https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 09 May 2026 02:12:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s/page/2#post-592886 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 19:42:56 +0000 mrsmate 592886@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was 31 when DD was born. She took 9mo to conceive, and now at 33.5 we are having trouble conceiving. I tell everyone who asks that is in their late 20s and up to not delay TTC. You just never know what problems you are going to run into. Even my RE told me at my first appt that at my age "we don't have a lot of time to lose." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s/page/2#post-592880 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 19:37:47 +0000 MrsMccarthy 592880@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i think many older moms also benefit from being more ready for children and out of their more selfish or experimental phase in life. There are old souls out there i know but i was not one of them. I had a lot of yayas to get out. now i feel i am better equiped. I also had an easier pregnancy than many women much younger than me. I think it's an individual thing. Eggs do age so that is something to consider but other than that I think it really depends on the individual because some 40 year olds are healthier or have better genes than 19 year olds. It's all relative. Since it took you a while to conceive I would say you definitely want to factor that in but who knows your next pregnancy could happen like that! many women experience increased fertility after having their first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s/page/2#post-592836 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 19:02:58 +0000 Ree723 592836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was just shy of 33 when our LO was born, and since we plan on having three, I will definitely be 35 when I'm having my third, possibly even the second, depending how things turn out! I see nothing wrong with it. I take care of myself, live a healthy lifestyle, and have no risky behaviours/underlying health problems that would make my pregnancy risky. Therefore, I am not the slightest bit concerned about having a baby "later" in life.</p> <p>I also had an 'old' mom growing up - she didn't start having kids until she was 30, which back in the late 70s/early 80s, was really unusual. She was definitely one of the oldest moms but I loved it. I hated the moms who tried to be friends with their kids - yes, you might only be 20 years older than your child, but you still need to be the parent, not your child's friend. Even though my mom was strict, wore mom jeans, and had no idea what bands were cool, I was really glad to have a mom that wasn't too busy trying to be cool, to focus on the important aspect of parenting.</p> <p>ETA: Not saying all younger moms try to befriend their kids, that was just my experience with some of my friends who had younger moms. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s/page/2#post-592807 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 18:46:29 +0000 MrsSCB 592807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: You're welcome! My mom is pretty cool, and as I said I've always been proud of her! Even when I was a kid, I thought it was awesome that my mom landed a 30-year-old husband when she was 40 :-) I'm sure your kids will think you're equally awesome! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s/page/2#post-592801 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 18:41:53 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 592801@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: Awww... thank you so much for sharing your perspective. I always worry that my kids will think I'm some kind of freak for having them older. Also, your mom was a pioneer. It's unusual now to be 10 years older as the woman (which I am), but for your mom, that was really ground breaking. I bet she's a cool chick! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s/page/2#post-592800 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 18:41:47 +0000 ladyfingers 592800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think about this a lot. We were fortunate to get pregnant relatively quickly with DS, but I was 31 when I conceived and 32 when I delivered. I don't feel like there's much of a societal stigma anymore, tbh, because its more common to have children later in life, but the medical risks are real. </p> <p>For us, there are a lot of factors to consider in having a second. I never realized it would be a hard decision, and always wanted 2. Now I'm not sure. I'd want to wait at least a year before discussing it, and ideally have D weaned and potty trained first. But there's the cost of having 2 in daycare - not possible with our current salaries. There's the size of our house - fine for 3, not for 4. There's the fact that there would be things we couldn't do for D with a second child - we couldn't save as much for him, or take trips, or give him as much, or even spend as much time with him.</p> <p>And then there's the physical stuff. I feel like I had a relatively uncomplicated pregnancy - just gestational diabetes but it was well-controlled with diet and didn't affect DS at all - but it took a lot out of me. I was in a lot of physical discomfort and just exhausted and emotional. The postpartum period has been hard on me. I worry that being 2-3 years older, it would all be even harder. But age aside, I don't know how people care for a toddler and a newborn. </p> <p>So I guess all this is just to say, having a second is a hard enough decision, but when I factor age into it, I just don't know if I could do it. On the other hand, DH and I are both only children so DS would have no aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. and then no siblings. That's hard to think about, too (not that that should be a sole reason for having a kid). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-592795 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 18:37:50 +0000 MrsSCB 592795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just want to share my perspective as the child of an older mom. My mom was over 40 when she had me and my sister is 2.5 years younger. She's always been older than most of my friends' parents but it never bothered me, and it was definitely a lot more uncommon to have an older mom when I was growing up. In fact, I kind of loved telling people how old she was because they would just be shocked. I think we keep her young! She's ten years older than my dad but it totally doesn't seem that way. </p> <p>As for any worries about increased risk of having a baby with various different issues, I only have the anecdotal evidence from my life, but my sister and I are totally healthy and normal and we both did well in school and went to the same top-tier university. So basically, this is a long rambling way for me to say, from possibly your future children's perspective, haha, that I wouldn't be worried! I understand your concerns but I'm sure you'll be just as great a mom post-35 as you are now! :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-592734 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 18:12:03 +0000 sooz 592734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We started TTC at age 33 and it took us a lot longer than we had anticipated. I had our LO at just a couple months before my 37th birthday. I had hoped to have our first before I turned 35, but life doesn't always happen the way you plan it.</p> <p>Anyway, no, I don't feel stigma at being an older mom, but I'll be honest and say that I probably wouldn't have the back pain and the carpal tunnel and all the little body aches and pains if I had had my son when I was younger. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-592658 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 17:38:56 +0000 MrsMccarthy 592658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had my son at 35 and when I was tested my chances of Downs and trisomy 18 were 1 in 10,000. I do not think it makes much of a difference in the health of the baby at all. Most of my friends have had healthy babies after 35. You just have to be more aware of time because we only have so many eggs. i have seen many women in their 20s though struggle with infertility and some older women sail by. I do not think anyone, regardless of their age should take fertility for granted. They say it's healthiest for mom and baby if you have about 12-18 months between pregnancies. We plan to try for number two when i turn 37 in June 2014. As for a stigma, i think stigma's are stupid because there is nothing wrong with having a kid at 22 if you are ready or at 40 if you are ready. we just have to be realistic about what might come along with trying at those ages and then think about our own personal circumstances. To hell with what other people think. go with your own gutt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-592053 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 13:46:32 +0000 betsyboop 592053@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ideally I'd like to have #2 before I turn 35, which will be in a few years. I wouldn't mind being an older mom but I'm more concerned about the health aspect although I admittedly haven't looked into it too much. My best friend is an OB though, and she constantly tells me about complications she sees at work in pregnant women who are 35+. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-592038 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 13:40:27 +0000 pinkcupcake 592038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was 30 when I had my LO and we probably won't try for #2 for at least another year or two. I love being able to spend all this one-on-one w/LO right now. Ideally, I would have started having kids earlier but with grad school, work, etc it just wasn't a good time. I do get a little worried with 35 approaching, but hopefully we'll have #2 before then! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-592027 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 13:37:01 +0000 Maysprout 592027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always wanted kids so I took declining fertility with age into account. I had my first LO right before I turned 30 and hopefully #2 will show up when we're 32 (we're 31 now). I'd like to have a 3rd so I'll probably be getting close to 35 at that point. I'm not too worried about having kids afterwards if that's how it happens. But we did factor age into our family plan when we first started talking about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-592006 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 13:28:07 +0000 meredithNYC 592006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It worries me a little, even though I live in an area where women tend to delay having children until their mid-30s or so. I'm 31 and LO is 9 months old. I want to wait until she's 2 to try for another, and if that all goes to plan I'll be 33 when the next one is born. After that, who knows? I originally wanted 3 kids, but that's before I knew how demanding parenthood is. If I go for 3, it's unlikely that it will all happen before I'm 35 and so that's fine. I personally probably wouldn't go past 40 unless it happened by accident. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-591946 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 13:10:56 +0000 shopaholic 591946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used to think it was a big deal, but we just kept enjoying our married time together until I finally started thinking "we better get this show on the road!" last year! I'll be 33 when #1 is born and we'll probably want to wait at least 2 years to start trying for #2. I'm not so worried about having #2 beyond 35 since we've already had a #1. DH is definitely not worried, he has so many colleagues and friends (women) "start" families around the age of 40 so he doesn't see it as a big deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-591835 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 12:42:38 +0000 tysonja 591835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm currently 29 and pregnant with my second LO, but I would have no qualms about being pregnant/giving birth past 35 or older. For me personally, we are hoping to have all 4 (maybe?) before i'm 35 (dh is currently 26) for only the reason that we would prefer to have our children grown up by the time we are in our mid 50's -- just have other things we'd love to try out, and also i LOVE big families and would love to have a million grandchildren. totally respect anyone who decides differently! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-591829 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 12:41:38 +0000 sweetooth 591829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We started TTC when I was 32. I thought I would have 2 babies by the time I was 35 or 36. Now I'm 34, and my TTC journey continues. I had no idea it would, or could take this long to get pregnant. But I don't regret starting to try when I was 32. Mentally, financially, emotionally - I was in the best possible place. Infertility has definitely tested all of those aspects, so I'm glad I started this journey on solid ground.</p> <p>I wish I could have been done having kids before 35, but this is my life. And I am going to do my best to block out the stigma and the stupid "advanced maternal age" label that I will get at the end of this year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-591792 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 12:32:39 +0000 ShootingStar 591792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm 34 and just got married a few months ago. On one hand I would've loved for my life to have moved quicker and been able to get married younger and want kids sooner. But I didn't start dating DH until I was 32, after a failed relationship that lasted a few years. And before this I didn't feel ready for the responsibility to be a mom. </p> <p>I'm trying to get pregnant now and hope to give birth when I'm 35. So I probably won't be able to have baby #2 until I'm 37 or so. It's not my ideal, but it is what it is. This is when and how our life came together, so we'll have to work with it :). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-591738 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 12:20:15 +0000 littlek 591738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm 34 and my LO will be 9 months old on thursday. Age is a concern, so we are planning on TTC for #2 soon. I got pregnant right away (first try, we were NTNP) so I'm hoping it will be the same case for #2. I had CVS test for my first pregnancy so I won't be shocked if I have it the 2nd time round. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-591693 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 12:05:52 +0000 2PeasinaPod 591693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't worry about being an "old" mom, but I do worry about the health risks for the baby the older I get. I'm 32 and just had LO 5 months ago, and I do worry about being able to get pregnant and having a healthy baby this time around as well. Ideally, we'd like to have one more, but it took us almost a year and a half to get pregnant with LO...and I tested at a higher risk for downs when I went for genetic testing. Just worries me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-591633 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 11:40:35 +0000 mrsjazz 591633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't feel any stigma, maybe it's because I live in NYC and many of my friends don't have children yet or the ones that do are my age and older.</p> <p>I turned 34 a couple of weeks after having LO. I've always wanted 2 and even though I don't want to go through pregnancy/delivery again we will most likely have another. I'll be 35 soon and I want to VBAC, so I'm not even thinking about getting pregnant again until LO is 2. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-591626 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 11:37:23 +0000 MrsKoala 591626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm 30 now and haven't started TTC yet. I will probably be 31 when we do start and we plan to have 2 with room for consideration for a third. The over 35 risks to baby are what scares me so much especially Down's Syndrome so I'm hoping to have all our LO's before 35 but who knows what will happen? We'll try our best and see. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-591617 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 11:35:20 +0000 Anagram 591617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was born when my parents were 36, and my little sister when my parents were 41. We were numbers 5 and 6 out of 6 kids.</p> <p>My mom had two healthy pregnancies and two healthy kids, although my sister has mental issues and they do say that schizophrenia may be more common among those with higher-aged parents. </p> <p>BUT, that isn't proven, and there isn't any real thing that's proven to cause schizophrenia, although there's a much higher risk if the parents have it (my parents did not), but one of my mom's uncles AND one of my dad's aunt had it, so we had it on both sides.</p> <p>Anyway, long story short. I'll be 33 when I give birth to my first LO, so it's likely our second will be at 35 or later, and I have no problem with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-591603 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 11:28:55 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 591603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@RLCeigh: I'm with you. Now on the other side of 40, I have a hard time wrapping my head around the problems with delayed fertility and family planning. Our timeline has worked so well for us and *for me personally* I would have been a crappy parent in my 20's (though some of the best parents I know are in their 20s).</p> <p>So for me, it was fully worth the risks to delay having our babies until 38 and 40. Yeah, we did all the screening, but it all turned out ok.</p> <p>You have to do what is going to work best for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-591579 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 11:24:30 +0000 RLCeigh 591579@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure what the stigma is--- never felt it. I'm 38 now and I have an 18 month old and thinking about a second very soon. We also live in a major city so I see lots of moms close to 40.<br /> As long as you take care of yourself (like any other mom to be), I actually love being a mom at this time in our life and wouldn't change a thing. I was coded as 'Advanced Maternal Age' so I got to have more doctor visits but that was fine. I had an easy pregnancy and an amazing healthy baby :)! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-591298 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 10:14:04 +0000 immabeetoo 591298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not in my 30s but wanted to say I was a surprise bany for my mom when she was 37. At that time she said she felt like the oldest mom on the planet - but I was healthy and happy! Iobviously anecdotal but just from a kids perspective having older parents had some advantages and I know she said it was a lot easier in some ways than when he had my brother in her twenties :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-591241 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 09:57:09 +0000 littlebittyhouse 591241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am 32 and our first LO is 8mo. I'm not worried about having a second after 35 from a health standpoint but I do think about it from a child rearing standpoint - I'd rather not be older than 55 when any kiddos graduate from high school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-591235 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 09:53:26 +0000 cascademom 591235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just turned 33 a week ago. I'd like to be done having kids by 35. I'm worried about the increased risks as well. If everything goes according to my ideal plan, I will be pregnant and deliver a second baby at 34. I want mine close in age, just need LO to STTN before DH and I can think of adding another. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-591228 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 09:50:20 +0000 Grace 591228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It worries me. I'll be 33 when this one is born, so if plans work, I'll just be 35 for a second. I'm not worried about being an "old" mom or anything, it's more about the increased risk to the baby. And yes, I know nothing magical happens exactly at age 35, but like you said, the stigma is there and it freaks me out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-591148 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 09:33:20 +0000 Lately 591148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I thought I wanted to at least get started on building a family before 35, but the closer you get to that age the more you realize that it's not nearly as "old" or unrealistic as it seemed at 20, 25 or 30.</p> <p>I'm now 34 and trying for our first, and for the first time it feels not like something I could deal with when it happened-- it feels totally right now. I've had my chance to go to school, live overseas, go to school some more, settle into a stable job, and even get a house. None of those are a prerequisite for having a kid, of course, but now I feel much more prepared to be a mom due to both my circumstances and my maturity and experience. I think I can be a much calmer mom than I would have been even 5 years ago.</p> <p>A lot of women in my social circles are having or had their first after 30, and I also know a few that started (very successfully) at age 35, so I have good role models that help allay my concerns. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/for-those-that-are-in-their-30s#post-591145 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 09:32:30 +0000 Modern Daisy 591145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'll turn 32 right after my first baby is born and I imagine I'll have a second before I turn 35 assuming we can get pregnant again. Age will have nothing to do with whether or not we try for a 3rd to be honest. </p>