Hellobee Boards Topic: First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?

Hellobee Boards Topic: First few weeks--did you both get up with baby? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 16 Apr 2026 01:40:23 +0000 Maysprout on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby/page/2#post-614069 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 12:24:00 +0000 Maysprout 614069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DH didn't get up with me but he did get up earlier so he usually made breakfast and if LO woke up early (which she usually did) then he was in charge. I felt we both got the most sleep that way, I got to sleep in and he got to sleep through the night. If she did take awhile to go back asleep, which happened sometimes that first 2 weeks, then he would take over when I wanted to go back to sleep. MamaMoose on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby/page/2#post-614052 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 12:19:01 +0000 MamaMoose 614052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ For the first couple weeks nursing was a three person job. First of all we had to wake the baby up to eat. Which was quite a task in itself because she was such a snoozer (I miss those days!). Then once she was finally awake I would need to hold her head with one hand and my boob with the other hand. Hubs would then support/position the rest of her body and keep her rands out of her face. I definitely needed his help! But luckily he worked from home for over a month so I didn't have to feel guilty about him getting up with us. maybebaby on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby/page/2#post-614019 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 12:08:44 +0000 maybebaby 614019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @hellobeeboston: Great advice :) Gahhh I just can't wait!! hellobeeboston on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby/page/2#post-613991 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 12:03:12 +0000 hellobeeboston 613991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @maybebaby: you got so many great responses but I'll throw in what worked for us! DH didn't get any paternity leave & was back to work immediately because he has his own business, but he was able to make it home at lunch time to give me some free time & shower, etc. At night - i slept with the baby in a separate room so that he could sleep, this worked for us because I was feeding the baby every 2 hours, I was constantly hungry so I was making snacks & I was keeping the TV on to make sure I could stay up....Also, my husband has a really hard time falling back asleep, so with him working, and me staying home, this arrangement worked for us. But what he did was after our 8 o'clock-ish feeding he would take the baby and I would go up and get usually around 3 hours of uninterrupted glorious sleep, then at 11ish when the baby was up he would change him, wake me up, and pass off. This system was GREAT for us - I went into the night feeling really rested and still slept when the baby slept, but I was just so aware of his every breath that it was just cat naps, but after those few hours I felt like a new person! Maybe after his paternity leave something like this will work for you guys if he is worried about waking up? I understand wanting him to be there to help out but I did not think he needed to wake up with me to change diapers then pass off for feedings, at least not in those early days when it was so frequent and I was on maternity leave anyway... Once the baby is here you guys will figure out a system. We didn't plan too much in advance because we didn't know what to expect, but once he was here, we figured out something that worked for us.... It's so great having the new baby that the lack of sleep barely even matters ;) maybebaby on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby/page/2#post-613912 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 11:37:23 +0000 maybebaby 613912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I am so appreciative of everyone's answers, perspectives and advice. I think what I need to make clear to him is that it isn't just a "well if I have to get up you should too," there is the whole level of emotional support, especially early on, and the physical help that I may need in the post-partum period and to get set up to breastfeed (sounds like a lot of people wanted/needed their partner's help just to get set up to nurse, which I didn't even consider!). Someone mentioned constant communication about what is working and what isn't--that is a really good point. While we can talk about it now, once we are actually living this, we will be able to evaluate if it is a good system for us. DH gets two weeks paternity leave, so my gut feelings is that for at least those first two weeks we should share MOTN duties and phase them out once he needs more rest when he returns to work. Thanks for all the great responses! Mrs. Train on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby/page/2#post-613752 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 10:51:38 +0000 Mrs. Train 613752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ With our oldest I did the feedings alone, with my twins I needed help to get them latched then he would go back to bed. With my daughter I did it alone. To be honest my husband is not very good with little amounts of sleep. I would much rather have him rested and Useful during the day than staying up next to me for no reason during the nights. twoofeverything on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613706 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 10:39:31 +0000 twoofeverything 613706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ You bet. I was still breastfeeding/pumping at that point, so I would BF one baby while DH bottle fed the other. We eventually, (after maybe 1-2 weeks), got to the point where I would pump enough for them to both bottle feed overnight. That way, DH and I could trade off feedings. There is absolutely no way I could have done it without DH's help. There still isn't, really. He is still the one to get up for any wakings that happen after 2-3am, while I handle the anything prior to that. Like meganmp, we have had many plans for night wakings. Our system is constantly evolving as they inch closer and closer to STTN. yerpie110 on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613695 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 10:37:19 +0000 yerpie110 613695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Night duty has always been my domain, outside of the first few days we were all home together. It's partially because he's working and partially because of his sleeping habits (difficulty waking at night + can't nap during the day). He has and does help on the few occasions I've roused him though. @coacheswife123: Sometimes I totally resent the hours of continuous sleep my DH gets as well! Bluebonnet on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613678 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 10:34:09 +0000 Bluebonnet 613678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ LO is EBF. The first week or two, DH got up with me at every feeding (he would change diapers, I would nurse, one of us would get LO back to sleep). LO was a terrible sleeper, and it took a little while for me to get comfortable doing the routine by myself. After a week or two, we'd split the night. I'd take the first part of the night and keep the baby monitor by me. When LO woke up I'd change her, feed her, and put her back to bed. In the middle of the night, I'd put the baby monitor by DH. When LO woke up in the second part of the night, he'd get her up, change her, I'd nurse her, and he'd put her back to bed. This way I'd get a little bit more sleep too. Mrs Green Grass on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613649 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 10:24:24 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 613649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We do shifts since Lo takes a bottle. I stay up until 12-1. Dh does the 3-4 feeding. I do the early morning. At the moment we are actually taking lo downstairs to the nursery during th night which I don't live, but it helps the other person sleep. I would prob die if he didn't do that one feeding! I need way more sleep than he does and it's really hard to make it up during the day. I need to keep practicing! LuLu Mom on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613523 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 09:39:07 +0000 LuLu Mom 613523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Well unfortuantely DH only had a weeks paternity leave and that was the week we were in the hospital/NICU. So he was back to work when we got home. I got up during the nights alone for diaper changes/feedings/ect. unless I was having a bad night or just exhausted and he would switch off iwth me and let me sleep. (I was pumping and bottle feeding from the beginning so he wasable to do this.) He also was in charge on weekend so I could sleep in, or I could pump while he feed and changed her. pl0508 on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613499 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 09:28:40 +0000 pl0508 613499@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DH would get up if I needed him but it was and still is pretty much all me since we are BF. like others, I felt that it was kind of pointless for him to get up ! Even though I though that I totally was resentful of how much sleep he was getting !!! mrsjyw on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613446 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 09:09:22 +0000 mrsjyw 613446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ The first two weeks we were up together. Then my mom stayed with us and helped me with night duty and I also got a few nights of sleep when I started pumping. DH had random days where he'd get up, but we were both very lucky to have my mom around. The first couple of weeks though, nothing is a pattern and we were both up trying to figure out what he needed. tequiero21 on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613413 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 08:42:10 +0000 tequiero21 613413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Stayed w my mom, so nope, he didn't. My mom helped me. I had to supplement, so while I was breastfeeding the kids, shed make up the formula. Then she's the best, she would clean the bottle and at that point, sterilize them. No way my hubby would have done it. I think it's helpful to have someone help you.... Maybe your mom? But if you both are up, you will both be exhausted during the day. oliviaoblivia on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613407 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 08:35:54 +0000 oliviaoblivia 613407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ For the first week DH had to help me sit up and brought me the baby (I had a c-section). After that its been all me. LO is EBF and we don't change her in the MOTN so there really isn't anything for him to do. On the weekends he'll take her after her morning feed so I can get an extra hour or two of sleep. blackbird on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613401 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 08:31:30 +0000 blackbird 613401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We've talked about how, for the first weeks, at least, he's going to get up with me and help me. After we get the hang of things, I don't expect him to get up every single time, every night with us, but he also knows and expects that he's not going to get a solid 8 hours of sleep and/or be well rested for work. We have talked about doing shifts...I go to sleep at 7pm and he stays up with the baby until 10 or 11pm and feeds her (i want to start pumping right away) and then brings her to bed when he goes to bed. Right now, we go to bed at 9pm, and we both know it's unrealistic. He gets up for work at 4:40, so he'll be tired, for sure! We're also going to cosleep, and I don't think he'll sleep through a crying baby. He wakes up when I get up to use the bathroom! And he knows how I feel about him sleeping in another room unless he has something massively important at work going on or he's sick. It's not to be a regular occurrence because I don't think it's right. All bets are off when I go back to work. We'll have to come up with a 50/50 system. Anyways, that's the plan! mediagirl on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613399 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 08:28:14 +0000 mediagirl 613399@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Nope, like others have said, it was easier for me to do it on my own. Plus, he isn't really great on little sleep and I was running on adrenaline so, it was MUCH easier for me to get up and do everything than it was for me to ask him to help out. Now a days, he helps. When she gets up at night, we don't change her diaper but he brings her to me to eat when she wakes in the middle of the night. It's a good compromise, He gets her, I feed her and put her back in her crib. hilsy85 on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613389 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 08:19:08 +0000 hilsy85 613389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Running Elley: this! It's almost easier to just do everything myself, especially since I just have to nurse him. Once we stopped changing diapers in the MOTN, there wasn't much for DH to do...plus, LO goes right back to sleep very easily (THANK GOODNESS)--if he were tough to get to sleep, it might be a different story. I also (sometimes!) kind of like those quiet MOTN moments where it's just me and LO. Not when there have been lke 3 of them already, lol, but sometimes it's nice! GrapeCrush on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613308 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 07:00:03 +0000 GrapeCrush 613308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ for the first few weeks we both woke up with him. then we started in shifts. i'd go to bed about 9 and DH would stay with him/wake with him until 12-1am. then i was on duty until then. it worked for us. immabeetoo on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613279 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 04:48:07 +0000 immabeetoo 613279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I did all night stuff most of the time since I was up already an then on weekends he would bring him in to eat and the. Handle the rest. So two nights "off" for me and decent sleep for him during the week. Works great for us! ladyfingers on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613275 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 04:39:37 +0000 ladyfingers 613275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We've fallen into a routine now when baby wakes I wake DH (lol) and he changes the diaper and brings him to me to feed. Honestly, he pretty much stumbles through it for all of 3 minutes in his sleep then falls back asleep immediately. Whereas I have 45+ minutes of nursing and then have to deal with getting baby to fall/stay back asleep (though he's getting better at that as he grows older). The past few days though he's had few to no BMs at night so I haven't bothered waking DH and now nurse one side, quickly check his diaper, if he needs a change do it myself, then nurse the other side to sleep. I don't bother with pee changes at night as long as he's not already irritated. I have no idea how we'll do this when I return to work. I have regular hours (8-5) and will have to get up at the crack of dawn to get DS ready for daycare and me ready for the day, but DH works irregular hours, lots of nights, and is up late. But bf'ing, there's not much he can do for night feedings anyway. I guess he could deal with getting DS back to sleep once I've nursed but it seems easier just for me to do that. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. JessiBee on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613258 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 01:51:47 +0000 JessiBee 613258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I want to add that the most important for us was (is) communication. We were still both getting up every time when DH went back to work, and after the first week of that, he said to me "this isn't working. Can we try something else?" That ability to keep trying different approaches--and talk about them--has been key. tinyperson on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613252 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 01:34:57 +0000 tinyperson 613252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I was lucky that DH was home for a month. He got up with me while he was off...He would change her and help me get set up, bring me snacks and drinks, and sat with me for moral support. I really needed him with me so I didn't feel as overwhelmed or alone. I had a c section so it was great to get his help in moving around. Now, he doesn't get up. She's much more efficient, goes back down pretty easily, and I'm more experienced with the whole process. Bao on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613227 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 00:49:11 +0000 Bao 613227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DH had to get up with me because I couldn't move. It took me a few minutes just to sit up in bed, let alone get up, get LO and sit back down, then put her back in bed. It was a painful first few weeks. DH would change her diaper while I attempted up sit. Running Elley on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613226 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 00:47:27 +0000 Running Elley 613226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DH was home for the first week and we both got up then but once he went back to work after that it's just been me. I actually like just doing it myself- it seems like less of a production and goes pretty fast. pinkcupcake on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613213 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 00:13:05 +0000 pinkcupcake 613213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DH used to change Lo's diaper and bring her to me so I could BF her. If he was working early the next day, though, I'd get up and do the diaper change & feed. googly-eyes on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613195 Mon, 04 Mar 2013 23:57:03 +0000 googly-eyes 613195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ In the beginning we both got up, but DH started falling asleep mid feedings/diaper changes earlier and earlier til it was only me getting up or we took turns. LittleGBee on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613181 Mon, 04 Mar 2013 23:49:37 +0000 LittleGBee 613181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We both got up together for the first few weeks. DH would help me get settled and then depending on if the nursing session was going poorly or well he could go back to sleep or not. When I was struggling with getting her latched and SO tired it was amazingly nice to have the support. sunny on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613172 Mon, 04 Mar 2013 23:41:59 +0000 sunny 613172@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I had a C-sec so the first 2 weeks we both got up nearly every time. When I was still on my pain meds, I didn't easily wake, so my husband would change LO and then wake me to feed her. Also, I had a lot of trouble getting up from bed so DH would help me up, but I did all of the diapers and feeding alone (he would zonk out as soon as I was sitting up). After a few weeks, we didn't end up doing too many diaper changes in the middle of the night because LO didn't poop at night and she didn't seem to mind wet diapers (I think the disposable ones we used were quite absorbent). I didn't think there was any point to us both being tired. By him sleeping more at night, it meant that I could potentially sleep in, in the mornings. He could also take better care of us if he was more well rested. 78h2o on "First few weeks--did you both get up with baby?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/first-few-weeks-did-you-both-get-up-with-baby#post-613160 Mon, 04 Mar 2013 23:32:33 +0000 78h2o 613160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My husband has sleep problems so I did/do all the night feeds/changes on my own. I didn't think I'd be able to do it, but I did. If I were in your shoes, I'd ask him to get up with me sometimes for moral support, but if he's well rested, maybe that will allow you to get a nap in during the day? I changed LO in bed sometimes and stopped changing her at night when she no longer was pooping at night. No diaper rash yet.