https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 06 Apr 2026 18:33:43 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal/page/2#post-2797967 Thu, 18 Jan 2018 12:11:17 +0000 smuckers 2797967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dolphingirl: I know this is old, but I'm going through something very, very similar, and am curious as to how it worked out for you guys? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal/page/2#post-2598702 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 14:53:47 +0000 jhd 2598702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dolphingirl: I'm glad to see this update! I hope things continue to improve and that you can get all the help you need going forward. Big hugs! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal/page/2#post-2598684 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 14:46:26 +0000 youboots 2598684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dolphingirl: thanks for the update. Lots of love to you and your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal/page/2#post-2598671 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 14:33:26 +0000 Adira 2598671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dolphingirl: I'm so sorry that you've been going through this. I'm relieved that he seems to be feeling better though. Hopefully he can get in with a counselor soon if he can't do the outpatient program. So much love to you guys. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal/page/2#post-2598667 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 14:29:21 +0000 dolphingirl 2598667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So DH was released yesterday and he seems to be doing better. We both had a meeting with his therapist and social worker when he was discharged. The social worker said she asked about the outpatient program that is offered there but they feel like he wouldn't be good fit. (They said we can call the program leader to ask why it wouldn't be a good fit.) She suggested a type of therapy CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy). DH has called around to see if he can be seen... though many had a waitlist of a few months! :shocked: He is seeing a therapist today. It was scheduled a few weeks ago. </p> <p>Last night was good. This morning, I asked him how he is feeling and he said good. I have all his meds under lock and key and give it to him when he needs it. </p> <p>So far things are going well. We see our marriage counselor on Friday. </p> <p>As for me, I'm feeling relieved that he is feeling better today.</p> <p> :heart: Thank you for all of your support. You really helped me when I was feeling down. I really appreciate you all responding to this thread. Thank you! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal/page/2#post-2597047 Tue, 02 Aug 2016 11:10:26 +0000 gingerbebe 2597047@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup, not your fault. Depression is a disease and illness. It's like saying you caused someone's (insert whatever physical illness they have) because you were living. My husband has terrible reflux. If he chooses to eat my spicy salsa and gets sick it's not my fault, is it? Don't blame yourself. Triage the situation - do whatever you need to keep him safe, keep you and your children as comfortable as possible, and do the next right thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal/page/2#post-2596978 Tue, 02 Aug 2016 09:47:39 +0000 magnoliamama42 2596978@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dolphingirl: Just wanted to send you some love. Like a previous poster said, what you are feeling is so so normal, but please try to not let those thoughts become circular and consume you and your actions. Feeling guilty in this situation is normal, but you ARE NOT guilty. Feeling responsible for your husband's actions is normal, but you ARE NOT responsible. Let those feelings wash over you, and then try to let them go and move forward. </p> <p>You're doing an amazing job and you are stronger than you think. Please keep us updated. Sending you many internet hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2596970 Tue, 02 Aug 2016 09:35:16 +0000 catlady 2596970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dolphingirl: Agree with others, this is NOT your fault! Healthy people do not try to kill themselves after a small argument about dishes. Is there anyone else he can stay with for awhile, so you can both take a break from each other, and so you can focus on yourself and your kids? As much as it's important for him to get better, it is also important to keep you and your kids healthy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2596840 Tue, 02 Aug 2016 06:32:57 +0000 Ajsmommy 2596840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with all PP's. This is in no way your fault. My brother went through this and he went into a longer program. He was there for weeks. I believe the hospital referred him... maybe you can inquire about a longer term treatment facility. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2596805 Tue, 02 Aug 2016 01:31:22 +0000 lamariniere 2596805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dolphingirl: to reiterate what the others have said, this is NOT your fault, you are not causing his depression or his suicidal actions. I agree with @twodoghouse: about finding a longer term intensive treatment solution. When my mother was dealing with this type of depression she was hospitalized for weeks (4-6 at a time) and made progress through different types of therapy and a close monitoring of her meds. However, I think that for some people (like my mom) there is no magic bullet. I'm not trying to be negative but for some people, depression is a disease for which there is no cure. Both the patient and the family have to put in an enormous amount of work to strive towards something that will never be perfect, but at least more positive. My thoughts are with you. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2596696 Mon, 01 Aug 2016 18:59:57 +0000 twodoghouse 2596696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dolphingirl: If long-term hospitalization is not an issue, could you ask about an intensive outpatient course of therapy? My dad just completed a 6 week intensive program. He was at the hospital every day from 9-3, I think. His day was scheduled with group sessions, individual sessions with therapists and psychiatrists, and a family session. They helped him wean off his previous and meds and get onto a new medication program. Because he was there daily, the Drs could keep close tabs on how his transitions to different meds was going, as well as his moods. Because it was outpatient he was able to go home at night, eat what he wanted in the evenings (hospital food was a huge complaint of his during his previous hospitalization), and spend time with my mom and siblings. He left with a long term treatment plan and appointments with doctors set up. I think both my mom and dad were very happy with this situation and glad that he didn't need a long term hospitalization this time, especially as that's a difficult thing to justify to insurance, apparently. He was able to take a leave of absence from work with short term disability. Wall me if you'd like any more details. I'm think of you and your family and sending love. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2596681 Mon, 01 Aug 2016 18:28:21 +0000 dolphingirl 2596681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: I don't know about longer hospitalization. I am surprised they called me earlier today to talk about discharging him on Wednesday. It feels too soon to me. I am going there and they are going to discuss with me his discharge instructions. So I guess I'll get further details. </p> <p>@Crystal: Yeah, they know. The social worker calls me when he goes into the psych ward (hospital) and asks me what happened prior to him going in. They know but I don't know what DH says to them to think he is ready to be discharged. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2596680 Mon, 01 Aug 2016 18:27:58 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2596680@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think this is your fault by any means and you are doing the responsible, caring thing to be available to him right now. That being said, I don't believe that leaving a relationship is a "failure.". And as someone who struggles with mental health issues, I'd say that if committment was impossible for me because of my issues, I'd definitely consider divorce. Also if my husband were in a situation where I could never hope to have a healthy relationship, I'd consider divorce. There are a lot of ways to support someone outside of marriage. This obviously wouldn't be a decision to make impulsively, but I wouldn't discount it entirely. I love being married but I don't see it as the ideal living situation for all people and certainly many people only realize this after they are married and realize what all is involved. Sometimes it can be difficult to manage both your own mental issues as well as the emotional needs of a partner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2596679 Mon, 01 Aug 2016 18:21:46 +0000 Crystal 2596679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dolphingirl: are you able to share his comments with the hospital? Are they having him speak with a therapist while there? They should know so they can keep him for longer. </p> <p>I am so sorry you are going through this. It is absolutely not your fault, and I hope he can get the hope he needs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2596671 Mon, 01 Aug 2016 18:05:40 +0000 Mrsbells 2596671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dolphingirl: None of this is your fault so dont feel that way at all. I have experience with dealing with a person like your husband and all I can tell you is that you cant take any of it personal although thats easier said than done. I'm not a depression expert and dont have all the answers but I know that even with medication and therapy the person has to want to feel better and has to make a conscious effort not to let the depression over take them, similar to addiction where there is some will power involved. Depression makes people focused on themselves so they dont see or appreciate the hurt and harm they are causing. I'm really sorry you are dealing with this and hope you can get him to get additional help </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2596669 Mon, 01 Aug 2016 17:57:39 +0000 GoGoSnoGirl 2596669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dolphingirl: no matter what you argue about, you are not causing him to attempt suicide. That is all on him and he needs significant help. I am not aware of what all they can &amp; do at the hospital when he goes, but I think he needs more professional help if he came out feeling the same. Sending you so much love &amp; strength right now. :crying: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2596666 Mon, 01 Aug 2016 17:53:07 +0000 MrsSCB 2596666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dolphingirl: my heart breaks for you, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Unfortunately I have experience with a suicidal family member, and when I saw your latest update I just had to comment and say it is not your fault. It is not, not, not your fault. Fighting about dishes or fighting about anything does not make him depressed or suicidal, no matter what anyone says (even your husband). Depression is an illness, it's not caused by you or anyone else. You are being amazingly supportive, but I know it is so, so hard to not feel helpless. Big hugs to you, this is such a difficult thing to go through. Is he willing to commit to longer term hospitalization? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2596663 Mon, 01 Aug 2016 17:41:19 +0000 dolphingirl 2596663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So DH was released from the hospital on Saturday. First red flag, he said he didn't feel any different from when he went in. :(</p> <p>The next day (Sunday) he tells me he tried to overdose by taking 10 of his anti-depressant/ anxiety pills. He said he was surprised to have woken up. :crying: I was in shock and almost called 911 and hung up immediately because I know the cops wouldn't do anything and that he should go right back to the hospital.</p> <p>I'm tired. I feel defeated. I feel like I caused him to try to overdose because I did argue with him about the dishes before I went to bed. </p> <p>Maybe we should try separation because clearly when he is home, if I say anything, he thinks he's worthless. Maybe he'll be happier that I'm not with him. </p> <p>I'm exhausted. I'm trying to stay strong but I keep thinking that maybe our marriage is bad. </p> <p>He's back in the hospital and scheduled to be discharged on Wednesday. </p> <p>Oh, I saw my therapist late last week. It helped but then this most recent event has made me rethink if I'm the cause. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2593178 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 19:45:35 +0000 Boopers 2593178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry!! Big hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2593174 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 19:36:33 +0000 twodoghouse 2593174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dolphingirl: I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I'm sending so much love to you, your husband, and your children. Several of DH and my family members have been hospitalized for mental health issues and it has always been for the best, although I know it's been hard on my mom and my MIL when it was happening. I hope your DH can take this as an opportunity to get the help he needs for his depression, and create a treatment plan for moving forward. ❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2593120 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 17:30:35 +0000 GoGoSnoGirl 2593120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My thoughts and prayers are with you. This sounds like an awful lot to handle all by yourself. Getting help for you both is critical, &amp; definitely do take his comments about suicidal thoughts (including deleting your children's pictures!) very seriously. I have a close family member who has battled depression most of their life, and I have lost a dear friend &amp; my best friend's brother to suicide. No one expected either of them to take their own lives, and everyone around them still wonders what we could have done differently. Do take care of yourself &amp; your children, but hopefully you can also help your husband get the care he desperately needs. You are so strong, I sincerely hope you can all find health &amp; happiness. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2593042 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 15:09:19 +0000 jhd 2593042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dolphingirl: much love to you :heart: I hope you are able to get the support you need while your DH gets the help that he needs as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2592983 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 14:09:39 +0000 catlady 2592983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. It sounds like an impossible situation. I don't know what it is about people not listening to family but instead listening to friends, but we had a family member do something similar with an eating disorder (she refused to get any help when family tried to intervene, but eventually got herself into rehab after her friends convinced her to). </p> <p>Do he have other family who can possibly help out during this time? Parents, siblings? You seem to be bearing the brunt of it.</p> <p>None of this is your fault and you are doing the right thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2592981 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 14:06:16 +0000 hummusgirl 2592981@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so, so sorry. My FIL committed suicide a few months ago. Depression is an awful thing. Big hugs to you and I hope he can get the help he needs to pull out of this. Remember that this is not in any way your fault, and you're doing everything you can to support his healing. &lt;3 &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2592973 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 13:43:21 +0000 tinyperson 2592973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry to hear this. Thinking of you! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2592971 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 13:41:45 +0000 macintosh 2592971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dolphingirl: I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I'm glad he's getting the treatment he needs. I had a family member who attempted suicide and had to be hospitalized. It's so scary :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2592954 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 13:14:33 +0000 lamariniere 2592954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I had a parent who was hospitalized multiple times for suicidal thoughts/tendencies. It is so hard, but he's in the safest place he can be right now. Sending my support your way. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2592945 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 13:07:51 +0000 Trailmix 2592945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry you are going through this. None of this is your fault, he has a chemical imbalance in his brain. Be strong but put yourself and your children first. Much strength and love to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2592943 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 13:07:06 +0000 Adira 2592943@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dolphingirl: Ugh, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope your husband gets the help he needs ASAP for the sake of himself, you, and your children. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fighting-with-dh-who-has-depression-and-might-be-suicidal#post-2592939 Tue, 26 Jul 2016 13:03:37 +0000 JenGirl 2592939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. But I'm glad to hear he's going to be getting help. None of this is your fault. Remember to take care of yourself and your kids. </p>