https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 27 Apr 2026 04:16:11 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2019759 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 07:30:24 +0000 looch 2019759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Then I'd give something. Would $100 feel like a good amount? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2019461 Sun, 11 Jan 2015 20:05:00 +0000 dolphin 2019461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would give cash. I know it adds up but I'd feel weird not giving anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2019393 Sun, 11 Jan 2015 17:53:38 +0000 Anagram 2019393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Not a family wedding. But one of DH's close friends before we moved 3 years ago. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2019384 Sun, 11 Jan 2015 17:26:05 +0000 MrsBananaGrabber 2019384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would give a very small gift (not money) as a nice gesture. You presumably know the couple and their taste well enough (since your husband is the best man) and could come up with something small (&lt;$20) that they would like. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2019379 Sun, 11 Jan 2015 17:15:52 +0000 looch 2019379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is it a family wedding? </p> <p>I feel so conflicted, no idea what I would do...actually, we'd probably still give a gift (of cash). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2019147 Sun, 11 Jan 2015 11:36:45 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2019147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No gift. But, I wouldn't go in this case- that's a lot of expenses to incur. I'd have my husband go alone.</p> <p>ETA: went back and read that not going doesn't save you much. Still no gift. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2019100 Sun, 11 Jan 2015 10:50:17 +0000 erwoo 2019100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If there was an option to not go, I would just not go and buy a really nice present. I've done that a few times while pregnant or with a newborn/young infant. Travelling while pregnant and with a LO in tow to a foreign country for only 3 days just doesn't sound worth it for me emotionally and financially. If you were to go, I'd go and send an American Express gift card. It's still "cash." I think they have dollar amounts so you can choose how much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2019023 Sun, 11 Jan 2015 08:59:49 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2019023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Um, no you don't need to give a gift. No one ever really needs to give a wedding gift - they aren't mandatory. I've gone to weddings in the country that cost us over $1,000 in expenses and we give them a card. Weddings should be about people celebrating the union &amp; love of two other people (and if the couple gets cranky about not getting sheets or something, because gift money was spent on getting the guests TO the wedding, then boo to them). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018858 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 23:09:43 +0000 Smurfette 2018858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am in a wedding in November in Mexico. We are going for 4 nights but $2K alone for the room/food. Luckily my parents are local so we will just give them $100 or so to cover anything they do with LO.</p> <p>But then we need flights, my dress, shower expense, shower gift, bachelorette gift, bachelorette party weekend, etc I am easily spending $4k. </p> <p>She told met they don't expect gifts but I can't not give a gift so it will just be half of what I would normally spend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018854 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 23:02:06 +0000 yellowbird 2018854@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope! No gift necessary. You are already going above and beyond </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018838 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 22:43:11 +0000 ShootingStar 2018838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't give a gift. I'd assume the wording means that gifts are unnecessary but if you do give something, don't have it be a registry type of gift that must be transported to the destination and back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018828 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 22:29:14 +0000 wonderstruck 2018828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, you absolutely do not need to give a gift! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018817 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 22:19:13 +0000 stiletto_mom 2018817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a destination wedding. Our best man and his entire family came. Daughter was our flower girl and son was our ring bearer.</p> <p>We said no gifts (though we had a registry in case anyone asked). They DID give us gifts which we accepted graciously.</p> <p>However, we did have other guests that came and gave no gift. We were totally fine with that. We also had people who couldn't make it. And we were fine with it.</p> <p>I hate when people take ridiculous stance saying that the couple needs to pay for their guests' stay. No, it's your vacation. I had a friend fly out the night before the wedding, stay one night, was there for the wedding and flew home and worked the next day.</p> <p>You pay for yourself. If you can't make it for budgetary reasons, it's fine.</p> <p>The couple having the destination wedding should be understanding that not everyone will be able to make it, and that gifts are not necessary. </p> <p>It's a two way street. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018685 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 20:34:27 +0000 sunny 2018685@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would probably give a gift anyway, even though it is adding up. I feel for you though -- destination weddings are so expensive to attend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018659 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 20:03:21 +0000 Tanjowen 2018659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: This may be more trouble than it's worth, but another thought that might save you money is to see if your flight will go through Atlanta, then you can take LO and drop off to your mom and pick up on the way back through... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018641 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 19:39:50 +0000 Foodnerd81 2018641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I'm sure they forgot or each spouse thought the other one did it, but Dh and I still joke snarkily about t with each other four years later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018622 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 19:30:57 +0000 Anagram 2018622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: the nerve ! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018599 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 19:07:16 +0000 Foodnerd81 2018599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I would not give a gift. That's a lot of money to spend! Especially since it's not only a holiday weekend (peak fares), but you still have to take time off since it's the least convenient weekend if the holiday. </p> <p>Fun fact- we went to a semi-destination wedding over New Years, so hotels and flights were way more expensive, gave a gift... Same couple came to our fairly local wedding and didn't give us a card. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018534 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 17:51:14 +0000 Shutterbug 2018534@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was recently in my brother's out of country wedding at an AI. We gave them cash, because he's my brother, but they only got a handful of gifts from people who attended the wedding (out of almost 200 guests). I'd say you're fine to just give a card. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018524 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 17:28:06 +0000 shopaholic 2018524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: We had and are having a similar issue. Recently, I was in an out-of-country wedding at an all-inclusive. So I totally get you on the double-occupancy thing. Thankfully we didn't have to pay for my ILs to watch LO, but it was a very very long journey both directions and the AI wasn't cheap either. All the other BMs gave cash as gifts, so I just did the same. But they did not say anything like, "no gifts."</p> <p>This year was supposed to be a similar wedding (but family member) and the location was suddenly switched from Mexico (bc of hurricane destruction) to a very hard to get to AI in Central America. Looking at the time, travel, transportation, and lodging, it's become frightening at almost $5K. We haven't decided or told my family yet, but we may just NOT be able to go. As DH said, even if we gave a huge gift (like $1K or something) - we'd be saving a lot. All this to say, IDK what the right answer is. I come from a background where not giving a gift is rude. But I also didn't expect nor receive gifts from everyone at our own destination wedding (probably 80% gave gifts). </p> <p>Lastly, if you can swing it, I'd really take 1-2 extra days for yourselves to enjoy. I kept trying to convince DH of this last time and he did regret it because outside of the wedding, we had no time to do anything unwed ding-related. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018516 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 17:12:50 +0000 lawbee11 2018516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not get a gift! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018512 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 17:05:59 +0000 Anagram 2018512@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jump Rope: we went to the DR when I was pregnant last time, and I was just shy of 7 months (went the second week of April and had LO July 12th). Oh wait, maybe that's only 6 months preggo?</p> <p>This time it's memorial weekend and I'm due Aug. 15th. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018505 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 16:56:46 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 2018505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: can you travel at 7m pregnant?</p> <p>I wasn't allowed but I was so high risk, so I'm not sure if I couldn't because I was high risk or if there's a blanket no traveling in the third tri policy. </p> <p>I was pretty big and uncomfortable for both pregnancies, though, and high risk both times, so... Im genuinely curious how an international vacation ties into your pregnancy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018504 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 16:56:39 +0000 Charm54 2018504@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: ah gotcha. I was thinking your mom was local. I say go Friday and enjoy the vacation! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018484 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 16:32:49 +0000 Anagram 2018484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Charm54: we live outside NYC and my mom lives in Georgia, but she is the one planning to come and watch LO. She's more than happy to do it, but we feel like we should pay for her flight, since we are asking her to come. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018482 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 16:32:28 +0000 regberadaisy 2018482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you're set on going I night get a small small gift. Like max $25! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018480 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 16:31:37 +0000 Anagram 2018480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jump Rope: @hotchildinthecity: @Hoots: it's at an All-inclusive, so even if DH goes alone and gets the cheapest room, it will be $1100 just for him, plus expenses for a bachelor night they are planning while there and his best man clothing, which they haven't decided yet. So I figure I'd rather make it our last hurrah before LO #2 arrives. We may go Friday night after work and make it a 4 night stay to make it more of a vaca.</p> <p>But yeah, I will be 7 months preggo as well. I don't mind leaving LO, it's just that we don't have family nearby so someone has to travel to be here for LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018478 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 16:30:46 +0000 Charm54 2018478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:shocked: that's cray cray. Id send DH alone. Or could your mom stay home with LO so you could at least get a little vacation alone with dH and not have to pay for your mom to come? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018472 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 16:22:28 +0000 hotchildinthecity 2018472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah I was going to say, can't DH go by himself? </p> <p>Besides that I wouldn't bring a gift though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-a-destination-wedding-out-of-the-country#post-2018470 Sat, 10 Jan 2015 16:22:04 +0000 Hoots 2018470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd take their word that no gifts are necessary. We had the same situation last year and didn't give a gift. </p>