https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Apr 2026 20:17:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/4#post-1471843 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 05:18:50 +0000 Lolo 1471843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it is matter of personal choice. Only you will know what is best for your body &amp; circumstances. I am currently living in the Middle East where some hospitals have a reputation of pushing c section delivery onto new mums even when not medically necessary. For me the main issue is that every women should have a choice &amp; feel somewhat in control of her birth plan. It may not all work out perfectly like the plan on the day but at least having a structured plan in place helps to eliminate some fear &amp; anxiety on the lead up to the birth. L x </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/4#post-1471756 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 00:45:21 +0000 lemondrop 1471756@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, again- not my body, so I don't have say in someone else's choices. Childbirth has risks no matter how you go about it, healthy mama and baby is the only thing that matters. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/4#post-1471601 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 22:38:30 +0000 birdofafeather 1471601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>no. there are clear circumstances where it's safer for mom and baby to have a c-section. i'm all for the best outcome for mom and baby. so whatever way that would be is my vote. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/4#post-1471600 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 22:37:58 +0000 Mrs.Panda 1471600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No because I will likely have an elective section with all of my children. I have herniated discs (that I am already struggling with in early pregnancy!) and I was told long ago that I risk rupturing the discs if I labor and deliver vaginally. I'd like the option to run and walk with my babies as they grow up. For *me*, the "experience" of having a vaginal birth would actually be a selfish choice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/4#post-1471446 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 21:00:41 +0000 Adira 1471446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: haha, I just loved the way you worded your response in the last thread, so had to steal it! :D </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/4#post-1471412 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 20:47:36 +0000 hilsy85 1471412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: ha thanks for the shout out! &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/4#post-1471402 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 20:43:58 +0000 artsyfartsy 1471402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A vaginal delivery is usually best for mom and baby. If the pregnancy is uncomplicated and it's safe, I think mom should try because it's the best option. But there are lots of reasons why a c-section is safer.</p> <p>That's just my opinion. A vaginal delivery didn't work for me, but I wanted to give it a shot! But I also don't really care what mommas choose to do, as long as it's their choice and what they're comfortable with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/4#post-1471387 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 20:40:00 +0000 MsLipGloss 1471387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@brownie: Don't assume that all c-sections are more expensive than vaginal births. That just isn't true. And your insurance statement is inaccurate and misleading . . . the last thing people need is the *power* to restrict access to medical care because of what they think it will do to their insurance premiums . . . ! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471382 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 20:36:55 +0000 Silva 1471382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: I really wasn't trying to be a jerk. It sounds like you are a phenomenal doula, and your clients are lucky to have you.</p> <p>I get my bristles up about anything that verges anywhere near taking away women's rights to make choices about their bodies because I think it's a slippery slope. So I probably bristled too quickly. Sorry :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471380 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 20:35:49 +0000 Lindsay05 1471380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: @junebugmama: yeah I didnt want to chime neither but I understand what you ladies are saying. As a professional, there are numerous decisions clients make that you may personally not agree with, but if it makes them happy, then you can easily support them. Being compassionate means showing empathy and being supportive which is probably close to the definition of being a doula! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471373 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 20:30:43 +0000 Arden 1471373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: Maybe "bothered" wasn't the best word choice. I meant it more in a concerned/troubled way rather than an annoyed/judgemental way.</p> <p>@cmomma17: Thank you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471366 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 20:26:49 +0000 cmomma17 1471366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: I really don't want to chime in to this "debate" at all, but I wanted to offer some support. I understand your points and feel it makes perfect sense for a doula to care about birth. Just like most lawyers are passionate about the law, teachers are passionate about education, etc. Of course you care! I'd be very shocked if you didn't.<br /> Maybe it's because I had a doula present at my birth?<br /> I'm also surprised that many women in this thread think doctors only perform c sections when medically necessary. Very surprised actually. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471363 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 20:25:53 +0000 junebugmama 1471363@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@allison: oh my! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471353 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 20:22:20 +0000 Silva 1471353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: thanks for clarifying. As a therapist, I can certainly think of situations in which my clients have made choices that concern me, but my empathy for them and support of them doesn't change. I think I found the word "bothered" to be a bit unsettling. Like, I imagine you bahumbugging random women you've never met for choosing a c section. As a doula, I can see how this issue is more personal because it is your job to concern yourself with other women's labors/deliveries. And if someone has hired you, then yes, I understand your concern and perhaps even feeling "bothered" if they make a choice that you are uncomfortable with. But for all the rest of the women who don't hire you as their doula, it doesn't seem like it's really your place to be "bothered" by how they deliver their baby, and none of your business why they made that choice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471346 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 20:20:13 +0000 brownie 1471346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have any stake in this for 99.9999% of women I don't care what they do. There is teeny percent of women that I consider close friends/family in which this kind of issue is discussed and I do care in some way what they choose and why. But these are women in general who would share this information with me and want my opinion on the matter.</p> <p>Though, I have to play devil's advocate here. I was reading someone say that if we subsidized health care (i.e. had to pay for the added medical expenses) then they would care. I think this actually has some pertinence to this discussion. </p> <p>Ultimately, we all pay for everyone else's birth through our insurance premiums. If women are having more expensive births for convenience (i.e no medical, psychological, indications) we pay for that added expense. </p> <p>Does that make this a little bit different since it is money? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471335 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 20:15:55 +0000 HLK208 1471335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@allison: omg. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471326 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 20:13:32 +0000 junebugmama 1471326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: @Silva: I read through the thread and maybe I missed it, but I didn't see where @Arden: came across as being "unsupportive".</p> <p>As a doula myself, many of the woman that I labor with, make choices for themselves, before, during and after their births, that I would never make personally and that I don't "agree" with. I have attended 2 elective c-sections, for non-medical reasons, and I fully supported their choice. You don't have to agree in order to be caring, loving, supportive, and a great doula. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471320 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 20:12:02 +0000 allison 1471320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>An OB I know told me once that if she ethically could, she would recommend to all of her patients to have elective c-sections. Her reasoning? Because she liked the way her husband's penis fit into her vagina, and it just seemed a shame to mess that up by pushing a baby out.</p> <p>...I think that's kind of awful for an OB to say. I wasn't impressed, to say the least. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471280 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 19:59:26 +0000 MsLipGloss 1471280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: I don't know what would/could make it better. In so many ways it still feels like something that happened to me, not something that I experienced . . . if that makes sense. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471279 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 19:58:25 +0000 junebugmama 1471279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I believe that everyone should attempt to delivery vaginally if medical safe and possible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471262 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 19:54:35 +0000 Reese 1471262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree - your body = your choice</p> <p>@Arden: I am hearing you. I do think you come across as wanting the best for your clients.. regardless if their beliefs align with yours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471226 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 19:44:09 +0000 rachiecakes 1471226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, as long as mom &amp; baby are healthy, whatever it takes. </p> <p>@MsLipGloss: like you I had one of those vaginal births that 2+ years later I'm still feeling the effects of and am not sure what kind of surgery/therapy could possible make it better :/<br /> I doubt I would have these issues had I just said, "okay, let's go for the c-section" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471217 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 19:40:23 +0000 Arden 1471217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also I feel the need to clarify something: when I say "elective c-section", I am not talking about those who have medical concerns, physiological issues, psychological trauma, etc. those are all valid reasons. I would call those "planned c-sections" instead of "elective". I'm referring to those who choose it for convenience alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471191 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 19:31:21 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 1471191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. For some people, it just really doesn't make sense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471179 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 19:28:06 +0000 Arden 1471179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: @anonysquire: </p> <p>Definition of "supportive":<br /> providing encouragement or emotional help.</p> <p>synonyms: encouraging, caring, sympathetic, reassuring, understanding, concerned, helpful, kind, kindly.</p> <p>@anonysquire: You asked why I care. Caring is part of being supportive. </p> <p>Being supportive of someone does not mean I have to agree with them. It just doesn't. I can support someone's right to choose and love them without agreeing with the choice they make.</p> <p>I've never had a client who had an elective c-section (only because one has never contacted me) but I've had plenty of clients who I supported through labors where they made choices I didn't agree with. I'm still close friends with some of them. They refer other women to me telling them how encouraging I was during their labors. That's support. Not agreeing with everything they do, but loving them through it anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471145 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 19:19:16 +0000 anonysquire 1471145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: Ya I am still not getting that she is supportive either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471141 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 19:16:13 +0000 Arden 1471141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: Did you read my reply to anonysquire? I think it answers that question. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471136 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 19:14:54 +0000 LovelyPlum 1471136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyD: I love this! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471127 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 19:09:58 +0000 Silva 1471127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: Isn't the role as doula to support a woman in achieving the birth she wants? So if she doesn't want to attempt a vaginal delivery, which was the original question, wouldn't your role to be to support that decision? Because otherwise it seems like you are only truly in support of the decisions that align with your own values. </p> <p>If a woman who is well educated and informed on the risks at hand chooses a c section I think that's great. There are some great studies that show that the biggest indicator of birth satisfaction is feeling like you were involved in the decision making process. More power to her, she knows what she wants! I support that fully, and it doesn't bother me or make me sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/follow-on-thread-do-you-think-every-mom-should-try-to-deliver-vaginally/page/3#post-1471107 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 19:04:16 +0000 Sapphiresun 1471107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I voted yes, but I don't mean actually like... plan to delivery vaginally until you go into labour and "fail". If there was some medical or psychological reason that it was safer to have a C section at any point, I think that's the woman's choice to mitigate that risk. </p> <p>The "yes", I voted for is more like a couple instances I've heard that the mother just wanted to be pregnant shorter, and know when the baby was coming. That seemed to be such a strange reason to undertake a major surgery. </p>