https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 01 Jul 2026 03:53:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1178516 Mon, 28 Oct 2013 10:11:21 +0000 MsLipGloss 1178516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: Fwiw, I am over 35 (and an attorney), and *still* feel totally unsexy some days . . . I go there in my head plenty! I try not to stay there too long, however, because I don't need that--along with time and gravity--marching across mah face too! My SO is a couple years younger, so I also feel/understand the pressure to stay *young* . . . Some days I feel like an old tired mama, and some days I still feel like the geeky junior high outsider with no friends. Ahhh yes, insecurities . . . we're all vulnerable! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1177394 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 17:40:30 +0000 MsMamaBear 1177394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You have a husband who doesn't make you feel worse, he seems pretty great! Maybe you could do some things you used to do to make yourself perk up? Get dressed up and do date night.</p> <p>I'm 32 so I completely understand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1177312 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 16:07:06 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1177312@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: you are sweet! It does help to feel like I excel at something, and I know Mr. Jacks digs my career, so that's a timeless attraction... But I'm still prone to all those regular girl insecurities, I guess :). Sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm like, "really? That's where I'm at now?". I will be honest and say that I'm used to being a natural beauty. Now I just always look like tired me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1177296 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 15:50:29 +0000 lizzywiz 1177296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: this is completely off topic, but what I thought when I read your comment was, "Yeah ,but she's a doctor!" Like, of course your husband thinks you're smart and sexy, you're a DOCTOR. Lol. Sometimes the weird ideas and stereotypes I have in my head surprise me!<br /> Of course I know logically that you are a regular person, too, but I guess I have preconceived notions about women who have prestigious careers (doctors, lawyers, CEO, etc).<br /> This is made even goofier by the fact that I am a 'professional' woman and I have female friends who are doctors, business owners and high ranking military officers, and STILL my knee jerk thought was that we couldn't possibly have the problems. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1175907 Sat, 26 Oct 2013 10:09:34 +0000 lizzywiz 1175907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: I agree- I definitely don't want to be any age other than what I am and for sure not my 20's!<br /> @shinymama: "I'm a pretty darn good version of myself." love it!<br /> @MsLipGloss: "But really, it's all in your head." I know, that's what makes it so frustrating- I'm doing this to myself. </p> <p>I have never had big problems with self image based on looks or age and that is why this recent feeling knocks me on my ass. I am definitely going to nip it in the bud.</p> <p>I think it is awesome that some of you have never gone to this place in your head but at the same time I am super glad some of you have :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1175305 Fri, 25 Oct 2013 17:32:56 +0000 IRunForFun 1175305@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@shinymama: Haha I'm sorry but the lady from Love It or List It thing has me cracking up! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1175254 Fri, 25 Oct 2013 16:47:43 +0000 runsyellowlites 1175254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: :heart:</p> <p>DH &amp; I definitely talk about more "older" women celebrities than younger.... most of the younger talk is not all that great in light. Then again he has an obvious bias to those older than younger. Not quite as much a gap as @Mrs. Jacks: but it's still there. tehe. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1175239 Fri, 25 Oct 2013 16:40:15 +0000 shinymama 1175239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm 3 years older than DH, and 35+ and I sometimes have those feelings too. Especially when I reminisce through old pictures. :sad: I think it's fairly normal to look back at your younger self and mourn a little, but it doesn't take anything away from you now. I try not to compare myself to others because I know that I'll never win, so instead I admit that while I'm no longer a 20-something, I'm a pretty darn good version of myself.</p> <p>For what it's worth, DH has what I call an "old lady" list. {Meredith Vierra, Lisa from the BH Housewives, the lady from Love It or List It} </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1175182 Fri, 25 Oct 2013 16:14:17 +0000 looch 1175182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha, another old crone joining in. I actually have less white hair than my 3 years younger than me husband! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1174840 Fri, 25 Oct 2013 13:29:34 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1174840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband is 11 years younger than me, and I know I'm his type, but I still feel bad that my body is somehow letting him down. I've lost 10 lbs which has helped but here is still no getting around the fact that I'm way older than him ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1174757 Fri, 25 Oct 2013 12:57:52 +0000 MsLipGloss 1174757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: What men prefer are confident women who know what they want . . . and who know their way around a bedroom. Seriously. And you are your own worst critic! I have been hit on more in my 30s than I ever was in my 20s . . . There are plenty of older women who put younger women to shame! I would not go back to my twenties for anything . . . unless it was to meet DH sooner and to have LO sooner! </p> <p>But really, it's all in your head. The more you think he's doing something, the more you will find him doing that thing . . . it's like when you notice a leaky faucet all you can hear is the sound of the drips (the technical term is observational selection bias . . . it really is a thing!). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1174624 Fri, 25 Oct 2013 11:50:57 +0000 lizzywiz 1174624@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: That is how I WANT to be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1174618 Fri, 25 Oct 2013 11:49:59 +0000 runsyellowlites 1174618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: We'll have to see once she gets there.. right now she's loved her 40's. I think she's determined to have each season just be better &amp; better. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1174610 Fri, 25 Oct 2013 11:48:21 +0000 mamimami 1174610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel you. After having two kids and also turning 35 I have lost the weight but I feel like things will never be the same. I feel like people don't notice me like they used to. Becoming invisible.... Even when I make an effort I am still not feeling like I used to in anyone's eyes including my own! Oh well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1174609 Fri, 25 Oct 2013 11:48:18 +0000 lizzywiz 1174609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: I have read things that say if people could choose an age to re-live it was 50. It's inspiring. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1174604 Fri, 25 Oct 2013 11:46:46 +0000 runsyellowlites 1174604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: Awww.. I don't have alot of advice b/c I feel I'm still on the young side of older (not quite 30 yet), but I do think about it sometimes. DH is 5 years *younger* so just thinking about how old/young he is makes me feel old! Gah!</p> <p>Maybe I'll start focusing more on me &amp; maybe lose the rest of this lingering baby weight from G (yea I'll never see my pre-G jeans, but I can get closer right?) lol</p> <p>Sounds like your DH is a great guy &amp; that you'll find your groove in feeling sexy again. My mom is almost 50 &amp; she now feels WAY more attractive, sexy, and happier with herself than when she was in her 30's. She's lovin' it!</p> <p>@Vegmama: That IS hilarious! lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1174603 Fri, 25 Oct 2013 11:46:43 +0000 lizzywiz 1174603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bookish: oooh, college campuses are like poison to me in my current funk!<br /> @Vegmama: ROFL! Freakin' hilarious! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1174562 Fri, 25 Oct 2013 11:27:55 +0000 Vegmama 1174562@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: Haha ... A college kid leaned from his car a few months back, and yelled: "I like your dress!" ... I was SOOO proud of myself, haha. BUT, when I turned to say thank you, he was taking a huge rip from a bong ... in his car ... at 10:00 in the morning. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1174545 Fri, 25 Oct 2013 11:21:59 +0000 Bookish 1174545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: I've been feeling like this and I'm only 26. Having a baby, and all the responsibilities that come along with it, has really sent me into a spiral of 'holy cow, I'm old, I have a baby, I'm no longer sexy at. all.' I know it's not true, and I know I don't look older yet, but man... I feel so frumpy and non-sexy. My body doesn't look or feel the way it used to, and I have a really hard time responding to DH (who, like yours, is a lovely guy who does still want me) because I feel like it's a joke 'what, you want *this* body? You're kidding, right?' </p> <p>Blah. I wish more people talked about it! I work on a college campus and the cute, perky co-eds make me want to bang my head against the wall :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1174538 Fri, 25 Oct 2013 11:19:23 +0000 lizzywiz 1174538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Vegmama: " Aging is such a weird path to walk (because we've never been through it before)."<br /> What an excellent way to say it :heart: .<br /> "I find younger guys really obnoxious &amp; unattractive ... what is that makes men that find younger women attractive? So weird, right?" I normally feel the same way but a group of older high school jock-y types recently catcalled me and I was faaaar too pleased with myself. I tell you, this aging thing is messing with my head! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1174530 Fri, 25 Oct 2013 11:15:31 +0000 Vegmama 1174530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is totally normal, and should be talked about!! This past year, so much has changed for us, but I was going through a bit of this as well. I'm pregnant now, but before getting pregnant, I was feeling "blah" ... I started Couch to 5K (for myself), and after losing 15 pounds, I was feeling really good about myself. My husband was just as supportive as ever, but I think he really liked the fact I was doing something that made me happy &amp; more energetic. I wanted to show off my hard work!!! :) We also started doing date night once a week. It was an intentional amount of time to spend together, and we both feel pretty special when we go out. It's an excuse to be lovey, dress nicely, and when you get home, you have a good excuse for sex! ;) </p> <p>Overall, it sounds like you're married to a pretty fantastic guy! Finding something to do for YOU might make you feel a bit better, but yeah, aging is such a weird path to walk (because we've never been through it before). </p> <p>Related: I find younger guys really obnoxious &amp; unattractive ... what is that makes men that find younger women attractive? So weird, right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/felling-older-and-um-less-sexy#post-1174506 Fri, 25 Oct 2013 11:02:18 +0000 lizzywiz 1174506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Feeling this way shocks the hell outta me. I have never hung my hat on looks, not have my looks dictated my libido. But, 35 years into life, 13 years into marriage and 18 months into motherhood I am suddenly feeling old and, I hate myself a little for even writing this, ‘dried up.’<br /> The extra sucky thing is I mostly feel this way around my husband. He is not an ass- he does not make insensitive comments about other women’s hotness, or anything thing like that. He still comes on to me and says nice things. But we both joke around, we both comment on cute people on TV and we both know each other well enough to know when something/one catches the other’s eye. After 16 years together I know what strikes his fancy and lately I have been noticing while I get older, his ‘fancy’ has remained firmly in the 30 and under crowd.<br /> For example, the movie stars he used to think were cute were in my age range: Alicia Silverstone, Claire Danes, Jessica Alba etc. Now he could care less about them and it is Blake Lively, Scarlett Johansson, Leighton Meester, etc. When we drive by the college women’s track team with their running briefs and pony tails and wrinkle free complexions I actually feel a kind of misguided rage. WTH? Beautiful, young, athletic women are my new enemy #1? Crazy, I tell you.<br /> I don’t know if it is turning 35 or having a baby or what, but feeling like this SUCKS. There are no options to getting older and I personally believe that it is a very rare man who sexually prefers an older woman vs. a younger woman. Doesn’t mean my husband doesn’t love me, desire me or plan to remain happily monogamous, so I had better find some way of dealing with these feelings.<br /> Does this make sense to anyone else out there?<br /> PS- I have also noticed that this seems like a taboo topic among my friends. Like we aren’t supposed to admit that no amount of Pilates will turn back the clock or maybe we aren’t supposed to care and instead run happily towards our crone-hood ceremony. Blerg. </p>