https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 12 Jun 2026 17:05:10 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2380330 Mon, 07 Dec 2015 12:50:05 +0000 MrsSRS 2380330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't do middle of the nights this way with DS, but it took him weeks to learn to fall asleep without crying. Ok, I know you don't want to hear that, but here is the good news: now he goes to bed cheerfully, he loves his bed, sometimes he asks for nap when he's tired. And if htruly needs us in the middle of the night he does call for us, so it's not like he's been trained to just go be quiet in his bed all night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2380256 Mon, 07 Dec 2015 12:21:36 +0000 LindsayInNY 2380256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSRS: Thanks... Certainly didn't feel like it when DD woke up hoarse and raspy this morning :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2380192 Mon, 07 Dec 2015 11:50:13 +0000 MrsSRS 2380192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: Yeah, it's hard. I have one who needed me to not give in ever ever ever and one who is more go with the flow and won't cry forever because of being fed once one night. Little stinkers. You're doing a great job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2380086 Mon, 07 Dec 2015 10:49:57 +0000 LindsayInNY 2380086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: She was just having one a night most nights. Sometimes none. If we were traveling or something, it could've been more, but again this was more me feeding her to get her back to sleep and not necessity really. But you have a point with work... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2380075 Mon, 07 Dec 2015 10:45:43 +0000 Mamaof2 2380075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: ditto - sleep training for us wasn't to eliminate 100% but to get it down to 1-2 - DS was waking every 2 hours so only waking 1-2 times was heaven to me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2380069 Mon, 07 Dec 2015 10:43:10 +0000 kiddosc 2380069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's probably really difficult for her to go from 2-3 nursing sessions overnight to none with just the flip of a switch. I believe the book talks about eliminating sessions more slowly and pushing them back and/or reducing feeding time rather than just cutting cold turkey. Since she started needing night feedings once you went back to work, it may be that she's not getting enough during the day and actually needs them. </p> <p>For us, sleep training helped to reduce the number of night wakings to 1 or 2. But we were never able to eliminate them completely until he dropped them on his own just before he turned one. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2380043 Mon, 07 Dec 2015 10:30:43 +0000 LindsayInNY 2380043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: She didn't use to nurse overnight. I only started it when she started waking up because it was the easiest way to get her back to sleep. So now I feel like I've made it a habit and that she doesn't really *need* it? But I don't know. If only she could talk and tell me ;)</p> <p>@MrsSRS: I went back to the book to see if there was any mention of a time limit... I just feel like if I give in, she'll know and expect it. I think it's going to be a rough week. I'm going to give it that long and if it doesn't get better, maybe now isn't the right time...</p> <p>@rpparker: I may have cried along with her at one point - from the couch of course. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2380025 Mon, 07 Dec 2015 10:17:37 +0000 rpparker 2380025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: I'm so sorry ya'll had a bad night! We have had to CIO for naps but not for night (yet!) so no suggestions but you have my sympathy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2379838 Mon, 07 Dec 2015 07:28:22 +0000 MrsSRS 2379838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My time limit was an hour. I figured if he kept it up that long he probably needed a snack. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2379827 Mon, 07 Dec 2015 06:32:28 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2379827@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: I'm so sorry. My guy is doing good STTN (we have weaned though but give milk if he wakes). Saturday night was the same up from like 3 am -4:30 am. Just couldn't stay asleep. Even after letting him cry he just needed more milk and as soon as he took more ounces he fell asleep for another two hours until morning and woke up starving in the morning. Looking back we were outside Saturday (works up an appetite) he had a big poop after dinner and therefore hadn't ate much dinner. So I think he really just was hungry that night even though we tried to hold him off. Usually him falling asleep but waking right back up is a sign for us he's hungry. But you kinda just have to know your kid. Having DH try to get her back down first is a great idea. If he can't do it within XX amount of time then maybe you try or feed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2379816 Mon, 07 Dec 2015 05:19:36 +0000 LindsayInNY 2379816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSRS: How do I know though? I don't want to just rescue her with a boob and continue that habit. I also don't know how long she was sitting in a poopy diaper. 😐 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2379796 Mon, 07 Dec 2015 03:05:54 +0000 MrsSRS 2379796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It does get better, but it's not always a linear process. If she's been restless that long she might be truly hungry tonight. Maybe she ate less or was more active yesterday? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2379794 Mon, 07 Dec 2015 02:43:56 +0000 LindsayInNY 2379794@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh please tell me this gets better... Friday night DH woke up once with her and she was back to sleep in about an hour. Saturday night she slept 10 1/2 hours straight without even waking up! Tonight? Disaster. I've been up since 1:10 and its 2:40 now. I wake up at 5:15 for work... She'll fall asleep and then wake up again. I got a 20 minute stretch from her just as I went back to bed. Just changed a poopy diaper so I'm hoping that'll help... I need to get back to bed. I've been up so long my stomachs growling. She's hoarse from crying. Please tell me this will get better... It's taking all I have to not go in and just nurse her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2374726 Tue, 01 Dec 2015 17:51:50 +0000 LindsayInNY 2374726@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: Sometimes she does initially but not like she would after sleeping all night. She starts off and then fades relatively quickly. It's sometimes hard for me to pay too much attention too since I'm tired... I try not to feed if the wake ups are less than 3 hours. But, to be honest, boob is often easiest way to get her back down which is why I resort to it - whether needed or not. And hence why we're in this position now ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2374722 Tue, 01 Dec 2015 17:45:20 +0000 Corduroy 2374722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: Does she really eat with enthusiasm when you feed her? Are the wakeups spaced apart to where she might be hungry (&gt;3 hours?)</p> <p>We did CIO for falling asleep at 4 months for both kids and it worked well. DS is almost 6 months and has totally regressed due to teething and an ear infection but we're looking forward to doing it again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2374544 Tue, 01 Dec 2015 15:26:07 +0000 LindsayInNY 2374544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: Agreed... I wish I knew whether she's truly hungry or not? Is there any way of knowing? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2374465 Tue, 01 Dec 2015 14:33:09 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2374465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: Yea, I was just trying to say that I get that she may not HAVE to but you never know that her needs may have changed. She may be going through a growth spurt. Or developmental change. Or changes from now being in daycare. I just think its hard to say just because they did it before that they may not NEED to do to it now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2374460 Tue, 01 Dec 2015 14:28:23 +0000 PawPrints 2374460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: That is exactly what I had been doing (except she was in the co-sleeper not the crib at that point, so it was even harder to resist just hauling her up next to me and nursing every time she made a sound). It was a very deliberate decision to have DH take the lead for a while so we could see if she really needed to eat. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2374445 Tue, 01 Dec 2015 14:14:07 +0000 LindsayInNY 2374445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sapphire: She naps in her crib at daycare without any issues so I know it's possible!</p> <p>@T.H.O.U.: May want to eat overnight? I know she doesn't NEED to per se though because she didn't use to. I think I just use it as a crutch.</p> <p>@jape14: All she does is roll now! We went from Halo Sleepsack swaddle to the Merlin suit. She hasn't rolled in that though. We tried letting her sleep as in without anything over the weekend and she didn't sleep any better... Wishful thinking... </p> <p>@PawPrints: My problem is that I almost automatically go in and feed her. So as much as DH won't want to take the lead here, I think he'll need to. We either need to let her fuss in the middle of the night OR he needs to go in to settle her. I can't keep automatically feeding just to get her back down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2374408 Tue, 01 Dec 2015 13:51:35 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 2374408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We used it mostly to teach her to fall asleep on her own, around 4-5months I believe. Progressively longer checks and it took about 7-8 days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2374403 Tue, 01 Dec 2015 13:49:06 +0000 PawPrints 2374403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: It can be tricky to gauge whether LO needs MOTN feedings or just wants them. What worked for us was when we transitioned to the crib, sleep/nap trained, and transitioned from miracle blanket to Merlin suit (did this all at once), every time she woke up at night DH would go in there and replace her pacifier and pat her and then leave and wait a few minutes to see if she would self-soothe. Every time, she fussed quietly for a minute and then went back to sleep. So we concluded she wasn't really in need of those feedings and stopped going into the room when she woke. That has worked well ever since, and now we don't turn the monitor on at night so we only hear her if she's really upset and in need of us. (So we aren't waking at every little peep). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2374340 Tue, 01 Dec 2015 12:45:43 +0000 jape14 2374340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: Ferber for falling asleep truly worked for sleep associations for my DS. I think waiting to put her in the Merlin suit until after nursing would definitely help. Also, if she's at all close to rolling you may want to wean from the Merlin suit at the same time (we did this when we Ferbered and went to a sleep sack). The other thing we did is to try to replace the old sleep associations (i.e., feeding and being held) with new sleep cues (same bedtime song every night and nap, white noise, and a lovey). I can't comment too much on the STTN issue bc DS kept one MOTN feeding until about 7.5 months. To eliminate that, we really worked on upping his intake throughout the day and that took us a while bc he had reflux - he basically didn't STTN/drop that last night feeding until his reflux was improved. In my experience, once the going to sleep problem is solved, the random night wakings resolve pretty closely after, and then it's a lot easier to tell whether MOTN feedings are due to actual hunger. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2374303 Tue, 01 Dec 2015 12:18:49 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2374303@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: She may want to though now that you are back to work. </p> <p>We couldn't do checks and didn't want to do elimination. We just let them fuss/cry for a bit and then went in and rocked them to sleep. It was enough to get him to realize it was bedtime and then he would calmly fall asleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2374301 Tue, 01 Dec 2015 12:13:37 +0000 sapphire 2374301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: we waited until 5.5 months because she was doing pretty well until about 5 months. We did Ferber with checks at 3,5,7 minutes. Never had to go longer than that and it only took a couple nights. We did bedtime and naps in crib at the same time which I think was helpful - she learned quickly that it was time to sleep if she was in her crib. Previously we could t get her to nap in the crib. Nighttime sleep training was definitely easier than the naps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2374276 Tue, 01 Dec 2015 11:58:17 +0000 LindsayInNY 2374276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jape14: I've been reading the book... I think the biggest issues for me are Chapters 4 and 6 - with sleep associations and nighttime feedings. I would like DD to be STTN. She was doing it from 6-12ish weeks so I know she can and doesn't necessarily need to be eating. But I don't know if she NEEDS to eat overnight or just WANTS to? I do nurse before bed so maybe I wait to put her in the Merlin suit until afterwards?</p> <p>@ChiCalGoBee: DD is on a similar sleep schedule - down by 8:30 most nights and up at 6:30. I just can't get her to bed any earlier, we're not home in time. :/</p> <p>@PawPrints: Thanks, I'll check that out! DD is just over 5 months now. I really want to stop the middle of the night feeds which only started to get her back to sleep... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2373857 Tue, 01 Dec 2015 01:05:34 +0000 PawPrints 2373857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I suggest checking this post: <a href="http://www.hellobee.com/2012/03/23/when-to-sleep-train/" rel="nofollow">http://www.hellobee.com/2012/03/23/when-to-sleep-train/</a></p> <p>Highlight:<br /> These are their recommended ages for good and not so good times to sleep train:</p> <p>0 to 2.5 months – not so good<br /> 2.5 to 4 months – good<br /> 4 to 5.5 months – not so good<br /> 5.5 to 7.5 months – *ideal*<br /> 8 to11 months – really not so good<br /> 12 to 16 months – good<br /> 17 to 21 months – not so good<br /> 22 to 27 months – good<br /> 28 months to 3 years – not so good<br /> 3 to 3.5 years – good<br /> 3.5 to 4 years – not so good</p> <p>We Ferbered at 4.5 months and it was life-changing and totally necessary because we were spending tons of time bouncing her every time we put her down for a nap or bedtime and it was exhausting. But, it wasn't the best time for her. She got it, but she relapsed several times until she was about 5.5 months. That was extra hard, having to hear her cry again after forcing through those first few CIO nights. After about 5.5 months though she has consistently let us just dump her in the crib (after the routine of course) and she puts herself to sleep. It's wonderful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2373826 Mon, 30 Nov 2015 23:51:05 +0000 BabyTsMom 2373826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did a modified Ferber at around 4 months for going to bed only, and it worked great. It was modified b/c we stretched out the check intervals since we thought the ones recommended by Ferber were too close and might piss LO off more. He cried 40 min the first night, much less the second, and very little the third.<br /> Of course, now I'm in 18 month regression hell and we've had to go extinction CIO because when we tried checking it was ugly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2373816 Mon, 30 Nov 2015 23:32:24 +0000 ChiCalGoBee 2373816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son got more upset when we'd go in, so we had to just let him CIO/self-soothe without intervention. Luckily for us he got the concept pretty quickly, and now puts himself to sleep every night. He sleeps most evenings from 8 PM-6:30/7 A.M. the next morning, which is pretty amazing for us. Unless he is sick/teething/etc. (and I feel like I can discern those cries at this point), we let him sort himself out, and he almost always can put himself back to sleep. Teaching your child how to put him or herself to sleep is so important, IMO! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2373813 Mon, 30 Nov 2015 23:26:20 +0000 SweetiePie 2373813@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Littlebit7: Same here with people being shocked that I just plop him in the crib and walk away. I've had a few babysitters, a nanny, and friends all stare at me in disbelief when I walk back out of the room in under 2 mins. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ferberprogressive-waiting-sleep-training#post-2373808 Mon, 30 Nov 2015 23:23:46 +0000 SweetiePie 2373808@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Same as @gingerbebe: &amp; @Foodnerd81: Checks just weren't going to work for us, they made him angrier. So we went full extinction. It was painful for 3 nights, but effective and he's been sleeping 12 hours every night for the past year.<br /> You'll know pretty quickly if checks will work for you or not, I think. Good luck! Sleep training is hard but very rewarding! </p>