https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Apr 2026 22:13:25 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/following-the-rules#post-2778336 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 09:17:25 +0000 shabang 2778336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a very similar situation to @Mama Bird w/ regard to flexible telecommuting rules enforced differently. Here's how it works out (or doesn't) for me - because I have young children, my boss assumes that I wouldn't be able to devote enough attention to work if working from home and I'm given a very hard time if I ask for any accommodation. Coworkers without young children are given more flexibility. This is despite excellent performance reviews, and the fact that every time I've worked remotely in the past 5 years, I've had childcare (partner, grandparent, etc.) for the kids.</p> <p>I don't have any advice, because I basically just don't ask to work remotely now. This isn't just me - there was another mom w young kids in the dept who asked for temporary accommodation (a few months working remotely) and was told it wasn't an option and ended up quitting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/following-the-rules#post-2778323 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 08:02:19 +0000 Modern Daisy 2778323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Um, YES lol. I am the only working mom in my entire office and one of only 3 women so the rules were much tighter on me since day #1. It's pretty blatant too, like once in the same week a male coworker (same tenure &amp; experience) came in 2 hours late due to a dentist appointment and was not asked to record pto hours. The next day I came in 2 hours late for taking my son to the doctor and you guessed it - I was pulled aside and asked to record 2 hours. I could go on and on. </p> <p>Like others have said though - do NOT approach the subject with your superiors from the perspective that you want something just because you saw the guy next to you getting it. Or even that you think things are imbalanced. That's irrelevant if you think about it because things will never be even for all employees even if you are in the most flexible workplace imaginable since everyone has different needs and different relationships with management. Ask yourself what you really need to thrive and WHY. Focus on how it will benefit your employer and still fall within the rules. A good manager will have no choice but to agree to your request in that scenario. In my case I had to push harder for flexibility to a point where it probably hurt my career but I really don't care because I've had enough of the glass ceiling and blatant unequal treatment in my industry which is heavily male dominated. But "pushing " for me just meant not taking no for an answer, I still didn't say anything like "well all the men get to do x so I should to!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/following-the-rules#post-2778320 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 07:19:07 +0000 looch 2778320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catomd00: I was just going to write something similar....it might look on the surface like disparate treatment, but maybe there are some other things at play.</p> <p>It could be a huge range of things, from seniority, disability, family situations, etc. IME, things are usually not what they seem to be on the surface. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/following-the-rules#post-2778162 Fri, 06 Oct 2017 22:22:21 +0000 catomd00 2778162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you have to know the why's of someone else's situation before you can even judge what's going on. For instance, I'm able to work remotely twice a week and on an as needed basis beyond that because I have a (newly) documented disability and the request was made and granted as an ada accommodation. No one else knows that except my boss/hr/occ health. I know some people probably think im getting preferential treatment, but it's not really what it seems. If you need something different outside the rules, I would ask for it through appropriate channels and lay out your case for it, rather than focus on what other people are getting that you aren't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/following-the-rules#post-2778148 Fri, 06 Oct 2017 17:14:32 +0000 Truth Bombs 2778148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unless you are being reprimanded for something that is allowed, I don't think you have a lot of ground to stand on. If the bosses are more flexible with other people, unless it's affecting your ability to do your work, that's not really anything that concerns you from the perspective of a formal complaint. In my work experience, the highest performers are given the most flexibility with "the rules". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/following-the-rules#post-2778147 Fri, 06 Oct 2017 16:56:22 +0000 Mama Bird 2778147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This sort of came up at my office recently. The "rules" for telecommuting are very open-ended and do end up being different for different people. A couple of people do it full-time because they've moved out of state and the company kept them employed, a few others have done extended stints for health or child care reasons, and others are either only able to do it rarely, or not at all, because they need to be physically present somewhere. So management basically acknowledged that yes, the rules are different, and there's a good reason some staff just can't get as much flexibility, and that we should talk to our bosses if we need flex time so we can have a good idea what's expected.</p> <p>Not sure if this is your case though, or you just have a boss who's easier on some employees than others. If it's getting into the territory of being reprimanded more for things that others get away with, or being passed over for promotion on flimsy excuses, maybe it's worth documenting the situation for a while and taking it to HR. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/following-the-rules#post-2778140 Fri, 06 Oct 2017 15:41:51 +0000 Chuckles 2778140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The school I used to teach at was like this. If you were a guy who was friendly with the assistant principal, you could get away with wandering around and chatting with co-workers instead of being with the students. It was really frustrating. I didn't care about being held to the "rules" and high standards, and I wouldn't have cared if the other people's behavior hadn't affected my work/classroom. I think the only time to say something is if it's affecting your own performance. For example, coworker A is supposed to complete part of a shared project but is never finished on time because she/he is constantly chatting with people. Then instead of complaining about the chatting, you have a more concrete concern of - he isn't completing his work by a deadline. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/following-the-rules#post-2778094 Fri, 06 Oct 2017 12:47:00 +0000 gingerbebe 2778094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Personally I would just meet the workplace requirements and try to get on my boss' good side if I could. If it's a sexist thing or some kind of prejudice thing, I'd take note of it for my personal purposes and see if others in the same demographic were being treated that way, but if it's just a personality/favoritism thing then I would try to figure out how to win my boss over. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/following-the-rules#post-2778089 Fri, 06 Oct 2017 12:43:36 +0000 bubblegum 2778089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like my job! Everyone is allotted a certain amount of days and have set work hours and people don't follow these things. I just do what I'm suppose to and when and if the time comes that I'm disciplined for not "following the rules" I would simply stated that I am within the same means as everyone else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/following-the-rules#post-2778076 Fri, 06 Oct 2017 12:23:06 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2778076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think my first step would to look in the mirror and think about "why" I may be having other expectations. Is it because I am not getting my work done as timely as others (or maybe there is this perception). Is there a quality of work issue? </p> <p>I would also maybe just ask for a follow up on what are the rules so you can be clear what are rules and what are general expectations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/following-the-rules#post-2778073 Fri, 06 Oct 2017 12:20:09 +0000 MaryM 2778073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you have to be careful when you bring this up. </p> <p>It can't be a "but she get's this!" discussion. You have to keep the focus on you, and why you need whatever you're asking for. When you start comparing treatment at work, you risk looking childish and petty. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/following-the-rules#post-2778070 Fri, 06 Oct 2017 12:17:24 +0000 SteelerGirl 2778070@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you ever had a boss who applied the workplace rules unevenly (things like what time you come in, how long your lunch is, how much time you spend chatting with coworkers or surfing the internet instead of doing work)?</p> <p>If you felt you were being held to a higher standard than your coworkers, what would you do? Since they are technically the rules, would you feel you couldn't say anything? If you complained would you worry about contempt from your coworkers because they would have to follow the rules more strictly? </p>