https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 03 May 2026 18:51:28 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470634 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 23:19:49 +0000 gingerbebe 2470634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ZacharysMommy: I'm super glad you were able to get your MIL off baby watch - you will be better off in the long run. However, I would really advise you to look into some other child care options just to have them on hand. My mom cared for my son 3 days a week from the time he was 4 months and by the time he was a year old, she started to get over the novelty of watching her grandson and he was becoming a lot more mobile and exhausting for her to keep up with. We always told her we were happy to find other arrangements if she would just give us some notice, but she kept silently getting more and more resentful (despite the fact that she was well compensated by us) until one day she just upped and quit on us. Like, the week of Thanksgiving. It was unbelievably stressful trying to find childcare out of nowhere. Its also put a really bad taint on our relationship with my mom. I would hope nothing like that happened to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470632 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 23:16:04 +0000 Torchwood 2470632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So glad to hear you're able to not have her watch him! Her behavior is just un-freaking-believable. These aren't just whims of yours; she's literally seriously risking his life. Wtf is wrong with people sometimes? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470623 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 23:03:44 +0000 MoonMoon 2470623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm glad to read your update, hopefully the new arrangement with your mom will lift a burden, and most importantly, get your son out of a potentially harmful situation.</p> <p>Thank goodness for your mom! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470619 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 22:52:32 +0000 simplyfelicity 2470619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ZacharysMommy: I'm happy to hear you reached a resolution! I agree that taking your mom out or paying for her to get a massage would be appreciated. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470618 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 22:49:05 +0000 Autumnmama79 2470618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ZacharysMommy: you must be relieved!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470573 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 21:29:16 +0000 littlejoy 2470573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm glad you have some resolution. Maybe you could take your mom to lunch &amp; a pedi to say thank you for her extra work. She'll enjoy her time with you, and it'll give you a chance to relax. Your MIL sounds like mine: completely selfish. I'm so sorry!!! Hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470559 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 21:09:45 +0000 winter_wonder 2470559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So glad you wont have to worry about her providing care. Yay for your mom filling in extra, what a relief! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470550 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 20:53:14 +0000 ZacharysMommy 2470550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you so much everyone! It helps to get validation. I didnt give my husband enough credit because he was on my side and agreed with everything. He spoke to her and she decided she doesnt want to watch him anymore because she doesnt like being in our apartment. So if she cant drive him to her house she eould rather not watch him. This is ultimately what I wanted but her decision still makes me angry because I feel like she is just selfish and rude. My mom eill watch him for now although I felt bad asking her. I am considerate of other people, unlike my mil! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470537 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 20:40:18 +0000 matador84 2470537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like something my mil would do. She's a big chain smoker so she doesn't get to do anything with my kids unless directly supervised (we're out to eat at a restaurant, etc). She just can't be trusted. In this case, I would find another caregiver. Not worth the stress! If she doesn't get it now, she probably never will. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470524 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 20:25:44 +0000 FaithFertility 2470524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Man, I am so sorry!<br /> You have every right to be upset! I would be livid!<br /> Hopefully DH can take his mom off her pedestal for his child and your sanity!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470481 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 20:00:52 +0000 mediagirl 2470481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Your feelings are justified. </p> <p>I would not just be mad but I would be so, so worried about my child. And that is the last thing you need on top of everything else when going back to work. I know others have asked but is daycare an option? I don't see this working out. The fact that your husband thinks his mom can do no wrong is a huge warning flag here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470473 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 19:45:37 +0000 MoonMoon 2470473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oooh that sucks. I'm feeling anxiety just reading that. It seems like she's not respecting your wishes or basic rules of safety. Is there any way your mom can do 4 days, at least for a while? It's not even worth discussing. I would NOT let her watch my infant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470462 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 19:27:50 +0000 simplyfelicity 2470462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry, this sounds so stressful! The carseat isn't the biggest deal because she can learn but the fact that she doesn't even want to learn is the biggest problem. Add the lack of feeding and smoking, I would just be glad you found out now before something really bad happened. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470442 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 18:22:19 +0000 Truth Bombs 2470442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have given her a pass on the car seat IF she was willing to learn. But the fact that she laughed about not having him safely secured tells me exactly how little she cares about doing what's best for him. I honestly wouldn't let her be alone with the baby ever again given her lack of concern for his well being </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470439 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 18:18:03 +0000 Autumnmama79 2470439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ZacharysMommy: omg I would be livid. This is the last thing you should have to be dealing with on top of returning to work! What other options are available? Could your mum pick up MILs days until you find something? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470433 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 18:04:49 +0000 PawPrints 2470433@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not okay at all. I'd be freaking out too. I wouldn't want LO in that car or in her house or in her care at all. Certainly if she smokes in her car, her house probably reeks as well. Part-time nanny? Nanny-share? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470431 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 17:59:59 +0000 josina 2470431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You are 100% justified in freaking out. The car seat thing... she can learn from. Smoking in the car with baby is NOT okay, smoking in the car period and then having baby in there isn't okay. Even the smoke on her clothes, DS will pick up.<br /> My in-laws smoke in their house and we wouldn't take DS there for more than a few minutes until they quit, thank god they did!<br /> I'd try and find another option asap. So sorry you're dealing with this right after going back to work. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470430 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 17:59:11 +0000 Pumpkin Pie 2470430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This situation would definitely make me uncomfortable,and I'd try to find another caretaker asap. It is such a horrible feeling not to be able to trust the caretaker of your child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470427 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 17:56:34 +0000 Eko 2470427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with others that I would look for a new provider. I would also be concerned that your DH wouldn't think any of this is a concern. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470423 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 17:53:59 +0000 Alba4 2470423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, this is so stressful. I would give her one more chance. So much has changed since our parents had kids. Maybe you can give her a check list or written reminders to help her with everything. If the pattern continues, find new care!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470421 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 17:49:20 +0000 catomd00 2470421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have cut her some slack on the car seat and just made her practice with me until she got it right, but the smoking? No. I wouldn't let a smoker around my child on a regular basis - family or not. Second and third hand smoke are dangerous! I'd be finding a new caregiver. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470420 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 17:48:03 +0000 Silva 2470420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry, that sounds awful. I agree with others- the smoking alone would have me looking for another caregiver ASAP. The car seat thing is scary, but she could learn. My mom had no idea about car seat safety but was willing to learn. Even third hand smoke (left on clothing of a smoker) is bad for babies, let alone being in a car with someone who is smoking. There is actually a push to make that illegal in my state. It's incredibly bad for the baby.<br /> I didn't write all of that to make you feel bad, but to validate you feelings! Do you have any other options? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470418 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 17:46:04 +0000 pwnstar 2470418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My advice is to find another caregiver. Because that situation is going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better (eta: the smoking and not feeding your LO are huge no go's to me). I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I also had problems with my MIL, and looking back, it was just not worth the strain on me or my marriage. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470417 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 17:42:47 +0000 travelgirl1 2470417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs mama ❤️<br /> Is daycare an option for the days your MIL is meant to have him? It isn't just one or two issues, that is a lot of stuff to get her to work on, and serious stuff too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/freak-out-over-mil-watching-baby#post-2470407 Mon, 22 Feb 2016 17:30:30 +0000 ZacharysMommy 2470407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am livid right now. I have a 3 month old son and just went back to work. My mom watches him 2 days at her house; we drop him there in the morning and she lives close. My mil watches him the other 2 days and we had agreed she qould watch him in our apt since she isnt as close and it would save travel time. Well my husbands truck just broke down and we had to come up with a plan until we get a new one. My mom lets me take her car to work on her days. We agreed my mil would pick me up with the baby on her days and bring us home. I wasn't thrilled but it is what it is. So today was the first time of her picking me up. I had stressed the importance of carseat safety and dh made sure to show her how to use the seat she has and how to make sure it is tight. I felt like she could handle this.....</p> <p>She picks me up, he is slumped over o the side becausr the straps are totally loose, and hanging off his shoulder!! Im not exaggerating, the strap was way down on his arm and everything was loose. The chest plate wasn't high enough, it was low on his belly but not that it mattered because the whole damn thing was so loose anyway. I told her it's hanging off him and she didn't think it was a big deal. She tried to blame my husband and say he is the one that set up the car seat. And then said, "well he's not going anywhere" and laughed. I said no this is not good. The straps need to be tight and need to be on his shoulders. Meanehile, the car smelled so badly of smoke I was suffocating. I got such a headache. My dh assured me his mom doesnt smoke in the car but obviously she does. If i couldn't breathe, imagine his poor lungs. I was so mad I wanted to cry. His clothes reek of smoke. She took him to visit someone too so he was in the car for awhile back and forth. </p> <p>Then she tells me she wants to bring him to her house everyday because she doesnt like being in our apartment. But i told her I don't want him being driven around like that. </p> <p>THEN she barely fed him! I left breastmilk and some formula as I have to supplement. I left how much he should eat and told her how much it was. She went out all day and she only brought some of tge breastmilk and one bottle of formula. Why she did that I have no idea. Makes no sense. But besides her not using all the breastmilk there was more formula too. So he didn'y have much to eat.</p> <p>I am so mad right now I don't know what to do. And dh hates if I go against his mom in any way and always sticks up for her. We're going to end up getting in an argument when he gets home. </p> <p>I just really needed to vent, thanks for anyone who read that. </p>