for sure. :) </p> <p>@twodoghouse: I have a shield, but actually the couple of times that I've gotten her to latch really well have been without it. And I can't for the life of me manage to get the SNS to work with it. I'm going to talk to the LC about it, but since she can latch without it (and it didn't hurt, surprisingly for a small baby with pretty tight ties), I'm assuming it's better to not bother? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247755 Tue, 28 Jul 2015 09:24:20 +0000 catomd00 2247755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry you're feeling upset. Breastfeeding is so hard when everything is going right! I totally understand why you're feeling upset and discourage. I would be, too. My sister is having latch issues (tongue tie) with her sleepy eater and her LC told her that she regularly helps moms and babies establish a nursing relationship at 3-4 months old who go on to nurse for 2+ years! I hope that encourages you and inspires you today! The bigger baby gets the easier it is for them to latch. You guys got this!!! You're a great mommy for giving it everything you got and then some! Hang in there, it will happen for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247714 Tue, 28 Jul 2015 08:41:50 +0000 matador84 2247714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You can do it. When I had DS, I couldn't believe the pain I was experiencing, (it felt like I was getting stabbed with knives every time he latched), but I had a friend tell me if I could just make it through like another week, it would be fine. I couldn't believe her, but I did push past the pain and I ended up nursing a year. Then I had another baby and am still nursing at 17 month. </p> <p>DS was so sleepy all the time too, which led to me just having to keep him on my boob for what seemed like 24/7 and pretty much was. Good thing is that it doesn't last forever.</p> <p>Keep the faith, you can do it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247678 Tue, 28 Jul 2015 08:19:18 +0000 snowjewelz 2247678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sending love and hugs. Those first few weeks are SO, SO, SO hard :sad: I have been there! I was so stressed out, crying about it all the time, googling a million things doubt myself, doubt my own doubts, it's crazy. Do your best to hang in there! I barely kept it together but I knew I wanted to EBF and I wasn't going to give up without a fight. It was hard to believe that things get better, but IT DOES! :heart:</p> <p>I'm telling you now at 8 mo pp that I EBF for 6 mo and am now supplementing! And my DD had tongue tie too, where as I had/have flat nipples, used nipple shield for 6 months, don't have great supply, went through nursing strike, bottle strike.. My goal is to do this till 12 mo! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247665 Tue, 28 Jul 2015 08:05:49 +0000 twodoghouse 2247665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you thought about using a nipple shield? Full disclosure: I wish we hadn't done the nipple shield for the first 10 weeks and things got so much better once we got rid of it. BUT, my twins were small (4 lb 15 oz and 5 lb 15 oz) and sleepy/lazy latchers and it really helped speed things up when we'd start nursing instead of messing around perfecting the latch. It was just much easier for their tiny mouths. I know your LO was early but not sure how small she is. In the end, kicking the nipple shield habit was better for my supply, but I do think it helped keep them from getting frustrated in the early days. Good luck, mama. You're really doing a great job! Also, much love to you on R's birthday. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247664 Tue, 28 Jul 2015 08:05:38 +0000 Annette 2247664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry you are having a tough time. I had similar issues with a sleepy eater, bad latch etc. It was really hard for about the first month and I was so distraught about it. Three things which kept me going were 1) Lactation consultants do make you feel so much better. Don't be afraid to see then as many times as you need to, I went probably 4 or 5 times before I felt like I was completely comfortable. 2) Recognize that physically your body is exhausted and pumping you with crazy hormones. Everything is amplified and the baby blues can easily make things feel so much worse. When I acknowledged that was part of it, I was able to feel more in contro of my feelings. 3) Survival mode. Just keep telling yourself you are doing the best that you can and keep trying. It will get better in time as baby gets bigger, I promise you.</p> <p>Your LO is so lucky to have a mama who is trying her best, you are doing great even I'd it doesn't feel that way right now. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247660 Tue, 28 Jul 2015 08:01:33 +0000 ElbieKay 2247660@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a solid eight weeks of painful nursing despite a tongue and lip tie laser treatment at around two weeks old. It was horrible. I have no idea why I did not quit. I was nursing (painfully) during the day and setting the alarm to pump at night while my husband slept in another room and bottle fed the baby. I wanted to throw my pump out the window. I questioned why I had even bothered to have a baby in the first place. I didn't even feel like I was bonding with my baby. I just had this irrational, completely un-researched visceral anti-formula, anti-corporation feeling, and I never got past it. (Note: I DEFINITELY do not judge people for using formula. This was just how I felt for myself and my baby.)</p> <p>Then the pain randomly stopped, and all of a sudden I could grab the baby in the middle of the night and sit calmly in the dark in the glider instead of dealing with the evil pump and equipment and labels and storage. And my husband got to sleep through the night. It was amazing, and it was so much calmer and therefore easier to fall back asleep.</p> <p>After that I still hated pumping at work, and nursing was still a demanding 24/7 job, but it also meant no equipment/supplies and an automatic baby silencer/nap inducer. Honestly, I think it's a zero sum game. In hindsight, I still don't know if it was worth it. But I am secretly proud of myself for making it through.</p> <p>Hang in there, and it's ok to feel like it sucks (npi) because it DOES! And it's very demanding. It's a marathon, not a sprint, so you need to take the long view. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247653 Tue, 28 Jul 2015 07:53:26 +0000 Greentea 2247653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Breastfeeding was a nightmare at first. I didn't believe anyone could enjoy it. It does get better, don't worry you are doing your best! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247649 Tue, 28 Jul 2015 07:51:30 +0000 gentlelunette 2247649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Breastfeeding is one of the hardest things I've ever done. It took 10 weeks for us to get our issues sorted out. I found setting myself small benchmarks to get to helped. They were usually every 2 weeks and I would push through until that point, then have a discussion with anyone who would listen and talk through what I wanted to do next (set another 2 week bench mark, or switch to formula). What tended to happen is I would look back on the two weeks and see that there had been enough improvement that it was worth it to see what the next two weeks brought. DD is 18 weeks now and things are going really well. I'm sorry you're struggling. I can totally commiserate! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247616 Tue, 28 Jul 2015 06:16:11 +0000 Adira 2247616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Breastfeeding is sooooooooooo hard! Especially when you have a sleepy newborn and you can't get them to stay awake to nurse well. My first was jaundiced and it was soooooo hard to get him to eat because he was so sleepy. So I feel you. &lt;3 It DOES get better, but takes time. For both my kids, it didn't get better until they went through the 6 week growth spurt and just were bigger and able to latch better. I imagine all your ties make it even harder. Just try to take it one day at a time or even one feeding at a time.</p> <p>Lots of love and thinking of R today too! &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247603 Tue, 28 Jul 2015 04:49:35 +0000 MamaCate 2247603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry to hear about another struggle for you. I will say nursing my LO1 was awful at first but once it started going well, all the tears were worth it. I can also commiserate as I am looking at a future of exclusively pumping for LO2 who can't latch and I am so sad about the idea of not getting to nurse him. Hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247602 Tue, 28 Jul 2015 04:47:34 +0000 Portboston 2247602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No advice, just commiseration. I feel like there are so many myths about being a mom and the one about how magical and natural breastfeeding is, is currently pissing me off. I have a lazy nurser on my hands as well. We had to be on a 2 hr feeding schedule due to his birth weight dropping too much. That schedule tore up my nipples. So I'm on a 48 hr nipple rest and only pumping. Its so tough going through all these things and feeling like we aren't doing enough for our babies. I'm just trying to take it one day at a time. Sending you lots of positive vibes and hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247599 Tue, 28 Jul 2015 03:34:15 +0000 BabyMats 2247599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It gets better! I have a 30 weeker that was a sleepy lazy eaterwith a tongue tie(no lip tie) it takes time but gets better sometimes you will notice a difference by 1 day and sometimes a week. She is 4 months (8 weeks adjusted ) and she is way better. Not as good as her brother but I notice she is gaining without having to have a bottle of pumped breastmilk every feed. It is frustrating but keep at it. I dont know how old your lo is now but thats my experience so far. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247594 Tue, 28 Jul 2015 03:04:16 +0000 turquoisemama 2247594@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is easy to feel discouraged with something that we're led to believe is supposed to be so easy and natural. I know what it feels like to expect to love breastfeeding and look forward to it just to have a reality check that it can be one of the truly stressful parts of those first few months. Hang in there if you can, it will get easier. All you can do is the best you can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247580 Tue, 28 Jul 2015 00:30:05 +0000 macintosh 2247580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry! It took me a long time to get over not being able to EBF due to low supply. Hopefully you won't have that issue. </p> <p>Nursing will get easier. You will get the ties taken care of (do that asap cause it can cause bad latch habits). Your baby will eventually not fall asleep while nursing (though you may wish she would in a month!). Or maybe you'll bottle feed. Either way your baby will love it. You'll work hard and she'll grow strong.</p> <p>I currently have my 12 week old asleep on my chest. He drinks more formula than breast milk, but he still loves nursing. The guilt and stress eases up eventually. I'm doing the best I can, and you will too :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247572 Mon, 27 Jul 2015 23:15:42 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2247572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You have been through so much! you got to give yourself and baby time. Just take it one day at at time, and have small goals. Your baby is so lucky to have a loving dedicated mama who wants to nourish her baby through breastfeeding. I feel like your dedication will bring you through this tough time and before you know it, she will crawl up to you, latch on for a quick snack, and crawl away like my baby did today. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247560 Mon, 27 Jul 2015 22:49:45 +0000 TiredmommaMD 2247560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been there. It's awful. We basically spent everyday alternating between the pedi office (for weight checks) and the lactation consultants office. In the end we were successful, but it took about 8 weeks for us to settle in. I hope the same for you. I'm rooting for you guys! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247558 Mon, 27 Jul 2015 22:47:58 +0000 AprilFool 2247558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>She's still so little and it is hard! Especially with ties. We struggled through 6 weeks of nursing with ties. LO cried, I cried but we made it through. You will have bad days but if it's really important to you, just keep persevering and it will get better. *hugs* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247556 Mon, 27 Jul 2015 22:45:48 +0000 Boopers 2247556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Breastfeeding has been the hardest thing I've done in my life. We are still having some pain at almost 4 months. I still just take it one nursing session at a time. I never wake up thinking "today is the day we stop nursing!" I do hope it gets better for you! A saw our IBCLC 6 times and the hands on time was invaluable. It sounds like you're doing a great job, keep at it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247555 Mon, 27 Jul 2015 22:45:28 +0000 Mrs.Someone 2247555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Breastfeeding sucks! Hope you both get a handle on it soon... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247552 Mon, 27 Jul 2015 22:41:01 +0000 rosegold 2247552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>beat yourself up! formula is not ok! ok no but REALLY i promise it gets better and easier and rewarding! hang in there, you're doing the best you can and so is she! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-so-discouraged#post-2247546 Mon, 27 Jul 2015 22:30:37 +0000 Torchwood 2247546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Breastfeeding still isn't going well. She has tongue and lip ties (hoping to get those fixed asap), and still is just a super sleepy eater. She falls asleep at the bottle, so she really doesn't stay awake for the boob, if she even manages to latch well enough. And she gets frustrated with it. I met with an IBCLC, and she was awesome and I came away feeling really hopeful, but today it just seems like it will never happen. She said with everything she's having us do, it will probably be 4-6 weeks before we really get it going well, so I know I shouldn't be feeling down about it after 4 days, but it's hard. I may also be deflecting and focusing on being upset about this, because today would have been R's first birthday and I haven't given that a lot of time today. I don't know, just needing some encouragement I guess.</p> <p>(And please don't tell me not to beat myself up, etc, and that it's okay if we have to do formula or EP. I know it's not my fault, and I'm not blaming myself. But I will be devastated if I wind up unable to nurse my only child.) </p>