https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 19 May 2026 22:36:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/4#post-2079663 Sat, 21 Feb 2015 12:14:35 +0000 Mrs.Someone 2079663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: @Mrs. High Heels: Thanks! I did just fine, but my mom had a tough time at a few points in the day. Cute baby definitely helped though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/4#post-2078571 Fri, 20 Feb 2015 13:20:00 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 2078571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.Someone: How are you feeling today? I know you want to keep your mom happy, but I hope you're taking care of yourself too. :heart: </p> <p>I don't know if the pain ever fully goes away, but I've just learned to better cope with it and make it a part of my story. His life, and his death, played a huge role in who I am today. </p> <p>Its been 14 years since my dad passed. I actually brought him up this past week and cried (I don't like talking about it too much IRL bc it's hard for me to get the words out sometimes - and I don't like getting emotional about it then making ppl feel awkward). I still choke up when I talk and think back on him. My kids are 2 and 4, and I haven't really talked about him to them yet. I think when they are old enough to ask and wonder why they don't have another grandpa, I will have that conversation with them. I will tell them what he was like as my dad, how he influenced me, and how he would've been as a grandpa. He would've been a great grandpa. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/4#post-2078546 Fri, 20 Feb 2015 12:54:57 +0000 lamariniere 2078546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.Someone: I hope your mom (and you, of course) are coping ok. It's still pretty fresh for you. </p> <p>Last week was 8 years since my mom passed. My DS coincidentally brought up the topic of death the day before the anniversary so I was kind of forced to talk about it. He already knows my mom died, but the concept is still fairly abstract to him (he's 4). The way I told my son was that he brought it up sometime when he was 3 and he asked me where my mom was since he knows he has 3 other grandparents. I had to explain it then, and we revisit the topic from time to time when he asks about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/4#post-2078543 Fri, 20 Feb 2015 12:49:31 +0000 Mrs.Someone 2078543@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just checking in here, since today marks a year since my Dad passed. On the agenda is anything that will keep my mom happy/occupied. I put DS in a tie dye shirt that my mom bought him in honor of my dad (who was a hippie in the 60s).</p> <p>How is everyone else doing? How do you plan on telling your LO about his/her grandparents? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/4#post-1793415 Fri, 01 Aug 2014 02:47:55 +0000 Cherrybee 1793415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Iced Tea: Oh my goodness, you've just had the most awful year. I'm so, so sorry to hear about your losses. I lost my first pregnancy the day after my dad passed away. It was hard to grieve two things at the same time - if I cried about my baby I felt so guilty for not hurting harder for my dad. Then at my dad's funeral I felt bitter and hurt that my baby didn't get the same recognition. Basically, your feelings are just really messed up. I really hope for some healing for you and I hope that your baby brings some much needed joy into your lives (congratulations by the way!). :heart: </p> <p>@owlteach: It must be so difficult for you to see your mum "moving on". It must feel like that little tiny bit you have left of your dad - the gaping hole he left - is systematically being taken away from you. I'm sorry. :heart: I think it's lovely that your dad will be paying for your IF treatments (if required); I love that he can help you with this even if he can't be there for you in person. </p> <p>@Pepper: Can it really be only a year ago that she was diagnosed? It all just happened so quickly, didn't it? It was about 9 months between my dad finding the lump in his neck and his passing in 2012 - it seemed longer, though, somehow. Sending you lots and lots of love. :heart: </p> <p>I think about my dad often. It will be two years in September . He would have adored E. :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1793409 Fri, 01 Aug 2014 02:17:13 +0000 Pepper 1793409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Iced Tea: First of all, I am so, so sorry for your losses. How awful, to lose both parents, and your first pregnancy. My heart goes out to you, you've had a terrible year. :( My mom died in October when my son was 4 months old. I was glad she got to meet him, but I am still filled with sadness, and at times bitterness, that he will grow up without knowing or remembering her. I can understand the jealousy. I don't have siblings with children, but I am jealous of friends with children who have their moms to lean on.</p> <p>My husband works long hours, too. He works 55+ hours a week. I was really worried about being at home by myself so much in the very beginning when he was a newborn, but it really wasn't as bad as I envisioned. It's good that your husband may take a job with less hours, though. I'm sure you'll appreciate having him around more.</p> <p>You'll find a ton of support here. I don't have a lot of mom friends IRL, but I have met some wonderful people here, and received a ton of support, advice, and love on these boards. Sending you a hug. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1793395 Fri, 01 Aug 2014 00:58:10 +0000 Iced Tea 1793395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I lost my mom 3 years ago. She battled cancer twice. She was my best friend. I took the summer off to care for her in her last months; I will always be grateful for that time. It was hard, but it was an honor to do that for her. My sister's kids got to meet her, and I'm kind of jealous that our baby-to-be will not. </p> <p>In November, I lost my dad. It was sudden, a heart attack. I was surprised to find that experience harder than losing my mom. We weren't very close; he wasn't present for a large part of my life. But the realization that I was basically parentless at 31 was so hard. I was, and am, seriously angry about it. </p> <p>My in-laws live overseas, and we live far from other relatives. Lacking a support system, we've had to change a lot in our lives to make it possible to start a family. I changed jobs. I now work from home with reduced hours and make half the money I otherwise would. My husband will probably change jobs before our baby comes in February because his current job has such long hours. Even just the pregnancies (we had a loss prior) have been so hard without support, I'm dreading finding out how hard it will be when the baby is here and no one can help us out, ever. </p> <p>I read HB boards about baby showers, and everyone's talking about how generously their parents gave. Elsewhere people talk about their parents at the birth. I'm facing those moments without my parents. </p> <p>I feel like it's such uncharted territory too. My friends here don't have kids. They don't "get" pregnancy. Or parenthood. Or living life without parents. </p> <p>Overall, it's been an exceptionally difficult year. I've lost 5 close family members, including our first baby-to-be and my dad, in the last 9 months. It seems like someone's poor idea of a sick joke. When anyone suggests these things are "part of a plan", I want to scream. I can't imagine any sane god planning such a terrible series of events. Why can't people just say, "I'm sorry for your loss"? The attempts to rationalize it don't help me. </p> <p>Who do you lean on for support if no one who understands is really around? I think that's how we ended up on HB. A lack of support IRL. </p> <p>Right now I'm thrilled about the pregnancy but so worried about how we will make it work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1787275 Tue, 29 Jul 2014 13:05:22 +0000 owlteach 1787275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pepper: Thanks hun :heart: </p> <p>Unfortunately, those feelings never go away. I wish that I could say they do, but they don't. I do think that I deal with and manage those instances better than I did right after we lost him. I guess I know my triggers better and have learned to stifle things for a while, until I get home and can fall apart there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1787212 Tue, 29 Jul 2014 12:39:42 +0000 Pepper 1787212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@owlteach: I totally missed your post, but just wanted to offer you a hug. I have super conflicted feelings even thinking about my dad dating (it's something I don't even like to think about), so I can understand how hard that must be for you. I like the way that @stargal: put it about the IF treatments, this could be a way for your dad to help you again. &lt;3 and I'm so sorry to hear about your dog.</p> <p>I went looking for this thread today, because today marks one year since we found out my mom had cancer. I miss her so much. It still hits me like a ton of bricks sometimes. I'll be driving and remembering stuff about her, and then it's like the wind gets knocked out of me, realizing that I'll never see her again. Ugh. I'm guessing those feelings will never go away, though. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1783244 Sat, 26 Jul 2014 20:19:23 +0000 owlteach 1783244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@stargal: Thank you for your kind words. If it comes to that, it will be a beautiful way to use that money. </p> <p>@MrsH: Thank you for understanding :)</p> <p>You guys are wonderful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1782920 Sat, 26 Jul 2014 11:49:21 +0000 MrsH 1782920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@owlteach: I understand - I would rather have my Dad as compared to any amount of money. With that said, I think you should use the money for IF treatments if your Mom offered and if you want to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1782829 Sat, 26 Jul 2014 09:36:26 +0000 stargal 1782829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@owlteach: I can't imagine how hard it is to see your mom with a boyfriend. I'm so sorry you have yo deal with that on top of so many other things going on too. O think your dad would want you to use the money to help achiebe a baby,.I think its the perfect way to spend the money, esp since you said your dad was always there for you and helping. Maybe this is his way to still help you, ya know? Lots of love :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1782628 Fri, 25 Jul 2014 23:44:39 +0000 owlteach 1782628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi ladies,</p> <p>I hope everyone's doing alright. I had breakfast with my mom this morning, our relationship has been really tough lately. She's started dating, and is getting pretty serious about someone. I'm sure he's a really great guy, but I just can't handle it right now. My mom told me that she had a chunk of change from my dad's life insurance that she hasn't used that we could use for fertility treatments, if needed (I'm going to see an RE in August). I'm having a really hard time with it. I don't want to be spending my dad's life insurance money on anything (even though I know this is how he'd want it spent), I don't want to be infertile, I don't want to have to figure out how to manage Christmas (my dad's favorite) with my mom's boyfriend, and my dog died last week. </p> <p>I'm just such a horrible, messy bundle of emotion tonight and I figured that if anyone could understand it, that it would be you guys. This whole IF thing has been soo hard, but I can't help but think that the whole thing would have been easier with my dad around, he made everything easier.</p> <p>Thanks for letting me vent and whine! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1628325 Mon, 12 May 2014 09:17:23 +0000 Pepper 1628325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRoo: It's definitely bittersweet, but I did end up somewhat enjoying the day. I hope you did, too &lt;3</p> <p>@bunnylove08: That's how I felt, too. Before I went to bed on Saturday, I was a crying sad mess. When I woke up on Sunday I felt a lot better. It's good to let it out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1628312 Mon, 12 May 2014 09:13:27 +0000 bunnylove08 1628312@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRoo: Thank you! I hope your enjoyed your day too. I think I needed time to just feel sad and after everyone woke up and we got our day started I felt much better. Thank you for thinking of me. I'm sorry for your loss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1627505 Sun, 11 May 2014 15:45:59 +0000 MrsRoo 1627505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pepper: aww, hugs! :heart: I love the idea of watching home movies, I wish I had access to mine. I got up before anyone else today and looked through photos of my mom and I when I was LOs age. It was sad but looking at the similarities between us made me smile. Mother's Day will probably always be bittersweet, but I hope you get to enjoy it a little bit today...</p> <p>@stargal: I think that's a great idea. I took LO to my moms grave once, and seeing her happy and toddling around and grabbing the flowers actually made me happy. :heart: </p> <p>@bunnylove08: it's been 12 years for me, too and some days it feels so fresh. Happy birthday, I hope you get to have a little joy today :heart: </p> <p>Wishing you all a happy Mother's Day </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1627281 Sun, 11 May 2014 11:17:58 +0000 bunnylove08 1627281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pepper: @stargal: Thank you! I think hanging out with family really helped. My sister and I looked at old pictures and it made me smile :) </p> <p>Wishing you ladies a happy Mother's day :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1627174 Sun, 11 May 2014 08:34:20 +0000 stargal 1627174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pepper: :heart: :heart: thinking of you today. Snuggle that sweet boy of yours. And home videos sound perfectb :heart: </p> <p>@bunnylove08: hang In there.happy birthday! Try to enjoy it, I'm sure your mom would want nothing more then for you to enjoy your birthday even if its only for a little bit :heart: :heart:</p> <p>Thinking of going to my moms grave and having p pick out some balloons to put on her. It will cheer me up to see him laughing and playing there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1627147 Sun, 11 May 2014 07:57:57 +0000 Pepper 1627147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@twoofeverything: &lt;3 Sending you a hug. Enjoy those sweet babies today. </p> <p>@bunnylove08: Aww happy birthday! &lt;3 I'm sorry you're so sad today, both occasions at once would be really hard, so I get it. Hugs hugs.</p> <p>@Kimberlybee: Thanks, friend. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1627114 Sun, 11 May 2014 06:51:08 +0000 bunnylove08 1627114@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pepper: :heart: I totally feel you. I woke up crying today because I miss my mom so much. I think it hurts a lot because today is my birthday too.. It's been 12 years and today feels like the first day she passed. Sending you lots of hugs and thank you for bumping this thread. I really needed it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1627052 Sun, 11 May 2014 00:15:57 +0000 twoofeverything 1627052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pepper: Me too. I try to focus on my babies and how much I love being a Mom, but the day gets overshadowed. HUGS. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1627048 Sun, 11 May 2014 00:06:36 +0000 Kimberlybee 1627048@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pepper: Hugs dear friend! I am so sorry and know how you feel. :heart: Mother's Day was always hard for my DH and I. His mom died of pancreatic cancer in 1996 and my mom is retired overseas. The only way to see her is if we travel overseas because she doesn't plan on visiting soon. We use to always be invited to celebrate at other people's Mother's Day parties like his aunt or my aunt. The gesture is nice but it's just not the same. I am just so thankful to be able to start our own traditions this year. Last year was my first Mother's Day but I was such a new mom that I forgot to take a picture of me and H together. I came home from the hospital the night before and was still resting from my C-section. I am counting this year as my first fun Mother's Day. I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow to start your own traditions too. Watching videos of your mom sounds like a great way to start the day! XOXO </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1627047 Sun, 11 May 2014 00:02:23 +0000 NurseMommy 1627047@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pepper: awwww, I love that idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1627018 Sat, 10 May 2014 22:58:20 +0000 Pepper 1627018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NurseMommy: I'm sorry that Father's Day was rough for you, too. I understand the anger. </p> <p>Maybe I'll make it a tradition for us to watch some old home movies of my mom and I. That way LO could see his grandma, see his mom as a kid, and I could feel like I'm spending the day with her. Probably won't mean much to him til he's a bit older, But I'd enjoy it. </p> <p>Thanks for the inspiration. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1627003 Sat, 10 May 2014 22:41:45 +0000 NurseMommy 1627003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pepper: :heart: I'm sorry you're having a rough time. Not totally the same, but I felt similar last Father's Day. It was DH's first and instead of being happy for him and wanting to celebrate him, I was angry. I wanted to be with MY dad. Maybe try and do something tomorrow that commemorates your mom, and incorporate it as a tradition? Tell your DS a story about her? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1626994 Sat, 10 May 2014 22:30:00 +0000 Pepper 1626994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hope nobody minds, but I wanted to bump this thread. I've been having a hard time tonight... feeling really, really sad that tomorrow is Mother's Day and my mom isn't here to celebrate with me. I'm more sad about Mother's Day than I am excited, which is also sad, because it's my first official one as C's mom. </p> <p>Don't get me wrong, there is nothing on earth I am more grateful for than being a mom to my sweet little boy, I just really miss MY mom. I never realized how painful these kind of holidays can be when you've lost a parent. </p> <p>Just wanted to get that off my chest, and offer a hug to anyone else who might be feeling sad &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1372505 Thu, 23 Jan 2014 23:46:03 +0000 owlteach 1372505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NurseMommy: I don't think you killed the thread :) I can only speak for myself, but I kind of needed a break too. It felt to get some of that out there, but then I needed to step back again. It's funny, I clicked into this thread without realizing it had started back up again cause I was going to check and see how everyone's doing! I'm sorry that you are having such a rough time lately. </p> <p>@Pepper: that would break my heart too. My dad collected sporting antiques, and I have a little pamphlet from the 50's about how to throw a baseball that was designed for little leaguers. In his handwriting at the top it says: "To my Em, love pops". I have to keep it hidden, cause it still kills me.</p> <p>I'm having a really hard time with my mom right now. We used to be SOOO close, but she keeps making comments like the old responsible mom is gone, and I'm just going to do what I want. Last night she said it in regards to my older brother that has some special needs and has a hard time socially. It broke my heart. I'm so mad at her right now. He needs her, and I really need her right now and she's decided to just check out. It is SOOO unlike her and I feel like I lost my dad and now I'm losing my mom too. I'm sure this is just a phase, and I want to fix our relationship, I'm just not sure that I'm capable of being the bigger person right now I guess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1371367 Thu, 23 Jan 2014 17:37:53 +0000 NurseMommy 1371367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pepper: aw, my heart just broke for you. I feel guilty about things like that, I can only imagine how that must hurt. BUT, at least her entry shows you that she wasn't harbouring negative feelings toward you about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1369103 Thu, 23 Jan 2014 00:53:55 +0000 Pepper 1369103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NurseMommy: :( I'm so sorry. That date must be really hard to approach and deal with. I always think what life will be like next summer/fall. I bought my mom and I one of those line a day journals. I haven't been able to write in it since she passed away. I found hers in her nightstand... she wrote down every time that I turned a new week in my pregnancy. </p> <p>She wrote this one entry that makes me feel so sad and guilty. She had called me when I was on my way home from work one day when I was like 30 weeks pregnant. She wanted to know when my maternity leave was going to end, and when she'd start watching C. I snapped at her because I was annoyed/felt guilty at the thought of going back to work, and I didn't want to talk about it when he wasn't even here yet! I told her the date and that was that. Meanwhile, in this journal, she wrote "So excited to find out I will be watching C starting blah blah date!" I was so snappy with her on the phone, and she was just excited. Ugh. Guilt. :(</p> <p>Sorry, didn't mean to write a novel, haha. I hope everyone else is doing well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-of-you-that-lost-a-parent/page/3#post-1369069 Thu, 23 Jan 2014 00:24:42 +0000 NurseMommy 1369069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry guys, I didn't mean to totally kill this thread. </p> <p>I'm having panic attacks on a regular basis now as we get close to the date that we found out my dad had cancer. It was January 27. I have this one line a day journal and every day when I write in it and read what I wrote last year I just feel so bad for the "old me" who had no idea how terribly my life was going to change. </p> <p>How's everyone else doing? </p>